


Chiquitita

by therumandcokediaries



Series: Frostiron and Spiderson [9]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: (cp in early chapters only), AU, Age Regression/De-Aging, Corporal Punishment, Family, FrostIron - Freeform, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, IronDad and SpiderSon, Kid Peter Parker, Loki (Marvel) Needs a Hug, Medical stuff, Mental Health Stuff, Parent Loki (Marvel), Parent Tony Stark, Toddler Peter Parker, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, all the avengers are friends, family stuff, hospital/medical stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-10
Updated: 2019-09-02
Packaged: 2020-02-29 16:24:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 33
Words: 133,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18781867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/therumandcokediaries/pseuds/therumandcokediaries
Summary: Something strange is happening. Someone from space has made their way to Earth, armed with a strange weapon. Targeting teenagers, their ray gun, when fired, turns the victim into a toddler. The Avengers set out to stop this, and find a way to reverse the effects. However, they don’t all come out of the battle unscathed.





	1. Here We Go Again

-

Loki walked into the living room, reading over a letter. Tony was glued to the telly, Peter on his lap.

“Loki, what do you know about this?”

“Hm?” Loki looked up. “Sorry?”

“This thing. Do you know where it’s come from?”

Loki peered at the telly. He recognised the segment: he’d seen it several times already that day. He and his colleagues at the hospital had gathered round the television in the waiting room early that morning, no one knowing quite what to say. This strange being was turning teenagers into toddlers. The motives, if any, were unclear. It didn’t seem to be an effective strategy for… well, anything. Aside from distressing the family and mussing things up a bit, it didn’t really have much of an effect. It certainly wasn’t a global scale scare-story, anyway.

“This is the first time I’ve come across them too” Loki said, folding his letter and folding his arms over his chest.

“It’s weird, isn’t it?” Peter said, biting his thumb. “What’s the point?”

“I have no idea” Loki said. “There’s a lot of weird things about up there”

“You really don’t know anything about it?”

“No, Tony, I don’t. I don’t know everything in the universe” Loki sighed. “What’s that look for?”

“I… Well, I’ve been talking with Steve and Bruce. We think we need to do something about it”

“What, found a cure, have you?” Loki raised an eyebrow. 

“Well, no. But we could stop it from happening to another kid. I told your brother about it, too. He said he might be able to find someone who could reverse it, if he had the original weapon”

“It’s a bit strong classing it as a weapon, don’t you think?”

“Loki, people are being de-aged. Sure, in the grand scheme of things, it’s not physical harmful, but it’s still an attack, right?” he squeezed Peter tight, kissing him on the cheek. “How would you feel if our baby was hit with this weird ray gun?”

“I’m sure we’d manage” Loki said, yawning.

“Boring you, am I?” Tony said, scowling.

“Sorry, darling. I’m tired. It’s been a long day. We’ve had every conversation possible about this at work today” he said. “The kids aren’t hurt. After they’ve been hit, they don’t remember being big. They remember people, places, their likes and dislikes, that kind of thing”

“That’s a little bit beside my point” Tony said. “We need to stop this creature. What is it they’re calling him again?”

“Kindsprengen” Peter said. “It’s taken from German. Macy was saying. It’s the words for child and blast”

“That’s a rubbish name” Loki said. “Humans are idiots”

Tony rolled his eyes. “What would you call him, then?”

“How do you know it’s a he? Why do we need to name it?”

“For the tabloids” Peter said.

“Tony, you need to take a step back. Even if you can get the guy down, get the weapon, there’s no guarantee Thor can find a reversal”

“Oh what, so we’re just supposed to sit around and let it keep happening?”

“That’s not what I said”

“It’s what you meant” Tony shook his head at him. “The Avengers are supposed to look after the Earth. If it means taking down this guy - this  _Kindsprengen -_  then we’ll do it”

Peter looked back at the TV, even though the segment had long since finished.

“It’s kinda scary, don’t you think?”

Tony looked at him, and kissed him hard on the cheek. “You’re safe here, kiddo”

“I can help though, can’t I? With the battle?”

Tony laughed slightly. “Sure thing, kiddo. We’ll find a way to incorporate Spiderman. Daddy will help too”

“Uh, sorry, what?”

“I said, you’ll help”

“Uh, no, pacifist, remember?”

“Oh don’t pull that card” Tony sighed irritably. “You’re good at this kind of thing. You can step up just this once”

“I’ll think about it. Now, if you’ll excuse me, my bed is calling me”

“Loki”

“Hm?”

“It’s six o’ clock”

“So? I’m tired”

“What about tea?” Peter cut in. 

“I had a quick bite after my shift. I’m not going to starve to death over night” he kissed Peter on the nose. “Goodnight, chick”

Tony shook his head and sighed as Loki went off. He looked at Peter, and squeezed him tight.

“We’ll keep badgering him. He might not get on with the whole team, but he’ll help, and he’s good at the fight”

“I know” Peter said. “I don’t think he likes it though”

“No, he doesn’t” Tony said. “Still, we all have to do things we don’t want to do sometimes”

“…Why’s this guy going after teenagers?”

“I don’t know, chick. None of it makes any sense. All I know - all  _we_ know - is that it needs to be stopped. It’s not right and it’s not fair”

“We’ll stop him together, dad”

Tony couldn’t help smiling at him. “Yeah, of course we will. Me and you. And a handful of super-hero friends”

-

“Oh for fucks sake” Loki grumbled to himself, walking into the living room after another long shift to find the Avengers scattered around.

“Hey Loki” Tony said brightly.

“Hey dad!” Peter smiled.

Loki cleared his throat. “You didn’t tell me we were expecting company, darling”

“It was a little impromptu. I forgot to text, sorry”

“Never mind. I’ll leave you to it, shall we?” he said, turning on his heel.

“No, wait! We need you” Tony said. “Bruce, this blueprint-”

Loki sat down heavily, crossing one leg over the other, supporting his head with one hand, just his fingertips against his cheek bone. Peter jumped onto the sofa beside him.

“Hello again, Loki” Steve said.

Loki offered him a small, reluctant smile. He didn’t offer anyone else the same courtesy. He put an arm round Peter and ignored the room, wondering how it had come to this yet again. He didn’t like getting involved. To his credit, he did manage to weasel his way out of it a good 95% of the time. But that still meant that 5% of missions called for him. And that wasn’t ideal. 

Loki didn’t even bother listening to them. At first he kept tickling Peter and giving him sly little pokes, trying to make him laugh, but the boy glared and pushed his hand away, focusing his full attention on the conversation at hand. Loki sighed and sat daydreaming for a bit before getting his phone out.

“Loki” Tony said as soon as he had done so. “Can’t that wait?”

Loki narrowed his eyes but slowly put his phone back anyway. God, this was dull. There were only  _slightly_ more enemy agents than Avengers, and only one had the weird de-ageing gun. Surely they could just take down the main man and the others would fall behind? Whatever. Either way, the big worried discussion ahead of planning didn’t seem to be 100% necessary.

-

“Wait, so there’s no way to protect ourselves from this gun?” Peter said.

“This guy isn’t targeting adults” Clint said, and then stopped, realised the error of his sentence, and sighed. “Just stay out of his way”

“Robin Hood over there is right, Pete. I want you sticking to the background soldiers. Stay away from the main man” Tony said.

“I don’t think that’s necessary” Wanda said. “This kindsprengen won’t know that he’s a kid when he’s in his suit”

“They will if he speaks” Tony said. “Whatever, I just want him out of the away. You’re a helping hand, kid, not a main part”

“What?! Where’s the fairness in that?!”

“Hey, don’t get defensive: Wanda, Bruce, and Nat are helping hands this time round, too” Tony said. “You’re on the sub-team, lets put it that way”

“What about daddy?”

Loki felt the whole room turn to look at him.

“…What?”

“You’re on my team” Tony said.

Loki blinked at him, trying to think of a suitable response.

“You haven’t listened to a word of this, have you?” 

“I’ve had a long day”

Tony gave him an exasperated look, and shook his head. “Whatever, just know you’re on the front line”

“With?”

“With me. And your brother and Cap and Clint”

“Oh, I see” Loki said. “No Rhodey this time?”

“He’s away” Tony said. “So, are you going to cooperate?”

Loki didn’t say anything. 

“Not really in your nature, is it?” Clint said.

Loki shot him a look. “Ever considered dropping the ‘n’?”

“Shut up! You make that joke every time you see me and it’s never once been funny”

“Is that so? Well, Natasha over there seems to think otherwise” 

Clint quickly looked at Nat. “Are you serious?”

Nat shrugged, trying not to smile. “It is a little bit funny”

“Oh for gods sake” Tony sighed. “Can you two stop it? Please, at least leave the inappropriate jokes until  _after_ the sprog’s in bed”

“Dad, I’ve heard far worse from you” Peter said.

“Don’t get cheeky. Right, so, strategies. Bruce?”

-

Nat and Clint started drifting, talking quietly amongst themselves. Wanda tried to look like she was concentrating while she went off in a daydream. Even Peter started getting bored, until it was just Steve, Bruce, and Tony still contributing to the conversation. Thor caught Loki’s eye, but Loki quickly looked away, absentmindedly running his fingers through Peter’s hair. He was tired. He could feel his eyes drooping - and then his ears pricked up at the sound of the front door opening.

“Who the fuck is that?”

“Loki!” Tony snapped. “How many times? I don’t like you talking like that in front of Peter”

“Sorry, sorry” Loki said. “ _Whom_  the fuck is that?”

Tony didn’t even dignify him with a response; just glared at him. 

“Who  _is_ that?” Peter said, looking worried. “Uncle Thor’s already here, and he’s the only one who never knocks”

Tony had stood up, listening. The footsteps approached, and someone entered the room.

“Mumma Carol!” Peter exclaimed, jumping up quickly.

Nat and Clint exchanged a look. “Mumma?”

“Hey, trouble” Carol said, smiling at him.

“You’re back! You didn’t say! Why didn’t you say? I’d’ve got you a present!” Peter said, near enough vibrating with excitement. 

Carol looked at him, head to one side. “Come on, then”

Peter grinned and leapt into her arms. Carol caught him easily, spinning him round while he laughed. 

“Have you been good while I’ve been away?”

“Uh-huh!” Peter grinned up at her fondly. 

“Good to see you again, Cap” Tony said.

“I thought that was my name” Steve said.

Tony rolled his eyes at him, and looked back at Carol. “Peter, let go of her now”

Peter reluctantly did so. Carol addressed the room.

“Good to see you all again”

“Come to lend a hand?” Clint said. 

“Just checking in” Carol said, sitting down on the arm of the sofa and putting an arm round Loki’s shoulders. “Loki”

“Carol” Loki said, and smiled. “It’s nice to see you again”

“What are you staring at her like that for?” Clint said accusingly. “You fancy her or something?”

Loki turned to him. “Yes. What, and you don’t?”

“That shut you up” Nat said, laughing at the look on his face.

“Yeah, shut up, Clint” Peter said, sticking his tongue out at him. “We don’t take jokes from people whose names are one letter away from a vag-”

“PETER!”

Peter flinched a little. Tony glared at him, and at Loki.

“That’s your fault”

Loki, like most of the room, was too busy laughing to take him seriously. 

“It’s not funny!” Tony frowned. “You’re a dreadful influence”

“Oh yes, I know!” Loki said.

“You could at least back me up, here”

“Why? You can’t seriously tell me you don’t find that funny”

“Right, that’s it-!”

Tony pounced at him. Loki was quick, and all too willing to join in. In a matter of moments they were wrestling on the carpet. Wanda leant close to Steve.

“Should we stop them?”

Steve sighed tiredly. “No; they’re always like this”

As usual, Loki won, pining Tony down by his wrists. He leant close, resting his nose against his husbands.

“I win”

“Yeah yeah, ok. Get off me now”

Loki did so, giving him a quick kiss before returning to his seat.

“You’ve got something to discuss, haven’t you?” Tony said to Carol, as though there hadn’t been a break in conversation.

“Yeah, just between the two of us, though”

“What?” Peter said, sitting down on Loki’s lap.

“Never you mind” Tony said. “We’ll wait until the kids in bed. We’re just finishing up here”

Carol nodded. “What have we got?”

“Some weird guy turning teenagers into toddlers” Bruce said. “We’re baffled as to why: we’re just putting a stop to it”

-

The meeting wrapped up relatively quickly after Captain Marvel’s arrival. Peter stayed on Loki’s lap, listening intently to everything Carol had to say. She always came back with such interesting stories - and lollipops.

“You said you’d been a good boy” she said, tapping the boy on the nose with a Juicy Drop Pop. 

“Oh, Carol! I asked you to stop bringing him sweets” Tony sighed. 

“Aww, don’t be such a dad” Peter grumbled, shoving the lolly into his mouth quickly, just in case Tony made a grab for it.

“I’ll continue to be a dad for the foreseeable future, thank you very much” Tony said, checking his watch. “On that note, it’s bedtime, young man”

“What?! No!” Peter grabbed Loki’s wrist, looking at his Rolex. “It’s not even that late!”

“It’s perfectly late enough, chick” Tony said. “Bedtime. Now”

Peter sighed in an exaggerated fashion, flopping back against Loki’s chest. Tony raised an eyebrow at him, which Peter pointedly ignored.

“You’ll need to rest if you’re fighting with us, little boy” Thor said.

“It’s not like we’re doing it tomorrow” Peter pouted. 

“Loki, can you-”

“Hey, don’t worry yourself” Carol said. “I’ll take him. Come on, kid”

Peter whined. “Do I have to?”

“Yeah. I’ve got a whole bunch of other stories to tell you. Secret stuff” She stood up, holding a hand out to him. “Come on”

Peter looked at her, and craned round to Loki. Loki gave him a little squeeze.

“Go on, chick. Say goodnight to everyone and go” he said, giving him a quick kiss. 

Peter sighed, clicked the lolly back into its plastic, and hauled himself up. He went and gave Nat and Wanda a hug, and said goodnight to everyone. Tony caught the boy, tweaking his nose.

“You’re naughty, did you know?” he kissed him hard on the cheek. “Goodnight, kiddo”

“Night dad” 

“You ready, trouble?” Carol said. 

“Just coming, mumma” he said, giving Tony a hug before trotting over to her and letting her guide him out of the room.

Clint let out a low whistle once he was out of the room. “I can’t believe that’s the same kid we let out onto the battlefield”

“He’s a good fighter” Wanda said.

“Yeah, but it’s times like this when you realise he really is just a kid”

-

Carol let Peter ramble on excitedly while he got ready for bed, filling her in on just about everything she’d missed since her last visit. 

“Hey, motormouth” she said eventually. “I’m meant to be taking you to bed, remember?”

“I’m 15: I don’t need to be ‘taken to bed’, yknow” he said, but he flopped down on the bed anyway. “What are you gonna be talking with dad about?”

“Just stuff” Carol said. 

“Is it about me?”

“No, not this time”

Peter sat up, looking at her. “Hey, mumma? Can I talk to you about something?”

“Is it about me?”

Peter smiled, and shook his head, looking away. “No”

Carol stopped, and then sat down on the bed, facing him. 

“That’s not a happy face” she said. “What’s up?”

“…I think there’s something wrong with dad. Can you find out for me when you’re talking to him later?”

“What makes you think something’s wrong?”

“Well… He’s been acting funny. He’s been… Well, he’s been real strict with me lately. He’s been kinda harsh” 

Carol took one look at the tears in his eyes, and reached for his hand.

“Hey, talk to me, baby. Has something happened?”

Peter shrugged. “Kinda”

“Recently?”

Peter nodded. “The other day…” he was quiet for a moment or two. “Y’know he has that thing about me not leaving the house without telling one of them where I’m going first? Well, I went down to the shop on the corner and forgot to tell him first. I was only gone for about ten minutes”

“Ok” this wasn’t something new: Peter was always forgetting when he wasn’t going far. “So what happened when you got home?”

Peter shifted uncomfortably. He looked down at their hands, and kept his gaze focused there. 

“It’s happened before. Me forgetting. But this time… Well… He really shouted at me. He got cross because I hadn’t answered my phone either, but I  _couldn’t_ , because I didn’t take it with me, ‘cos I knew I’d only be a couple of minutes. But he still got angry, and then he hit me. Usually he just gives me a little tap, but it was different this time. He proper put me over his knee and everything, and he hit my legs really hard, and the backs of my knees. It was awful, it really, really hurt-”

“Hey, hey, don’t cry! Oh baby” Carol sighed, pulling him close and hugging him tight. “It’s ok”

“I’m not crying” he said, knuckling his eyes. 

“Sure you’re not. What did daddy say about all of this?”

“He was at the hospital, so he didn’t know”

“Ah, I see”

“Mm… Dad’s been real weird about me going out for a few weeks now, actually. He even stopped me from going out with my friends, and he didn’t give a proper reason; just that whole; ‘because I said so’ stuff. I don’t get it”

Carol rested her chin on top of his head. “Maybe he’s just scared about this guy that’s out targeting teenagers. Maybe he just doesn’t want you getting zapped”

Peter thought for a moment. “But I can look after myself. I wouldn’t let that guy zap me”

“You’re a fierce little fighter, but if you got in front of that ray gun, there’s no going back. One pull of the trigger, and that’s a baby Peter right there”

“Well, that’s not going to happen” Peter said. “And besides, uncle Thor said they’ll find a reversal once they’ve got the original gun… I know it’s weird, and it kinda creeps me out, but why would  _dad_  be scared about it?”

“He’s your dad: he wants to make sure nothing happens to you” she looked down at him. “I know you’ll be fine, but you know what your dad’s like: he’ll worry about anything. Remember the soluble paracetamol incident?”

Peter couldn’t help laughing. “Yeah, he’s a worrier. Daddy said maybe he’s been reading too many parenting books and is trying to show me who’s in charge”

“Well, even if that were true, it’s a load of rubbish: we all know Loki is the real head of this household”

Peter nodded, sitting back. “You’re right about that”

“I know. You know, I wanna hear about your success when you and those Avengers have finished this fight you’ve been so meticulously planning”

“Oh yeah, of course! I’ll tell you everything. Wait, does this mean you’re staying?”

“I’ll stay until you’ve taken down this weird guy and his age-gun” she promised. “I’ve got some stuff to sort out with Mr Mechanic anyway”

Peter giggled, and hugged her again. “We can go out to celebrate afterwards!”

“Sure, sounds good to me” She kissed him on the forehead. “You should probably get some sleep now”

“Aww, ok” Peter sighed. 

Carol stood up, and Peter wriggled under the covers and got himself comfortable. Carol smiled, ruffling his hair.

“Go to sleep. I’ll see if I can be here in the morning” she said. “Goodnight, trouble”

“Goodnight, mumma”

-

Loki had made his escape by the time Carol got back to the living room. Wanda and Steve had taken their leave too. 

“Hey, Tony” she said, leaning against the door frame. “You ready for that chat now?”

Tony stopped what he was doing. “Sure. I’ve got some stuff to ask you”

“Good. I’ve got some questions for you, too”

“Oh dear, that sounds ominous” he raised an eyebrow at Bruce.

“Shall we?”

Tony got up. “Yeah, ok, lets go into the study”

-

Carol leant against the big mahogany desk, folding her arms over her chest.

“You’re scared, aren’t you?”

“…That’s not really what you wanted to talk about”

“It wasn’t. But it is now”

Tony sighed, flopping on the sofa. “What changed?”

“I was talking to Peter. It’s just something he said. He might not be able to read you all the time, but I can”

“So..?”

“I know you’re scared. It’s this guy you’re taking down, isn’t it? You’re scared that Peter’s gonna run into him and get in front of his gun”

Tony looked at her in silence for a moment. “…What did he say?”

“Enough. It’s not hard to figure out. This guy has been around for a few weeks, and in that time, you’ve gone into panicky over-protective dad mode: not letting him go out, harsh punishments, that kind of thing. You know where I’m going with this”

“Ok, so what? He’s my son: I’m allowed to worry about him”

“I didn’t say you weren’t”

Tony bit his thumb, thinking. “I didn’t want him helping with this. I don’t want him in the line of fire. But you know what he’s like; he’d get so upset and offended if I left him out of it”

“No one is going to let anyone hurt him. You’ve got a good team there. Peter will be fine” 

“I know” Tony sighed. “I have been harsh with him, I know that. I’m just upset about a whole bunch of stuff right now. He can be so much like Loki sometimes: so stubborn and headstrong. He knows what he wants and he goes for it. It’s hard to look after him sometimes”

“Well, next time, maybe you should sit down and talk to him about it. You know, instead of smacking him for any little mistake”

Tony looked at her guiltily. “Ah. He told you about that”

“He told me you hurt him and scared him after he forgot to tell you about going to the shop”

“Mm… Whatever, look, this’ll all be over soon, and then everything will be back to normal. It’s just the getting to that point that’s the problem”

“Like you said, it’ll be over soon. Which brings me on to the next thing”

Tony nodded to the seat beside him. “Sit down. I have a feeling it’s going to be a long night”

*


	2. Happy Days

-

Peter was thrilled to be picked up by Loki after school on Friday. 

“Someone’s happy” Loki said, dropping Peter’s helmet on his head and clipping the strap. “We can’t hang about: hop on”

Peter happily climbed onto the back of the motorbike, winding his arms round Loki. He couldn’t help laughing a little as they set off, and not just because of the look on some people’s faces. Tony didn’t approve of Loki’s motorbike, much less the idea of Peter riding it, so this was a rare treat. There was something so good about streaming along so fast in the open air. It felt liberating.

-

Tony wasn’t happy when he heard the door leading to the garage. He marched out to confront Loki, and upon seeing his heavy leather jacket, had his suspicions confirmed.

“I told you to ring Happy!”

“I’m more than capable of picking up my own son” Loki said. “Anyway, it was quicker to just do it myself”

“I don’t like you sticking Peter on the back of that death trap, you know I don’t!” Tony snapped. He looked at Peter. “We need to talk. Scram”

Peter did.

He went into the kitchen, and pleasantly surprised to find it occupied.

“Aunt Nat! Uncle Clint! What are you doing here?!” he exclaimed, bounding over to Nat for a hug.

“Your dad thought it’d work better if everyone stayed here tonight” Nat said. “I think he’s still annoyed about the latecomers to the last mission”

“Ooh yeah, he was furious!” Peter giggled. “Aww, no one told me you were gonna be here! Where are the others?”

“Bruce is down in the lab, I think” 

“Wanda and Steve are out on the balcony” Clint said. “Thor isn’t here yet”

Peter stood back. “Aww, this is so cool!”

“Unlike that little uniform” Clint said, raising an eyebrow. “It’s like something out of a Victorian school telly drama”

Peter just laughed. “I know; isn’t it awful?”

“No, it’s not!” Tony snapped, coming into the kitchen. “It’s a fine uniform, and- hold on, what’s happened to your blazer?!”

“What do you mean?”

“Take your bag off and come over here”

Peter did as he was told. Tony turned him round.

“How the hell have you managed to rip the seam like that?! What have you been doing?!”

“Uuh, it might have happened in drama” Peter said, turning back to face him. “I’m not sure”

Tony sighed irritably. “That bloody class! Why the school won’t enforce a different set of clothes for drama is beyond me!”

“What are you kicking off about now?” Loki asked, appearing in the doorway.

“He’s ruined his blazer”

“Oh come on, it’s hardly  _ruined_. Don’t overreact” Peter said.

Tony smacked him hard. “Don’t you dare take that tone with me, young man!”

Loki came to Peter’s aid, taking the boys blazer off and having a proper look.

“I can fix that in five minutes. Don’t worry about it” he said.

Tony scowled, and huffed. “Take your bag and then go and get changed, kid. You know the rules”

Once Peter was out of earshot, Loki smacked Tony over the head with a newspaper.

“Hey!”

“Hey yourself” Loki said. “You didn’t have to get that angry over it. You really were overreacting. Just like you overreacted about the motorbike”

“Oh, go away, Loki. Don’t you have some sewing to do?”

Loki looked at him. He grabbed hold of him, kissing him long and hard on the cheek, just to annoy him.

“Fuck off, Loki! Let go of me!”

Loki continued a moment longer, and then abruptly released him. “I love you too”

And with that, he grabbed Peter’s torn blazer and swept out of the room. Tony grumbled to himself, scrubbing his cheek with the back of his hand.

“What are you staring at?”

“Well” Nat said. “You do put on quite a show”

“Just wait till you’re married with kids, Natasha. You’ll understand it better then”

“He’s right” Clint said. “Being married just means that you can’t run away as easily when they start pissing you off”

Tony made eye contact with him, and they nodded their spousal solidarity. It was good to have someone who understood.

-

Peter got changed as quickly as he could, anxious to spend as much time with the Avengers as possible. He made sure everything was tidy so Tony wouldn’t have anything to gripe about, and then hurried back to the kitchen. It was fuller than before.

“Uncle Thor!” he jumped at the god.

“Hey, little one” Thor smiled, hugging him tight. “Ready for tomorrow?”

“Yep!” Peter said.

“Hi again, Peter” Wanda said.

“Hi! Hey, Uncle Steve!”

“Hey, Peter”

There was a knocking sound in the doorway, and Peter turned round.

“Mumma!!” 

“Hey, baby”

Peter ran over to hug her. “What are you doing here?!”

“What, I can’t pay my favourite spider-boy a visit on a whim? I said I’d stay till after the mission”

Peter grinned up at her. “Good! Hey, are you helping out tomorrow?”

“I’ve got places to be in the morning. I’ll be back afterwards so you can tell me all about your triumph”

“Ok! You’re gonna be here for the evening though, right? Hey, can you stay over? Hey daddy, mumma can stay over, right?”

Loki sucked his breath. “I’d ask other dad if I were you”

Tony felt all eyes turn to him, and sighed. “What? Don’t turn me into a villain. Of course she can stay. If she wants”

“Sure, but I’ll be gone early”

“That’s fine” Tony said. “Peter, you’re getting overexcited”

“Well, duh! We’re having a full team evening! It’s been  _ages_ since we’ve all been together like this!”

“You’ve exerted more energy in the half hour since you got back from school than you have in the last month. Go and take a nap”

Peter laughed at first, but then he saw the look on Tony’s face.

“You’re kidding, right?”

“No” Tony said. “Go to your room while the grown-ups talk”

“Hey, that’s well out of order!” Peter said. “I’m just as much a part of this team and mission as everyone else!”

“We’ll fill you in later. You’re overtired and overexcited: nap time”

“Well” Loki said before Peter could protest further. “If Peter’s excused, I am too”

“Oh good; you can put him down for his nap then, since you’re going that way” Tony said.

“Aww, come on! This is so unfair!”

“Stop arguing and do as you’re damn well told!”

Peter pouted. Loki laughed, going over and putting an arm round the boys shoulders.

“A little lie down will do you good. Come along”

Peter did, but they could all hear him grumbling halfway down the hall. Carol shook her head fondly.

“He’s a funny kid”

“He’s a little bugger, is what he is” Tony said. “I’m half tempted to cut him out of this whole to-do with kindsprengen altogether”

“Yeah, that’s not a great idea” Nat said. “He’s right in saying he’s a part of the team just like the rest of us”

“He’s a good kid, and he knows what he’s doing” Steve said. “Let him get the excitement out of his system tonight, by all means. But don’t pull him from the mission. He’s needed, and that aside, he’d never forgive you if you did”

-

Peter wasn’t very happy about being sent to bed like a sulky little kid, but knowing Loki was having a nap in the next room made him feel a little better about the situation. He cuddled up under the covers and closed his eyes. Despite his excitement, he soon calmed and settled down, feeling happy enough, and a little fuzzy to boot. 

-

Peter woke up at around half six. He took his time stretching and adjusting, still feeling all fuzzy and soft. He felt better for the little sleep, and quite happily climbed out of bed and went wandering off to find everyone.

Everyone had moved into the second living room, most of them lounging on the sofas in light conversation, with Bruce sat at the little desk and Tony sat  _on_ the little desk, having their own conversation. Loki was back with the group, curled up on the love seat with Carol beside him, her legs over his. 

“Hey, I’ve just had a thought” Peter said, flopping down beside Wanda. “Since we’re all here, and there’s a lot to cater for, you know what that means? Takeaway night!”

“Absolutely not” Tony said. “We need to look after ourselves ahead of tomorrow. I’ll make us all something good and healthy”

Peter stared at him, not quite sure if he was joking or not. He cleared his throat and started chanting, slapping his knees to the beat.

“Do-mi-no’s, do-mi-no’s, do-mi-no’s, do-mi-no’s”

Wanda copied him, and Peter grinned at her. It was only a few more seconds before Nat and Clint joined in, and Thor. 

“DO-MI-NO’S, DO-MI-NO’S, DO-MI-NO’S, DO-MI-NO’S, DO-MI-NO’S, DO-MI-NO’S, DO-MI-NO’S-”

Even Carol and Loki joined in. Tony, Steve, and Bruce looked at each other.

“I’ll cook a good breakfast in the morning” Steve said. 

Tony sighed. “Pizza alright with you two?”

“Fine by me” Bruce said, and Steve nodded.

Tony sighed again, and glared at Peter. “Ok, ok! Stop shouting and we’ll order a Domino’s”

“Yes!” Peter crowed triumphantly, high-fiving Wanda. “I love Domino’s!”

Loki donated his tablet to the cause, and Peter sat on the coffee table in the middle of the room (ignoring Tony’s protests), and took suggestions from everyone else on what they should order.

“Wait, sorry to interrupt” Steve said. “But how are we going to split the bill?”

“We’re not” Peter said. “I’ll pay for it. I’ve got quite a lot in my bank account”

“What?! No, absolutely not!” Tony said firmly. “You’re not using your pocket money for a massive takeaway order.  _I’ll_ pay for it. No arguing”

Everyone was more than happy with that offer. 

“Wait wait wait, how many of us are there?” Peter said after a while. “Let me count. Ok, so, dads times two, uncles Thor, Clint, Steve, and Bruce. Mumma, aunties Wanda and Nat… So, nine of us, right?”

“What about yourself?” Carol said.

“Oh yeah. Ok, so ten. How many cookies do we want, then? It’s a box of four. Ten boxes, then we all get four each?”

Loki laughed at him. “Your eyes are bigger than your belly, young man. After a full pizza meal, I don’t think anyone would manage four”

“Daddy’s right, chick” Tony said. “If you’re getting cookies, go for five boxes. Two each is fine”

Peter nodded, adding five boxes to the order and scrolling through the basket. 

“Ok, so we’ve got all those pizzas, and the cookies. Do we want anything else?”

“We’ve got loads of drink here, so don’t go ordering any bottles” Loki said.

“Yep yep, ok. What about sides? We could get garlic bread or chicken strippers or-”

“We don’t need sides” Wanda said. “We have more than enough just with the pizzas”

Peter nodded, and surveyed the room. “Any objections? No? Ok. Dad, your turn”

He clicked the checkout button and held the tablet out. Tony stood up and took it from him. 

“This is a ridiculous order” he said. “You’re all ridiculous. We could’ve had a pasta bake”

Peter laughed at him, so Tony pushed him off the coffee table. 

“It’s a good job I love you, you know that?”

Peter just grinned. Amazing what an annoying chant could achieve.

- 

Peter started getting a little irritable while they were waiting, as did a couple of the others. Their spirits all lifted once the food arrived, and having a good meal did wonders for morale. Steve took the lead in getting everyone organised, laying the pizzas out and dishing out plates and bottles of pop and making sure everyone got fed. Tony turned up the stereo a little and everyone was more than happy to lounge about eating and talking together. 

“Oh my god, this is so good” Peter said after his first bite of pizza. “I swear I always forget just how good Domino’s is”

“It’s never a disappointment, I’ll agree with you there” Loki said, pleased that Peter had chosen his favourite takeaway.

“We’ve got enough here to feed an army” Bruce said.

“Hey, we  _are_ an army” Clint said. “We deserve this”

“I’ll second that” Nat said, raising a glass.

“You know, I think this is the first time I’ve had a Domino’s” Carol said.

“What?! Aww mumma, you’ve been missing out! It’s honestly like, the best pizza going”

“It is pretty good, I’ll give you that” she said. “It was a good choice”

Peter laughed happily. “We should all have another big takeaway to celebrate tomorrow!”

“We’re all coming back here afterwards anyway” Steve said. “We could definitely have a meal. Tony?”

“Hm. I’ll think about it” Tony said. “Depends how quickly we get things wrapped up. I might just want to sleep afterwards”

“Oh, well I’m definitely on board with  _that_ idea” Loki said. “Still, we’ll probably all be exhausted afterwards. Communal lunch may be a good idea”

“Maybe I’ll cook something. I think one enormous takeaway order is enough for one weekend”

“Huh. Hey, uncle Steve? Did you say you’re cooking a big breakfast in the morning?” Peter asked.

“I said I’d cook a  _good_ breakfast. It’s not a good idea to have too big a breakfast before a fight: you don’t want to get indigestion”

“Ok, ok. Well, I’ll look forward to it anyway!”

-

Tony went into dad mode and insisted everyone go to bed at a reasonable time. Peter protested the most, of course, but he didn’t protest too much after Carol starting talking reason with him. 

Tony felt like a school teacher on a residential, assigning rooms and telling everyone where they’d be sleeping. Nat and Wanda were put in the twin room, with Clint, Steve, and Thor in the triple. Bruce and Carol were both given their own rooms. 

“I’ve set up the back room futon as well though, just in case anyone gets the urge to murder one of their room mates in the middle of the night” Tony said. 

Everyone managed to settle fairly quickly, and Tony enjoyed the sudden quiet. He shut everything down and locked up. He checked on Peter (Carol was still with him, so he left them to it), and then went and climbed into bed with Loki, who was already asleep. He settled down happily enough, looking up at the ceiling, thinking. This whole kindsprengen thing really put him on edge. Still, they knew where it was going to be in the morning, and they could put a stop to this whole scary-weirdness. Tony couldn’t wait for it to be over. A few hours, tops, and then he could relax and get back to normal. Maybe he’d do something on Sunday to unwind a bit. Maybe he’d take Peter to play mini golf. Or go go-karting. Yeah, go-karting sounded like a good option. Lovely. One little battle on Saturday morning, and go-karting on Sunday. Maybe he could grab Loki in the evening and go out for a drink somewhere nice. Yeah. That sounded like a good idea. In fact, that sounded perfect.

*


	3. A Rifle In Your Hand

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is dedicated to theallpowerful one on tumblr, who is a long-time reader who replies a comment to pretty much every fanfic chapter I post over there.
> 
> I've been looking forward to writing this chapter for weeks, if not months. Hope you enjoy (although sorry, fight scenes aren't really my forte!)

-

Peter woke up naturally, feeling refreshed, which was a surprise for him. It was still fairly early, so he spent a while lounging in bed, daydreaming and thinking about what they’d all get up to in the afternoon, once Kindsprengen was a thing of the past. There was a click, and the bedroom door cracked open.

“Oh, you’re awake” Carol said, coming over to him.

“Yeah, but only just”

Carol sat on the edge of the bed, stroking the boys hair gently.

“I’ll be back by the time you’ve finished up with the Avengers” she promised. 

“Are you sure you can’t help?” 

“I’ve got things to sort out this morning. You’re perfectly capable without me. Besides, I’m not in the plan” she kissed him gently on the forehead. “Good luck. You’ll do great. I love you, baby”

“I love you too, mumma” Peter said, giving her a hug. “See you later”

“See you later, baby. I can’t wait to hear about your victory”

-

Half an hour later, Peter realised he could hear people walking about, people talking in the distance, and the whirring sounds of the showers and cisterns. It was obvious he was no longer the only one awake. Peter climbed out of bed, threw a blanket round his shoulders, and went off to the kitchen.

-

Steve was cooking at the stove, and Banner was stood leaning against the counter beside him, talking. Clint and Thor were drinking coffee at the breakfast bar.

“Morning, everyone!” Peter said brightly. 

“Morning, Peter”

“How are you so full of energy?” Clint said.

“I slept well” Peter said simply. “Anyone need a drink while I’m making one?”

“I think we’re all set” Banner said, raising his own mug.

Peter nodded, humming to himself as he filled the kettle and stuck it back on its stand, leaving it to boil while he got out a mug and went over to the drinks cupboard.

“I hope you’re not nicking the instant coffee” Tony said, coming into the kitchen, hair still wet from his shower. 

“Nope, of course not!” Peter said, taking his hand off the Nescafe and grabbing his own box of chai tea.

Tony poured himself a mug of coffee from the machine, and went to look over Steve’s shoulder.

“Army rations, is it?”

Steve shot him a look. “Just because I’m not doing anything too heavy, doesn’t mean I’m giving us the bare minimum”

“Uncle Steve does the best breakfast food” Peter said, pouring water into his mug. 

“Rude” Tony said, pretending to clock him over the head.

“My word, it’s not even 8am and you’re already smacking my boy about” 

Tony stuck his tongue out at Loki. “Ha ha, very funny”

“Morning, Loki” Bruce said.

“Morning” Loki said, putting an arm round Peter and giving him a quick kiss. “Is that drink for me?”

“Uhh. No, but I’ll make you once” Peter said. “What kind of tea do you want?”

“Surprise me”

Loki let Peter get on, and went and looked over Steve’s shoulder. 

“What are you cooking?”

“Ham and poached eggs on English muffins” Steve said. 

“Ooh, good option”

“Thanks. I’m glad you’re more agreeable than your husband”

Loki just laughed, shaking his head and going to annoy Tony for a bit.

“Um, should we be waking the girls?” Bruce said. “We wanted to be punctual today”

“Mumma’s gone already” Peter said. 

“Yeah, and the other two are already up” Clint said. “Nat was having a shower, and she said Wanda was awake. They’ll be through when they’re ready”

-

Peter was anxious and restless with anticipation while everyone finished getting ready. Steve gave him his shield to occupy him, and he spent a while looking at it and practising holding and using it. He got a little more ambitious, swinging it about and acting out, until Tony grabbed it from him and told him if he even thought about frisbeeing it, there’d be trouble.

But then everyone was ready, suited and booted, and assembled into the front line team and the sub team. Surveillance confirmed it was time to move, and that was it: they were off.

-

Loki couldn’t help being vaguely impressed by the army Kindsprengen arrived with. His original thought; that it was only a handful of people, had quickly been proved wrong. At least it made things interesting. But it also made things harder. They were fast, and vicious. They could hold their own, and it was maximum effort for a long time there, with everyone going full-pelt. 

The opposition may have been fast, but the Avengers were stronger, and they worked in a better formation. They knew exactly what they were doing, and, unlike Kindsprengen’s army, they had a plan. The enemy was falling, and it was only a matter of time before Kindsprengen was the only one left standing.

-

Crucial times were closing in, but Loki and Tony had landed on the same ledge, and they couldn’t help having non-battle-related conversations while they overlooked the makeshift battleground and kept an eye on how things were setting themselves up for the final battle.

“I still think it’s a bad idea” Tony said. “I think, nice, home-cooked meal. Salad. Get the Twisters out of the freezer or something. Perfect way to wind down after a mission, don’t you think?”

“Well, I’m all for it, as long as I don’t have to put in the effort” Loki said.

Tony laughed. “You can just pass out a few bottles of drink and then doss it for the rest of the day; just sleep or read or something. Carol’s gonna be back later so the kid’ll be occupied telling his battle tales and stuff”

“Very true. He loves that woman”

“So do you”

“And you”

“I don’t suppose you’re considering running off into the starlight together?” Tony teased.

“Don’t be an idiot”

“Can you two leave your domestic talk till later?!” Steve shouted. “We’re a bit busy here!”

Peter’s voice came through the headset. “I’ve got visual. I can take him out”

“Kid, no” Tony snapped. “Follow the plan!”

“I’m moving in”

“Wait, don’t-!”

Peter did. There was nothing at all stopping him from taking Kindsprengen down. He was undetected, and it wouldn’t take long. The criminal and that creepy ray gun were in sight. It would just be the work of a moment.

-

“Sub team have got the gun!” Natasha shouted. “Last men are down. We’ve got Kindsprengen immobilised”

“Right, protect the gun, protect the kid” Tony said. “Cap, Thor, you ok to finish off?”

“Roger that” 

“Ok. Everyone else, let’s go home”

-

It all seemed to have happened so fast. 

“That was scarily simple” Natasha said, flopping down at the breakfast bar. “Makes you wonder what everyone was so afraid of”

“It’s the gun that’s scary; not the person. Not so much” Peter said, carefully setting the ray gun down on the table. He shuddered. “I’m glad it’s over”

“You did well, kid” Bruce said. “This was just a minor thing: we don’t need to think about it anymore. Thor’ll find a reversal, and then everything’ll be back to normal”

“Good” Clint yawned. “Damn, that might’ve only been a couple of hours, but it’s still knackered me out”

“Well, it was pretty hectic” Bruce said. “It’s kinda nice just having a quick take-down though”

“Peter definitely shortened it for us” Nat said. “We might still be out there if you hadn’t jumped in”

Peter grinned. “I couldn’t just stand by and do nothing. He was right there! He was so oblivious”

“You did good. Let me see to your head” Bruce said. “Does it hurt?”

“Not really. It’s just a few scratches” Peter said, sitting down obediently.

Bruce carefully cleaned the cut on his forehead and the grazes on his chin. 

“You’ve escaped lightly. We all did. I’m just gonna stick a steri-strip on your forehead” he said, doing so. “There. Are you hurt anywhere else?”

“No, I don’t think so. Just a little knocked around, but nothing else. Thanks, uncle Bruce” Peter smiled, jumping off his seat.

“No worries. Gotta keep the team mended. It’s kind of my job” 

Tony came storming into the kitchen, and he didn’t look at all happy.

“What’s up, boss?” Nat said.

“Why are you lot still in your battle gear?” he demanded. “Don’t you think you should go and get changed?”

“We’ve only been back five minutes” Peter said.

Tony glared, and marched over to him. Peter stood his ground, although his heart had started to thump. 

“You and me need to have a little chat, don’t you think?” he said. “You deliberately disobeyed me”

“What?! No I didn’t!”

“Yes, you did! You  _knew_ the plan. I told you to hold off, and you went in anyway! How dare you?!”

“Hey, we won today!  _I_ was the one who got the gun,  _and_  I kept Kindsprengen down until the others could get to me and help” Peter said, furious to have their victory completely overlooked. “So what if I stepped out? I would’ve been an idiot not to! If it weren’t for me, we could still be out there! I did ok, you know I did!”

“That’s completely besides the point!” Tony exploded, and smacked him hard on the bottom. 

It hurt a lot, but even then, in ordinary circumstances, Peter would’ve have cried. But, with so many pairs of eyes watching him, he couldn’t help it: he burst into tears and buried his face in his hands. 

“Hey, there’s no need for that!” Nat said, coming to Peter’s rescue and hugging him close. “Shh, it’s ok”

Peter just cried into her chest. It was so unfair. He’d done well today - hadn’t he? Well, that’s what everyone else had said. So why didn’t his dad agree?

“You’re just crying for attention” Tony snapped. “Nat, let go of him: he did wrong, you know he did”

“He stepped out for the sake of the mission” Nat said, still holding Peter tight and rubbing his back firmly. “It cancels out”

“He still disobeyed me” Tony growled. “I can’t ignore that”

“Ah” A voice sounded in the doorway. “Did something go wrong, then?”

Tony looked at Carol. “You don’t need to get involved here”

He tugged Peter away from Nat.

“Ow! Let go of me!” Peter cried, trying to push him away. “I didn’t do anything wrong! I didn’t!”

“You need to calm down! And you need to get changed” Tony hissed. “Now, you come with me, and we’ll continue this little chat in your room”

Carol and the others were wise enough not to follow. They all exchanged a look once Tony had led Peter away.

“I’m glad he’s not my dad, I’ll say that much” Wanda said.

“He’s just scared” Bruce said in Tony’s defence. “You know how he gets about his family”

“It’s not really our place to question it” Clint said. “Peter’s his kid”

“Isn’t Loki back yet?” Carol asked.

“He’s in his room” Bruce said. “He got a bit cut up and he generally tends to himself and has a bath after this kinda thing. You know he hates being roped in”

Carol shook her head and sighed. “Better just to leave Tony to have his dad-panic, I guess”

Nat nodded, and looked at Clint. Clint just shrugged, and picked up his mug. He wasn’t getting involved.

-

Tony took Peter to his room, slammed the door behind him, pulled the Spiderman suit off the boy, and gave him a proper spanking. Peter was absolutely beside himself. He cried and cried, and when Tony released him and tried to hug him, he pushed him hard, feeling horribly betrayed.

“No! Don’t touch me! I don’t want you touching me!”

“Peter, come on; don’t be silly” Tony said, pulling him close anyway. “Hey, stop it! You need to try to see things from my point of view. Do you have any idea how much danger you put yourself in today? We told you to stay out of the line of fire, that was a huge part of the plan, and what do you do? You go directly against the plan, against  _me_ , and by doing so, you put yourself in danger. Have you any idea how scared I was?!”

“I don’t care! I took him down, I took him  _down_!” he pulled away, standing up. “This isn’t fair!”

“Darling, please” Tony said, standing up too. “You scared me, sweetheart! What if you’d been hit, hey? What if you’d ended up with more than just that little nick on your forehead? I’m your dad; it’s my job to protect you!”

“I don’t need protecting!” Peter cried. “I don’t  _care_ how scared you were! It’s no excuse for getting so cross when I didn’t do anything wrong! You hurt me! You  _hit_ me!”

“I smacked you, like any good parent would” Tony said. “You disob-”

“It’s still not fair! You’ve been so harsh recently, and it’s not fair!” Peter sobbed, hiding his face in his hands. “It hurts-!”

The door burst open.

“What the hell is going on in here?” Loki demanded, shutting the door behind him.

Peter launched himself into Loki’s arms, burying his face in his chest. 

“Hey, hey, what’s the matter? Are you hurt?” Loki asked worriedly, holding him carefully and looking at Tony for answers.

“He’s just upset” Tony said. 

“He got cross at me for no reason again!” Peter cried. “I’m sick of it! If I’d done something wrong, I wouldn’t mind so much, but I didn’t! I haven’t done anything wrong!”

“Yes, you have!” Tony insisted. “You can’t upset us like that! Putting yourself in harms way, going against orders… How are we supposed to be a proper team if we can’t trust you? I’m just trying to do what’s best for you. I’m your dad!”

“Well I wish you weren’t!” Peter shouted. “I wish you’d never adopted me in the first place!”

“Hey, hey, Peter, that’s an awful thing to say” Loki said, holding the boy at arms length. “Apologise”

“I can’t! I can’t, I’m upset and he needs to know! He needs to  _know_!”

Loki sighed and hugged him again. “Tony, I thought we talked about this”

“I just-”

“Tony, why don’t you give us a minute? It’s ok” 

Tony admitted defeat and left them to it. Loki sat Peter down on the bed and dried his eyes with his sleeve.

“There now. Shh. What’s going on?”

“I know he’s scared” Peter sniffled. “I know he’s just scared, but ever since Kindsprengen appeared, he’s been all overprotective and horrible. He’s cross about today”

Loki sighed. “I know, chick. He was terrified. You went in, and yes, you did well… But for me and dad? Well, even with your face hidden in your little suit, we still see our little boy. And we see that creature gunning for you, and we do go all paternal and we do worry”

“But you didn’t start shouting and hitting me” Peter said, scrubbing his face with the back of his hand.

“I know. But I went straight to my room when I got back. Look. I don’t agree with how harsh your father’s been with you lately. But I do understand” Loki took Peter’s hands in his. “You know how stressed he’s been lately. All these things going on at work, and that story in the press, and then this new threat which, above all, posed a threat to you? It just all got on top of him. He hasn’t handled things anywhere near as well as he should, we both know that. But we also both know there’s things that have triggered this”

“He’s been so tough on me. He really hurt me. Emotionally, you know?”

“I know” Loki hugged him close. “Shh. You’re ok. I’ve got you”

Peter cuddled into him, focusing on his breathing. They were quiet for a little while, and Peter thought about everything, and started to feel a little bit better.

“I didn’t mean it, you know” he said. “I don’t wish he wasn’t my dad. I don’t wish he didn’t adopt me”

“I know, sweetheart. You were just upset” Loki said, kissing him on the cheek. “Now, darling. Can I make a suggestion?”

“…Ok?”

“Go and have a quick shower, take a breather, get dressed into something comfy, and then come and join everyone. You’ll feel better once you’ve had a bit of alone time”

Peter nodded, and slowly slipped off Loki’s lap. He knew he was right.

-

Peter felt much better after having a bit of time to himself. Once he was washed and dressed, he went to join the others. He found them all in the living room, the de-aging ray gun on the coffee table in the middle. They all looked up when he came into the room. Peter looked at Tony. Everyone else looked between them.

“I’m sorry, darling” Tony said. “I’m so sorry”

Tears filled Peter’s eyes. “I’m sorry too!”

Tony held an arm out, and Peter went and crawled onto his lap. Tony held him tight, burying his face in his shoulder, and Peter cuddled against his chest.

“I didn’t mean what I said” Peter whimpered. “I’m glad you’re my dad, I’m glad you adopted me, I really am”

“I know, darling, I know” Tony kissed him hard on the cheek. “I’m sorry for smacking you. It wasn’t fair, I shouldn’t’ve done it, no matter how scared I was. I’m sorry”

“Thank you… I love you, dad!”

“I love you too”

-

Peter stayed cuddled close against Tony’s side while they all had something of a debrief and started talking about what the next step was concerning the ray gun.

“I don’t see what good we could do in the lab here” Bruce said. “Analysing it won’t give us a cure”

“It’s better if I take it straight to Asgard” Thor concluded. “We’ll find a way to reverse it”

“Thank God there weren’t too many casualties” Steve said. “How long will it take to find a cure?”

“I can’t say” Thor said. “Weeks. Maybe even months. I don’t know where these people and their weapon originated. There’s no way to tell how long developing the antidote will take”

“So it’s a waiting game” Steve said. “I suppose there’s a solace”

“What do you mean?” Peter asked.

“Well, the people who were hit by that thing weren’t hurt. Having a teenager turned into a kid is infinitely a better deal than having them in hospital - or worse”

“Morbid” Natasha said. “It’s just weird. There doesn’t seem to be a point to it”

“Perhaps it was boredom” Loki suggested. 

“It’s definitely not the weirdest thing out there” Carol said. “Still, I bet those parents will be relieved to give their kids their teenage lives back. It’ll be strange having a toddler again after watching them grow up”

“Indeed” Thor said. “But Rogers is right; it’s not the worst thing that can happen. We on Asgard will try to perfect a reversal quickly. But at least the victims of that gun are safe. No one else is going to get hit”

They all looked at the purple ray gun on the coffee table.

“It just looks like its made of plastic” Peter said, slipping off Tony’s lap and going over to the coffee table. “It looks like something out of a bad sci-fi film”

“Funny to think of the impact it had” Loki said. “What a strange tool”

“We come across a lot of strange things” Wanda said. “I won’t miss this one”

“Yeah, me neither” Peter said. “Time to get back to normal”

“Yeah, panic over” Clint said.

Peter picked up the gun. It was surprisingly heavy, considering its cheap, plasticy look. He turned it this way and that, and paused, looking down the barrel.

“Peter, put that down!” Tony snapped.

The sudden harsh voice made him jump, and the gun slipped from his hands. There was a collective gasp, and he caught it - but as he did, he grabbed the hand grip, his fingers closing on the inside - around the trigger.

There was a blinding flash, and everyone shielded their eyes, reeling a little from the shock. The fog cleared, and they all quickly turned to look.

There, by the coffee table where Peter had stood, was a tiny child, with big brown eyes and fluffy brown curls, and the ray gun in front of it on the carpet.

*


	4. Baby

-

For a moment all anyone could do was stare. Thor was the first to move, wisely taking the ray gun and moving it out of reach. The little boy looked up at him, and then looked round the room. His little eyebrows furrowed, but he stayed quiet, and sat where he was.

“…Fuck” Clint breathed. “Oh. My. Fucking-” 

“Maybe that language isn’t best in front of a toddler” Steve said hurriedly.

“Oh my god. Oh my GOD. This is all my fault” Tony said, his eyes fixed on the little boy. “Oh my god. Oh my god”

He couldn’t move. He felt sick. This couldn’t be real; it couldn’t be happening. This was just some cruel trick of the eye. Maybe he’d fallen asleep, maybe-

“He’s cute” Wanda said, kneeling down in front of the toddler. “Hello, little one”

Peter smiled, pushing himself to his feet and falling into her arms. Wanda held him carefully.

“Wow, this is not what I expected” she looked at Tony, and then at Loki. “Loki?”

Loki took a deep breath. “I.. I have no idea what just happened”

“Fuck.  _Fuck_ ” Tony said. “I can’t look after a toddler! Oh my god, this can’t be happening. This can’t be happening, this can’t be happening, this can’t-”

“Tony, breathe” Loki said. “We need to breathe. We just need to breathe, and figure this out”

“What the fuck is there to figure out?!”

“Hey, you can’t keep shouting and swearing in front of him” Carol said firmly. 

“My son has just- he’s just… Oh my god”

Peter wriggled out of Wanda’s arms and tottered over to Tony, holding his arms up to him. Tony just stared down at him, trying to keep his breathing level. This wasn’t real. There was no way this could be real.

“Uh, Tony” Loki said. “He wants a hug”

Tony looked at him, and at the little boy, and back to him. He shook his head.

“…I can’t”

“Tony, y-”

“Daddy!” the toddler spoke, stretching his arms up as much as he could. “ _Daddy_!”

Tony barely blinked, just kept staring. This wasn’t real. Oh god, but it was. Those horrible news stories he’d feared so much were more than just Things That Happened To Other People: it was his reality now. His son was a toddler. And he had a voice.

“Tony!” Loki persisted. “You can’t just ignore him!”

Tony didn’t say anything, and Peter’s eyes filled with tears. Loki couldn’t stand it, and he shifted over and picked the little boy up himself, holding him close.

“Shh, don’t cry” he said gently. “I’ve got you”

The toddler hesitated for a moment, but quickly settled and cuddled into his dad. Loki looked at Tony, who was staring at him as though he was holding a bomb.

“What?”

“You’re shaking” Tony said dumbly. 

“I’m scared” Loki said. “I don’t know what to do”

“Hey, if all the other parents can do it, nothing’s gonna stop you” Carol said, sitting down beside Loki and carefully taking Peter from him. “Hey, baby. Why don’t you go over to Uncle Bruce? He’s just gonna have a little look at you, ok?”

“Ok, mumma” little Peter nodded.

Carol put him down, and he toddled off obediently to Bruce. Carol took Loki’s hand, and looked at him and Tony hard.

“You’re going to have to do this whether you like it or not” she said. “I know it’s weird and scary and-”

“Don’t try to preach to us!” Tony snapped. “My son just got blasted by that bloody ray gun! Why did you let him touch it, hey? All of you, why-”

“Hey, you didn’t exactly snatch it off him either” Nat said. “He dropped it, and he grabbed the wrong bit when he caught it. It. Was. An. Accident”

“I knew we shouldn’t’ve let him get involved! This never would’ve happened if we’d just-”

“Tony, are you listening to yourself?” Loki interrupted. “I’m scared too. All of us are just as shocked as you are. None of us can comprehend this either”

“All of you need to stop shouting” Bruce said, sat on the floor with little Peter on his knee. “You’re scaring him”

The room went quiet, no one daring to make eye contact with each other. They all watched Bruce, who was speaking quietly to the toddler, looking him over and tickling his tummy to make him laugh.

“How old is he?” Steve asked, breaking the silence.

“All the others were three, right?” Carol said.

“Yes, but he looks kinda small, don’t you think?” Steve said.

“He’s not  _that_ small” Carol said.

Bruce nodded. “How old are you, Peter?”

Peter looked at him, and held up his thumb and two fingers. “This old!”

“There we are” Bruce said, nodding. “He’s three”

“Is he.. is he ok?” Loki asked, his voice still shaking.

“He’s fine” Bruce said. “Even those cuts from today have gone. He seems healthy enough. I’d still do what everyone else was advised to do and take him to your GP for a full check-up”

“Don’t talk about it like it’s permanent” Tony said.

“Tony, be realistic” Bruce said, ruffling Peter’s hair and letting him go. “Thor, you don’t know how long the reversal is gonna take, right?”

“None. I can only promise we’ll do our best. I’m sorry, I need to go” he said, looking down at the ray gun in his hand. “This needs to leave Earth. I need to take it to Asgard”

No one had any objections. Thor left, and Peter watched him go. He looked at everyone. They were all talking, but he didn’t understand what they were all talking about. So he ignored them, and instead went to tackle a Very Real Problem. He toddled back over to Tony, and tugged on his trouser leg.

“I’m hungry” he said.

Tony just looked at him. Peter pouted.

“Daddy, I’m  _hungry_!”

“Well what am  _I_ supposed to do about it?”

“Tony!” Loki snapped. “You can’t speak to him like that! Go and get him something to eat”

“Well  _I_ don’t know what to feed him, do I?”

“How can you not know what to feed him? It’s not rocket science” Loki scowled.

Tony didn’t make any effort to move, and Loki growled in annoyance.

“Oh for the love of god! Fine,  _I’ll_ go and make him something, if you’re going to be so useless” he snapped, getting up.

“What are you having a go at me for?! I’ve never looked after a toddler before”

“I thought you were supposed to be a genius?” Loki said, taking Tony’s chin in his hand and tilting his head, pretending to peer into his ear. “Ah, just as I thought: no common sense whatsoever”

“Oh, piss off, Loki”

“Fine, I’ll go and grab our son something to eat, and while I’m in the kitchen,  _you_ ” he picked Peter up. “Can give this a cuddle”

“No, wait, I don’t want him!” 

“You can’t say that!” the room chorused, fixing him with a stony glare.

Loki put Peter into Tony’s arms, and Tony couldn’t exactly push him away. Loki went out to the kitchen, and Tony grabbed Peter under the arms, and held him at arms length.

“Uuhh… Right. Marvel?” he stood up and put the toddler down on Carol’s lap. 

Carol sighed, but hugged the boy close. “You won’t be able to pass him off on other people all the time”

“Tony, for gods sake” Bruce sighed. “He’s your kid”

Tony sat back down, and stayed quiet.

-

Loki wasn’t too happy to find Peter on Carol’s lap instead of Tony’s. He put the plate down on the arm of the sofa and took the little boy from Carol. He glared at Tony. Tony pretended not to notice.

“Right, lets get you fed, little boy” Loki said, settling Peter down on the sofa and putting the plate on his lap. “There you are. Here, I’ll just put the straw in your juice. There you are”

Peter happily settled down to eat. Loki made sure he was ok, went over to Bruce, snatched his newspaper, and returned to smack Tony over the head with it.

“Ow! Hey, what are you playing at?!”

“You really couldn’t hold him for five minutes?”

“Oh, shut up, Loki: everyone else has spent the last five minutes having a go at me; I don’t need you doing it too”

“What’s gotten into you?”

“Oh, I’m sorry, am I the only one who’s seeing what’s going on here?” Tony snapped. “Our son just got turned into a toddler. Literally like, twenty minutes ago. Am I not allowed to freak out?”

“We’re  _all_ freaking out” Clint said. “But we’re not ignoring the kid because of it”

“It’s not Peter’s fault” Loki said. “It was an accident. He grabbed the wrong bit of the gun”

“Don’t you think I know that?! I was the one who made him jump!” Tony shouted.

“Hey, you’re scaring him” Steve said. “Be quiet, or talk civilly”

“He’s just a baby” Wanda said.

“That’s exactly the problem! I didn’t adopt a baby, or a toddler: I adopted a teenager!”

Loki looked at him. “When we adopted Peter, we committed to looking after him no matter what”

“Uh, ‘no matter what’ didn’t include the possibility of him suddenly becoming a toddler. I don’t know how to look after a toddler!”

“Oh, and I do?”

“Loki, don’t you work with kids at the hospital?” Steve said.

“Mothers and babies, mainly” Loki said. 

“What about your sabbatical?” Steve said. “That childrens’ home?”

“That was mainly older kids. There was only two toddlers there, twins, and were very attached to one of the other care workers. I’ve not worked with toddlers properly, and not at all for a long time” Loki sighed.

“You two were thinking about IVF again though, right?” Clint said. “Didn’t you read anything?”

“Can we not talk about the clinic, please?” Tony said. “…I glanced at some baby stuff, that’s all”

Clint looked at Loki. “What about you?”

“I’ve read a lot of stuff. I have a lot of ideas. But I’ve never put it into practice”

He was suddenly distracted by Peter, who had just squeezed his drinks carton and ended up spurting apple juice all over his face and neck.

“Oh dear, that was a bit silly” Loki said, whipping out a handkerchief and mopping the boy up. 

Tony watched them together. Loki looked so collected, like he knew exactly what he was doing, despite what he’d said. He couldn’t deal with this. He stood up and stormed out of the room.

-

Peace and quiet wasn’t a viable option with so many people in the house. Loki joined Tony in the kitchen, closely followed by Clint, Natasha, and Carol. Nat had little Peter balanced on her hip. 

“Can I not have five minutes to myself?” Tony said tiredly.

“You can’t run away from this” Loki said. “Like it or not, we’ve got a toddler to look after. He’s gonna need more looking after than teenage Peter”

“I can’t. I didn’t even know… What did you feed him?”

“A jam sandwich and a chocolate biscuit”

“See, I didn’t even think of that. I just can’t do this!”

“You haven’t got a choice” Nat said, moving Peter to her other hip. “He needs you”

Tony looked at her, and looked away quickly.

“He could be a toddler for weeks, or months. That’s what Thor said” Clint said. “You need to get prepared”

“He’s right, Tony” Loki said. “We need to go shopping”

“Why?!”

“What do you mean, why?” Loki snapped. “Think about all the things he’ll need”

Clint sat down at the breakfast bar. Carol went and stood beside Tony.

“You’re gonna have to step up. I know it’s scary. But don’t they say that no one knows what they’re doing when it comes to parenting?”

“It’s not the same” Tony said. “I really don’t think I can do this”

Loki sighed and put his arms round Tony. Tony hugged him back, burying his face in his shoulder, trembling.

“I know” Loki said. “I’m scared too. But it is what it is. We’ve got no choice but to just get on with it. We’re still parents, first and foremost”

Tony just clung to him, trying hard not to cry. 

“Is daddy ok?”

Loki looked over at Peter and Nat, and smiled slightly.

“Don’t worry, sweetie: daddy’s just feeling a little odd. He’ll be ok in a minute”

-

Tony leant against the counter, staring into space. Nat still had Peter. Carol was close by Loki. Tony wasn’t saying anything.

Clint cleared his throat, and poked Loki with a notepad, interrupting their conversation. Loki turned and took it from him. He looked at him quizzically, and then down at the notepad.

“Oh..!”

“It’s by no means exhaustive” Clint said.

“What is it?” Tony said, his voice shaky.

“It’s- um, it’s a shopping list”

“I’ve just tried to put down all the stuff I know my kids had when they were toddlers, and some other obvious bits” Clint said. “Sorry it’s kinda long”

“Well, we’re not short of money, and I was expecting to need a lot” Loki said. He took a deep breath. “Thank you”

“No worries… Look, I know we don’t really get along, but you’re a good dad. I know you are. I think you’ll be fine, but like, hey, I’ve got three kids. I can offer some advice if you need it”

“Thank you, I appreciate that”

“Aww Clint, you can be useful sometimes then” Nat teased.

“Hey, I gotta be good for something”

“You’d better go shopping sooner rather than later” Carol said. “It’s just barely afternoon, but shopping can take a long time”

“You’re all missing one crucial detail” Tony said scornfully. “How are we supposed to take a toddler shopping? Don’t you need car seats for them?”

“Yeah, speaking of that” Bruce appeared in the doorway, and came and handed Tony the keys to one of his cars. “It’s all set up, and checked”

Tony stared at him. “You… you bought a car seat?”

“I knew you’d need one” Bruce said. “You’ll need to take him with you”

“I… thank you” Tony took the keys from him. “Thanks…”

“Hey, it’s the least I could do. The kid means a lot to me, too” Bruce said. “I’ve sorted the press release too. Everyone will find out soon anyway. It’s hit a little paper, but it won’t be in the big news until tonight. I’ve altered the story, of course”

Loki put a hand on Bruce’s arm. “Thank you”

“Hey, no problem. Are you going now then?”

“Yes” Loki nodded at Tony. “I’m just going to get ready”

He swept out of the kitchen, and Tony looked at Carol for help.

“What?”

“I don’t know about this”

“He needs supplies. You’ll be fine. Look” she looked at Peter, who had been quietly playing with Nat’s keys all the while they were in the kitchen. “He’s good as gold”

Tony allowed himself to look at the boy properly. He looked happy enough, cuddled against Nat, concentrating on her keys. He really did look tiny. He had the same sweet eyes and soft curls and funny mannerisms that Tony knew so well, but it wasn’t really of any comfort. He knew it was Peter, but he still didn’t quite want to believe it. He wasn’t ready for this kind of change. Even his plans of mini golf or go-karting on Sunday had been pushed off the table. And what about everything else he’d planned or wanted to do? What about those nights down in the lab, working till all-hours with his son at his side? What about school? What about swim team? What about all their jokes and memories? His son, his teenage son, was gone. And now there was just this toddler, and he wasn’t at all sure about that.

He tore his eyes away, and slipped his feet into a pair of shoes he’d left by the kitchen door. He pulled on a hooded jacket, shoved his wallet and phone into his pocket, and kept the car keys in his hand. Loki came back into the room, jacket and shoes on, wallet and phone in his pockets.

“I’m not sure about this” Tony said.

“We’ll hold down the fort here” Bruce said. “Or, some of us will. Don’t worry about it”

Tony swallowed hard, and nodded. “Right…”

“Right” Loki said, taking Peter from Nat and trying to pass him to Tony.

“Loki! I can’t-”

“I’m going to let go of him in two seconds, and if you don’t have hold of him, he’ll get hurt, and guess whose fault it’ll be?”

Tony had no choice but to take hold of Peter, and only when he was sure he was holding him properly, did Loki let go.

“Hi daddy” Peter smiled.

Tony barely looked at him.

“Shall we be off, then?” Loki said. “See you later, everyone”

“Yeah, see you later” Tony said.

-

Tony tried to pass Peter to Loki once they got back down to the garage, but Loki wouldn’t let him.

“I’m sure you can put him in his seat” Loki said. “I need to take my pill”

“Alright then” Tony said, pretending to be brave. 

He opened the back door of the car, looking at the child seat. 

“Uhh. Right, let’s see if we can figure this out” Tony said to himself. “Right”

He sat the toddler down on the seat and started fiddling with the straps. 

“Right, ok. So, uhh… Ah, so this bit goes here, and that bit goes there, and…” Tony mumbled to himself. “Ah! There, got it”

No sooner had he clipped everything together than Peter started squeaking. Tony was a little taken aback. 

“What?”

“What’s the matter with him?” Loki asked, screwing the lid back on his water bottle and getting back out of the car.

“I don’t know. Maybe he just doesn’t like the car seat” 

Loki carefully moved Tony out of the way. 

“What’s the matter, chick?” he said to Peter.

“I want to get out! I want to get  _out_!” Peter squawked. “I don’t like it!”

“You have to stay in the seat, sweetheart” Loki said. He went to tweak the straps, but stopped. “Flippin’ ‘eck Tony, no wonder he’s upset!”

“What’s up?”

“Did you not check these straps? You could barely slip a slice of paper under these” Loki said, loosening the straps. “Poor little Peter”

“Sorry, a  _slice_  of paper?”

“Shut up, Tony” Loki said. “There, is that better, darling?”

Peter nodded. “Mm-hmm”

“Good. Ok sweetheart, hands on your knees, ok?”

Peter looked at him, and then did as he was told. Loki closed the door, and looked at Tony.

“What?”

“Why ask him to do that?”

“So I knew his hands are out of the way while I closed the door, of course” Loki said, climbing into the front of the car.

Tony sighed and went round to the drivers side. He sighed again as he closed the door.

“Fine, let’s go. Have you got that list?” 

“It’s in my pocket” Loki said. 

“Good”

-

Peter started fussing within a couple of minutes of the car starting.

“What’s the matter with him?” Tony hissed.

“How should I know? Maybe he’s just upset” Loki said. 

He paused, and then turned the radio on. Peter soon fell quiet, listening to the music. Tony glanced at Loki.

“How did you know what to do?”

“It was just a guess” Loki said. 

“Hmm” Tony looked at Peter in the rear view mirror. “I still can’t get my head around this”

“Me neither” Loki said. “But we’ve no choice but to deal with it”

“You said we need a lot of stuff”

“Yes. But it has to be done”

Tony nodded, and concentrated on watching the road. Keep Calm And Carry On, he told himself. Keep Calm. And Carry On.

-

Peter started fussing again when they got out of the car. Tony unplugged him from his car seat but gave him to Loki.

“I’ll hold the basket” he said firmly.

“Fine” Loki said. “Peter, stop squeaking”

“I wanna walk!!”

“Wait until we’re in the shop” Loki said.

“I WANNA WALK!”

“In a minute, chick”

“People are gonna think we’re right scrubbers” Tony said. “He hasn’t got any shoes on”

“Well, there was nothing we could do about that” Loki said. “He’ll have shoes by the time we’re done here. Besides, everyone knows who you are, and even if they did see, they wouldn’t care”

“Mm. Anyway, can you shut him up?”

“Tony, that doesn’t help” Loki said, struggling to keep hold of the wriggling little boy.

Mercifully, the new surroundings inside the shop were enough of a distraction for Peter that he went quiet and stop struggling, instead craning round to look at everything. 

“Right, uh… Where’s that list?”

Loki took the notepad from his pocket and handed it to Tony. Tony looked it over, biting his lip.

“Uuhhh… Shall we start upstairs then?”

“Probably a good idea” Loki said. 

They went up the escalator to the clothing section, and as soon as he saw the first tiny t-shirt, Tony felt completely out of his depth.

“Ok, uhh… Wait, what size is he?”

“Well, he’s three, isn’t he?” Loki said. “So there’s only really two sizes he can be. We’ll just have to try something on him to find out”

“Oh right, ok. Uhh…”

Loki sat Peter down on a nearby chair. “Stay”

He grabbed a couple of plain black t-shirts from a nearby rack. 

“What if he just fusses?” Tony asked.

“We’ll live” Loki said, pulling Peter’s shirt off and shoving the 2-3 years black tee over his head. 

“Well, that fits, anyway. Sorted”

“I don’t know” Loki said, slipping his finger under the sleeve. “Little kids move around such a lot, and these are quite slim-fitting. Maybe it’d be better having some room to move”

He took that shirt off him and tried the 3-4 years one. Even Tony could tell that it was a better fit.

“3-4, then” Tony said.

“Yep, I’d stick with that” Loki said, putting Peter back into his own shirt. 

“I’ve got a question” Tony said.

“What?” Loki said, picking Peter back up.

“Why did his clothes shrink too?”

Loki stopped for a moment, mouth open. “You know, I didn’t even really notice. Just call it a small mercy”

“Mm” Tony consulted the list, and laughed nervously. “I’ve got no idea where to begin here”

“Neither do I. We’ll just have to guess” Loki said.

“Daddy, put me down!” Peter said. “I wanna walk!”

“I’m not sure that’s a good idea” Tony said.

“He’s safe enough walking in socks as long as he’s inside” Loki said, putting the boy down.

Peter was off like a rocket, shooting down the aisle towards the tills, and back again, running in circles round his parents before rushing off towards the escalators. Loki grabbed him quickly.

“Woah there, little roadrunner” he said to the giggling toddler. “Stay away from this bit, ok?”

“Why?”

“Because it’s dangerous. Stay close to us” Loki said.

Peter ran back to Tony, jumping up and down on the spot.

“Was I fast? I was fast, right? The fastest?”

Tony just blinked at him.

“Yes, you were incredibly fast” Loki said, patting him on the head. “Right, let’s find you some clothes”

“Boring!” Peter said, sticking his tongue out at Loki.

“ _Not_ boring” Loki said. “Come on; you can help choose”

Peter didn’t seem too sure about the idea. Tony started feeling a bit more comfortable while he and Loki talked and started filling their shopping basket with little jeans and t-shirts and button-ups and anything else they found that was either essential or very cute. They got a little too involved in their own conversation, and forgot to keep an eye on Peter. 

“There’s actually some super cute stuff here” Tony said. “Wait, how do we work out shoe sizes?”

“He’ll have to try them on. Hey, Peter, sweetie, lets- Peter?” He spun round. “Oh heck”

“You lost him?”

“Uh,  _we_ lost him! Don’t worry; he can’t have gone far”

Loki was fully ready to go into a major panic. He rushed to the main aisle, and near enough fainted with relief to see his tiny boy sat at the end of the aisle. He rushed over to him.

“Hey, where did you go? We told you to stay close!” Loki said. “What have you got there?”

“I don’t know”

Loki carefully took the sunglasses and sequin sunhat from him, setting them back on a nearby shelf. Peter looked at him, offended.

“Don’t give me that look” Loki said, hoicking the boy up into his arms. 

“You found him, then” Tony said.

Loki nodded. “It would appear so”

“So… shoes?”

-

Finding shoes and slippers to fit Peter was easier than expected. The sales assistant made a big fuss of him, which Peter liked, and he found liked the sizing tool, even though having his feet moved tickled.

“Well, that’s something else ticked off the list” Tony said, crossing out shoes and slippers. “So, next is… pyjamas?”

“Ok. Oh, Peter! Don’t go running off again!”

They caught up to him over by another wall. He had something in his hands again.

“What have you found?” Loki asked.

“Big rocket!” Peter grinned.

He held up the big soft toy. It was indeed a rocket, bright red and yellow, with a little porthole stuck closed with velcro that could be opened to show a little astronaut behind it. It was very soft, and almost half Peter’s size.

“How lovely” Tony said, although it didn’t sound like he meant it. “Put it back now”

“It’s mine!”

Tony sighed, taking the rocket from him and putting it back on the shelf. Well, Peter didn’t like that. He opened his mouth and yelled.

“Hey, there’s no need for that noise!” Tony snapped.

Peter just yelled louder. “ROCKET! I WANT MY ROCKET! I WANT MY ROCKET!”

“It’s not yours!” Tony said.

“ROCKET!” Peter howled, tears streaming down his cheeks. “I WANT MY ROCKET! MY ROCKET! I WANT IT, I WANT IT, I WANT IT!”

“Stop! Loki, help me out here”

“Peter, shush. Daddy said no”

“I WANT IT! I WANT IT, I WANT IT, I WANT IT!” Peter shrieked, stamping his little feet on the floor. “I WANT THE ROCKET! GIVE ME ROCKET! GIVE ME ROCKET! I WANT-”

“Peter, no” Loki said firmly.

Peter lay down on the floor and screamed. “I WANT IT! I WANT IT! IT’S NOT FAIR! IT’S NOT FAIR! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I WANT THE ROCKET! I WANT THE ROCKET! I WANT-”

“Ok, ok, fine! Just shut up!” 

Tony grabbed the rocket from the shelf and gave it back to Peter. Peter stopped crying as soon as the toy was back in his hands. He sat up, hugging the rocket to his chest. 

“Good god, my hearts still thumping” Tony said, breathing deeply. “Is this what having a toddler is like?”

“I think tantrums are a part of it” Loki said, breathing out. “Flippin’ ‘eck, and we thought regular Peter’s tantrums were bad. At least he never kicks off in public”

Peter stood up, the rocket tight under his arm. He took Loki’s hand.

“Funny, he looks so sweet now” Loki said, squeezing his hand. He took a deep breath. “Let’s go and find you some pyjamas, shall we, sweetheart?”

Peter nodded. “Rocket…”

Loki looked at Tony. “I think this is going to be a challenge”

“Oh honey, you’re not the first person to give in to a screaming toddler”

They all spun round, looking at the owner of the voice.

“I once had to buy my little girl a bar of dog chocolate because she wouldn’t stop screaming, and I got my son a golfing magazine for the same reason. He still doesn’t know what golf is” the lady laughed. “I saw the article about your kid”

“Oh” Tony said. “Yeah…”

“Weird situation, right?” the lady said. “You’ll be  _fine_ ; just laugh about it and don’t let people without kids tell you what to do”

“Well, I can get on board with that notion” Loki said. 

“Cool to meet you, Tony” the lady smiled, rifling in her handbag for a notebook. “Hey, is it ok if I grab a quick autograph?”

“Oh. Of course”

Tony had a little conversation with the lady, signing her notebook and taking a selfie with her, and quite happy to do it.

“Thank you for being cool” the lady said. “Good luck with the kid”

-

Peter was back to being good as gold. He stood rubbing his nose against the soft material of the rocket while his parents talked, and he didn’t fuss when they held things up against him to see how they looked.

“Oh Tony, look at this. Would it be too silly if we got this?” 

“Uhh. No, that is pretty cute” Tony said, looking at the teddy bear onesie. “It’s basically the same colour as his hair”

“It matches so cutely” Loki said, holding it up against the boy. “Aww! It has to be done. I love all these things with bear ears”

Tony laughed, and let him put it in the basket. He got the notepad out, checking the list.

“Socks, vests, underwear, normal clothes, coat, pyjamas, dressing gown, shoes, slippers… I think that’s everything for clothes" Tony said.

“I think so too. What do you think, Peter?”

“Blanket”

“Ok, we can find you a blanket” Loki said. “We’ve got an overflowing basket there: I think we’ll be ok, at least for now. So, I think it’s just all the non-clothing items to get now”

“Yeah… Shall we go and pay?” 

Loki nodded. “Good idea. We’ll go downstairs for the other stuff afterwards. So-”

“Wait a minute” Tony interrupted. “Do we need to get… nappies?”

“Uh. I shouldn’t think so” Loki said. “Most kids are toilet-trained at this age”

“But aren’t some kids still like, well, bed-wetters?”

“Well, yes, some: not all. We can always put a towel under him tonight and if we’ve got any problems, we can go from there”

“Right” Tony said. “Well, I’ll trust your judgement”

He cleared his throat, adjusted his hold on the basket, and headed towards the upstairs tills. 

Peter was surprisingly good about having the rocket taken off him at the till. He was cute and quiet, which was a relief for Tony especially. He did, however, insist he wanted to keep walking, so they sat him down and put a pair of his new shoes on so they didn’t have to worry about his feet. Loki looked at Tony, seeing him much calmer. He kissed him on the cheek and squeezed his hand. If Tony kept this up, they’d be ok. He knew it.

-

Downstairs was a bit more of a challenge. Tony was utterly clueless about childrens’ dinnerware, not to mention toiletries. Besides that, Peter was at the perfect height to start grabbing things from the lower shelves, and Loki was constantly on the runaround trying to keep him under control.

“Here, give him this” Tony said, retrieving the rocket from one of the shopping bags. “He won’t be able to grab things with his hands full”

“Oh, I’m an idiot” Loki said, giving Peter the rocket. “Good thinking”

Peter squealed excitedly and hugged the rocket against his chest. It seemed to have the desired effect.

“Do we really need to have plastic plates and bowls and stuff?” Tony said.

“Toddlers and china don’t exactly mix. I’m rather fond of our crockery, thank you very much” Loki said, dropping a plastic dining set into the basket. “We’d better get a good amount”

“Ok, ok. I’ll let you choose” Tony said. “So, plates, bowls, cutlery. Uhhh… Bibs?”

“He’s probably a bit old for that” Loki said, and then remembered the juice incident from earlier. “Ah, sippy cups”

“Really?”

“Yes, I think it’s a good idea. I’ll get a couple of regular plastic kids cups, but I think on the whole, sippy cups are the best bet. Ok… I think that’s it for kitchen stuff. Aside from food”

“What? I did a food shop like, three days ago”

“Well, yes, but there’s some things we buy that he probably won’t eat, or shouldn’t eat. He’ll need some kiddie-snacks and stuff like that”

“What, like, follow on milk?” Tony said.

“He’s more than old enough for cows milk” Loki said. “We’ll do the food shopping another time, get a proper list sorted”

“You’re getting really into this, aren’t you?”

“I’m just trying to be thorough” Loki said. “I’m scared of getting things wrong”

Tony squeezed his hand. “Stop panicking. You’re brilliant”

“I’m not so sure” Loki said, steering Peter away from a free-standing display. “Anyway, kids toiletries. Remind me to get baby wipes. Oh, and some toys”

“Why does he need toys?”

“He needs things to play with, Tony” Loki said. “He’s a little kid now”

“He’s got loads of cuddly toys at home, and we’ve just bought him that rocket. I’m not turning our house into a play school” Tony said.

“…Bath toys, then. We’ll get him some little boats and ducks and things like that. Ok?”

Tony nodded. “Fine. Oh, and he wanted a blanket”

“Right. Ok. Anything else, little boy?”

Peter looked up at him. “Tooth”

“What do you mean?” Tony asked.

“Ah, toothbrush, toothpaste. Good catch, chick. Right” Loki said. “Let’s get this haul finished”

“Daddy?”

“Yes, sweetheart?”

“I’m tired”

“Ah” Loki looked at Tony. “We should try to finish up soon. I think this little boy is ready for a nap”

*


	5. Such Sorrow

-

Peter was very grumpy indeed by the time they got home. Tony was much the same, although for different reasons. Steve, Bruce, and Wanda had left, but that still left Nat, Carol, and Clint hanging about. Clint was in the kitchen.

“Good trip?” he said.

“Expensive” Tony grumbled, shoving all the shopping bags down. “Loki, where do you want all of this?”

“Are you serious?” Loki said, trying to shush Peter. “I’m sure you can work it out yourself”

“Why can’t you help?”

“Are you serious?” Loki said again. “I need to put Peter down for a nap”

“I can take him” Clint offered.

Loki looked at him. “…What?”

“I’ve got three kids; I know how to do nap time” he said. “Back rooms set up, right? I’ll stick him in there. Futon might be a better bet: I don’t wanna be responsible for him if he falls out of bed”

“… Ok. That’s fine. Well, if you’re sure…”

“I am” Clint said, taking the whimpering boy from him. “Hey, little guy. Aw, someone’s tired”

Peter whined, rubbing his eyes and burying his face in his new rocket toy.

“Oh wait, we got him a blanket” Loki said, quickly finding it in one of the bags and discarding the cardboard sleeve. “It might help him”

“Cute” Clint said, taking the little fleecy blanket from him. “Come on then, little guy: lets get you down for your nap”

Loki gave Peter a quick kiss, and then let him go. 

“What are you panicking about?” 

Loki glared at Tony. “I’m just nervous, ok?”

“Mm. Right, give me a hand with this stuff, ok? I’ll leave the clothes, but we can put the rest of it away”

Loki narrowed his eyes at him. “What’s gotten you so grumpy all of a sudden? You were ok for a bit while we were out”

“Just tell me where to put this stuff”

Loki sighed heavily, and grabbed the first carrier bag. Tony’s ‘we can do this’ attitude seemed to have completely disappeared. 

-

They finished putting away all of the kitchen stuff, but when Loki tried to start talking about a care routine for their now-toddler, Tony completely blanked him. By the time Clint got back to the kitchen, the two were in one hell of a shouting match. 

“Uh, what the hell are you two shouting about?” 

“Tony’s being a twat” Loki said.

Carol and Nat came into the kitchen too. 

“What’s he saying?”

“He’s just being a twat” Loki snapped. “You can’t act like none of this is happening”

“I’m not acting like none of this is happening!” Tony insisted. “I just don’t know why I have to act like everything is ok. I’ve just lost my son”

“We  _haven’t_ lost our son! He’s just small now”

“I never adopted a toddler!”

“Tony, for fucks sake” Nat said. “Calm down”

“Don’t you dare tell me to calm down! You don’t understand what this is like! My little boy-”

“Is still your little boy” Carol interrupted. 

“You were ok while we were out shopping” Loki said. “I thought you’d started to accept this”

“Well you thought wrong. How the hell am I supposed to accept this?! This is exactly what I feared. How am I supposed to look after a toddler?”

“We’re going to have to get on with it” Loki said. “It’s not easy for any of us, but it-”

“Don’t you dare say it is what it is. Don’t you dare!”

“But it is” Loki said, grabbing Tony by the shoulders. “We didn’t exactly know what we were doing when he first came to live with us full time, and we’d known him for a pretty long time by then. But we still did it, didn’t we? We struggled through together. We might have a younger son now, but we still know him as a person, right? We’ll just have to adapt. We can do it, you and me. Like we always do”

Tony looked at him. He didn’t want to admit that Loki might have a good point. He didn’t want everyone else telling him to just get on with it. He gave Loki a shove.

“Leave me alone. I didn’t sign up for this”

“Yes, you did. He’s still our son”

“I’m not doing this! I can’t look after a tiny kid! I’m gonna call Li Allen, maybe she can-”

“Absolutely not!” Loki shouted. “You can’t just send him away because it’s difficult, you stupid man! You can’t palm him off on someone else; I won’t let you!”

“Why do you have to act so high and mighty about all of this? I want my son back! My  _fifteen_  year old son. Why are you ok with this?!”

“I have to be!” Loki growled. “This is hard for the rest of us too; not just you. We just have to get on with it” 

“I don’t care! Why can’t you just let me be upset?! Why don’t you do something useful and put the rest of this shopping away while it’s sleeping?”

“It?  _It_? Don’t you  _dare_  start treating him badly just because you’re upset, you absolute-”

“I don’t care, and I’m not listening! Fuck off and leave me alone, all of you!” Tony shouted, and stormed out of the room.

Loki growled angrily as Tony left.

“That bastard! I could wring his neck!”

“Maybe we shouldn’t resort to murder” Carol said. “I’ll go and talk to him”

“I’m not getting involved” Nat said.

“Loki, do you want a hand with those clothes?” Clint asked.

Loki looked at him for a moment, and then nodded. He supposed it would be easier with company.

-

“Parenting is hard” Clint said, sorting through the bags. “I know this whole situation is weird, but Tony will step up”

“He’s a stubborn man” Loki said, finding an empty drawer in Peter’s dresser and a couple of spare storage boxes. “How could you know?”

“At the end of the day, there’s a kid who needs looking after” Clint said. “Tony can’t sulk forever. He’ll need to suck it up and keep being a parent”

“What if he doesn’t? What if he sees me looking after him and thinks he can just step back and do nothing?”

“Don’t give him the option. You’re married; you’re supposed to help each other. Plus, Peter’s his son too. Listen, you’re no fool: you wouldn’t let Tony become a deadbeat”

Loki stopped for a moment, sitting down on the rug opposite Clint.

“If I’m looking after Peter, and if he’s tricky, well, how can I possibly prioritise Tony and getting him to help? Peter’s going to need me more”

“Yeah, maybe. But I’ll bitch at Tony if I need to, and so will everyone else. He’ll step up once he’s over the initial shock”

Loki didn’t respond. They were both quiet for a moment, removing hangers and folding clothes.

“You’ve got loads of things” Clint said. “There’s some cute stuff here”

“Yes. Well, we don’t know how long this is going to take. The reversal, I mean. I thought it better to have too much than not enough”

“Oh yeah, it’s the way to go” Clint said. “Little kids are real big on messy play”

“Oh yes, indeed. At least we don’t have a garden here, so I don’t have to worry about daily grass-stain removal” Loki said. He sighed. “Tony is Peter’s favourite parent; he always has been. He… He put him in his car seat, and got him out again, but that was it. He was in better spirits while we were out. But… Well, where Peter was concerned… He barely spoke to him, outside of the tantrum”

“Oh joy, kiddie tantrum in a big shop, was it?”

“Yes, he kicked off when Tony told him he couldn’t have that rocket. Tony gave in though, just to keep him quiet” Loki sighed. “He’s always been so brilliant with Peter, so in tune with him. It’s like he isn’t even trying now. I mean, he called him ‘it’, for crying out loud! And of course earlier, when I tried to get him to hold him, and he said he didn’t want him. And of course, there’s what he said about Li”

“That’s your social worker, right?” Clint nodded. “He’s just scared. Sure, you’ll probably have to tell her, but it doesn’t really make a difference, right?”

“I’m not prepared for any of this” Loki said. “But I’m not giving up on my little boy. I promised to look after him the moment I invited him into my life. I promised again when we had that custody agreement with May, and again when he came to live with us, and then again when we adopted him. Tony did too. How can he backtrack on that?”

“He can’t” Clint said. “Listen, Tony’s a good dad too. You’ll figure all this out together”

“And before that happens?”

“Like I said earlier, I know we’re not friends, but I’ll still help. I love Peter, I’ve got kids, and I’ve got your number. Or, there’s the internet. I’ll help if you need me too. Anything you want to ask now?”

Loki stopped, stroking the little ears on the teddy bear onesie in his hands. 

“Yes, but it might sound thick”

“Go for it: I’m a master at being thick”

Loki laughed slightly. “Two questions. Firstly, what time do you put a three year old to bed?”

“With mine, it was 8pm, sometimes a bit earlier if they were really tired. You start winding them down before though, if you can. Bedtime stories and things like that” Clint said. “Next question?”

“Is he too old for a buggy?”

“No. He might know his feet and be fast and energetic, but he’s still tiny. Buy a buggy. Good if he’s tired, or to keep track of him if you’re out somewhere busy. And if you take him on days out, you’ll need one. They do get tired more when they’re out and about” Clint said. “Any other questions?”

“Not right now… Thank you, by the way. It’s good having someone who understands things” 

“No problem. Are you gonna hold that onesie all day?”

“I’m distracted” Loki said, folding it carefully and adding it to one of the piles. “I’ve got a hell of a lot to think about”

“I can only imagine. It’s weird for the rest of us, so what it’s like for you? Well, that’s beyond me”

Loki took a deep breath, and nodded. He looked at all of the clothes they’d folded already. He thought about the little toothbrush and kiddie toiletries, and all the kids tableware in the kitchen. It all felt so unbelievably weird. He had no idea how this was going to work.

-

Carol nodded at Loki when him and Clint came into the living room after they’d finished sorting the clothes. Nat was beside Carol, and she smiled slightly.

“Tony’s not very happy” she said.

“Yeah, he’s very upset” Carol said. “We did talk a lot. And argue a lot. For quite a while”

“Where is he now?” Loki asked, sitting down on the big armchair.

“He’s in his room. He said he wanted to be left alone” Carol sighed. “I think he wants to sleep”

Loki rested his head in his hand. “I have no idea what to do”

“You’ve done great so far” Nat said. “Just hope Carol’s kicked Tony into shape and he’ll do better later”

“Nat” Clint said quietly. “Check your watch”

Nat did. She sighed and stood up.

“We’ve got to go” she said. “I’ll check back in some time, if that’s ok?” 

Loki nodded. “Ok. Peter will like to see you, I’m sure”

Clint went over and gave Loki’s shoulder an awkward squeeze.

“I’ll ring you. In a week or so? See how you’re getting on?” 

Loki looked at him. “Thank you. For helping with Peter. And the rest of it”

“No problem” he said. “Good luck”

The sound of the front door closing seemed to suck a lot more noise out of the air. It felt strange, just being with Carol. It was usually a comfortable thing, but now, it just felt heavy.

“How are you feeling?” Carol said, sitting down on the arm of his chair. “Worried? Scared? Lost?”

“Yes, yes, and yes” Loki said. “Oh god, how am I supposed to do this? I can’t be a single parent”

“You’ve looked after Peter alone plenty of times”

“Yeah, big Peter, and with Tony’s constant support, sometimes at long distance, of course. But still… There’s a difference. I know you mean well, but… Oh  _god_ , this is such a mess!”

“You’re thinking about the clinic, aren’t you? Just a little bit?”

“I know he’s in shock: I am too” Loki said. “But what if he did this with a baby?”

“It’s a different situation, completely” Carol said. “You’d have been planning for ages for a baby; you’d be ready. This was thrown on you without warning. Tony just needs a bit of time to mope, and then a good kick up the arse, and he’ll be fine. He’s a good dad”

“I know. But he didn’t try this afternoon. I mean, not with Peter. He was good helping choose clothes, but that’s all, really. He was  _better_ out, but…”

“They say it’s easier taking babies out, right? Maybe it was the same kinda thing. Or maybe it was the distraction” she put her arms round him, resting her head against his. “You know I love you, and I wouldn’t lie to you. He’ll come round. He just needs a little time”

Loki sighed, breathing in deeply. “Carol… You know what I’m going to say”

“That I smell nice?”

“Yes” Loki said. “But something else, too”

“Stay?”

“Yeah”

“Oh Loki” Carol held him tighter. “I love you, and I love Tony, and little Peter. But I can’t stay. I promised I’d stay until after your mission. It’s after your mission now”

“You said you wanted to hear Peter’s account of it. Can’t you wait till he’s told you?”

“He’s going to be little and without any memories of being big for a while, darling. We both know that. It could be months. You know I have things I need to do elsewhere” 

Loki found her hand and held it tight. He shut his eyes, trying hard to stay calm. Carol pressed her lips against Loki’s temple. 

“Do you need to cry?”

“Yes”

“Are you going to?”

Loki pulled her onto his lap, holding her close and tight. “Absolutely not”

-

Carol left far too soon, and Loki nearly did cry when the door closed behind her. But he heard a little voice in the distance, and went off to find Peter, who had woken from his nap.

“Hey, little boy” Loki said, sitting down on the futon. “How are you doing?”

“Where’s other daddy?”

“He’s busy” Loki said. “Right, let’s get you up”

Peter put his blanket round his shoulders, tucked his rocket under his arm, and pushed himself to his feet. Loki smiled, and took Peter’s hand. 

“What do you want to do now, darling?”

Peter thought for a moment. “Go for a wee”

“Oh right” Loki said, a little surprised at his answer. “Ok, you come with me”

He led him to the nearest bathroom, pausing outside the door.

“Do you… do you need a hand?” 

“I can go by myself” Peter said.

“Ok. Here, let me look after your rocket and blanket for you then” Loki said, taking them from him. 

He stayed outside, waiting. He wasn’t entirely sure why he was nervous. The chain went a couple of minutes later, and the bathroom door opened.

“Hi” Loki said. “Did you wash your hands?”

“I can’t reach the sink”

“Ah. Right, come here then”

Loki took him back into the bathroom and held him up so he could reach to wash his hands. 

“Good boy. I know, this sink is kind of high. We’ll get a little step for you to stand on in here” Loki said, setting the boy back on his feet and handing him a towel. “Here, dry your hands”

Once Peter had done so, Loki gave him his rocket back, and wrapped his blanket round his shoulders.

“There” he said. “Now what do you want to do?”

“I want to see daddy”

“You can’t right now, darling” Loki said, his heart near enough breaking. “Why don’t we go and watch a DVD for a bit instead. Would you like that?”

“I want daddy. Is he asleep?”

“Yes” Loki said, deciding it was the best way to respond. “You can see him later. So. DVD?”

Peter looked at him. “Which one?”

“Well” Loki thought for a moment, remembering that the people hit with Kindsprengen’s gun remembered things they liked. “What do you want to watch? One of my funny old DVDs?”

Peter went quiet, thinking, and then started singing. “Underground, overground, wombling free! The Wombles of Wimbledon, common are we”

“Making good use of the things that we find, things that the everyday folks leave behind” Loki finished for him. “The Wombles, then?”

“No. I wanna watch Mr Benn!” Peter said, and then collapsed into giggles. 

Loki couldn’t help laughing too. “Were you trying to trick me, little boy?”

Peter just laughed more, almost bent double. Loki laughed more too, scooping the boy up into his arms and cuddling him close.

“Mr Benn it is, then” Loki said. “Let’s go and get you settled” 

-

Peter lay on the floor making what Loki assumed were rocket noises while the DVD was being set up.

“Where’s mumma?” he asked, in between sound effects.

“She’s had to go. Work” Loki said. “But she’s left you some more lollies”

Loki stopped, thinking for a moment. He hadn’t seen the lollies: Carol had just said she’d put them in the cupboard. He looked at Peter, and he wasn’t sure whether or not it was a good idea. He didn’t want him choking. What if it was those lollies with the paper sticks where the sweets often came off quickly? 

“Peter, sweetheart” Loki said, pressing play on the DVD. “Stay here. I’ll just be a minute”

Peter seemed happy enough where he was, so Loki nipped to the kitchen and looked in Peter’s cupboard. He was relieved to see that Carol had brought Peter’s current favourite; Juicy Drop Pops. They were on more of a base than a stick, and definitely looked much safer. Loki thought he might be overreacting, but he wanted to be safe. But then he started to wonder if sour things were ok for little kids. Maybe it would be personal preference. These sweets weren’t really that sour, but maybe little Peter wouldn’t like them anywhere near as much as the Peter that had started the day. God, that felt weird to think about. Loki checked his watch, and it was nearly 5.30pm. Seven hours ago, they still had big Peter. Time was playing tricks on him, he was sure of it. He closed the cupboard and went back to the living room.

Little Peter was sat on the rug in front of the telly, watching the DVD. Loki watched him, wondering what was going through his head. He knew who everyone was, and he seemed to know where he was, and what he liked, and he looked comfortable, but did he have any actual _memory_  memories? Maybe he was too absorbed in the day he was living to really think about it. Maybe he had semi-memories. He obviously remembered seeing this DVD. It was all very strange. Little Peter recognised Loki and Tony as his parents, which was a relief, but it did make Loki wonder. When Peter was originally three years old, he’d had his biological parents. May (and even Peter himself) had always said that he didn’t really remember them, but he obviously had no inkling of any other parentage as he was now. But even that thought raised another question: would he remember May? Loki looked at one of the pictures on the wall. It was strange, looking at himself, Tony, and May, and regular Peter, when he had tiny Peter in front of him. He pulled out his phone, finding an old picture of himself and May. He sat down beside Peter on the floor, and showed him his phone.

“Do you know who this is?” he asked.

Peter looked at the picture. He didn’t seem too interested, or show much emotional at all to it. “It’s you”

“Yes. And who am I with?”

“A lady”

Loki swallowed. He looked at the picture, sighed, and closed his phone. Well, it answered one question, anyway. He sighed again, and gave Peter a quick kiss on the cheek.

“Stay there, chick: I’ll just be a minute”

-

Tony didn’t want to talk to Loki. He didn’t want to leave his room, he didn’t want to see Peter, and he didn’t want to eat. Loki left his room in a huff, wondering why he’d even bothered when he already knew what the answer would be. He tried to stop being cross when he rejoined Peter.

“Darling, we need to think about getting you fed now” he said.

Peter didn’t say anything. He was still busy watching the telly. Loki sat down, remote in hand. He waited until the episode finished, and then paused the DVD. Peter frowned, and then turned round, looking at Loki.

“It’s stopped” he said.

“Yes. It’s time for us to sort dinner” Loki said. “Why don’t you come through to the kitchen with me, and we’ll see what we can find?”

“What about my rocket?”

“Your rocket can come too” Loki said, standing up. “Are you coming?”

“Yes yes, wait!” Peter jumped up, leaving his blanket behind, and trotted after Loki.

Loki hit a mental block as soon as he got into the kitchen. Breakfast and lunch ideas came easily to him, but as he tried to think of what a three year old might accept for tea, he hit a wall. He couldn’t for the life of him think of anything. Surely this shouldn’t be so hard? He looked at Peter, who was jumping between the chequerboard tiles of the kitchen floor.

“What do you want for tea, sweetheart?”

“Something yummy”

His answer wasn’t exactly helpful. Loki didn’t know what he’d expected, but he needed an idea from somewhere.

“How hungry are you?” he asked, opening one of the kitchen cupboards.

“For food”

“I think you’ve misunderstood my question” Loki said. “Are you a little bit hungry, or are you quite hungry, or are you very hungry?”

Peter just shrugged, far more interested in his little jumping game than his dads silly questions. Loki bit his lip, starting to feel sick and shaky all over again. He closed the cupboard and got out his phone. He hesitated for a moment, annoyed at himself, before giving in and googling; ‘evening meal ideas for toddlers’.

Well, even that was more complicated that he expected. Surely toddlers wouldn’t really want breaded broccoli or black bean quesadillas or courgette chips? In fact, most adults wouldn’t want to eat that, he was sure of it. And this blog was seriously suggesting houmous? For a  _toddler_? And for a full meal? Lentil soup? What? Was this seriously what people fed toddlers? It sounded more like the menu for a vegan cafe. Besides, he didn’t have hours to prepare and cook, and he was certain most of the ingredients for these little ideas would not be found in the Stark family kitchen. 

He looked at Peter, who was mercifully still playing happily. He clicked on the next web page, and was met with more seemingly ridiculous suggestions: pea and shrimp risotto, split pea and spinach dhal, lamb tagine, salmon pesto tray bake.. Loki quickly shut his phone. That was unbelievable. He very nearly started to doubt his lunch and breakfast ideas, but quickly told himself that everyone on the internet was a pretentious prick and there was nothing wrong with jam sandwiches and porridge with brown sugar and cream. He sighed heavily, watching Peter for a few minutes.

“Give us a clue, chicken”

Peter barely glanced at him. He was far too busy to listen to Loki. Loki sighed, and got his phone out again, deciding one more website couldn’t hurt.

-

Five websites later, and Loki still had no idea what to feed Peter. He did, however, have a newfound hatred for internet parents with blogs.

“This might actually be the worst thing that’s ever happened to me” Loki said. “I now fully understand those parents who just feed their kids oven chips every night. I don’t agree, but I understand”

Peter stopped what he was doing, and looked up at Loki, puzzled by his words. He wasn’t sure what he was talking about. Loki looked down at him.

“Everything ok?”

Peter looked at him a moment longer, shrugged, and then went back to jumping on the tiles. Loki looked back at the website still open on his phone, resisting the urge to lie down on the floor and have an existential crisis about butternut squash tagines and apricot couscous. He closed the internet and opened up his contacts, scrolling until he found; ‘That Avengers Twat With The Bow And Arrow’. His thumb hovered over the contact. It was incredible, firstly, that the thought of ringing Clint Barton of all people was crossing his mind. He’d said he’d help, but then Loki wondered what he’d think if the first phone call was; ‘help I have no idea what to feed a toddler for tea even though I had a go at Tony for not knowing what to give him for lunch’. He sighed, and closed his phone, putting it down at a safe distance. He felt like a right pillock. An actual God, wonderful as he was, being utterly defeated by toddler tea time. Sure, it was probably just the stress, but justifying it didn’t exactly help.

He opened the fridge and stood staring into it, as though doing so would spark an idea. He was still blank, looking at what they had. He furrowed his brow, thinking deeply, until he felt something tugging at his trouser leg. He looked down at the little boy at his feet.

“Hello” he said.

“I’m hungry” Peter said. “I’m ready for tea now”

Loki wanted to go and grab Tony by the ear and drag him in here to help, but somehow he didn’t think doing so would have the desired effect. Instead he just closed the fridge, and lifted Peter into his arms. 

“What do you want to eat, darling?” he tried.

“Cheesy pasta”

As soon as he said it, Loki wanted to punch himself directly in the nose for being such a hopeless fool. Macaroni cheese, of  _course_. What a stupidly simple, quick, obvious choice. He was a twat. That was it, there was no other word for it. He was a twat. But of course he didn’t say that.

“Of course, darling. Now, can you be a good boy for me while I’m cooking?”

“I think so”

Loki smiled and kissed him on the nose before putting him down. Crisis averted.

-

Luckily Loki knew a good macaroni cheese recipe off by heart and could get on quickly. He made enough for three just in case Tony changed his mind in the middle of the night. Mercifully he had the right ingredients. He set up a place for himself at the table, with Peter’s new kiddie tableware in place for him opposite. He tried to figure out what kind of bedtime routine he should try while he cooked. Peter got a little whiny and restless while he was waiting, so Loki gave him a slice of cheese to keep him going. Loki could’ve sworn time slowed down while he cooked that meal. It felt like an eternity before it was ready. Even then, he had to wait a little longer, going slow while he got himself and Peter a drink so that the food had a little time to cool. He didn’t want Peter burning his little mouth. 

He felt exhausted by the time he plonked Peter down on his usual seat at the breakfast bar. 

“Sorry it took so long, chick”

Peter just nodded, setting his rocket on the stool next to him. He looked at his plate and matching cutlery and his sippy cup of juice.

“Do you need help?” Loki asked.

Peter shook his head, picked up his fork, and started to eat. Loki almost fainted with relief. He was terrified he’d not be able to do it alone, or worse, that he’d reject it. But he was eating happily, and confidently, putting his fork down every so often so he could pick up his sippy cup for a drink. Loki realised how little he actually knew about toddlers, but he pushed down all his reservations and focused on eating his own plateful. This was all very scary, but seeing little Peter doing things for himself, and having been able to trust him alone for a couple of minutes, was a big relief. It was going to be really hard, especially at first, he knew that. He kept looking over at the kitchen doors, wishing that Tony would appear and join them. The doorways stayed depressingly empty.

-

Loki let Peter have a little runaround in the kitchen again while he washed up and tidied the kitchen. It was already nearly half seven by the time he’d finished. Clint had recommended Peter be in bed by eight, and as the man of experience, Loki trusted that recommendation. He knew kids were supposed to wind down before bed, and he was very familiar with the process. But doing it on his sabbatical was different: those children all had pre-established routines. Peter had no routine. Well, big Peter did: after tea he’d watch telly and play on his laptop and listen to music, and then he’d go to his room and shut his laptop down and pack his school bag and then he’d get settled and go to sleep. That wasn’t really going to be a viable option for a three year old.

Peter still seemed full of energy. He was still jumping about, making rocket noises and spinning around and babbling to himself. He didn’t seem tired at all. Loki was conscious of the time, and after a few minutes, he grabbed him.

“Ok, that’s enough play for now”

“Nooo, I’m still playing!” Peter whined.

“Ok, we’ve got a different game to play” Loki said. “It’s the getting-ready-for-bed game”

“That doesn’t sound like a good game” Peter said, wrinkling his nose. “I don’t want to play it”

“But if we play this game now, you get to use some of your new things”

Peter shook his head. “Nope”

He wriggled away and started running about with his rocket again. Loki bit his thumb. 

“Uh. Peter, darling, it’s bedtime”

“Well, I don’t want to go to bed”

“But I want-” Loki stopped. “But your rocket wants to go to bed”

Peter stopped, looking at his rocket. “Rockets don’t get tired”

Loki sighed, scooping the boy up into his arms. “It’s bedtime” 

Peter squawked and struggled. “No! No! I don’t want to go to bed!”

“Tough” Loki said firmly. “We’re going to bed,  _now_ ”

-

Peter wouldn’t calm down. He shrieked and struggled while Loki took him to his room and into the en suite. Loki put him down, and he tried to run. Loki stopped him easily enough.

“Peter, you need to stop squeaking now”

“I DON’T WANT TO GO TO BED!”

“I know”

“WHY MAKE ME??”

“Peter, listen: we’re not going to bed yet” 

Peter stopped shrieking. “…What?”

“We’re not going to bed yet” Loki said. He took a deep breath. He knew he had to tread carefully. “We’re going to get you clean”

“Why?”

“Because that’s what we do before bed. We’re going to wash your face and brush your teeth, and then we’re going to get you into… into your nightclothes” Loki said. “Ok?”

Peter looked at him, and at his rocket. He made a little whiny sound, shifting on his feet.

“What’s the matter, sweetheart?” Loki asked gently. “Do you need the toilet again?”

Peter shook his head. “…My rocket”

“Oh, you don’t want rocket getting all wet, is that it?”

Peter nodded.

“That’s ok, darling. Here, why don’t we put rocket up here?” he carefully took the toy and put it on the empty soap dish. “There, rocket is on its launch pad, perfectly safe” 

“What do we do now?”

“We brush your teeth” Loki said, sorting his new toothbrush and kiddie toothpaste. “Can you do it yourself?”

“I think so” 

“Ok, here you go then” Loki said, handing him the toothbrush.

Peter took it from him and put it in his mouth, holding it with both hands. Loki was happy with the little boys efforts, and thought he did a pretty good job. He helped him finish off, and let him rinse his mouth.

“Good boy”

“What now?”

“Now, I’m going to wet your new flannel and then we’ll wash your little face” Loki said, running warm water over the flannel and wringing it out. “Ok, sweetheart, hold still for me”

Peter squirmed a little, but he didn’t whine while he had his face washed. 

“What a good boy you are” Loki said, patting Peter’s face dry. “There now. Shall we go and find you something to change into?” 

Peter nodded. “Ok. Can I have my rocket back?”

“Of course” Loki took the rocket toy from the soap dish and gave it back to him.

He took him back to the bedroom and had a little look through the pyjamas they’d bought that day. He didn’t want him to overheat, but he also worried he wouldn’t be warm enough. He finally selected a little set with dark blue trousers and light blue top patterned with stars. 

“Ok, sweetheart, let’s get you changed. Put your rocket down, please” 

Peter did as he was told. He stayed quiet while Loki took his t-shirt off and said ‘skin a rabbit’, and got him out of his clothes and into his pyjamas. 

“There we are. Very cute” Loki checked his watch, sucking his breath when he saw the time. “Ok darling let’s-”

“Can I go play now?” 

“No, darling. It’s late. It’s time to go to bed”

“I don’t want to!”

“How about we read a story? Why don’t you choose a little book from your shelf, and I’ll read it to you”

Peter shook his head. Loki sighed, picking up one of the books that was still by the bed. He scooped Peter up and plonked him down on the bed.

“HEY!”

“Hey yourself” Loki said, settling down on the bed and pulling the boy close. “No, don’t get up. You just cuddle up against me, darling” 

“Why?!”

“Because how else will you get to know about The Tale of Jemima Puddle-Duck?”

Peter gave him a funny look, and then looked at the book in his hands. Loki opened the book, and begun to read.

“What a funny sight it is to see a brood of ducklings with a hen!—Listen to the story of Jemima Puddle-duck, who was annoyed because the farmer’s wife would not let her hatch her own eggs”

Peter settled down, rubbing his nose against the soft material of his rocket, looking intently at the pictures and listening to Loki’s voice. He soon went still and quiet, perfectly relaxed and sleepy.

Little Peter was fast asleep long before the story was finished. Loki put the book down and very carefully got up, keeping the boy in his arms. He pulled the covers back and set him down in the centre of the bed, biting his lip and praying he’d stay awake. He tucked his new toy rocket under his arm. He paused, and then tucked his old Peter Rabbit toy under his other arm. Then, remember what he’d said to Tony earlier, went and fetched a clean towel, which he slipped underneath the boy. He tucked him in, smoothing the covers over him and switching the night light on. 

He stood looking at him for a minute or two. He just looked so unbelievably tiny. Loki often thought Peter looked tiny, but this toddler truly  _was_. He swallowed hard, watching the rise and fall of the little boys chest, automatically counting his respiration rate. He felt sick. But this little boy was still his son, and he still needed to look after him. And above all, he still loved him. He kissed him gently on the forehead, stroking his temple gently with his thumb as he did so.

“Goodnight, little boy. I love you” he said quietly. “See you in the morning”

He turned the main light off, and closed the door behind him. 

-

Loki turned the television off and sat on the armchair nursing a mug of tea. He scrolled up and down his contacts on his phone. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt like talking to Tony wasn’t an option, and he wasn’t sure who he wanted to talk to in his absence. He looked at his phone, pausing at ‘May’. He still couldn’t bring himself to delete her number. She was always his second choice back when she was alive. She would have been wonderfully useful now, but of course that wasn’t an option. He kept thinking of who else he wanted to talk to. Carol, definitely. But she was unavailable now. He might even consider Thor, but he was off-world now too. There was his colleagues at the hospital, many of which he considered close friends. But none of them were really the right person. They weren’t really involved in his world aside of the hospital and celebrity gossip magazines. Loki sighed, scrolling further, pressing the call button. It was answered within the first few rings.

“Hello?”

“Pepper, hi. It’s Loki. Listen, something happened today. I need to talk to you”

-

Pepper already knew. She’d seen the papers, and Tony had been in touch with the real story. Even so, talking to her about the day helped. He didn’t feel quite so wound up for a while after getting off the phone. He had another drink and locked the front door. He was exhausted, so went into lazy mode and called on FRIDAY to do the rest of shut-down before going to his room. 

He looked at all the pictures on the walls: his Snoopy prints, a collage frame of photos from the honeymoon, another collage frame of holiday photos, the big photo of all four of them; himself, Tony, May, and Peter. He looked at his snow globe collection, and his other little trinkets; holiday souvenirs and little statues and things Peter had given him. He sat on the bed, stroking the silk covers. He looked at the toy snake Peter had made him after he’d first started at St Hendricks, wound round the bedpost, staring at him with its funny button eyes.

Loki picked up the photo frame that sat on his bedside table. He had the same photo on the inside of his locker at the hospital. It was of Tony leant against a tree, with Peter hanging upside down on the the branch. Peter had popped down unexpectedly, catching Tony by surprise, and they were laughing at each other. Tony had that oh-so-familiar funny, loving look in his eyes. He loved Peter with all his heart, Loki knew that. They looked so happy. That was the way they should be.

Loki stared at it until his eyes blurred. He put it back face-down on the bedside table, unable to bear seeing it any longer. The people in that photo weren’t the ones in this house right now. His funny, silly, sweet and cute little son was maybe still all of these things, but he was a tiny toddler, not a teenager. His loving, happy, funny and paternal husband seemed to have been replaced with some sort of lookalike. He didn’t know what to do.

‘Shut up, Loki’ he told himself. ‘You’ve held it in all day, don’t fail now’.

But it wasn’t as easy as that. The more he concentrated on staying calm, the harder it seemed to be. He couldn’t hold it in any longer. He didn’t know what he was supposed to do. He didn’t know if he’d be able to do this, especially not alone. He didn’t know if this could work. He didn’t know anything anymore. And he felt so alone. He was so used to having a bubbly teenage son jumping about and a dependable - if a little reckless - husband he could crawl into bed with. He remembered saying they couldn’t really call Kindsprengen’s ray gun a weapon. He took that back now. He’d completely underestimated the effects this could have. He couldn’t believe this had happened. He just couldn’t.

He covered his mouth with both hands and sobbed. He felt so sick, so hopeless, so clueless. There was nothing he could do to fix this. All he could do was sit and cry, and hope that things would be different in the morning.

*


	6. You Seem So Far Away

-

Loki felt dreadful when he woke up in the morning; exhausted and drained and just plain sad. It only took a few seconds for the events of the previous day to come back to the front of his mind. He checked his phone. It was nearly half nine. He sighed and hauled himself out of bed. He spent a lot longer than usual in the bathroom, zoning out and trying to think of what to do about Tony. 

Eventually he plucked up the courage and went to Peter’s room. The toddler was already up. He’d pulled his quilt and pillows off the bed and set up a nest on the bedroom floor. He’d also tipped up a box of felt pens, knocked over his water jug, and misplaced his pyjama top. He was quite happily making his rocket crash repeatedly into the bedside table.

“Morning daddy!” he said brightly when his bedroom door opened.

“Hello. What the devil have you been doing in here?”

“Playing” Peter said, blinking innocently.

“You’ve made an almighty mess” Loki sighed. 

Peter just carried on what he was doing. Loki went over to the bed, checking the towel. It was dry, thankfully, so he used it to mop up the spilt water.

“Maybe we’ll put this jug in the kitchen. It’s a good job it didn’t smash” Loki said, throwing the towel into the dirty washing basket. “Where’s your shirt?”

Peter looked down at himself, shrugged, and then continued bashing his rocket against the bedside table. Loki snatched it from him.

“Stop it! You silly little creature. Right. If I give this back to you, you need to sit quietly while I tidy up in here, ok?”

Peter nodded, and Loki gave him the rocket back. Loki told himself it could have been far worse: at least he didn’t scribble on the walls or anything like that. He made the bed and tidied away the felt pens. He found the missing pyjama top and shoved it over Peter’s head, forcing his arms back through the sleeves.

“There; now you’re decent” Loki said. “Right. I think it’s breakfast time”

“Ok!” Peter jumped up, rocket tight in his hand. “I want chocolate!”

“You’ll get what you’re given”

Peter gave him such an affronted look that Loki felt bad. He took Peter’s hand, and cleared his throat.

“Let’s go and see what we can find”

-

Loki found the remnants of an ancient jar of Nutella in the back of the cupboard. It was still in date - just - so he stuck it on toast for Peter. It seemed to go down well. The dish the macaroni cheese from the previous night had been in was now washed up by the sink. So, Tony was eating, at least. That had to count for something. Loki stuck the kettle on, got his mug down from the cupboard, and one of Peter’s. He stopped, and slowly put the second mug back, sighing. 

“Sweetheart, what do you want to drink?” Loki asked, grabbing the clean sippy cup from the draining board.

“Juice”

“Ok, but what kind?” Loki said, opening the fridge. “We’ve got apple, orange, cranberry… Your dad’s got some pineapple too, and mango, if you fancy one of those? Or how about pomegranate?”

Peter blinked at him. “Umm”

Loki looked at him. “…Apple?”

Peter nodded. Loki filled the cup for him, screwed the lid on, and gave it to him. 

“What do you say?”

“Thank you”

“You’re welcome. Good boy” 

Loki sorted his mug of tea and a packet of shortbread, and sat at the breakfast bar with Peter.

“FRIDAY, is Tony up?”

“Mr Stark is down in the lab” FRIDAY supplied. “Shall I ask him to join you?”

“No, don’t bother” Loki sighed.

He wasn’t a big fan of the AI, but he supposed it had its uses. He sat zoning out, sipping his tea and nibbling his shortbread.

“Can I have biscuits for breakfast tomorrow?” Peter asked.

“Certainly not” Loki said absentmindedly.

“But  _you_ have biscuits for breakfast!”

“That’s because I’m naughty” Loki said. “Finish your toast”

-

Getting Peter dressed and ready for the day ahead was a challenge. The boy was fine going to the toilet and washing his hands, but he didn’t want to do anything other than that. The first argument surrounded tooth brushing.

“BUT THEN I WON’T BE ABLE TO TASTE CHOCOLATE ANY MORE”

Loki tried being firm, and then he tried reasoning with him. None of these were successful, so he tried bargaining with him.

“I’ll give you some of my shortbread at breakfast tomorrow if you brush your teeth”

Peter brushed his teeth, and even let Loki wash his face. He was good until Loki said he needed to get out of his pyjamas and into his clothes.

“BUT I’LL ONLY BE GETTING THEM BACK ON TONIGHT!” Peter shouted. “I’M NOT GETTING DRESSED”

Reasoning and bargaining weren’t effective this time, which left only one option. Loki got Peter’s clothes ready, removed all of the tags, and grabbed hold of Peter. The boy squeaked and struggled. 

“NO! NO! I DON’T WANT TO! NO!”

“You don’t have a choice, chick” Loki said, keeping a firm hold on him.

“NOOOO!! NO! NO! NO NO NO!”

“I hear you, but it’s my job to look after you, and you need to get dressed” Loki said, taking the boys pyjamas off. “Shush, stop squeaking. Stay still”

“I HATE CLOTHES! I DON’T WANT THEM”

“Peter, darling, if you’re good, this’ll be done quicker, and then you can go and play” 

“I DON’T CARE!”

Loki forced Peter into his knickers and vest, almost biting through his lip as he did so.

“Bloody hell, this should be an Olympic sport” he hissed, adjusting his hold on the little boy. “Stop wiggling!”

Peter stuck his tongue out at Loki and blew a raspberry. 

“Cheeky little blighter” Loki said. “Will you  _please_ stop kicking?! You’re making this incredibly difficult”

“GOOD!” Peter shouted, kicking harder.

Loki trapped him between his thighs and managed to get his t-shirt on him while he was stuck there. Peter howled indignantly, furious to be losing the fight. He thumped his little fists against Loki’s legs.

“LET ME GO!”

Loki released him, but quickly caught him again. 

“NO!”

“ **Yes** ” Loki said. “We still need to put your trousers on”

Peter continued to squawk. Loki put the wriggling little creature on its back on his lap. He held his kicking feet captive in one hand, holding him down with his elbow to keep him still. It was a struggle, but he managed to get the jeans onto the boy. 

“No fair, no fair, NO FAIR!” Peter yelled, tugging at his shirt.

“Don’t you dare” Loki warned. “Now sit down so I can put your socks on”

“NO!” Peter squeaked, and he grabbed his rocket and threw it hard at Loki. 

“OI! You naughty, naughty boy! We don’t throw things at people, do you understand me?!”

Peter stared at him, shocked by his harsh tone, and then promptly burst into tears. Loki glared at the little boy. His hand was shaking, he was angry and upset, and- wait, what was it Tony always did when he was close to losing his temper? Loki stood up and turned away from him, closing his eyes and counting to ten. He took a deep breath and knelt down on the floor.

“I know you’re upset, but I needed to get you properly dressed” Loki said, focusing on his breathing. “Now, are you going to let me put your socks on?”

“Why?!”

“So your feet don’t get cold” 

Peter thought for a moment, nodded slowly, and let Loki put his socks on. He quietened, sniffled, and wiped his face on his arm.

“Can I have my rocket back?”

“Only if you promise you won’t throw it at anyone else”

“Promise! Sorry, daddy”

Loki sighed, and gave the rocket back. “That’s quite alright, chick”

Peter happily hugged the rocket to his chest. He looked so sweet, that Loki could hardly believe he’d been such a little terror mere moments before. He had a feeling it was going to be a long day.

-

Loki turned the telly on so Peter could watch the rest of his DVD. He watched some of it, but he was swapping between the telly and the game he was playing with his rocket. He seemed happy enough where he was, so Loki left him to it. Maybe letting him get on with it was the way to go.

-

Loki was horrified with himself when he woke up. How could he have fallen asleep?! What an idiot! Peter could have been hurt, and it would have been entirely his fault. Mercifully, Peter was fine, playing with his rocket and one of the teddies that lived on the basket by the windowsill. Luckily the basket bears weren’t especially expensive: most of them were chain or charity shop finds. The one Peter had was a simple bear wearing a little jumper with the Union Jack flag on it. The DVD had long since finished, and that worried Loki more, because they’d only been four or five episodes into the DVD at the start, so he must have been asleep for a good couple of hours. He hoped Peter hadn’t left him a broken ornament or scribbled picture on the wallpaper for him to find later on.

“How are you doing down there, chick?”

Peter paused in his game and looked over at him. “Mr Bear isn’t a very good ozzonot”

“An ozzonot?” Loki repeated. “What do you mean?”

“Like this” Peter said, opening the porthole window on his rocket and showing Loki the astronaut behind the flap.

“Oooh! An  _astronaut_ ” Loki said. “I understand now”

Peter giggled, getting up and climbing onto the sofa for a cuddle, which Loki gladly supplied.

“I think you must be ready for your lunch now” he said. “What do you say?”

Before he could respond, he was distracted by Tony coming into the room. 

“Daddy!!” 

His face lit up, and he scurried down from the sofa and over to Tony, holding his arms up to him.

“Daddy, daddy, daddy!!”

Tony ignored him, and looked at Loki. “Did you have any plans for tea tonight?”

“I hadn’t really thought about it” Loki said, glancing at Peter. “Aren’t you going to pick him up? He wants a cuddle”

Tony pretended not to hear that bit. “I’ll have a think while I’m working”

“DADDY!” Peter shouted, clinging to his trousers.

“I’m just grabbing a drink” Tony said, brushing the boys hands off him. “I’ll be in the lab most of the afternoon”

“Tony! You can’t just ignore Peter like that!” 

“I’m busy” Tony said, giving the boy a tiny push back when he tried to grab onto him again.

Peter burst into tears. “Daddy! Daddy!”

“Hey, don’t push him!” Loki snapped. “He just wants a cuddle!”

“I’m busy!” Tony snapped back. “God, what a noise. Can’t you keep him under control??”

Loki couldn’t think of anything to say to that, and Tony left the room quickly. Peter tried to run after him, but Loki stopped him.

“No, darling; stay here” Loki said. 

“I want daddy!” Peter sobbed. 

“I know, but daddy’s being silly” Loki said, kneeling down and holding the toddler at arms length. “Shush now; stop crying”

Peter didn’t. Loki swallowed hard and hugged him close.

“NO! I don’t want you: I want _daddy_! I WANT DADDY!” 

Loki sat down on the sofa, holding him close anyway. Peter sounded so devastated, crying so wretchedly. He wouldn’t calm down, wouldn’t see reason. Loki rocked him and shushed him gently, for all the difference it made. He was reminded of what it was like at the hospital when a sick baby wouldn’t stop crying, and all you could do was hold them close and wait.

-

Loki could take it no longer. He couldn’t stay there all day, with Peter crying his eyes out. He wanted to cry too, but he couldn’t do that either. He stood up.

“Right, let’s go and see daddy”

-

Tony gave Loki quite a horrified look when he stormed into the lab.

“Uh, I thought you were supposed to be the sensible one” Tony said. “You can’t bring that in here”

“‘That’is our son, and he wants you”

“I’m trying to work! I can’t be doing with that screaming. Can’t you shut him up?”

“No, I can’t!” Loki snapped. “But you can”

“Don’t be stupid”

“I’m not being stupid! I’ve been trying to console him for ages, but it’s you he wants; you’re the one who made him cry. Now hug your son”

“No” Tony said. “And don’t try to force me! I’ve got a soldering iron in my hand”

Loki summoned an energy current and struck Tony’s hand with it, making him drop the iron.

“Ow! What are you playing at?”

Loki marched closer. “Hug your son”

“My son’s fifteen”

“Your son  _was_ fifteen, but now he’s three. And he wants you to cuddle him”

Tony scowled. “What part of ‘I’m trying to work’ don’t you understand?”

“What part of ‘your son wants you’ don’t  _you_  understand?”

Tony glared at him, but he took Peter when Loki passed him to him. The boy went quiet almost immediately, settling against Tony’s chest, his little chin on his shoulder. 

“Happy now?”

Loki didn’t say anything. His ears felt fuzzy in the sudden quiet. He looked at Tony and Peter. Usually, when Tony held Peter, he wound his arms right round him, holding him tight, often cradling the back of his head in one hand, kissing him on the cheek and resting their heads together. He wasn’t doing any of these things now. He was holding Peter in place with just his hands, and it looked as though he was craning away from him. There was no feeling in it.

“There, screaming’s stopped. You can take him back now”

Loki sighed, but did so. Peter whined a little.

“Love you daddy!” he said, grinning at Tony. 

Tony sat back down at the workbench, picking up his soldering iron. Loki swallowed, kissing Peter on the cheek.

“Let’s go and get you some lunch, chick” Loki said. “Daddy’s busy”

-

Loki managed to stay calm all through lunch, but sank down onto one of the hallway chairs after putting Peter down for his nap. His eyes welled with tears, and his throat felt tight. He clenched his fists, telling himself he was being silly. He couldn’t help crying. He couldn’t believe how horrible Tony had been to poor little Peter, and how distant and unhelpful he’d been generally. How was he supposed to do this alone? He was still getting his head round what was happened, but he was looking after Peter anyway. Sure, he didn’t really know exactly what he was doing, but he was trying. What choice did he have? He couldn’t do this. He needed his husband by his side, not moping in the lab. He never signed up to be a single parent. This wasn’t right, and it wasn’t fair. But it was what it was, and he had to do the best he could with the hand he’d been dealt.

-

Loki himself moped until Peter woke up from his nap, and then he put on a brave face. He sat on the living room rug, playing little games with the rocket and teddy, doing funny voices and making little jokes to make Peter laugh. He kept looking at the clock on the mantelpiece, wondering when Tony would make another appearance. Maybe he’d have changed his tune by the time he came back upstairs.

-

Loki heard sounds out in the kitchen. He made sure Peter was distracted, and then went to investigate.

“Are you cooking?” he asked uncertainly.

“I’m considering” Tony said. “What haven’t I made for a long time?”

“I’m not sure. Just make sure it’s something Peter can have too”

Tony stopped for a moment. Loki looked at him.

“What?”

“Nothing”

“Don’t ‘nothing’ me”

Tony sighed. “Can’t you make something separate for the toddler?”

“You’re unbelievable” Loki sighed. “You know what, forget it. Just cook for yourself if you’re not going to cook for the whole family”

“Fine then” Tony said, slamming the cupboard door. “I’d rather just have instant noodles and spend the rest of the day working anyway”

“Why don’t you just do that then?” Loki spat. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to get back to our son”

-

Loki waited until he was sure Tony had gone back to the lab, confirmed it with FRIDAY, and then gave Peter a nudge.

“I think we need to think about tea” Loki said.

“Oh”

“Oh indeed” Loki said. “Come along: dinner and bed. That sounds like a good game plan to me”

“I’m only a little bit hungry” Peter said, standing up and taking Loki’s hand.

“That’s ok: we’ll just make you a little dinner then” 

He took him into the kitchen, considering. For some reason he was really craving cheese on toast. He was sure that would be fine for Peter to eat, too.

“What are you making?” Peter asked, watching him grating cheese and lighting the grill.

“Cheese on toast” Loki said. “Now, sweetheart, you’re too close to the grill. Step back a bit”

“Oh” Peter said. “Can I have some cheese?”

Loki cut a slice of cheese from the block, picked Peter up, and took him over to the breakfast bar. He sat him down on his seat.

“Now, I’ll give you this cheese if you promise to stay in your seat”

Peter nodded enthusiastically, and Loki gave it to him.

“Good lad. Tea won’t be long”

-

Loki did them each two slices, which ended up being too much for little Peter, who only managed one slice, and a bite of the second. Loki finished it off for him, but the toddler still managed a little pot of strawberry custard without too much trouble. 

“Ok darling” Loki said once he’d finished tidying the kitchen. “Why don’t we go and finish The Tale of Jemima Puddle-Duck?”

“Ok!” Peter said eagerly, climbing down from his seat. “Story-time!”

“Yep. Come on; let’s go to your room”

-

Peter was much better than the previous night. He brushed his teeth and let Loki clean his face and get him into his pyjamas. He settled down well enough, letting Loki read to him. He stayed awake for the rest of the story. He didn’t really understand what was going on, but he liked all the little pictures. 

“There now” Loki said. “Let’s get you tucked in”

“Is daddy going to come and say goodnight?”

“Not tonight, sweetheart: he’s working” Loki said carefully. “Stop wiggling, little boy!”

Peter cuddled down with his rocket, and he let Loki tuck him in. 

“Good boy” Loki said, kissing him on the cheek. “Now, darling, it’s time to go to sleep”

“Do I have to?”

“Yes” Loki said, turning the nightlight on. “I love you, darling. Goodnight”

“Goodnight..”

-

Loki had a long bath, trying to drown out his thoughts in bubbles and aromatherapy candles. He did manage to relax for a little while. He took his time with everything, even going so far as to towel his hair nearly dry and douse himself in talcum powder. He pulled on a pair of pants and his black silky dressing gown, lay on the bed, and put his headphones on. He was just about to press play when he heard a thump from the other room. He sat up quickly, and heard another thump. Loki threw his headphones down and went back to Peter’s room.

Peter was busy jumping up and down on his rug.

“What on Earth are you doing?”

“Jumping”

“Why?”

“It’s fun”

Loki grabbed hold of him, plonking him back onto the bed. “You should be asleep”

“But I’m not tired”

“You should try to sleep anyway”

“Why?”

“Because it’s late”

Peter pouted. “Not tired”

Loki lay him down and tucked him in. “Stay there. Go to sleep”

Peter sighed, and pulled his rocket close. Loki ruffled his hair and left him to sleep. 

-

Loki fell asleep for a few hours. He felt a little groggy when he got up, and he went out into the hallway. The lights were off, so Tony must have gone to bed too. He went to check on Peter. The little boy wasn’t in his bed. Loki found him in the en suite, squeezing a bottle of shower gel into a box of bath salts. 

“Oh for gods sake” Loki said under his breath.

“Hi” Peter said. 

“What are you doing?” 

Peter paused. “Potion”

“Right, no. What you’ve done is ruined a very expensive box of bath salts, and wasted a near-full bottle of shower gel” Loki scolded, taking the box and bottle from him and putting them in the bathroom bin. “How dare you, you naughty little boy? You should be asleep”

Peter started whimpering. Loki was surprised, and he realised he may have spoken too harshly to him.

“Oh darling, I’m sorry. But you really shouldn’t have done that. You’re supposed to be asleep” 

“I’m not tired!”

Loki sighed, and noticed that the little boys pyjamas were covered in liquid soap and bath salts. 

“Stay here”

He went and found some more pyjamas, and went back to the en suite.

“Ok darling, let’s get you changed out of those dirty pyjamas” Loki said.

“They’re not dirty: it’s soap!”

“Sticky pyjamas, then” Loki said. “Whatever, you need some new ones on. Ah, I think we ought to wash your hands too”

Loki took Peter’s dirty pyjamas off, helped him wash and dry his hands, and then got him into the clean set. 

“There we are” Loki said, standing and lifting the toddler into his arms. “Much better”

He took him back into the bedroom, closing the en suite door tight behind him. 

“Daddy?” Peter said, biting his thumb. “Am I in trouble?”

Loki sighed. “No, sweetheart. But don’t go messing about in the bathroom again, ok?”

Peter nodded. Loki set him back down on the bed.

“Third time lucky”

“What?”

“Nothing, chick. Come on now, bedtime” Loki said. “Lie down”

“No”

“Sweetheart, please. Stop being so difficult” Loki said, pushing him onto his back and trying to put the covers over him.

“Nooo, I want to get up! I want to get  _up_!”

“It’s two in the morning, chick. You should be fast asleep. Even daddy is fast asleep”

Peter whined. “I want my rocket”

Loki tucked the rocket in beside him. “There. Are you going to be a good boy and stay in bed until morning now?”

“Ok. Night-night, daddy”

“Goodnight, Peter”

-

Loki really didn’t want to get up in the morning. Maybe it was the disturbed night, or maybe it was because of Tony, or maybe it was an accumulation of everything. Whatever it was, it meant that getting up didn’t sound like a good idea at all. Still, he managed to drag himself up out of bed, sort himself out, pull his clothes on, and go to get Peter. It was going to be another long day.

-

Tony was just as useless and absent as he’d been the day before. He came and found Loki around five o’ clock that evening. He was in the kitchen getting a drink. Peter was playing in the other room. Loki looked at him quizzically. 

“Why the suit?”

“I’m going out. It’s that thing, remember. It’s been on the calendar for ages”

“What? Wait, you can’t go! I need you here” Loki said, standing up and going over to him. “You never even wanted to go! Please, Tony, don’t go”

“I’m ready now. I’ve told Pepper I’d see her there”

“And what did she say to that?”

“She wasn’t especially pleased” Tony admitted. “I’m going anyway”

“Tony, please. Please…”

Tony kissed him gently on the lips. “See you later”

-

Loki wasn’t sure whether he wanted to punch the wall or throw himself down on his bed and weep. He didn’t have a chance to work it out either, because Peter started calling him. Loki went and found him. 

“What’s the matter, chick? Oh hey, darling, are you crying?!” 

“I fell over!” Peter whimpered. “My knees hurt!”

“Oh darling. Let me have a little look” 

He sat him down on the sofa and rolled his little trouser legs up.

“They’re a little bit red, but you haven’t grazed or cut yourself” Loki said. “You’ll be fine, sweetheart”

“Can you kiss them better?”

Loki paused for a moment, and then did as Peter asked. He rolled his trouser legs back down and gave him a cuddle.

“Better?”

“Mm-hm” 

Loki kissed him on the cheek. “What do you want for tea tonight, darling?”

“Don’t know”

“Never mind, darling. We’ll think of something”

-

Meal times were hard. Tony usually did the cooking, so Loki didn’t often think about it. Besides, he was drained, and he didn’t really feel like spending ages cooking. He simply served Peter tomato soup with buttered bread, and a little bowl of ice cream for pudding. He just had the same. 

“I think we should give you a bath, chick” Loki said after tea. 

“Why?” 

“Because you need a wash”

“Why?”

“You just do. Now. Bath time”

“You’ll have to catch me first!”

Peter jumped down from his seat, and ran.

-

Loki humoured him, letting him outrun him for a while. He soon shot out onto the landing. He was laughing, looking behind him and not at where he was going. He was dangerously close to the stop of the stairs.

“PETER, WAIT!”

Loki jumped, grabbing Peter round the chest just in the nick of time. He sat down heavily, clinging to Peter, his heart thudding in his chest. He felt sick. 

“…Daddy?”

Loki turned him round. “You don’t  _ever_  go that near to the top of the stairs, ok?! If I hadn’t been here, you would have fallen and you could have gotten seriously hurt!”

“Sorry, daddy” 

Loki took a very deep breath. He kissed Peter hard on the cheek and stood up, putting him down at a safe distance. He turned back to the staircase. He concentrated, one hand held up in support while he moved the other in slow circles. A strange swirly green light lit up the space from the top of the stairs to the ceiling, before flashing white and finally turning clear. Peter watched with interest.

“There” Loki said, lowering his hands. “You won’t be at risk of falling anymore”

Peter toddled forwards, holding his hands out. As he got to the top of the stairs, his hands hit the seal and wouldn’t go any further, no matter how hard he pressed. He pouted, turning back to retrieve his rocket. 

“Bath time?”

Loki nodded. “Bath time”

-

Loki carefully monitored the water temperature as he ran the bath, adding some of the kiddie bubble bath they’d bought. He found the new bath toys, and set them by the bath. He lined the kiddie toiletries up on the edge of the bath so he wouldn’t have to turn around hunting for them. Once the bath had run, he took Peter’s rocket from him.

“Hey!”

“Shh, it’s ok. We’re just sticking him up on his launch pad” Loki said, putting it up on the empty soap dish. “Right, let’s get you undressed. Arms up”

Peter let himself get undressed. Loki prepared himself for some screaming when he lifted him into the bath, but Peter didn’t make a sound. He settled quite happily in the water, plunging his hands into the mound of bubbles. 

“That bubble stuff is more potent than I anticipated” Loki said. “Ah well”

“Bath snow” Peter said, getting lots of bubbles in his hands and clapping, so that it splattered all about. “Bath snow!”

Loki laughed a little. “Why don’t you play with some of your new bath toys?”

He handed a boat and a couple of little ducks to him. Peter dropped the ducks into the water, but kept hold of the boat. He went to stand up - and slipped. Loki grabbed him quickly.

“Woah there! Ah, maybe I’ll have to buy a bath mat” he said, gently setting Peter back down in the water. “Are you ok?”

Peter still had a little shocked look on his face. “Um.. Um..”

“Shh, you’re alright” Loki kissed him gently on the cheek. “I’m going to keep my hand on your back like this, ok? Just so you don’t slip again”

Peter nodded, sticking the bow of the plastic boat into his mouth. He still looked a little shaken.

“Alright, chick” Loki said softly. “Let’s get you clean”

Loki was always careful when washing Peter, but he was even more careful now, especially since he was one-handed. He washed him with a soft new sponge, rinsing him carefully. Shielding Peter’s eyes was pretty easy now he was so tiny, but he still took extra care to keep soap and water out of his eyes. Peter was very good while he was being washed, and quickly went calm, daydreaming and chewing on his boat.

“There we are” Loki said, giving him a final rinse. “You’re all squeaky clean and lovely now. Now, lets get you out and dry and powdered and ready for bed, ok?”

“I don’t want to” Peter said, putting the boat on the water and grabbing one of the little ducks. “I wanna play”

Loki paused. “Alright darling, you can play. But just for a little bit, ok?”

Peter nodded, already starting a game. Loki still kept a hand on his back to support him. He watched Peter’s game, listening to his little voice. As far as he could tell, the duck was a sailor, trekking through the bath snow. Loki watched him for a while. It was quite endearing. He was a cute little kid, he really was. Loki couldn’t  _help_ missing big Peter, but little Peter was rather lovely too. He loved him, and he vowed to do his absolute best by him until a reversal to Kindsprengen’s ray gun was found.

-

Peter was good and calm while he was wrapped up in his towel. As soon as he’d been dried and Loki let go of him, he went a bit silly, running around with his rocket and giggling. When Loki caught him and started rubbing him with baby powder, he started laughing like it was the funniest thing ever, laughing so hard that for a while he wasn’t making any noise at all. Loki laughed too.

“You are a silly little boy, aren’t you?” Loki grinned. “In fact, you might even be the silliest”

“And the softest!” 

“Ok, I’ll give you that one, fluffy” he said, ruffling the boys damp curls. “Pyjama time”

Peter jumped up, running to one of the storage boxes and pulling out the bear onesie.

“Teddy bear, teddy bear, teddy bear!” 

Loki laughed. “Ok, you can be a fluffy teddy tonight”

Peter was still very wiggly, but Loki managed to get him into the teddy onesie. He put the hood up.

“Aww! You’re so cute!”

Peter giggled, dancing excitedly on his little feet. Loki tickled his tummy, and Peter squeaked and giggled, knocking into him. As he did so, Loki’s phone fell out of his pocket.

“Camera! Camera!” Peter said, pointing.

“No, sweetie, that’s a phone” Loki said, picking it up. 

“Camera! Selfie! Selfie, daddy!”

“Well. It  _does_ have a camera on it..” Loki said, opening the camera on the phone. 

Peter crawled onto Loki’s lap, and Loki held him close. Loki hesitated, and then switched the front facing camera on, and held it up. Peter giggled and clapped delightedly. Loki took the picture, and then lowered the phone. He smiled to himself. Oddly, it was quite nice having a photo with tiny Peter.

-

Peter must have tired himself out, because he went to bed with no fuss that night, which gave Loki a little time to himself. He spent a little while watching telly, but then he heard the door leading to the garage. He waited, and Tony stumbled into the room. 

“Hey, gorgeous” Tony grinned. “Are you alone?”

“Of course?” Loki said. “Are you drunk?”

“Well, maybe just a little bit” Tony admitted, flopping down beside him on the sofa and throwing an arm round his shoulders. “Don’t worry; I didn’t drive”

“I can’t believe you went” Loki said, folding his arms over his chest. “How could you just leave, what with everything that’s going on right now?”

“Oh Loki, don’t start. Come on, smile! Why don’t we spend a little time together? You could put on that little outfit I like?” he suggested.

“You are absolutely unbelievable” Loki snapped, shoving Tony away from him. “I can’t believe the way you’ve been acting! You were horrible to Peter, and you haven’t been great to me either. He’s your son too. Don’t you know how hard this is for me?”

“Hey, I lost our teenager too” Tony frowned. “I know it’s horrible and scary and painful”

“Yes, ok, but you haven’t been trying to look after a toddler single-handedly with little to no experience. You’re my husband: I shouldn’t have to act like a a single parent. I shouldn’t be doing this alone!”

“Don’t you think you’re overreacting a bit? I got all that stuff when we went shopping, didn’t I?”

“Paying for things doesn’t equate to parenting” Loki said. “Tony, I need you to try! Peter loves you; you’re his favourite parent. It’s always been that way. You absolutely broke his heart when you ignored him. You need to help look after him. I love him, but I can’t do this alone”

“Don’t be ridiculous, I’m no deadbeat dad” Tony insisted. “You’re the one who works with kids-”

“Babies” Loki corrected. “And older kids on my sabbatical. I’m not exactly an expert on toddlers”

“Whatever; you’re a natural with kids. Stop whining”

“Whining?  _Whining_? For gods sake Tony! We’re supposed to be a team!” Loki shouted, standing up. “We always work together; that’s what our relationship has always been; a partnership! We’ve got a son together, and we’ve always looked after him together, so you need to step up and help take care of him until Thor brings us a reversal. This isn’t something you have any choice in”

“This is ridiculous!” Tony growled, standing up. “I’ve had a long day, I-”

“ _You’ve_ had a long day? YOU have had a long day?! You don’t know what a long day is!”

“I don’t have time for this! I’m going to bed!” Tony grabbed Loki by the collar, kissed him hard on the lips, and stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

*


	7. Only A Week Since We Started

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Btw, as is usual of my works, if anyone can guess the connection between the chapter titles, I'll give you a oneshot fic of your request. It's really obvious this time around, whoops

-

By Saturday, Loki was feeling completely burned out. He’d been looking after Peter pretty much on his own for almost a week, and he was exhausted. In some ways, it was getting easier: he knew Peter’s quirks and he’d figured out a routine for him. But he and Tony barely talked, and Tony was still essentially pretending all this wasn’t happening. It was easy to feel isolated, even with a talkative toddler around.

-

Loki’s phone rang.

“Hello?”

“Hey Loki. It’s Clint”

“Oh!”

“I said I’d call in about a week. How’s it going?”

“Ah” Loki said, glancing over at Peter, who was busy scribbling on an old newspaper with wax crayons. “Well. Peter’s doing ok. He seems healthy and happy enough”

“And Tony?”

Loki went quiet. He wasn’t sure how to put it.

“That bad, eh?” Clint said. 

“He’s been awful” Loki said. “I’ve never seen him like this”

“What, is he panicking?”

“A bit”

“What’s he been like? Giving the kid coffee? Refusing to stick to bedtime?”

“I’d prefer that, honestly” Loki sighed heavily. “He’s been useless. He’s basically ignored Peter all week. He won’t do anything for him. He won’t help put him to bed or bath him, he won’t play with him, he won’t hug him. Heck, he won’t even talk to him most of the time. It’s upsetting Peter, and it’s upsetting me. I want to kill him”

“You’re joking, right?”

“I wish I was” Loki said grimly. “I’ve barely seen him. I honestly don’t know what I can do about it. I’m going to burn out, and if that happens, where does that leave Peter?”

“You’ve got people who will help, but Tony needs to step up”

“I know, but it doesn’t matter what I say, he won’t put in the effort. For the first few days he wouldn’t even cook for him. He’s got better there; he’s been cooking in the evenings, making stuff Peter can eat, but that’s about it. He won’t do anything for him directly”

“Can I offer some advice?” 

Loki sighed. “Sure. I suppose it couldn’t hurt”

“You need to give him a good kick. Metaphorically speaking” Clint said. “You’ve gotta force him into it”

“And how exactly do you suggest I do that?”

“Don’t give him any choice in the matter” Clint said. “Find him, tell him that tonight, you’re having some time for yourself, and so he’ll need to look after Peter”

“I don’t think that will go down too well”

“Doesn’t matter. Let him whine and bitch about it, but keep to your word. Don’t step in at all after you’ve gone off for your me time. Don’t give him any option but to step up and be a dad” 

Loki thought for a moment. “Would that work?”

“Only one way to find out” Clint said. “There’s no reason for you to act single parent. So, Tony being a twat aside, how’s parenting a toddler going?”

“Being a parent is hard, I always knew that, but parenting a toddler is hard in a different way. It’s a whole different ball game. He’s not a bad kid. He’s a wiggly little thing, but he’s not so mischievous as I expected. He’s quite good, really. He’s really funny” Loki laughed slightly. “He’s a strange little thing, but he’s so cute. Unbelievably cute. He’s always laughing”

“Aww, I’m glad he’s well-behaved. No major incidents then? Any spider powers?”

“Thankfully not!” Loki said. “I don’t know how I’d cope with a toddler who could literally climb walls. I don’t know why he doesn’t have the powers, but, well, he doesn’t. As for incidents… Well. He ruined a box of bath salts, and he made an almighty mess of his room after that first night, but thankfully those are the main ones so far. He’s quite easy to distract with his rocket and a DVD, fortunately. All the other things that have gone wrong are just general kids stuff, I think, or errors on my part”

“Bless! He did look mighty cute cuddled up to that rocket when I saw him. So, what does he fuss about? All mine hated something at that age. How is he with baths?”

“Well, we nearly had a disaster the first time, but I invested in a non-slip mat, so we’ve had no repeats. But no, he’s fine with baths. He likes playing with his little boats and ducks. He’s not a huge fan of bedtime, though” Loki stopped a moment. “Ah. Maybe I shouldn’t give Tony that kick”

“Don’t turn into a pushover now, Loki. Tony’s more than capable of putting your kid to bed. He’ll have to learn somehow. He’ll probably be fine and know exactly what to when he’s in the situation, even if he insists beforehand that he doesn’t know what he’s doing. What if Peter’s a toddler for six months? Do you really want to struggle through everything on your own?”

“Mm, good point” Loki sighed. “I’ll do it. I’m just exhausted after this week”

“Where’s the kid now?”

“He’s in here with me”

“What’s he doing?”

“Drawing on a newspaper. I ought to get him some notebooks or colouring books… He doesn’t have much to do, Clint, and that worries me. Tony didn’t want to listen when I mentioned about getting him more toys. He’s got his cuddlies, and his bath toys, but that’s about it. He’s going to get bored soon”

“Yeah, and a bored toddler is a nightmare toddler, believe me. Can’t you go and get him stuff yourself? Or order stuff online?”

“I’d like to let him choose. Plus, it’d annoy Tony. And more importantly, I can’t really get there”

“What, the big toy shops?”

“Well, I can get there, but you really need a car if you’re buying lots of things, and I’ve not got a license for Tony’s motors: only my motorbike. I can’t exactly stick Peter on that. I need Tony helping”

“When Tony’s settled and started pulling his weight, get onto him about it”

“It might be ages. I don’t know if he’ll step up”

Clint cleared his throat. “Hey, can I visit? I’ll bring him something to play with if Tony’s still being a dick in a couple of days”

“I’ll have to get back to you on that one. I’m not too sure about having visitors while things are so tense here: it might just make Tony kick off more” 

“Ok, well, keep me updated. I care about the kid; we all do” Clint said. “I mean what I said: I’ll help. Give Peter a little hug from me, ok?”

“I will. Listen, thanks for checking in. I do appreciate it. It’s been very isolating, this week”

“Yeah, I get it” Clint said. “It must be weird, losing all those conversations and jokes you had with Peter. Before the whole ray gun thing. And being on bad terms with Tony? You two are always so close; it’s weird thinking about you two being annoyed at each other. Kick him into gear tonight, and it’ll be fine”

“I’ll give it a good go. I’d enjoy an evening reading and an early night or something like that. Tony’s going to have to sort himself out sooner or later. I’ve already had to blow off the hospital”

“What, really?!”

“Yes, I rang them, and of course they know what’s happened, but I told them anyway, and said I wouldn’t be in for the foreseeable future. I had a feeling Tony wouldn’t be up to looking after a child he’d been ignoring while I disappeared in my scrubs… Clint, if I tell you something, it stays between us, doesn’t it?”

“Oh yeah, definitely. I still value my life” 

Loki laughed slightly. “Good. Now, this is going to sound really bad, and it’s nothing I’ve ever thought before, but… Right now? I don’t trust Tony with Peter”

Clint was quiet for a moment. “I don’t blame you. You’re both scared. See how you feel tomorrow morning. Force Tony to take the reins for tonight. Say goodnight to Peter, and make yourself scarce for the evening. And report back to me: I wanna know if my idea pays off”

“Ok, ok. I’ll do it, for myself as well as the family"

“Good. Kick that stubborn bastard into shape. He’s a good dad. Make him remember that”

Loki nodded. “Yeah, yeah, he can’t slack off forever”

“Daddy, daddy!” Peter was suddenly in front of him, tugging at his trouser leg. “Daddy!”

“Hold on a second, Clint” Loki lowered the phone. “What’s the matter, chick?”

“Thirsty! I need a drink” 

“Ok sweetheart, just a second” he put the phone back to his ear. “I’ve got to go”

“I heard. You get off. Talk to you later”

“Yes, talk to you later. Goodbye”

“Bye!”

He put the phone down, and picked Peter up, giving him a cuddle.

“This is from Uncle Clint” he said. “He told me to give you a hug from him”

“Oh!” Peter giggled. “Uncle Clint!”

“He might come for a visit in a few days” Loki said, setting Peter down, standing up, and taking his hand. “Let’s go and get you a drink, little pal”

“Apple juice!”

“I don’t think we’ve got any left, darling” Loki said. “How about something else? How about… chocolate milkshake?”

“Wow! Yes please!”

Loki smiled, squeezing Peter’s hand. “Ok, chicken. Let’s get you sorted”

-

Loki put Peter down for his nap, and then went to find Tony. 

“Hello, gorgeousness” Tony said. “What’s up?”

“I’m having some time to myself tonight” Loki said. “After tea, the evenings mine”

“Ok” Tony said. 

“Which means you’ll have to look after Peter” Loki continued. “Give him his bath and put him to bed and stuff”

“Right”

Loki nodded. “Right. Ok. Good. I’ll see you in a bit”

“See you in a bit”

-

Loki was true to his word. Once he’d finished eating, he put the dirty plates and cutlery by the sink, and put the kettle on. He made himself a mug of tea, and shoved a packet of chocolate chip shortbread into his pocket. 

“Right, that’s me” he said.

“What?!” Tony said. “What do you mean?”

“Well, like I said earlier; I’m having an evening to myself” he kissed Tony on the cheek, and gave Peter a little cuddle. “Goodnight, chick. You be good for daddy”

“Wait, Loki-”

“Remember he needs his bath tonight. Goodnight, darlings. See you in the morning” Loki trilled, and he swept out of the room quickly.

Tony froze, looking at the tiny boy diagonally across from him at the breakfast bar. The little boy looked back at him. Tony stood up quickly and went over to the sink, turning the taps on. He watched the water gushing into the washing up bowl, and heard a thump. He spun round quickly, and found that Peter had fallen off his seat while trying to get down. The little boy started howling. 

“LOKI?!” Tony called, but of course received no answer. 

Tony bit his lip, unsure what to do. He knew one thing; he couldn’t deal with that squealing. He went over to the boy, standing above him.

“Are you going to stay there all night?” 

Peter just kept crying. He had a red mark on his forehead where he’d hit the tiles. Tony hoicked the boy up with an arm round the chest, and marched off to the room with the reading nook.

Loki glared at him when he came in.

“He’s hit his head” Tony said, thrusting the boy at him. 

Tony turned on his heel. Loki thrust a hand out quickly, and the door slammed shut.

“Don’t you dare walk away” Loki hissed. He looked back at Peter. “Let’s have a little look at you, sweetheart”

He checked Peter’s head, and after a little kiss and a cuddle, the boy stopped crying. Loki kissed him once more, and then stood up, putting Peter back in Tony’s arms. 

“There. Now, if you’d happily excuse me, I’d like to be left undisturbed for the rest of the night”

-

Tony put Peter down at the first opportunity. Peter found his rocket and quite happily played in the kitchen while Tony was doing the washing up. Tony took his time, wondering how dire the consequences would be if he simply put the toddler in with Loki and locked himself in the lab for the rest of the night. But Loki had been cross with him all week anyway, and he didn’t really want to risk a major fight. And he supposed there was no harm in his husband having a quiet evening. At least, he couldn’t think of any good reason to pull him out of it. He certainly couldn’t say he had to help look after the kid, not after he himself hadn’t done anything of the sort ever since the accident. That wasn’t ideal.

-

Once Tony had finished sorting the kitchen, he turned to the little boy. Peter had gotten hold of a wooden spoon, and was busy pushing his rocket round the kitchen with it.

“Loki- uh, daddy said you need a bath tonight” Tony said, not quite looking at the boy. 

Peter stopped what he was doing. “Why?”

Tony shrugged. “He just did. Probably better to get it over and done with. Come on”

Peter dropped the spoon and picked up his rocket. 

“Uh. Right. Let’s- let’s go to your room, to your bathroom” Tony said. 

“Why?”

“Because it’s bath time”

“Why?”

“Because it is. Stop asking silly questions and come with me”

Peter trotted after him, humming happily to himself. He stood bouncing on the balls of his feet when they got to the en suite, watching Tony. Tony didn’t feel great. He was kind of nervous. He’d bathed Peter before - big Peter. He wasn’t sure how different it would be bathing a toddler. He’d avoided him a lot, and he hadn’t talked much with Loki, so he wasn’t sure if he was a pain in the arse or not. He looked at the kiddie toiletries lined up on the edge of the bath. He looked at the duck-patterned anti-slip mat in the bath. He looked at the little basket of bath toys on the floor by the bath. He sighed, put the plug in, and turned the taps on. 

“I need a wee”

Tony turned round. “What?”

“I SAID, I need a WEE!”

“Oh. Uhh, ok, I’ll step out for a moment” Tony said, and wasted no time in doing so. 

He looked down at his feet as he stood outside the bathroom. He looked around the room. It was still Peter’s, with the big elephant and the trophies and photos and the school satchel in the corner. But along with all the normal Peter things, there were the two boxes of kids clothes. There were tiny slippers by the bed, tiny pyjamas folded at the end of it, a kids blanket, a tiny dressing gown hanging over the normal one on the back of the bedroom door, wax crayons littered on the floor, and a sippy cup on the bedside table. It was still all so strange and scary and weird. 

-

Peter started chattering to Tony when he came back into the en suite and turned the bath taps off. Tony didn’t really listen to anything he was saying, too deep in thought, still not entirely accepting what had happened to his son.

“Bath’s ready” he said.

Peter put his rocket down, and peered over the edge of the bath.

“There’s no snow” he said, plunging his arms into the water.

“Hey! You’ve still got your shirt on!” Tony snapped, pulling him back. “Yuck. You’ve absolutely soaked yourself”

Peter didn’t seem to care. He picked his rocket back up. Tony sighed irritably. 

“Whatever. Get your clothes off”

“What about my rocket?”

“What about it?”

“He needs to go on his launch pad”

Tony blinked at him. “What?”

“His launch pad! Up there!” Peter pointed at the soap dish. 

It took a moment for him to click. He took the toy rocket, and put it up on the soap dish. Peter smiled happily. 

“Right. Clothes”

“Um…”

Peter looked down at himself, shuffling on his feet. Tony sighed.

“What?”

Peter blinked at him. Tony sighed again, and tugged the boys clothes off impatiently. Peter squeaked and whined.

“Stop whimpering” Tony said. “It’s only a bath”

“It’s a rubbish bath! It doesn’t even have any snow!”

Tony ignored him. He grabbed the boy under the arms and put him into the bath. Peter squawked at him. 

“Too hot!”

“Don’t be silly”

“IT’S TOO HOT!!” Peter yelled, trying to scramble out of the bath. “TOO HOT, TOO HOT, TOO HOT!!!”

Tony growled in annoyance, grabbing the boy and plonking him down on the bathroom mat. He turned the cold tap back on.

“Stop squeaking”

“TOO HOT!”

“You’re not even in it anymore” Tony grumbled, sticking his hand into the bath.

Hmm. It was quite hot further down. Maybe it really was too hot for the little tyke. He kept the cold water running until he was sure it had cooled throughout, and then he turned the tap off.

“Right, it’s not hot now” he said, taking hold of Peter.

Peter squealed. “No! No, don’t want to! Too hot, too hot!”

“I’ve just put cold in it!” Tony said, forcing the wriggling toddler back into the water.

Peter still squealed a moment longer, but then went quiet when he realised it wasn’t too hot anymore. Tony grabbed a beaker and filled it from the bath. He put a hand on Peter’s forehead, shielding his eyes, tipped his head back, and poured the water over his head. Peter squeaked indignantly, bringing his little hands down on the surface of the water, splashing Tony.

“Hey!” Tony said, drawing back. “Don’t do that!”

Peter did it again. And again. Tony grabbed his wrists.

“I said don’t!”

Peter shook his head vigorously, spraying Tony with water that way. Tony let go of him, grabbing a towel to dry his face and dab ineffectively at his damp shirt. 

“Thanks for that” he grumbled. “I need to wash you, so stay still”

“No! Staying still is boring!”

Tony glared at him, and then remembered the little box of bath toys. He took the big yellow rubber duck from the top, and handed it to the toddler.

“Here”

Peter took it in both hands, and promptly stuck its beak in his mouth. He went quiet, looking up at Tony with his big puppy-dog eyes.

“Aww” Tony said, before he could stop himself. “You’re actually kinda sweet when you’re quiet…”

Peter didn’t say anything. Tony hesitantly reached out, shielding the boys eyes with his hand again and tipping his head back.

“Stay still, ok?”

“Ok, daddy” Peter said, a little indistinct as he was still chewing on his toy.

Tony poured another cup of water over the boys head, and then reached for the bottle of shampoo. Peter was good while Tony washed his hair, distracted by the duck, which was still in his mouth. He whined a little when Tony rinsed the suds, but he didn’t make a big fuss. Tony breathed out in relief.

“There” Tony said, letting go of the boy and setting the beaker down. “Uhh. Right…” 

He picked up the new sponge and body wash. He could feel Peter watching him, which was a little off-putting. Maybe this was the bit of the bath the boy didn’t like. Tony prepared himself for screaming and squeaking and shouting, and began to wash the boy. 

Peter didn’t scream. He didn’t squeak, and he didn’t shout. He stayed perfectly quiet, letting himself be washed, and staring up at his dad intently. 

“There, that was ok, wasn’t it?” Tony said, once he’d finished. 

Peter took the ducks beak out of his mouth. “Yep”

“Yeah… Ok. Uh…” he looked at the bottles by the bath, thinking. “What else do we need to do?”

“Play”

Tony looked at him. “What?” 

“Play!” Peter repeated. “I wanna play!”

“Oh. Uh, well, I guess that’s ok..” he picked up a plastic boat and a rubber fish from the basket, and put them in the water. 

“I need another boat”

Tony gave him one, and then unfolded the little old folding chair and sat on it. He watched Peter playing. It was quite funny to see his little game, and hear the different voices he gave the different toys. Tony still didn’t exactly want to be there, but at least he had a relatively good kid to look after, and not a total screaming nightmare. He just had to get through the evening, and then the responsibility would be back over to Loki.

-

Tony hoicked Peter out of the bath and wrapped a towel round him. 

“Ok, right. I think it’s bedtime next”

“No it’s not!” Peter said. 

“Isn’t it?”

Peter shook his head. “It’s too early!”

Tony checked his watch. “Mm. I thought it was later, since we had that early tea. Uh. Maybe you should get into your pyjamas anyway”

“I wanna play”

“Right. Pyjamas first. So, uh, we need to get you dry”

He knelt down, taking the towel from round the boy and using it to rub him dry. Peter whined and wriggled a bit, especially while Tony was doing his hair. Tony tried to ignore him. He dragged a comb through the boys hair, which Peter made clear he hated, and then he released him, standing up.

“There, that’ll do” Tony said. “Now, uh, you stay here”

“Why??” Peter whined, still a little cross about how rough Tony had been while doing his hair. 

“I need to find you some pyjamas”

“Oh” Peter said, thinking for a moment. “I wanna wear the teddy one!” 

Tony remembered it. “Right”

“I need my rocket”

“Not until you’re decent”

“What does that mean?”

“Clothed” Tony said. “Stay right there; I’ll just be a minute”

Peter looked round the bathroom while Tony was gone. Other daddy always got out the big bottle of powder after baths, so Peter thought he’d help this daddy and find it. The trouble was, Peter couldn’t see it anywhere. It must be in the other room. The bathroom door had been left ajar, so he slipped out into the bedroom.

“Hey, I told you to stay put!” Tony snapped. 

“But it’s not in there!”

“What’s not in there?”

“The bottle”

“What bottle?!” Tony asked, starting to get agitated. 

“The big bottle of soft snow!”

“I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about”

Peter pouted, jumping about and trying to see if it was on the top of one of his cabinets.

“For gods sake, stop thumping about like that! Come here; let’s get this on you”

“But what about the SNOW?!”

Tony took a very deep breath, and cleared his throat. “Tell me about this ‘snow’”

“Daddy uses it after bath time” Peter said. “It’s soft and white and makes you look all pale”

“Oh!” Tony said, clicking. “I think you mean baby powder”

He spotted the bottle on top of one of the cabinets, and took it down. He showed it to Peter.

“This?”

Peter nodded. “Soft snow!”

“Right. Uh, I don’t really think… Ok, powder and then pyjamas, I suppose”

“I wanna be a teddy bear!”

“Whatever, just hold still for a minute”

Tony still felt like he had absolutely no idea what he was doing. He never used talc himself, so he wasn’t sure how much to use. As it happened, he ended up using far too much. Peter found it hilarious. He giggled like anything, clapping his little hands and dancing on his little feet.

“Snowstorm, snowstorm, snowstorm!” he chanted.

“Yeah, we’ll not use so much next time” Tony said, closing the bottle of powder and putting it back where he’d found it. “Right, uh, pyjamas”

“TEDDY BEAR!”

“Keep your voice down! Ok, teddy bear” he quickly found the onesie. “Ok, lets get you into this”

“TEDDY B-”

“Hey, I said keep your voice down! Now zip it”

Peter blinked at him, and stayed quiet while Tony got him into his nightclothes. Tony put the toddlers hood up.

“Oh wow. You’re… You’re really cute, aren’t you?”

“Guess what time it is!”

Tony blinked at him. “What?”

“Bear hug time!” Peter giggled, stretching his arms out. 

Tony looked at him, at this funny little toddler with bright eyes and fluffy damp curls. Slowly, he held his arms out, and the toddler fell into them, giggling happily. He hesitated, and then held him close. He felt so tiny. He was small and soft and sweet - but this wasn’t the person Tony had adopted, and Tony couldn’t shake that thought. He let go of the toddler quickly.

“Go play for a bit before bed” he said, standing up.

“Ok!” Peter grinned. “Can I have my rocket now?”

Tony went into the bathroom, grabbing the rocket toy and taking it back to him. Peter took it, hugging it to his chest, giggling.

“Thank you!”

Tony swallowed. “Right. Let’s go to the living room. You can play in there for a while”

Peter held his hand out to Tony. 

“You don’t need me holding your hand” Tony said, not quite looking at him. “You can just follow me”

Peter didn’t let it phase him. He just nodded, and trotted along with his rocket, making his funny little rocket noises. Tony tried not to look at him, tried not to listen to him. He felt all mixed up and weird, and he didn’t like it, not one bit.

-

Peter played quite boisterously. Tony didn’t really pay any attention. He flicked through the camera roll on his phone distractedly, looking at pictures of Peter - teenage Peter,  _his_ Peter - and feeling very lost indeed. 

By the time Tony was brought out of his deep thoughts, it was nearly nine o’ clock. He looked at the toddler, who was still playing, but quietly now. He was looking very sleepy. 

“I think it’s bedtime” Tony said.

Peter looked up, nodding. He looked incredibly cute, and Tony found he couldn’t deny that - or the warm feeling in his chest when he looked at him. He lifted the boy into his arms, rubbing his back gently.

“I think you’ve tired yourself out”

“I’m not a bit tired” Peter yawned.

“You just keep telling yourself that”

Tony carried him to his room. He pulled the covers back, and carefully set him down in the middle of the bed, wary that he might fall out if he put him on one side of the bed instead. Peter looked up at him, his little nose wrinkling as he yawned again. He cuddled up with his rocket.

“There we go” Tony said, tucking the covers round him. 

“Daddy?”

“Shh. It’s time to sleep”

“Daddy, I love you”

Tony looked at him, really looked at him. He could really see his Peter in this little boy, and that made the whole thing all the more difficult. He was gentle, and cute, and Tony hated that. He didn’t want to accept what had happened. He wanted his son back, his fifteen year old son. But now he had this toddler. He’d secretly been quite proud of himself for managing to avoid him as long as he did. But now he was face to face with him. He’d had to look after him, watch him play, get him washed and into his pyjamas and into bed, actually interact with him and see what he was like. And as much as he hated to admit it, he knew this little kid was weaseling his way into his heart. He didn’t feel ready for that. He hadn’t adopted a toddler - how could he possible parent one? How could he act like he hadn’t lost his little boy? Ok, so he was still here, physically (although small), but he wasn’t here in any other way. He’d been right to fear Kindsprengens gun. 

He swallowed, and very gently kissed the toddler on the forehead.

“Go to sleep”

-

Loki was just coming out of his en suite, towel round his shoulders, when Tony came into his bedroom. Loki sighed, assuming he was going to try to rope him back into childcare.

“Hi”

Tony’s eyes welled with tears. Loki looked at him, and saw that his shoulders had started to shake.

“Tony?! Oh Tony, hey! Oh darling!”

He put his hands on Tony’s shoulders. Tony threw his arms round Loki, burying his face in his shoulder. Loki hesitated, surprised, and then held him tight.

“Oh darling” Loki said, resting his head against Tony’s. “What is it? It’s ok; I’ve got you”

Tony couldn’t speak. He clung to Loki desperately, and he sobbed and sobbed, and sobbed.

*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had planned a completely different ending to this chapter, but hey, that's showbiz


	8. Make Your Choice But Believe Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The offer of a fic for anyone who can guess the connection between the chapter titles is still open.
> 
> I am also open for mini fic requests/ideas generally atm, so feel free to suggest anything alongside your comments!

-

Once Tony had started to quieten, Loki held him at arms length.

“You need to talk to me”

Tony could barely look at him. He kept his eyes cast down, looking at the silken bed sheets, touching them gently.

“…I can’t do this”

“You don’t have a choice” Loki said. “You know you don’t”

“I miss my little boy” Tony said, and collapsed back into sobs, falling against Loki’s chest again. “I want my son back!”

Loki held him close. “We still have a son. There’s still a little boy here who needs us”

“It’s not the same, you know it’s not! I never adopted a toddler! I want  _our_ Peter back; our funny teenager” Tony pulled away from him, but kept his hands on his arms. “I don’t want that toddler! The only babies I want are our teenage son, and the baby we’re going to make with the help of the clinic”

Loki stopped. He’d been too busy looking after toddler Peter to even think about the clinic. Obviously it would have to be put on hold. Again. They couldn’t very well go for testing and start planning properly for a baby when they had a toddler and a reversal gun to think about. Loki swallowed hard.

“We don’t have either of those things right now. We’ve got a toddler in the next room who needs us”

“I can’t do this. I can’t do this, I can’t do this!”

“Yes, you can” Loki said. “You  _can_ , and you will. You’re not doing it alone”

Tony shook his head. “I miss him… I miss our boy!”

“So do I. I miss teenager Peter too, but teenage Peter isn’t here. But toddler Peter is, and he needs us, Tony. He needs both of us” 

“This isn’t right! It’s all so wrong!” Tony covered his mouth with his hands. “I thought I’d cried all this out, but-… Loki, it’s not fair! You said I was silly to be scared about Kindsprengen’s gun, but I was, and this is exactly why! I never wanted this to happen; it should never have happened! It’s all my fault-!”

“No, it’s not” Loki said, taking hold of Tony by the shoulders. “It was an accident. He dropped the gun, he grabbed the wrong bit when he caught it, it was facing the wrong way… It was no one’s fault”

“You don’t get it! I was the one who made him jump! I’m the reason he dropped the gun; I’m the reason he had to catch it, the reason he pressed the trigger, the reason all this happened! Our son’s gone and it’s all my fault!”

“He’s not gone. He’s just small now” Loki said tearfully, pulling him close, holding him just as desperately as Tony was holding him. “You need to breath, Tony. Come on; focus on me” 

Tony pressed his cheek against Loki’s shoulder. He knew he was right: he knew his breathing was getting laboured and fast. He tried to focus on Loki; on the secure feeling of being in his arms, on the silk of his dressing gown against his cheek, on the sound of his voice, on his familiar scent. He needed to calm down. He needed to control himself. Being in Loki’s arms helped. It always did.

-

Tony lay on the bed, looking up at the artex on the ceiling while Loki gently ran his fingers through his hair.

“What do you want to do?”

Tony kept his eyes fixed on the ceiling. “I want to leave”

“Leave what?”

“This house. That… that kid. All of this”

“That’s not an option” Loki said firmly. “Even if it means putting a seal on this house to keep you here, I won’t let you go. You can’t just run away from this”

Tony looked at him. “It would be better if I did. You’ve got things covered here”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Tony. I know you’re hurting. God, I am too. But while you’ve been trying to avoid it, I’ve had to step up and try my best to look after a toddler on less than a moments notice”

“Well, you always were the stronger one”

“You can’t use flattery to get out of this” Loki frowned. “I can’t do this alone”

“Well, I can’t do it at all”

“Yes you can. You need to shake your head and step up. You looked after little Peter tonight, didn’t you? You’ve been a parent to him already, if only for an evening”

“Yeah, and look how that went. He’d hurt himself within thirty seconds of being alone with me”

“That wasn’t your fault” Loki said. “He’s been hurt with me, too”

Tony looked at him. “…Really?”

“Yes. He pulled a mug of tea off the coffee table on top of himself. It had cooled down, luckily, but he still got a bit of a lump on his head where the mug hit him. He’s slipped over while I’ve been mopping the floor, twice. He hid under the coffee table and I didn’t see him and trod on his hand. And he falls over and knocks into things just like any other kid. He hasn’t been seriously or properly hurt, thank goodness, but there’s still been errors on my part as well as on his” Loki sighed. “Little kids are accident prone. Heck, teenage Peter is accident prone! These things happen. No one is expecting us to be perfect: they’re just expecting us to try our best”

Tony couldn’t help being surprised at the news that Loki had made mistakes with the toddler. He’d paid so little attention to it, and had just assumed everything was fine. 

“I made the bath water too hot”

Loki nodded slightly. “Well, it’s easily done. You should test it with your wrist or elbow to make sure it’s ok. That’s what we do at the hospital, and it’s what we did at the children’s home”

“I know that, but it slipped my mind at the time… I had no idea what I was doing. I was scared, Loki. I’m still scared”

“I know” Loki lay down on his side beside Tony. “It  _is_ scary, just like being a parent has always been. You can’t make yourself stop worrying… You still care, don’t you?”

Tony turned onto his side, taking Loki’s hand. He looked down at their clasped hands, swallowing hard.

“I love my son. I always have, and I always will”

“Talk to me, darling” Loki said. “Tell me about this evening”

“Why?”

“Why not? We don’t hide things from each other. Remember our vows?”

Tony swallowed. “…Did you feel lost, that first night?”

“Massively” Loki said. “I still feel lost now”

“I don’t know what’s gone on this week. We’ve never fallen out like this before. We haven’t kissed for nearly a week… We’ve barely spoken”

“That’s your fault” Loki said. “You were the one who buggered off and did your own thing and left me to try to get on with everything alone”

Tony flinched slightly, but he knew he was right. “I owe you an apology”

Loki squeezed his hand, but he didn’t say anything.

“I’m sorry, Loki. I really am” 

“So what are you going to do to change it?”

“…I don’t know what I  _can_  do”

“You’ll have to do something. You… you said you love your son. You need to show it”

Tony looked at him. “He’s not a bad kid. He’s… He’s cute. He wanted to wear that bear suit, and he just… I don’t want to love that toddler. It feels so disloyal to our son. But I do, Loki. Oh God, I love him”

Loki very nearly started crying. “You don’t know how much of a relief it is to hear you say that”

Tony started blubbing again. “I still don’t know if I can look after him”

“You can. You’ve always been great with Peter, no matter what the situation… You were ok for a while when we went shopping for all his clothes and things just after this happened. He’s still your little boy. You can do this”

Tony sat up, sitting on the edge of the bed. Loki shifted and sat beside him, putting an arm round his shoulders. 

“Shh. Tony, darling. Don’t cry like this” Loki said, resting his head against Tony’s. “You know… At the hospital, they always say babies are easier when you take them out. Maybe it’s the same with toddlers”

Tony wiped his eyes on his sleeve. “What are you getting at, Loki?”

“Tomorrow… Why don’t we go out? We could go for a walk, maybe down to the park or something” Loki suggested. “I haven’t been out of the house all week. Little Peter has been so cooped up. It would do us all some good to get out”

Tony looked at him, and nodded. “Ok… But you said he needed a buggy”

“He does. But he should be ok just going to the park. The car will help”

Tony looked down at his hands. He still felt shaky and sick. He felt Loki tense.

“Did you hear that?”

Tony listened. There was a little cry, and the sound of little Peter calling out. Loki sighed, and squeezed Tony’s shoulder.

“I’ll go”

-

Little Peter was whimpering softly, but he lit up when Loki came into the room.

“Daddy!”

“Hello, sweetie. What’s the matter?” Loki said softly, sitting down on the edge of the bed.

“Can’t sleep… I missed you”

“Missed me?”

Peter nodded. “You were gone”

“Ah” Loki nodded. “Yes, I suppose I was. I just had an evening to myself. Surely you didn’t really have time to miss me?”

“Missed you…”

Loki sighed. “Poor little darling”

“I want other daddy too”

“Yeah?” Loki thought for a moment. “Ok. Let’s go and see him, then”

-

Tony didn’t know how to react when Loki came back into his bedroom with little Peter balanced on his hip.

“He couldn’t sleep, and he wanted to see you” Loki said, sitting down on the bed. 

“Daddy!”

Tony looked at the little boy. He looked at Loki, and then back at the boy. He swallowed.

“Hey…” 

Peter wriggled out of Loki’s arms and crawled onto Tony’s lap. Tony jumped slightly. He looked at Loki, and then hesitantly put his arms round the toddler to stop him from falling.

“You’re a cute little teddy, aren’t you?” he said, putting the boys hood up and tweaking the ears. 

Loki smiled at him. Tony looked at Peter. His heart was thudding. He felt so scared, and worried. He didn’t really know what to do, but he knew backing out or ignoring the boy wasn’t an option. He took a very deep breath.

“We’re going to the park tomorrow” he said. “You… You can have a run around, wear your new trainers?”

“Can my rocket come too?” Peter asked, shoving said toy into Tony’s face.

Tony pushed it away, carefully so as not to hurt the boy. 

“Of course your rocket can come” Loki said. “We’ll take some bread so you can feed the ducks. The weather should be good tomorrow”

Peter sat with his back against Tony’s chest, squeezing his rocket in both hands. He nodded.

“Ducks”

“Yes, ducks” Loki said. “What do you think?”

Peter looked up at Tony. “You’re coming to the park?”

Tony nodded. “Yeah…”

Peter grinned, and giggled. “Park, park, park!”

“Tomorrow, sweetheart” Loki said. “Now, you have a cuddle with daddy, and then we’ll put you back to bed”

“Why?”

“Because it’s night time, and there’ll be no park unless you go to sleep like a good boy”

Peter didn’t say anything, but happily cuddled up against Tony. 

“Aww. Isn’t he sweet?” Loki smiled, kissing Peter on the nose. “This bear onesie is honestly the best decision either of us have ever made”

“It is pretty cute…” Tony said, gently stroking the fur on the boys hood. 

Peter glanced up at Loki, and smiled. He liked the fuss.

-

Loki woke up alone. He’d fallen asleep next to Tony after Peter had been put back to bed, so he was a little surprised to find his bed empty. He checked the time, and he supposed it was quite late, so maybe Tony had just already gotten up. 

Loki got up and got himself ready just like he did every morning, and then went and got Peter ready. He set Peter down with his breakfast, and then addressed the AI.

“FRIDAY, is Tony in the lab?”

“Mr Stark is not currently in the house, sir”

Loki stopped. “What?”

“Mr Stark went out more than an hour ago, sir”

“Where is he?”

“I’m not sure” 

“Well, find out!” Loki snapped. “Track his location. Where the hell is he?“

Peter looked up nervously. Loki gave him a reassuring smile and ruffled his hair.

“Here is a map of Mr Stark’s approximate location” FRIDAY said, projecting a map for Loki. 

“Approximate?”

“I’m afraid I can’t track an exact location” 

Loki looked at the map. It was one of the main shopping streets, a good twenty minutes drive away.

“What on Earth is he doing? FRIDAY, ring Tony”

There was a pause. “Mr Stark’s phone is currently switched off”

“I’m going to kill that man!” Loki growled. “If he’s not back within the hour, he’s dead”

“Is that the message you wish to leave?”

“What? No! Don’t leave a message!” Loki sighed irritably. “It’s fine; just be quiet now”

Peter looked at Loki. “Daddy?”

Loki sighed, and ruffled his hair. “Don’t worry, sweetheart. I’m just being silly”

“Park?”

“Later. Finish your breakfast”

-

Happy turned up quite unexpectedly. He was one of the few people allowed to let himself into the house, and he made Loki jump when they bumped into each other in the hallway.

“Good god! What are you doing here?”

“I-”

“Actually, don’t answer that. I’m glad you’re here” Loki said. “You can look after Peter while I go and murder my husband”

“Uh, wait a minute, isn’t your Peter a toddler now? Where is Tony?”

“Yes, he is, and that’s what I need to find out” Loki said. “You can keep an eye on Peter”

“Wait wait, if he’s a toddler-”

He was interrupted by said toddler running out into the corridor and careering into Loki. Loki scooped him off up the floor and tickled his tummy. 

“Oh god, he actually  _is_ a toddler!” Happy said. “It’s not that I didn’t believe the papers, but I just couldn’t really imagine it.

Loki ignored him.

“Hello darling! Right, you’re gonna spend a bit of time with Happy while I go and find daddy, ok?” he said, and he put the toddler into Happy’s arms. 

“Wait, I don’t know how to look after him!” Happy said, holding the boy carefully. 

“It’ll only be for a little bit”

“Wait, what did you say you’re doing?”

“Killing Tony. Now, if you-”

The door leading to the garage opened. Loki stopped, and then pounced. Tony let out a little scream as Loki smacked into him.

“Where the hell have you been, you bastard?!”

Happy stared at them as they wrestled on the carpet. It was something he saw a lot, but never got used to. This was different to their play-fighting too, so it was all the more unnerving. Peter looked at Happy.

“Are they fighting?”

“They’re just being silly” Happy said. “Oi, you two! You’re scaring the kid!”

Loki stopped, and once both men had gotten to their feet, and caught their breath, Tony cleared his throat.

“What was that about?”

“You buggered off! I thought you’d actually left, like you said you wanted to!”

“I-I wouldn’t do that!”

“But you said-”

“I know what I said! But I didn’t!”

“Then where the hell did you go?! You were gone for hours!” Loki demanded.

“I was buying a buggy!”

Loki stopped. “What?”

“You said he needed a buggy” Tony said, taking a step back. “I just didn’t know what I was doing and I took ages talking to the sales girl about it, and-”

“You were really just buying a buggy?”

Tony nodded. “Yeah…”

Happy cleared his throat. “Have you two finished having your domestic now?”

Loki hugged Tony tight, almost fainting with relief. He really had worried that Tony had actually left, even though they’d come to something of a resolution last night. 

“This means I’m off the hook for babysitting, right?” Happy said.

Loki gave Tony a quick kiss, and then pulled back and took Peter from Happy.

“Ok” Tony said, taking a very deep breath. “Happy, what are you doing here?”

“I was dropping off those files you asked for. They’re on the hall table” Happy said. “Oh, and I was kinda curious to see if those headlines were true”

“Oh”

“Yeah” Happy said. “He’s a cute teenager, and arguably an even cuter toddler. How are you finding it?”

“Mind your own business” Loki snapped.

“Loki!” Tony sighed. “Ignore him; he’s a git”

“Yeah, I know”

“Don’t be a twat, Happy”

“Don’t swear like that in front of the kid”

“Are you trying to tell me what to do?”

Tony laughed awkwardly, moving Loki aside. “Ok, let’s all calm down. Happy, as for your question; I haven’t coped at all, but I’m giving it a go now. Just need some time to get my head around it”

“I can imagine. Right. Uh. I’ve got somewhere to be, so… I’ll leave you to it”

-

Tony turned to Loki as soon as Happy had gone.

“Did you really have to kick off like that?”

“I was scared, Tony!” Loki said, setting Peter down and letting him run off. “You said all that stuff about being scared and mixed up and wanting to leave, and then I wake up and find you’ve gone! No note, phone switched off. I thought-”

“I’m sorry, darling. I didn’t think” Tony took a very deep breath. “I’m terrified, Loki. I didn’t mean to scare you like that”

Loki swallowed. “I’m sorry I doubted you”

Tony gave him a quick kiss. He took another deep breath.

“Peter?”

Peter stopped. “Hm?”

“Let’s… Let’s go and get ready to go out” Tony said. “We’re going to the park, remember?”

“Ok, ok!” Peter said excitedly. “Ducks! I wanna feed the ducks!”

“Um. Yeah, ok” he looked at Loki for help. “Uhh…”

“Let’s get your shoes on, ok?” Loki said, holding a hand out to Peter. “And we’ll find you a little jacket to wear”

Peter took Loki’s hand. “Ducks?”

“Yes, daddy will get some bread and things together while we get you ready to go. Right, daddy?”

“Um” Tony looked at him. “What- what do I need?”

“Bread, mainly” Loki said. “Oh, and make sure to take a drink for little Peter, and maybe a change of clothes. You can use my bag, the one in the hallway. Ok Peter, let’s go and get you ready”

-

Tony wanted to pull his weight, mostly for Loki’s sake, but he still felt so scared and clueless. He let Loki get Peter ready and strapped into his car seat and settled. He didn’t really want to step in and risk getting things wrong. He still wasn’t ready to admit that he loved the funny little toddler. He didn’t really know what he was doing at all. 

He came into his own a bit when they reached the park and parked up. He worked out the buggy pretty quickly (although he had been shown how to do it by the lady at the shop). Loki nodded at him gratefully.

“Ok sweetheart, let’s get you into this” Loki said.

“No! Nooo!” Peter whined, wriggling in Loki’s arms. “I wanna walk!”

“Oh. Right, ok” Loki set him down on his feet. “You stay close”

“Should we, uh, should we leave this here?” Tony asked.

“No, probably a good idea to keep it with us, in case he gets tired. We can stick the bag in it for now. Peter, darling, do you want to put your rocket in the buggy?”

Peter shook his head. “Nope. Rocket with me”

“Ok, darling” Loki said. “Are you ok with the buggy, Tone?”

“Sure.. I feel like people are watching us”

“Ignore them” Loki said firmly, taking Peter’s hand. “Ok sweetheart; let’s go and find those ducks”

Peter pulled his hand away. 

“Hey!”

“I wanna hug my rocket!” Peter pouted, hugging it tight in both arms.

Loki sighed. “Ok, but you stay close, and don’t go running off”

Peter nodded. He looked up at the trees as they walked into the park, mesmerised. He looked around, at the large stretches of grass, and the big stately home, and the people walking about with their dogs. There were other children too, playing football and tag and running about with their friends and families. 

“I wanna play too!” Peter said, making a run for it.

Loki grabbed his arm quickly. “No, darling. You stay with us”

“I don’t want to!” Peter snapped, trying to break free. “I don’t want to stay with you!”

“Peter, stop shouting, or we’ll put you in the buggy”

Peter shouted louder. “NO! I WANNA PLAY!”

“Peter, stop-”

Peter just kept shouting. Tony looked at him. He looked at Loki. He summoned some courage, took a deep breath, and took hold of Peter. He grabbed him under the arms and hoicked him up onto his shoulders, holding onto his ankles to keep him secure.

“There, that stopped you squeaking” Tony said. 

Loki stared at him. “Are you- are you ok with this?” 

Tony swallowed, and smiled at him. “Why don’t you take his rocket?”

Loki did so. Peter giggled a little, and then went quiet, looking over the park from his new high up view. Loki could see Tony was still unsure about the whole situation, but he was touched to see him making an effort. Peter was happy to finally be getting the attention he wanted from Tony. It was good to see.

-

Tony put Peter down when they reached the pond. He sat on the bench, minding the buggy and biting his thumb while Loki helped Peter feed the ducks and make sure he didn’t topple over into the water. Loki looked so natural with him. He kept him safe without making it obvious. Peter listened to everything he said, and he didn’t mind Loki helping him with the bread or steering him away from swans. Loki seemed to know exactly what he was doing. Tony felt awful. He knew it was selfish, but he was jealous. Even though he had absolutely no right to expect it,  _he_ wanted to be the one being perfect and getting on with things with hardly any bother. He still hadn’t fully accepted what had happened with Kindsprengen’s gun, and yet here he was, jealous that he wasn’t being treated as the favourite parent. Peter had always been  _his_ special little kid, ever since the start. He’d known and loved Peter long before Loki had even met him. He’d been his son much longer than he’d been Loki’s - again, before Loki had even met him. Peter even admitted that Tony was his favourite, just by a little bit. Ok, so he was a toddler now. But Loki had said that he was still his favourite now. So why didn’t it feel like it?

“Daddy, daddy!” Peter came running up to Tony, and climbed onto the bench. “There’s these big ducks, and some of them are all fluffy and small, and one of them took my whole bread, and I thought it’d only have a little bit, but it didn’t! It had it all! And it was smaller than the bread!”

Tony couldn’t help smiling at the giggly little toddler. “Is that so? How many ducks were there?”

“I don’t know. I can only count ten”

Tony blinked at him. “You can count?”

“Only to ten” 

Tony looked up at Loki as he came over to them. “Did you know he could count?”

“I can show you!” Peter said before Loki could reply. “One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten!”

Loki looked at him. “Well done, sweetheart! Aren’t you a clever boy?”

Peter giggled happily. “We’ve used all the bread”

“Oh well” Loki said. “There’s a little playground further down the path. Would you like to go and play on the swings?”

Peter shook his head vigorously. 

“No?” Tony exchanged a look with Loki. “I thought kids loved playgrounds”

“I don’t want to” Peter said. 

“What do you want to do, then?” Loki asked.

“Run. On the grass”

“Oh, ok” Loki said.

“Can we play football like those other people?”

“Ah. We haven’t got one, darling” Loki said. 

“Oh. Why not?”

“Uh. Because we haven’t bought one” Loki said. 

“There’s a kiosk further up, isn’t there?” Tony said. “Maybe they sell those cheap plasticy footballs”

“Maybe” he looked at Peter. “Darling, we’re going to carry on walking now. Ready to go?”

Peter jumped down from the bench. “Ok! Where’s my rocket?”

“Here” Loki grabbed it out of the buggy and handed it to him. “Let’s go”

Tony stood up, and Peter took his hand. Tony looked at Loki, who raised an eyebrow at him, smiling slightly

“I’ll push the buggy” Loki said, taking hold of it. 

“Where are we going?” Peter asked.

“Just further down the track” Loki said. “Come on darling; let’s go”

Tony held Peter’s hand. Peter looked up to him, rocket under his free arm, smiling sweetly up at him. Tony smiled back.

-

It felt funny, walking along with a toddler’s hand in his. People were definitely looking, although most tried to be discreet about it. They knew who Tony and Loki were. They knew what had happened to their son. They knew the situation - or at least, a version of it. Tony tried to ignore them. He focused on Peter. He was humming to himself, looking around at everyone they passed, holding tight to his rocket. He looked happy. He was cute, in his little jeans and his little button up shirt, and his little hooded jacket that was just a bit too big for him, so the ends of the sleeves had been rolled over so they didn’t cover his hands. He trotted along happily, obviously enjoying being out of the house. It was quite endearing.

-

Tony was right about the kiosk. He bought one of their cheap plasticy footballs, a pink one, at Peter’s request. They walked on further, finding an empty stretch of field in a more secluded area of the park. Tony dropped the football onto the grass.

“There you go, kiddo. You can play now”

Peter carefully put his rocket down in the buggy. He looked at his new football, and then at Tony. 

“What?”

Peter kept looking at him. Tony looked at Loki.

“He wants you to play with him, Tony”

“Oh” Tony said. “I don’t really-”

“You’re more than capable of kicking a ball about with a toddler” Loki said, putting the brake on the buggy.

Loki stepped forwards and gave the football a little kick. Peter watched it roll away. 

“Um…”

“Go on, Tony”

Tony hesitated, and gave the ball a little tap with the side of his shoe. Peter grinned, and ran up to it, aiming a hard kick. He missed the first time, but managed to hit it on the next try, knocking it a good couple of metres away. Tony looked at Loki.

“Go on, then” Loki said, gesturing toward the ball, an amused look on his face. 

Tony went to the ball, and kicked it back to Peter. Peter giggled, and kicked it, laughing. 

“Football, football, football!” he chanted, kicking it again. 

“Good kick, darling” Loki said, sitting down on the grass by the buggy.

Peter turned back to grin at him, and then got distracted by the football rolling past him. 

“Oh!”

He ran after it, kicking it again. It took him a few tries to get it back near Tony. Tony soon found himself getting used to kicking the ball about. He gave Peter easy kicks, and encouraged him to kick the ball back to him. Peter’s aim was a little off, so he usually caught the side of the ball instead of the centre, sending it off diagonally most of the time. Even so, he had quite a good kick on him, and managed to hit it quite far for such a tiny kid. He was definitely enjoying running around properly, giggling and laughing at himself whenever he missed the ball. He even laughed when he tripped over or fell, which happened quite a few times. Tony found himself laughing too. He was almost enjoying himself too.

-

They played together for a long time. Loki watched fondly. Tony seemed to be getting used to little Peter. He even held Peter carefully from behind and helped him practice kicking the ball properly. He congratulated the boy whenever he hit it, and even ruffled his hair. Loki noticed how he didn’t address him as anything other than ‘kid’, or ‘kiddo’, but he couldn’t be too picky. Considering the situation, any progress was good progress. 

Once they’d tired of playing kick-about, they had a game of catch, with Tony kneeling on the grass so he was at a better height for the toddler. Peter’s catch was better than his kicking, and he caught the ball a good 70% of the time. Even when he didn’t catch it, it didn’t matter, because he liked running after the ball, and he didn’t mind too much if the ball hit him in the face, because it was soft enough not to hurt. 

Eventually Peter slowed down, and started losing his enthusiasm. Loki stepped in when he started rubbing his eyes.

“I think that’s enough play for now” Loki said. “What do you say we go and get an ice cream?”

Peter nodded. “Ice cream!”

Tony ruffled Peter’s hair. “Let’s have a walk back to the kiosk, kiddo”

Peter whined. “My legs are too tired”

“We’ll put you in the buggy then” Loki said, swinging the bag over his shoulder and handing Peter his rocket.

“What about my football?”

“We’ll put the football under the buggy, in the basket” Loki said, picking up the football and doing so. “Now it’s your turn”

Loki scooped the boy up, and plonked him down in the buggy, strapping him in securely. 

“There we are. Comfortable?”

Peter nodded, resting his chin on his rocket. 

“Good. Let’s go and get that ice cream”

Loki stood back up, and went to grab the buggy handled, but Tony stopped him.

“I’ll push him”

“Oh” Loki paused, and then gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. “Ok”

Loki looked at Tony fondly as they walked back down the path. He looked a little tired, probably from his long game of ball, but he looked contented too. Tony felt himself being watched, and looked at him.

“What’s that look for?” he asked, somewhat nervously.

“I love you” Loki said. “I just… I love you”

Tony smiled. “I love you too”

-

Peter fell asleep in the car, and Loki put him down on the futon in the back room as soon as they got home. He tucked him in, kissed him on the cheek, and went to the kitchen. Tony handed him a mug of tea as soon as he walked in. 

“Did he wake up?”

“Nope; still fast asleep” Loki said, taking the mug from him. “Thank you”

“No problem” Tony said. “Look, about today…”

“It looks like you’ve done a full 180 on the whole situation” Loki said. He nudged him with his elbow. “That’s a good thing. You were really good with him”

“I love him” Tony said, not quite looking at him. “I really do. He’s a good kid. Today, watching the two of you together, and then playing with him, getting to know our toddler… I felt good. Ok, so it was scary, it’s still kinda scary, but it was nice too. Seeing you with him was nice. It was kinda fun, playing with him. He was cute, trying so hard, and then when we got those ice creams, and he was so excited about it…”

Loki put his mug down and pulled Tony close, kissing him hard on the cheek. Tony hugged him back.

“We’ll be ok” Loki said, kissing him firmly. “I just know it”

*


	9. Suddenly I Feel Alright

-

Loki didn’t want to forgive Tony just yet, but the more he thought about it, the more certain he was that he had. It had been such a long week. He was still getting used to little Peter, and as far as he could remember, the last seven days had shown the biggest falling out Tony and Loki had ever had. It had all felt so isolating. 

Loki felt good now, curled up with Tony in the reading nook. It felt nice being close to him again, pressing up against him, breathing him in. He might have been cross with him, and upset with him, but he still loved him more than anything else in the universe. Tony stepped up today, shown him that he was still a good dad. Loki just hoped it would last.

-

Tony was a little more reserved after Peter woke up from his nap. He stayed on the sidelines, watching what Loki did. He was way ahead of Tony. He’d spent the week getting to know toddler Peter, and as such, he was better equipt to look after him.

“Is there anything I can do to help?” Tony asked, biting his thumb.

“I don’t think so” Loki said, pulling Peter’s hand away from the telephone wire. “It’s getting on a bit, isn’t it? We should think about tea soon”

“Right, ok” Tony said. “In a bit, though, right?”

“Yes, in a bit” Loki said. “Peter, stop grabbing that wire!”

Peter pouted. “Why?”

“Because you’ll pull the lamp down and either break it, or hurt yourself, or both. And then there’ll be trouble”

Tony swallowed, kneeling down on the floor with the pair of them.

“Kid? Why don’t we play a game for a bit?”

Peter looked at him, rubbing his nose against the cone of his rocket. “What kind of game?”

“Um. Well, what kind of game would you  _like_  to play?”

“Umm…” Peter looked at Loki. “Umm…”

“Why don’t you play with the teddies?” Loki suggested. “There’s plenty around the choose from”

Peter shook his head.

“Ok, not teddies” Loki sighed. “Why don’t we do some painting?”

“Ooh no, I don’t like that idea” Tony said. “He’d make a huge mess”

“Oh Tony, don’t spoil his fun”

“No paints” Tony said firmly. He looked back at Peter. “How about just playing with some of your toys for a bit?”

“No! I’m bored of cuddlies” Peter pouted. 

“What? What’s wrong with your kangaroos? And your seal? And your Peter Rabbit?”

“Boring, boring, boring!” Peter said, furrowing his brow. “Boring, boring, BORING!”

“Hey, there’s no need to shout!” Tony sighed. He looked at Loki. “What about your colouring books?”

“I don’t know if I’ve got any kiddie ones” Loki said.

“Why don’t you go and have a look? You definitely had some while you were in hospital” Tony said. “Go on. I’m sure you didn’t finish the kids ones before you moved on to the, uh, the more advanced ones”

Loki cleared his throat and stood up. “I’ll go and have a look”

-

Loki hesitated before opening the cupboard. It always felt weird going in there. The glitter bottle was at the front. All of the glitter had settled at the bottom, long out of use. Loki picked it up and gave it a shake, watching the purple glitter and silver sequins swirl and start their descent back to the bottom of the bottle. He pressed his lips together. It always took him back to those horrible long days in hospital, angry at himself and impatiently waiting for the day he’d be discharged. Tony didn’t like thinking about it, much less talking about it, so Loki stayed quiet about it too. Loki put the bottle down, and flicked through the stack of colouring books. He found a very little kiddie one quickly. He left the rest on the shelf, and flicked through the first few pages of the colouring book. He looked at his own rudimentary colouring, the crayon going over the lines, scruffy, the colour darker in some places than others. He could remember struggling between pressing too hard and not pressing hard enough. He could remember struggling to keep his hand still. He took a deep breath and tore out the coloured on pages. It still left a good three-quarters of the book. He shoved the torn pages back on the shelf, grabbed a box of thick wax crayons, and slammed the cupboard door shut.

-

Tony looked relieved when Loki came back into the room. He’d been struggling to keep the bored and agitated little Peter from causing trouble.

“Oh good, look what daddy found!” he said.

Loki put the colouring book and crayons down on the coffee table.

“There we are, sweetheart. Why don’t you do some colouring?”

Peter stopped trying to knock the lamp off the lamp table with his rocket, and plonked himself down at the coffee table. He opened the colouring book, chose a crayon, and started colouring. Tony breathed out.

“That’s done the trick”

He stood up, and then sat down on the sofa. Loki sat beside him.

“He’s bored”

“Yes, he said”

“He doesn’t really have much to play with; only his cuddlies and his bath toys”

Tony sighed. “I’m not turning the house into a nursery”

“No one’s asking you to” Loki said, narrowing his eyes. “He needs toys, Tony”

“Why? Can’t he make do?”

“Evidently not. You know we’ll have to have Li visit again soon, and do you want to know what worries social workers?”

Tony looked at him, genuinely curious now. “What?”

“A house with small children and no toys”

Tony opened his mouth, and then closed it again. 

“Maybe we could go out again tomorrow” Loki suggested. “We could go to that big toy shop on that retail estate near the dentists and get him some toys”

“I wouldn’t know what to get…”

“Well, we can let Peter choose. That way he’s more likely to actually play with what we buy”

Tony looked at Peter. “I don’t know, Loki. I’m still getting my head around this”

“That’s no excuse to put it off. We’ll go toy shopping tomorrow” Loki said firmly.

Tony sighed, and squeezed Loki’s hand. “Ok, fine. But I’m not buying anything with loud sirens or music or stupid flashing lights or anything like that”

“Deal” Loki said. “I like those traditional old wooden toys. I bet we can find some things like that”

“Maybe. I think that’s more an independent thing than a chain thing. I don’t know. I haven’t really gone toy shopping before; only for cuddlies, and that’s a different ball game”

“Like I said; let Peter choose. Obviously don’t give in to his every whim, but we’ll need his input. Tony, he’ll probably need quite a lot”

“I was worried you’d say that” Tony sighed heavily. “Well, I suppose it can’t be helped. If he’s a pain when he’s bored, I’d rather avoid that”

“Yes, me too. Clint said that a bored toddler is a nightmare toddler”

“You’ve been talking to Clint?”

“Well. We spoke on the phone yesterday. He said he’d check in. He’s got three children; he knows toddlers better than we do”

Tony smiled slightly. “I take it you two aren’t deadly enemies anymore?”

“Don’t get carried away”

-

Tony wanted to go down to the lab, but Loki asked him to help put Peter to bed. Tony wasn’t overly keen, but he said yes anyway. He tried to help where he could, but Loki seemed to have it covered. Tony noticed there were things he’d missed out the previous night, such as washing his face and making sure he brushed his teeth. 

“I didn’t even think of that…”

Loki glanced at him. “Never mind. Missing it once isn’t the end of the world”

“Can I do anything?”

“Could you find him some clean pyjamas? There’ll be some in the box, but you’ll probably need to take the tags off” 

“Sure, ok”

Tony went back into the bedroom while Loki helped Peter finish up. He looked through the box, finding a cute little pyjama set, grey with orange long-necked dinosaurs on it. Loki and Peter came out of the en-suite while Tony was pulling the tags off.

“It’s ‘jama time!” Peter said, running into Tony. “’Jama time!”

“Yeah, pyjama time…” Tony said. He looked at Loki. 

“I’ll choose a story while you get into your pyjamas” Loki said, going over to the bookshelf.

“I didn’t read to him last night either” Tony said. He swallowed. “Ok, kid, come here: let’s get you changed”

Peter was in a good mood, and he didn’t fuss while Tony took his clothes off and got him dressed into his pyjamas. Tony found himself feeling panicked, not wanting to hurt him or risk making him cry. It was a relief when he was decent again. Peter immediately raised his hand to his mouth and started biting the cuff of his sleeve.

“Hey, don’t do that!” 

“Why not?”

“Because I said so” Tony said, pulling the boys hand away from his mouth. “Clothes are not for chewing”

“But there’s something in it”

“What do you mean; there’s something in it?”

“It’s spiky”

“Spiky?” Tony took the boys hand, and ran his finger under the cuff. “Oh, you’re right! I must’ve missed that bit of plastic when I was taking the tags off”

Tony had to use his teeth to get the plastic tag off, but Peter didn’t seem to mind: he was just glad not to be having his little wrist scratched by the sharp plastic.

“Everything ok?” Loki asked gently, coming over with a book in hand.

“Yeah. Yeah, I’d just left one of the tags on” Tony said. “I think we’re ready for bed now, right, kiddo?”

“Story first!”

Loki laughed, scooping the boy up into his arms. “Ok, story first”

Loki sat down on the bed with Peter on his lap. Peter settled back happily against Loki’s chest, resting his little hands on Loki’s wrists. Tony hesitated, and then sat beside them. Loki smiled at him, and then opened the book.

“In the light of the moon a little egg lay on a leaf. One Sunday morning the warm sun came up and - pop! - out of the egg came a tiny and very hungry caterpillar. He started to look for some food”

-

Tony sat down next to Loki on the big armchair once they’d finished settling Peter down for the night. 

“You’re so cute”

Loki glanced at him. “What?”

“With the kid. You’re so good with him. You know what you’re doing all the time. He adores you”

Loki closed his book slowly. “He adores you, too…”

“You’re so much better than me, though. I haven’t really done anything yet. I’m gonna try and change that… You’ll make it easy though; you set such a good example”

Loki looked at him suspiciously. “Are you buttering me up?”

“Maybe” Tony put his hand over Loki’s. “Darling… I was wondering… Would you like to - I don’t know - spend some time together?” 

“That’s what we’re doing, isn’t it?” 

“Well, yes, but I was thinking something a little more… practical?” 

Loki didn’t say anything. 

“Do you want to play~?”

“Oh Tony” Loki sighed. “Listen. Today you were great, you really were. But after the way you’ve treated Peter this week, the way you’ve treated this family? I don’t want to. I’m sorry”

“No, ok” Tony said sadly. “I get it. I know I’ve been horrible. But… Can I kiss you?”

Loki put his book down on the side table. “…Ok”

Tony carefully stroked Loki’s hair back behind his ear, keeping his hand on the side of his face, and he kissed him softly. It felt like it had been much longer than a week. He kissed him again, a little harder this time, winding his free arm round Loki’s waist, pulling him closer. He paused, resting his cheek against Loki’s.

“You’re not feeling this, are you?” 

“…It feels like it’s been forever”

“Yeah, I know. Do you want to stop?”

“No”

Tony kissed him again, and this time, Loki kissed back. So Tony kissed him harder, and Loki wound his arms round him holding him close, kissing him almost desperately. It was nice, connecting with him again after the week they’d had. It felt good, really good. Loki slipped his hands under Tony’s shirt, touching him, kissing across his jaw and down his neck before suddenly pulling away and standing up.

“Loki?”

Loki grabbed his hand, pulling him out of the armchair and down onto the sofa. Tony all but fell on him, kissing him lovingly, laughing when Loki pulled his shirt off.

“Everything ok, my darling?” he grinned.

“Shut up” Loki said, pulling back to take his own shirt off.

He threw it aside, and pressed himself against his husband, relishing in the feeling of skin on skin, holding him, stroking his skin, kissing him deeply. He resisted, allowing Tony to take over and push him onto his back, not stopping him as his trousers were torn off and cast aside. He let Tony take control, breathing heavily, holding him tight, feeling him, and ready to give in.

-

Tony looked at Loki as they lie on the rug together, spent.

“You changed your mind, then”

“You’re not as clever as you think you are” Loki said simply, eyes closed.

“Hey” Tony propped himself up on his elbow, looking down at him. “Look at me”

Loki opened his eyes. 

“I love you”

Loki smiled. “I love you, too”

Tony kissed him gently. “Thank you. That… that was fun”

“This week has been such a long one. It feels like it’s gone on forever. I think I needed it. I needed you”

“You’ve got me” Tony said, stroking his hair. “I’m gonna be here for you. I’ll step up; I’ll try my best with the kid. I promise.

Loki took Tony’s hand, holding it tight. “Thank you. You’ll be great, once you’re used to it”

“I hope so. Can I suggest something?”

“What?”

“Why don’t you go to the hospital tomorrow?”

“We’re taking Peter toy shopping, remember?”

“I know” Tony said. “I mean after that. I’ll stay home and play with him for a bit, and you can go and spend a few hours at the hospital. What do you say?”

Loki thought for a moment. “No. I’m not ready to go back yet. They’re not expecting me anyway. I’m happy for you to play with him, of course I am, but I’m not going to go out. Not just yet”

“Well, if you’re sure” Tony checked his watch. “It’s getting late. We should go to bed, since we have to get up in the morning”

“You’re probably right”

Neither of them moved for a moment or two. Tony turned onto his stomach, resting his head against Loki’s chest. They stayed like that, totally silent, for a good five minutes.

“I’m guessing you can’t be bothered to move either” Tony said, eventually.

“You guessed correctly” Loki said. “…Tony? Can you hear something?”

Tony stayed quiet, listening. He didn’t hear anything at first, but then there were little footsteps. The living room door opened, and a fluffy little toddler entered the room, a big red and yellow rocket under his arm.

“Daddy, I- oh!” Peter stopped, his little eyes widening, surprised at the sight of his parents stark naked on the living room floor. 

“What are you doing out of bed?!” Tony said, sitting up and grabbing a nearby blanket to cover his dignity.

“I’ve got one of those!” Peter said, pointing at Loki - or, part of him.

Loki laughed awkwardly, sitting up too. “Yes, most men do”

Peter padded over and crouched down beside them. “Mine isn’t that big”

“Well, they get bigger when you’re older” Loki said, and grabbed Peter’s hand when he went to touch him. “Ah! No, sweetheart, you don’t touch that”

“Why not?”

“Because it’s private”

“Why?”

“It just is. You’re not allowed to touch other people’s todgers” Loki said, standing up and pulling his pants back on, not overly comfortable with the conversation topic.

“Why?”

“Because it’s rude and impolite and people don’t like it. Ok?”

Peter nodded. “Ok”

“What are you doing out of bed, anyway?” he said, throwing Tony’s boxers at him. 

“Finding you” Peter said.

Loki lifted the boy into his arms. “Couldn’t you sleep?”

“I woke up” 

“You should’ve just gone back to sleep” Tony said, standing at Loki’s side. “It’s way past your bedtime” 

“Oh”

“Oh indeed”

“Let’s get you back to bed then, chick” Loki said, kissing him on the nose. 

“Do I have to?”

“Yes, you do” 

“Especially if you want to go out tomorrow” Tony added.

“Out?”

“Yes. We’ll be going out, but only ifyou go back to bed with no fuss”

Peter looked at Loki, and then back at Tony. “You’ll take me?”

“Only if you go to sleep”

“He means, will you take him to bed” Loki said.

“Oh. Uh… Yeah, ok” Tony carefully took Peter from Loki. “Ok kid; let’s get you sorted”

-

Tony put Peter down in the centre of the bed, tucked him in with his rocket, and kissed him on the bridge of the nose.

“Now settle down and go to sleep”

Miraculously, he did.

-

Loki woke up late. He had a quick wash, pulled some clothes on, and went to wake Peter up. 

“Ok darling, we’d better be getting you up now” Loki said, rubbing his eyes as he came into the boys bedroom. “Peter?”

Peter wasn’t in his bed. Loki pulled the covers back, just to be sure.

“Peter? Darling, where are you? Are you hiding from me?”

He knelt down, checking under the bed. Peter wasn’t under there. Loki stood up, and went to check the en-suite. Peter wasn’t in there either. Loki’s heart started to thump. 

“Peter?!”

He tried hard not to panic, telling himself Peter couldn’t’ve gone far, but he couldn’t help it. He rushed out of Peter’s room, trying to think. He could hear Tony in the kitchen, and went running to him.

“Tony! TONY!” he called, running into the kitchen. “Peter-”

He stopped short. Peter was sat at the breakfast bar, drinking juice from his sippy cup, a half-finished plate of honey on toast in front of him. 

“Loki?” Tony said, coming over to him. “Are you ok?”

Loki covered his face with his hands for a moment, taking a deep breath. He swallowed, cleared his throat, and put his arms round Tony.

“I’m sorry. I went to get him and he was gone… I was so scared”

“Hey. Shh, come on” Tony hugged him close. “It’s ok. I just thought I’d get him up. I didn’t think you’d mind”

“I don’t mind; I just didn’t expect it. The thought didn’t even cross my mind”

Tony gave him a tight squeeze and let him go. “I said I’d try to step up”

“…How did it go?”

Tony blew up over his top lip. “It was scary, and kinda tricky, but I managed. Tea? Kettles just boiled”

Loki nodded. He went over to Peter, giving him a little cuddle and a kiss on the cheek.

“Good morning, baby”

“Hi daddy!” Peter grinned up at him. “Daddy says we’re going out!”

“Yes, we’ll get ready after breakfast”

Peter nodded, going back to his toast, licking the honey off with the tip of his tongue.

“Eat it properly, kid” Tony said, setting a mug of tea down beside Loki. “What do you want for breakfast, gorgeous?”

“I’m not hungry”

“Jam on toast it is, then” Tony said, kissing him quickly.

“Where are we going?” Peter asked. 

“We’re going to get you some toys, kiddo” Tony said. “But only if you’re good”

“Wow! I wanna race car!” Peter said, and started making race car noises.

“We’ll see. Finish your toast” 

-

Tony didn’t want to take a backseat, so he went with Loki to help Peter get dressed. 

“I don’t mind getting him ready on my own, darling” Loki said, sending Peter into the bathroom. 

“I want to help” Tony said. “What can I do?”

“Um. You can help me choose an outfit for him while he’s in the bathroom, if you like” Loki said. “There’s still loads of clothes he hasn’t worn yet”

“Ok, cool” Tony went over to the clothes boxes and started rifling through.

“Did he brush his teeth before breakfast?” Loki asked.

“Yeah, he did” Tony said, setting aside a plain black t-shirt. “Washed his face too”

“Good. Good…” Loki knelt down beside him. “So, you said it was tricky?”

“Well, I’d never done it before. I was scared of getting it wrong, but hey! I didn’t get soap in his eyes, and I didn’t accidentally elbow him in the face, so I think I did ok”

“Good…”

“What’s up, chick?”

“…Can we make a deal? That the first person awake in the mornings gets Peter up? That way we’ll know where we stand”

“Sure, I can get on board with that” Tony agreed. 

Loki squeezed Tony’s hand. “Thank you”

Peter came out of the en-suite, singing to himself and his rocket. 

“Let’s get you dressed, darling” Loki said. “Are you going to park your rocket for a minute?”

Peter gave the rocket to Loki. “You hold him”

“Right, ok, but- uh, ok. I’ll hold rocket, if daddy doesn’t mind getting you dressed?”

Tony nodded at Loki, and turned to Peter. “Ok kiddo, let’s get you out of those pyjamas and into these lovely new clothes”

Peter was happily singing to himself and didn’t mind Tony dressing him. Loki stayed close by, watching them together. Tony didn’t seem to be struggling. He got him dressed with no issues. As soon as he was dressed, Peter pounced to get his rocket back from Loki.

“Hold on, let me have a proper look at you first!” Loki said, holding the rocket out of his reach. “Aww, look at you! Don’t you look cute in your little dungarees?”

Peter giggled, holding his arms up for his rocket. “Rocket! Rocket!!”

Loki gave him his rocket back. 

“Ok, kiddo, we’re gonna get our shoes on while daddy finishes getting ready” Tony said. 

Loki still felt a little unsure about leaving little Peter alone, but even so, he stood up and left Tony to it.

-

Tony started having a bit of a panic once they reached the big toy shop near the dentist. It was a huge warehouse size building, and Peter knew what it was as soon as he saw it.

“TOY SHOP!” he yelled, very clumsily jumping out of the car as soon as he was unstrapped from his car seat.

“Hey! Flippin’ ‘eck, you’re gonna kill yourself!” Tony snapped, picking the boy up off the tarmac and checking him over. “Bloody hell!”

“TOY SHOP!”

“Hey, stop shouting” Loki said, giving him another little check over. Thankfully, the boy was uninjured. “You’re very lucky you didn’t hurt yourself, young man. You don’t  _ever_  jump out of the car like that again, do you understand me?”

Peter nodded, wriggling in Tony’s arms. “Put me down! Put me DOWN!!”

“No; I don’t trust you now” Tony said, adjusting his hold. 

Peter opened his mouth and shrieked. He squealed and struggled and smacked his rocket against Tony’s chest. 

“Stop shouting! I’m not putting you down!”

Peter just shrieked louder. “PUT ME DOWN! PUT ME DOWN! I WANNA WALK!”

Tony’s heart was thudding. He felt lost and agitated. He didn’t know what to do. He looked at Loki for help. 

“Peter. Peter, listen to me” Loki said firmly. “Do you want to walk?”

Peter stopped screaming, and shouted; “WALK!”

“You can walk, but only if you stay close and do exactly as your told, and you hold my hand when I take it, ok?”

Peter nodded, and went quiet. Loki took him from Tony and set him down on his feet. He took his hand and held it firmly.

“Now, I want you on your best behaviour” he said. 

“Yes, best behaviour” Tony said, recovering his composure. “If you’re not good, you won’t get any toys”

Peter looked at him, and promptly burst into tears. Tony looked at Loki, horrified.

“What did I do?!”

“Nothing: he’s just being a toddler” Loki said, kneeling down in front of Peter. “Why are you crying, chick?”

“Daddy said I was gonna get toys! Now he says no! It’s not fair! I want toys! I want toys!” Peter sobbed.

“Hey, hey, sweetheart. He didn’t say no. He said you can have toys, but only if you’re a good boy. You can be a good boy, can’t you?”

“I don’t know!”

“Yes you do. I know you can be a good boy” Loki said gently. “Shh. You can be good; you usually are. All you have to do is listen to us. You just have to stay close, do as we ask. None of that horrible shrieking, either. That’s what? Three, maybe four things? You can do that; I know you can”

Peter nodded, drying his eyes on his rocket. “I’ll be good”

“I know you will” Loki tickled his tummy gently, and Peter squeaked and giggled. “There we are! See, you’ve stopped crying now. Shall we go in and have a look at some toys now?”

Peter nodded again, holding his rocket tight under his arm. “Yes please”

“Ok. Good boy” Loki stood up and took his hand again. “Let’s go”

Tony stared at Loki for a moment before following on a few steps after them. His husband was incredible.

-

Peter cheered up considerably once they were inside. There was so much to see and look at, and so much of it was at the perfect height for him. 

“What kind of toys would you like, Peter?” Loki asked. “You like your cuddly toys. Why don’t we go and have a look at some of those?”

Peter looked up at him. “Um…”

“There’s a full section down the aisle” Tony said. He saw Loki’s face. “What? This isn’t the first time I’ve been here, you know”

“Well, then. Please, lead the way”

Tony stood back once they reached the huge cuddly toy section, leaning against the trolley and leaving Peter and Loki to it. Peter was very excited, getting Loki to pick him up so he could see everything on the higher shelves, and then struggling to be set down so he could look at everything lower down. He rushed up to a big plush rocking horse, hauling himself up onto the saddle.

“Horse! I want the horse!” 

Loki touched the rocking horse gently. “It’s a bit big, sweetie”

“I want the horse!”

“Well… Let’s see what daddy thinks”

Peter looked at Tony. “I want the horse!”

“No. Sorry kid, but it’s much too big. Choose something else”

Peter looked sad for half a moment, but then he spotted something else. He scrambled down from the rocking chair, and rushed up to a stand with big thick snakes dangling down from it.

“Snakes! Daddy, daddy! Snakes!”

“Oh my. Which colour do you like best?” Loki asked. “How about this one?”

“Snake!”

Loki took down the orange snake and wound it round Peter, making him giggle. He made the snake lick Peter’s cheek with its felt tongue. Peter collapsed into giggles, dropping his rocket. 

“Oh! My rocket!”

Tony picked up the rocket, putting it in the child seat of the trolley.

“I’ll keep an eye on your rocket, don’t you worry” Tony said. “Nice snake”

“Snake!” Peter grinned. “Can I have the snake?” 

“Sure” Tony said. “Let’s put it in the trolley”

Peter let Loki take the snake from him and out it into the trolley. Peter stood looking at all of the cuddly toys, every so often picking a toy up, turning it over, and putting it back. Loki found it endearing, and every so often suggested a cuddly toy he thought Peter might like, but Tony started getting impatient after about fifteen minutes.

“Kid, is there another one you want from here? You need to choose, or we’re moving on”

“I don’t know!” Peter said. “I like them all!”

“Well, just choose some!” Tony said, exasperated.

“Just choose three” Loki said. 

Peter still took a few more minutes to decide. He eventually chose a little toy dog in a plastic carry cage, a fluffy purple monkey with Velcro hands, and a soft toy horse with a velvety nose and a faux leather saddle and reins. 

“Right, good” Tony said. “Uh, what else?”

“Let’s just walk the aisles and see if anything catches your eye, darling” Loki said to Peter.

Tony sighed. He supposed there was no other way round it. He took hold of the trolley, and hoped they’d make it out of the shop before nightfall.

-

Peter had a great time rushing about the shop looking at everything. Loki let him run about, and Tony cheered up a bit after looking at the electronics section. He didn’t want Peter getting any of it, but he still liked looking. 

The trolley started filling up with everything from jigsaw puzzles and creative games to building blocks and little toy cars and trains. Loki snuck some finger paints into the trolley when Tony wasn’t paying attention, and they added a little kids art set. Peter was gaining quite the collection of play sets and creative art supplies, rendering Tony’s insistence that he wouldn’t turn the house into a nursery null and void. Tony ended up giving in to little Peter’s puppy dog eyes and eager expressions. He supposed he could afford it, and it would keep the toddler busy, so it was worth the investment.

“I think that’s enough for now” Loki said. 

“No, it’s not!” Peter said. “We haven’t finished looking!”

Loki looked at Tony. Tony shrugged.

“We’ll keep looking. I don’t mind getting stuff for him” he said. “Where to next, kiddo?”

Peter turned round, and pointed. “Down there!”

“Ok. Lead the way”

Peter did. They went down the aisle of Lego and similar construction sets that Peter was too young for, and down to the centre aisle that split the two halves of aisles shelving. Peter stopped at one of the mid-aisle displays. He gasped excitedly.

“Daddy! Daddy!” he shouted, jumping up and down excitedly as his parents caught up to him. “Look!”

He pulled the enormous toy caterpillar out of it’s big metal basket. It was almost as tall as him, and it was nearly six foot long. 

“That’s ridiculous” Loki said.

“I love it! Please can I have it? Please please please?!”

“No, absolutely not” Loki said, taking the caterpillar and manoeuvring it back into the basket. “It’s much too big”

“But it’s fluffy!”

“So are you, and so are your new cuddlies” Loki said. “Let’s carry on” 

Peter huffed, but turned and went down the next aisle. Tony quickly noticed it was terribly pink.

“Looks like this is all girls toys, kiddo” he said.

Peter wasn’t listening to him. He’d spotted something. He went and pulled it off the shelf, struggling a fair bit.

“Careful, Peter!” Loki rushed to his aid, helping him with the box. “Oh, do you like this?”

Peter nodded. “Baby! Look at her hat!”

“What’s that you’ve got, kid?” Tony asked, moving closer. “Ok, no, absolutely not!”

“Don’t be a pri- don’t be silly, Tony” Loki said. “It’s just a baby doll”

“Aren’t all these new ones messy? Like, don’t they wee and have food sachets and stuff now?”

“Not all of them” Loki said, checking the box Peter had grabbed. “This one doesn’t: it’s just a basic soft-bodied baby doll”

“Whatever. I’m not buying him a doll”

“That’s very hyper-masculine of you” Loki said, raising an eyebrow.

“I want the baby!” Peter said, clutching the box to his chest.

“Put it back this instant” Tony said firmly. “There’s no way in hell I’m getting you a doll. The answer is no”

Peter’s bottom lip quivered. “Why?”

“Yes, Tony, why?”

Tony opened his mouth to respond. He didn’t have a good enough answer and Loki knew it. Loki and Peter watched him, waiting for him to speak. It was clear he was outnumbered. He sighed heavily.

“Alright, fine. You may as well get the full shebang if you’re getting the doll”

“What does that mean?” Peter asked.

“It means choose some little clothes and accessories or whatever for your new baby” Tony said, rubbing his temples and silently admitting defeat. 

Loki managed to detach Peter from the box he was clutching and put it in the trolley. He looked at Tony.

“Don’t give me that look” Tony pouted. “You were right; I went a bit hyper-masculine for a minute there”

“That’s all I wanted to hear” Loki said, grinning at him. “I have a feeling he’ll want your input on the baby doll extras, though”

“Yeah yeah, ok” Tony sighed. “I wouldn’t be surprised if we get all this home and he just flat-out rejects it”

“Daddy, daddy!” Peter grabbed at Tony’s sleeve. “I can’t reach properly!”

Tony let go of the trolley and picked the toddler up. “Alright kiddo; let’s see what we can get for you” 

He helped Peter choose some little outfits for his baby doll, and even gave in when he began clamouring for a bath set for it. After that, Peter insisted his baby would need a buggy.

“Why don’t we get this set?” Tony said tiredly. “It’s got a buggy, but it’s also got a cot and high chair. Then you’ll have everything you need”

Peter considered, and then nodded. “Yes, let’s”

Tony laughed, and put the toddler down so he could put the mini furniture set into the buggy. 

“Alright, darling, I think that’s enough” Loki said.

“No! No it’s not!” Peter insisted. “There’s still a whole ginormous shop to look at!”

Tony chuckled at the toddlers dramatic gestures, but Loki shook his head.

“Now now, sweetheart, daddy has been incredibly generous, and I think you have plenty of toys for now”

“It’s mostly  _boxes_ ” Peter pouted.

“You know, he does have a point” Tony said. “There’s a lot of box and cardboard here”

“I’m trying to save your wallet, my love” Loki said.

“Don’t worry about that. We’ll wander around a bit more; I don’t mind”

“You’re starting to spoil him. Besides, he’s going to be ready for his lunch before too long”

“Ah, I hadn’t thought of that” Tony looked at Peter. “Ok, kiddo, we’ll have a slow walk over to the tills. There’s no rush, so you can still look at things”

“Ok! More toys, more toys, more toys!”

Peter was still so bubbly and excited. Loki just hoped that he wouldn’t fuss too much when it was time to pay and leave.

-

Peter trotted along happily, successfully convincing his parents to add a big bucket of letter magnets and a set of plastic dinosaurs to the trolley. He was then distracted by a big area laid out not too far from the check-outs which was dedicated to outdoor toys and furniture. A lot of the big play sets and slides were set up and out on display. Peter rushed towards them, running round and round, looking at everything. He giggled happily as he rushed into play houses, looking around them in awe before shooting out again, carefully closing the doors behind him before bursting into the next one and throwing the windows open. He ran into the pop-up playhouses and crawled through the pop-up tunnels, shouting out that he loved them and wanted one right now, this minute. 

Then he encountered some more exciting things. Peter was in awe of the big garden playground sets. He loved the look of the trampolines and the slides, but the climbing frames were the real excitement, and he tried to scramble up the biggest one. Loki grabbed him round the chest before he could get too far.

“Ok, chick, that’s enough now. These aren’t really for playing on; they’re just for display”

“Why? I wanna play!”

“They’re here for people who might want to buy them, so they can see what they actually look like” Loki said.

“ _We_ might want to buy them!” Peter protested.

Tony laughed. “We haven’t got a garden, kiddo, so we can’t get this kinda stuff”

Peter pouted, but accepted that you couldn’t have garden toys without a garden, and he stopped wriggling in Loki’s arms.

“Daddy?”

“Yes, chick?”

“I think I’ve got enough toys now”

Loki smiled. “I think so too”

“Let’s go and get all this paid for” Tony said. “I don’t know about the kid, but I’m definitely ready for a nap”

*


	10. Try Once More

-

Peter chatted excitedly to the lady at the till. She talked back to him happily enough, but she did mention to Tony that she’d seen the news, and knew about Kindsprengen and the strange de-aging situation. Tony didn’t say much in response to her comment. He was glad when they’d paid (the damage wasn’t as bad as Loki had expected) and were on their way back to the car. 

Loki put Peter into his car seat while Tony unloaded the bags from the trolley into the boot of the car. Finally, it was time to go home.

-

Loki fed Peter while Tony unloaded the car. The trolley and boot had seemed so incredibly full, but the pile of toys in the living room now seemed to be almost modest. Tony decided to just leave everything for now. Loki would no doubt be putting Peter down for a nap soon, and Tony rather liked that idea himself. 

-

Tony and Loki fell asleep together for much longer than they’d planned. When they finally dragged themselves up off the bed and went to the back room to get Peter, the toddler was already awake. He lay on his back on the futon, clipping and unclipping the shoulder straps of his dungarees. 

“Hey kiddo” Tony said. “How are you doing?”

“I couldn’t open the door” Peter said, not looking at them.

“Oh”

“Never mind, chick” Loki said. “Why don’t we go and open all of your new toys?”

Peter jumped up quickly, grabbing his rocket. “New toys!”

“Yes” Loki said, clipping the shoulder strap the boy had left undone. “You’ve got lots of lovely things to play with now. Let’s go and get everything set up”

-

Tony proved very good at getting things out of their boxes and removing tags and twist ties. Loki was very good at sorting thing out, moving all of the arty kits and such out of the way until he could find a suitable place for them. 

“What are you gonna play with, kiddo?” Tony asked, squashing the last cardboard box. 

“I want my baby!” Peter said.

“Really? Why not your trains? Or your dinosaurs?”

“BABY!” Peter shouted, picking the doll up and hugging it close against his chest.

“Ok, ok! Whatever. I’m gonna sort these boxes out and stuff” he raised an eyebrow at Loki. 

Loki rolled his eyes at him, and helped Peter organise the nursery furniture for his new baby. Peter got bored watching him, but soon discovered the bottle that had come with his baby. It was a simple milk bottle, which, when tipped up, made it look as though the milk had been drunk. He spent a good while tipping it up and down, watching it refill and empty over and over. Loki ruffled his hair. It was good to see him discovering something new.

-

Peter had a great afternoon playing with all of his new toys. He went between all the different toys and play-sets, playing funny mixed up games between cars and dinosaurs and plastic animals and cuddly toys. He didn’t need his parents playing with him when he had so many new toys to keep him busy. Tony and Loki sat on the sofa talking quietly together.

“Is that my phone or yours?”

Loki checked. “It’s mine. I’ll just be a minute”

Loki stepped out of the room to answer the call. Tony watched Peter, who was setting his Noah’s Ark play set up on the coffee table, lining all the little animals up two by two, his tongue sticking out with concentration. He’d barely looked up from his toys all afternoon. It was quite nice to watch him without having to actually do anything - although he felt slack for thinking it.

Loki came back into the room. “That was Li Allen”

“Oh. What does she want?”

“Well, we should have expected this. She’s seen the news, of course, and she was due a visit anyway, and now she wants one more urgently”

“I see. What did she say?”

“She said everything she wants and needs to ask are better off doing in person. She also asked if we’d taken him to the doctors yet, which we haven’t”

“Do we really have to do that?”

“It’s highly recommended” Loki said. “The dentist is probably a good idea too”

“Ok, ok. I’ll try to get an appointment soon”

“Good” Loki nodded. “Soon, darling. Sweetheart… She’s coming on Friday”

“What?! Loki! Why didn’t you consult me first?!”

“Because it was easier just getting it booked in straight away. We should try to get all of the medical appointments done before Friday”

Tony looked at Peter. “Are we doing the usual thing?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, I’m the one who always takes Peter to his medi-appointments…”

“Well” Loki looked at the toddler. “If you’re ok with that…”

Tony nodded. “Sure, ok. I’m, uh, I’m gonna step outside and ring our GP and dentist. You know they rush me through sometimes”

“Thank you. You’d better be quick though: it’s starting to get on a little bit”

Tony stood up, getting his phone out. “I’ll do it now. Why don’t you think about what we’re having for tea while I’m busy?”

Loki knelt down by the coffee table while Tony was out of the room.

“What’s going on here, sweetheart?” he asked.

“All the animals are going on holiday” Peter said, walking a pair of giraffes up the drawbridge into the ark. 

“Oh, how lovely. Where are they going?”

“Antartis”

“Antartis?” Loki repeated. “Do you mean Atlantis? Or Antarctica?”

“Yes”

“I see” Loki ruffled the boys hair. “I’ll leave you to it, snugs” 

“No, wait! My animals are thirsty. They need lots of juice”

Loki laughed. “I’ll see what I can do”

-

Loki fetched a sippy cup of juice for Peter. Tony joined them in the living room once more.

“Appointments are booked. They all seem to understand the situation, which is more of a relief than I expected it to be. It’s kinda good knowing they understand, yknow?”

“Yes, I know” Loki said. “Tony, I’ve been thinking about what you said, and I think maybe I would like to go back to the hospital, just a day or two a week. Half days”

“Oh, ok”

“I won’t though, if you’ve changed your mind about it”

“No, come on, it’s fine. I’m starting to get used to this, I think. I swear the last couple of days have gone on for about a week”

“I knew toddler Peter would need a lot more looking after, but I didn’t realise just how  _much_ more looking after he’d need. It’s a whole other kind of difficult” Loki said. “It’s easier in some ways, but not in others”

“Yeah, I get that. But… what, exactly?”

“Well, it’s easier emotionally, I think. Teenager Peter is so mixed up and poorly; he’s been through so much, and he’s got the problems that come with having been through such traumatic events… Toddler Peter doesn’t have those problems. He doesn’t have the outbursts and the nightmares and all of that stuff” Loki said. “How he is now, he’s just a normal toddler. He doesn’t even have his spider powers”

“Yeah, that’s a weird one. I don’t know why he lost them. Or those cuts he had on his forehead just before it happened” 

“No, I don’t know either. So, he’s just a normal toddler. I think he’s more difficult physically this way”

“As in?”

“As in, we have to get him dressed and washed and get him up in the morning and run about after him to make sure he doesn’t hurt himself or anything like that. It’s a very different type of parenting”

“You’re so good at it, though” Tony said. “…He’s not a bad kid”

“No, he’s not. He’s a good little boy. I love him”

Tony quickly changed the subject. “What do you want for tea?”

“I don’t know. Anything”

“Pizza!” Peter said, throwing down a pair of plastic horses and clapping his hands. “Pizza, pizza, pizza!”

“How many slices of Domino’s pizza would a toddler manage?”

“I don’t know. Three? Maybe four?” Loki said. “I’d rather he had something proper, though”

“Make a suggestion, then” 

Loki thought for a minute. “I don’t know. Just do something with vegetables”

“You’re not giving me many clues” Tony sighed. “Pizza sounds pretty good, actually”

“I don’t want him have anything too unhealthy” Loki said.

“Darling, he’s always drinking juice, and he had apple slices and carrot sticks with his lunch today. That’s at least three of his five a day right there. Let’s give him a treat. You know you love Domino’s too~”

“Don’t. No, I don’t agree with this” 

“Spoilsport” Tony stuck his tongue out at him. “If you don’t have any other suggestions, I’m ordering pizza”

“I WANT PIZZA!” Peter shouted.

“You want to keep your neb out” Loki clipped. “Daddy and I are talking”

“Loki, come on”

“No! I want him to eat properly. Something-”

“How about a compromise?” Tony interrupted. “Pizza for tea, but fruit or a smoothie for pudding?”

Loki frowned. He thought for a moment, sighed, and nodded. 

“Fine, but this isn’t going to become a regular thing”

Tony smiled, and got his phone out. Pizza sounded great.

-

Tony kept to his word, and gave Peter a smoothie and a handful of grapes for pudding after he’d had his pizza. 

“Ok, young man, it’s bath time” Loki said after tea, picking him up. 

“No! I wanna play!” 

“You can play in the bath with all of your ducks and boats” Loki said. 

“Do you want a hand?” Tony asked.

“No, you’re fine. Come on, little boy; let’s get you sorted”

-

On Wednesday morning, Tony woke up with a note beside him.

_Tony,_

_I’ve gone out. It was short notice, sorry about that. See you this evening._

_Loki xxx_

Tony checked the time. It was just barely half nine. He hauled himself out of bed, pulling his dressing gown on. He rubbed his eyes and ran his fingers through his hair as he went to get Peter.

“Morning, kiddo” he yawned. “What are you doing?”

“My rocket is being held hostage by the monkey”

Tony stared at him for a moment. “…Right. Ok, go and do your teeth, and I’ll get your clothes ready”

“I need a wee”

“Well, have a wee as well, then” Tony said. “Off you go”

Peter got up and went to the bathroom obediently. Tony found him some clean socks and underwear, and dug out a cute little denim romper set, white with little blue whales on it. It was a warm day, and he was going to the doctors today, so Tony thought he may as well wear something nice. 

Peter fussed a bit when Tony tried to get him dressed.

“I’ve done my teeth; what more do you want?!”

“You’re definitely your father’s son” Tony said, raising an eyebrow. “Stop being so dramatic. Stop wiggling, and let me dress you”

“I’m already dressed!”

“Pyjamas don’t count” Tony said, quickly stripping the boy. 

Peter stood shocked for a moment, and then opened his mouth and squawked. 

“NOT FAIR! NOT FAIR AT ALL!”

“It’s not raining either” Tony said. “Stay still, or there’ll be trouble”

Peter squawked again, and then went quiet, pouting, and let himself be dressed. Tony straightened his little outfit.

“Oh, sweet” he said. “Where’s that little white sunhat? You’ll look pretty as a picture” 

Peter stuck his tongue out at him. Tony stuck his tongue out too. He stood up.

“Do you want breakfast?”

Peter nodded.

“Grab your rocket and come along, then. You’ve got thirty seconds before the offer’s off the table”

Peter quickly freed his rocket from his monkey’s grip, and trotted after Tony. 

-

Tony took Peter with him to his room after breakfast, sitting him on the bed while he had a quick shower and got ready for the day ahead. Peter was quite happy lounging against the pillows and flying his rocket above his head. He did watch Tony when he came back into the bedroom and got dried and dressed and put his sprays on.

“What’s that stuff?”

“It’s just cologne”

“What’s that?”

“It’s basically perfume for men” Tony said. “Do you like it?”

He held his wrist out for Peter to smell. Peter wrinkled his nose.

“Bit strong?”

Peter nodded.

“It gets a bit weaker as it dries” Tony said. 

“Can I wear some?”

“Uhh. Hold on, I think I’ve got a vanilla one somewhere” he hunted through his basket of sprays, and found the little vanilla one at the bottom. It was quite dusty from lack of use. “Ok kiddo, you can have a bit of this one, just on your neck”

He tipped Peter’s chin up, and sprayed a little spritzer of the perfume on Peter’s neck.

“There, you smell simply delicious now” Tony said, kissing him on the nose. “Ok, I’m gonna get my shoes on and grab my stuff, and then we’ll sort your bag”

“Do I have to wear shoes as well?”

“Yeah, we’ll stick your little white plimsoll-y type shoes on, and we’ll find that little white hat”

“No! No!!”

“Yes, yes!!” Tony insisted. “You’ll be cute as a button with a coordinated outfit. Ok little kid. Let’s get ready for action!”

“SUPER HERO SUIT UP!” 

“Woo! Yes, quick, get all the supplies! We’re leaving for the next mission in ten minutes!” Tony said. “Plimsolls, hat, sippy cup, rocket. Ready, set, go!”

“I’M GO!” Peter shouted, and shot out of the room.

Tony chuckled to himself. It worked every time.

-

Peter grew upset and distressed once they reached the doctors office. The waiting room was mainly full of elderly people, and many of them made a fuss of Peter with his chubby cheeks and curls. Some of them also wanted to fuss Tony, knowing his work and reputation. Peter didn’t mind at first, but then he started to feel very crowded and closed in, and he started crying.

“Oh dear. Listen, you’re all very charming, but this one needs a little breathing room” 

Tony smiled at everyone but spoke firmly enough that they stepped back and gave him some space. He rubbed Peter’s back firmly.

“There now, kiddo. There’s no need to cry”

Peter buried his face in his rocket, and soon went quiet. He leant against Tony’s chest, daydreaming. It wasn’t long before Peter’s name was called.

-

Tony sat with Peter on his lap in the doctors office.

“So, how are you coping?” Doctor Manning asked. 

“We’re getting there” Tony said. “It’s been tricky. It’s the weirdest situation”

“It’s a shame your boy got in the firing line. There’s been a lot of discussion about it in the local medical community” 

“We were told we should get him checked. We haven’t noticed anything wrong, but… Well, Loki insisted”

“If you haven’t noticed anything wrong, there might not be anything to find, but we’re taking a look at these children anyway - just to be safe. I’ve not seen any myself, but I know some colleagues who have seen them. So, how has he been? Is he eating properly, drinking plenty? Is he ok in himself?”

Tony nodded. “Yeah, Loki’s been real good making sure of that. He’s been fine, I think. I haven’t found any reason to worry. I mean, I’ve worried, but not because he’s seemed ill or anything”

“That’s understandable. Good. Now then” the doctor stood up, and knelt down in front of Tony’s chair. “Hello, Peter. Is it ok if we put you on the bed and have a proper look at you?”

Peter looked up at Tony. 

“It’s ok, kiddo” Tony said. “He just needs to check you over”

Peter still didn’t seem sure. Tony stood up and sat the toddler down on the bed.

“There, stay still, kid” 

“Ok little one, let’s have a good look at you” Dr Manning said, putting his stethoscope in his ears. “I’m just going to have a little listen to your chest”

Peter wrinkled his nose, but he let him do it. He didn’t fuss when the doctor peered in his ears and shone a light in his eyes. 

“Good boy. Now, open your mouth and say ‘aaah’”

Peter did as he was asked, but then squeaked and pushed the doctors hand away when he put a tongue depressor in his mouth. 

“Sorry, sweetheart”

“Kid, you don’t push the doctor like that” Tony chided.

“He put a stick in my mouth!” Peter scowled.

“I need to do it, Peter” Dr Manning said. 

“Why?”

“It keeps your tongue out of the way so I can see your mouth and throat properly. Shall we try again?”

Peter looked at Tony, who nodded at him. He looked back at the doctor, and opened his mouth. He didn’t fuss this time, but he was still glad when he was done. 

“Good boy. Ok, now, do you see this?” he said, bringing out a blood pressure cuff. “I’m going to slip this onto your arm and strap it on like so.. There, now I’m going to squeeze this pump here, and it’s going to hug your arm while I check the dial and listen with my stethoscope. Ok?”

Peter started crying when the cuff tightened on his arm. It was uncomfortable and almost painfully tight. 

“I don’t like it!” he cried, trying to pull the cuff off. 

Tony grabbed his hand and held him still. “Let the doctor do his job, kiddo”

It felt like hours before the doctor let him go and took the cuff off his arm. Peter cried harder and scrambled into Tony’s arms. He didn’t trust that horrible doctor one bit.

“Oh kid. Come on; there’s nothing to cry about” Tony sighed. He looked at the doctor. “How’s he looking?”

“Everything is perfect so far. I’d just like to check his reflexes”

“Kid, you need to calm down” Tony said. “Just-”

There was a knock at the door, and it opened.

“Apologies for interrupting. Here’s those results you asked for”

Tony stared. “Loki?! What are you doing here?”

Loki glanced down at himself. “Locum work? They needed some cover and asked me”

“Sorry Tony, I didn’t realise he was in, otherwise I would have told you” Dr Manning said, taking the folder from Loki and setting it on the desk. “Good to see you again, Loki”

“Good to see you, doctor. Hello, Peter, darling! Don’t you look cute?” he said, taking Peter from Tony and giving him a cuddle. “What’s the matter, darling?”

“Turns out he’s not a fan of having his blood pressure checked” Tony said.

“Well, you should have known that one, my love” Loki said, kissing Peter on the cheek and shushing him. “Teenage Peter hates it too”

“I forgot”

“How’s he doing?” Loki asked, sitting down on the bed and sitting Peter in his lap.

“Nothing to worry about” the doctor said. “I just need to check his reflexes, have a discussion about vaccines, and then he’ll be good to go”

“Vaccines?” Tony said. “But he’s up to date”

“We’re recommending boosters for those who came under Kindsprengen’s gun. There now, Peter. Now you’ve calmed down, let’s finish your checks”

Peter wiped his eyes and snuggled against Loki. He couldn’t be too scared of the doctor, not when his daddy was there to protect him.

-

The doctor couldn’t find anything wrong with Peter. He let Loki stick around for the rest of the consultation. They got Peter booked in for his booster jabs, and the doctor told them to keep up the good work and to come back if they needed any further advice.

“Aw, I bet you don’t want to go back to work now” Tony said once he was out in the corridor with Loki. 

“Not especially, but I’ve got things to do, and I’ll be back by the evening” he said, kissing Peter on the nose. “You be good for daddy, darling” 

“We’re going to another doctor” Peter said.

“Is that so?”

“We’re going to the dentist” Tony said. 

Loki kissed him and gave him a hug. “Well, good luck. Love you lots. I’ll see you tonight”

-

Peter didn’t like the dentist, but the dental nurse kept talking to him and making him laugh, so he got through the check up without incident. The dentist said everything looked fine, and Tony was relieved that they could go home without anything to worry about.

“Daddy, I’m hungry” Peter said as Tony strapped him into his car seat.

Tony checked his watch. “Well, it is nearly lunchtime. See if you can hold on for a little bit longer, kiddo. We’ll get you fed real soon… Hold on, how about we go to McDonald’s? Just don’t tell your father”

“McDonald’s!” 

“Yeah, let’s go and find a McDonald’s, kiddo. Have a think about what you want to eat”

“McDonald’s!” 

“Ok kiddo, sit back now” Tony laughed, shutting the door and climbing into the drivers seat. “Let’s get those cheeseburgers”

-

Tony decided it would be easier to eat in, but he encountered some autograph hounds as soon as he walked through the doors. Peter didn’t mind Tony talking to them at first, because there were lots of pretty young ladies making a fuss of him as well as his father. It was only when the young ladies moved away and some rather boisterous lads moved in that Peter started getting scared. He wriggled and whimpered, burying his face in Tony’s chest.

“Sorry guys, I’ve got a hungry toddler to get fed” Tony said, flashing them all his trademark smile. “Give us a little space, ok?”

The crowd respectfully parted, leaving Tony free to order and calm Peter down. 

“Nuggets or burger, kiddo?”

“Um…” Peter blinked up at him.

“We’ll just get you the same as daddy, then” Tony kissed him on the cheek. 

“I’m hungry”

“Yeah, I know. Just hold on a few more minutes”

Peter nuzzled against his rocket and stayed quiet until they were sat down at a table. There, he carefully set his rocket aside and quietly ate his cheeseburger and drank his chocolate milkshake. It was even nicer than he’d expected.

“How’s that treating you, kiddo?”

Peter nodded. “I like cheeseburgers!”

“Me too, kiddo. Aren’t you eating the rest of your chips?”

Peter shook his head. “Too full”

“I’ll finish them for you” Tony said. “What’s your toy?”

Peter picked up the Happy Meal toy, which was still in its plastic wrapper. He looked at it, brows furrowed.

“I don’t know”

Tony took it from him, having a look himself. “I don’t know either. Do you want it?”

Peter shook his head.

“We’ll just leave it here then” Tony said, putting it down on the table. “Finish your milkshake: we’ll have to make a move soon”

“What kind of move?”

“I mean, we’ll go home once you’ve finished”

“Can we go to the park?”

Tony stopped for a moment. “We’ll go home first”

“But can we go to the  _park_?!” Peter persisted.

“We’ll see”

-

Forty minutes later, with Peter’s football on the front seat, Tony parked up at the park. He got Peter out of the car, tucked the plastic football under his arm, and took Peter’s free hand.

“Probably do us both good, this. Bit of fresh air, bit of exercise” Tony said. 

“Why isn’t daddy here?”

“He was at the doctors office, remember? He’s working”

“Oh” Peter said. “Why?”

“Well, because that’s what he does. He’s good at it, and he enjoys it. He’ll be back at home later today” Tony said. “I’m not really so bad, am I?”

“You’re not bad at all!” Peter said, shocked. 

Tony chuckled. “Thanks, kid. You’re not bad either”

“I know”

Tony laughed again. “Good. So, why don’t we go and find a good bit of grass so we can play a game together?”

“I wanna feed the ducks!”

“Oh. We don’t have any bread with us kiddo. We can still go and have a look at them though, if you want”

Peter nodded enthusiastically. “Ducks! Ducks, ducks, ducks, I wanna see the ducks!”

Tony lead him down to the pond. There weren’t many people about, so he let go of Peter’s hand and let him wander about untethered for a little while. Most of the ducks were out in the middle of the pond, but there were a few asleep on the bank. 

“Daddy! Look!”

“Aww, aren’t they cute?” Tony said, adjusting Peter’s hat. 

“I love them. Can I have a pet duck?”

“No”

“Oh. Why?”

“Because ducks are wild animals: they’re not supposed to live in people’s homes. Unless they live on a farm, I guess” Tony said. “Are you finished round here?”

“No” Peter said. “I wanna walk  _aaaaaall_  the way round the whole entire pond!”

“Well, alright. We’ll walk round”

Peter trotted along quite happily, cuddling his rocket against his chest and humming to himself. Tony walked a few steps behind him, admiring his cute little outfit and thinking about everything that had been said at the doctors and dentists. 

-

They walked all round the pond without incident (although Tony had to guide the boy away from the edge a couple of times to stop him falling into the water). They walked on and found a good stretch of empty grass. There they spent a while kicking the ball about before having a game of catch. But then Peter started to get tired, and he started whining. Tony took his hand and tried to head back towards the car, but Peter went all silly and let his legs go limp, refusing to walk.

“What are you playing at? You can’t stay on the floor all day”

“I’m too tired to walk!” Peter whimpered. “I’m too tired!”

“You can go to sleep for a bit when we get home, but first, you need to get to the car”

Peter stayed on the floor, whining and refusing to move. 

“You’re getting yourself dirty”

“TIRED!” 

Tony sighed heavily, and hoicked the boy up onto his hip. He quietly cursed himself for deciding to leave the buggy at home.

“Stop that squeaking. Hey, careful! You’re gonna drop your rocket” 

“No!” Peter shouted, clutching his rocket. “Mine!”

“Yes, so keep hold of it. Let’s get home”

He kissed him on the cheek, and headed back to the car.

-

It was late afternoon, but Peter had been so grumpy in the car that Tony put him down for a nap anyway. Tony felt refreshed after the walk in the park, so he put his energy into giving the main living areas a good tidy and clean, and then got started on making shortcrust pastry from scratch, deciding to make something a bit different for tea. Loki would be home soon. He wanted him to come back to something nice.

*


	11. If You Need Me Let Me Know

-

Peter put his baby in its buggy and spent a long time pushing it around the living rooms and hallways. He was still busy pushing his baby round the landing when the front door opened. Peter stopped for a moment, listening, and soon Loki appeared on the landing.

“Daddy!”

“Hello, little boy!” Loki smiled, kneeling down and giving him a cuddle. “Aww, my little darling. I’ve missed you today!”

“Missed you too!”

Loki kissed him on the cheek and stood up. 

“Where are you going?”

“I’m going to get a drink and find daddy” Loki said.

He started off towards the kitchen. Peter stopped for a moment, and then grabbed his toy buggy and ran after him. 

“WAIT!”

Peter ran into the kitchen and careered straight into the breakfast bar. The toy buggy stopped him from hitting the wood directly, but the force of the impact still knocked him off his feet. He stayed where he landed in quiet shock for a moment, and then jumped to his feet and threw his arms up in the air.

“DADDIES!”

Tony laughed, closing the oven door and throwing the oven gloves over his shoulder. 

“Hey kiddo. Try not to make a habit of crashing your babies buggy into the kitchen units, ok?”

Peter giggled, turning back and moving the buggy away from the unit.

“Baby’s ok!” he announced.

“Good” Tony chuckled.

“Anyway” Loki said, winding his arms round Tony and giving him a kiss. “Good evening”

“How was work?” Tony asked, stroking Loki’s hair back behind his ear. 

“It was fine, if a little dull. GP surgeries are so different to the ward. I was mainly doing ECG’s and blood tests all day. At least the other staff were nice. Most of the girls just wanted to ask questions about you, though”

“Oh, I see. Well, who could blame them? I am an  _incredibly_  interesting person”

“You keep telling yourself that” Loki said, kissing him again.

“Cheeky… I love you”

Loki kissed him again. “Love you too. What are you cooking?”

“I thought I’d do something a bit different. Remember when you were in Scotland, on your sabbatical? What’s one thing that you said you got really into while you were there?”

“Deep fried mars bars?”

“Well yeah, but I mean something savoury”

Loki thought for a moment. “Macaroni cheese pies”

Tony grinned.

“You haven’t… Really?”

“Yeah! I even made the pastry from scratch, because I am actually the new Gordon Ramsay. My timing has also been impeccable, of course” Tony said. 

“Well, I’m thrilled. It’s exactly what I need after today. It seems to have really dragged” Loki said, letting go of Tony and putting the kettle on. “So, what did the dentist say?”

“Hm? Oh, nothing much. Just that he didn’t see any problems and he was happy with the condition of the kids teeth”

“Well, that’s a relief. I’ve really been dreading these appointments, just in case there was something wrong with him”

“You worry too much. He worries too much, doesn’t he, kid?”

Peter just giggled. He was sat on the floor, cradling his baby in his arms. 

“So, what else did you get up to today?” Loki asked, getting his mug down from his cupboard. 

“Well, we had some lunch after we’d been to the dentist, and then we went to the park”

“Oh, nice” Loki said. “What did you have for lunch?”

“Well, we decided to be healthy, so I made a-”

“We went to McDonald’s!” Peter shouted, thwarting Tony’s plan of making up something healthy.

Tony resisted the urge to physically face-palm. “You’ve landed me right in it, kid”

Loki sighed, but he chose not to make a fuss. He finished making his cup of tea.

“Shall I set the table?”

Tony nodded. “Sure. Hey, there’s some Powerade in the fridge if you want it”

“Nice” Loki said, breathing in. “Bloody hell, my stomach isn’t half growling. I’m absolutely starving”

-

Peter didn’t want to put his baby down when dinner was ready. Loki managed to convince him to tuck the doll up in its wooden cot in the second sitting room, and once his baby was ‘asleep’, Peter decided it was ok to have dinner. 

“I think I’ve started to get the hang of all this” Tony said, a little while into the meal. 

“I’m relieved to hear you say that” Loki said. “You’ve really stepped up this week. I’m proud of you”

“I’m proud of you, too” Tony said. “And I’m sorry for taking so long to get involved”

“I know” Loki looked at Peter. “He has to be our priority. I think we need to sit and talk about what we’re going to say to Li on Friday”

“I’d rather just answer her questions on the day” Tony said. “Is she gonna ask the kid stuff?”

“Maybe. I don’t know. If she does, it won’t be anything too heavy, since he’s only tiny now” 

“I’m not tiny!” Peter said. “I’m big!”

“You keep telling yourself that, sweetheart” Tony said.

Loki stared at him. Tony felt him looking.

“What?”

“You called him sweetheart” Loki said. “You’ve only ever called him kid or kiddo. You just called him sweetheart!”

“…So I did” Tony smiled. “Well, he  _is_ a sweetheart. He’s  _my_ sweetheart. My little boy”

-

Li Allen arrived at exactly eleven o’ clock on Friday morning, punctual as ever. Tony took her upstairs to the second living room, where Loki was keeping an eye on Peter. The toddler had tired of his train set and was busy walking his baby round in its buggy, with his rocket balanced between the handles. He looked up when Tony and Li Allen came into the room. He listened to them talking, but he was too busy to pay too much attention. He continued his round of the room, but stopped when he reached the sofa that Li Allen was sat on. He looked up at her.

“It’s you!” he said.

“Hello, Peter” Li smiled. “How are you?”

“I had pancakes for lunch!” 

“Did you now? How lovely. What did you have on your pancakes?”

“Sugar” Peter said. “Lots of sugar! But then daddy made me brush my teeth”

“Well, I think that was sensible, don’t you?” 

Peter shook his head, and then grabbed the toy buggy and started another lap of the room. Li looked at Tony and Loki.

“He remembers me”

“Yes, he remembers a lot of people. Or more, he knows them” Tony said. 

“I’ve read about it all” Li said. “But I’m not here to talk about case studies. Tell me how you’ve been getting on” 

Tony laughed awkwardly, sitting down with Loki on the other sofa. 

“Well” he said. “Loki’s been better than me” 

“Is that so?”

“What he means is, he didn’t step up at all until a week after it happened” Loki said. “He stayed in the lab and he blanked Peter and he was utterly useless and rubbish. We barely spoke and he was too into his own feelings to think about the rest of the family” 

“Ouch” Tony winced. “That’s a bit harsh”

“It’s true though, isn’t it?”

“…Yeah, it is” Tony admitted. He looked at Li. “He forced me to look after him for a night, and I stepped up after that. I’m getting the hang of it now.  _We’re_ getting the hang of it now”

“Tony, we’ve known each other a considerable amount of time now, and if I can be blunt, you’re always the one to flap the most in times of crisis. So I must say I’m not surprised with how you reacted. But I’m also not surprised that you stepped up” Li said. “You say you’re getting the hang of it now, which is good. I know toddlers and teenagers can be worlds apart”

“Yeah, it’s a whole different ball game” Tony said. “It’s still weird thinking about what actually happened, so I try not to. I still love the toddler while missing proper Peter. Teenage Peter”

“You finally called him by a pet name yesterday” Loki said. 

“I’m still adjusting”

“Your own struggles aside, how is Peter doing?” Li asked. “He looks happy enough here. I can see you’ve equipt him well with toys”

“We did a big shop on Monday” Tony said. “We bought way more than I thought I would”

“We let him choose” Loki said. “He’s been much happier now that he’s got something to play with. He’d started to get bored”

“I know your Peter has his cuddly toys, and you’ve got plenty of teddies around, but I know toddlers can get bored quite quickly”

“He had those, and some bath toys, and a colouring book. Tony and I weren’t talking though, and I can’t drive his cars - legally anyway - so I couldn’t do much about it until we started talking again” Loki said. “He’s been better now that he’s got lots to play with”

“We’ve been taking him out a little bit too” Tony said. “Maybe we should do it more?”

“It’s good to take them out” Li said. “They like the change of scene, and it’s good for their development too”

“He’s not gonna be a toddler forever; only until we’ve got the reversal gun”

“It’s still a good idea to treat him like you would any other toddler. He still needs the same stimulation”

“Took the words right out of my mouth” Loki said. “I’m still trying to think about where else to take him”

Peter parked his baby buggy. He listened to the grown-ups talking. They talked for a long time, and Peter didn’t really understand a lot of what they were saying. After a while, he took his rocket and went over to Loki. He didn’t say anything, and Loki didn’t really look at him, but he picked him up and put him on his lap anyway. Peter sat with his rocket on his lap, leaning against Loki’s chest.

“-If the doctor said there’s nothing to worry about, I’d trust his judgement” Li said. “You seem to be doing fine, but there’s always further support available for you if you want it. We’ve offering everyone who came under fire from Kindsprengen the opportunity to meet the other - shall we say, victims. Sharing common experiences can be helpful. Is that something you’d be interested in?”

Loki and Tony looked at each other. 

“I’m not sure” Tony said.

“Well, I am, and I’m not interested” Loki said. “I wouldn’t mind meeting them, but not in controlled circumstances. I won’t go out of my way to meet them”

“It would be good for Peter to play with some other toddlers” Li said. “Do let me know if you change your mind”

“Maybe we could consider toddler groups or play centres then”

Peter looked up at Loki. Loki looked down at him.

“What?”

Peter looked away without saying anything. Loki sighed. 

“Is he feeling a little shy?”

“I don’t think so. He’s just not a chatterbox like teenage Peter” 

“Oh, I see” Li said. “I did notice he was quiet. I just assumed he was shy”

“He’s so quiet compared to big Peter. But he does sing to himself sometimes. Teenage Peter never does that”

“But he’s happy” Tony said. “He’s… happier than normal Peter”

“Poor Peter has been through such a lot. I still remember the look in his eyes when I first met him. He was so scared. He’s been much better recently, though. If this toddler hasn’t got memories of being a teenager, he doesn’t have the memories of everything he’s been through. Of course he’s happier. Or, happy in a different way”

Loki looked down at the toddler cuddled against his chest. “That’s exactly what I thought… He’s happier this way”

Tony looked at him. “It’s only temporary, darling”

“I know” Loki said. “But he’s happy now. That’s all that matters to me”

Peter wriggled off Loki’s lap and climbed off the sofa. He went over to the other sofa and climbed up beside Li. 

“Hello, Peter” Li said. “What have you got there?”

“This is my rocket” Peter said. 

“Well, that’s very lovely. It’s very colourful. Is this your favourite toy?”

Peter nodded. “Yep. I’ve got lots of toys. Daddy said I could have anything I wanted when we went to the shop”

“Really now? What did you get?”

“I got lots! I’ll show you!” Peter jumped down from the sofa, taking Li’s hand.

Li glanced at Loki and Tony, and then stood up and let Peter guide her over to his toy boxes. Peter took the lids off and started showing her all of his play sets. He showed her his building bricks and trains. He showed her his Noah’s ark and farm set. He couldn’t show her his new soft toys, because they were in his bedroom, but he could show her his baby. He spent a long time showing her his babies buggy and cot and high chair, and all of the little outfits and accessories. 

“You’re a very lucky little boy, aren’t you? What a lot of lovely toys you’ve got”

Peter nodded.

“You can feed my baby” he said, passing the baby doll and a plastic bottle over to her.

“Why, thank you” Li said, holding it like a real baby.

Peter clutched his rocket in his fist, and held his arms up to her. Li picked him up and sat back down on the sofa with the boy on his lap.

“He seems happy” Li said, ‘feeding’ the baby doll with one hand. “He’s small, but he doesn’t feel too thin or anything like that - he’s just little. He’s lovely, and you’ve done a good job so far. I can see he’s well supported and looked after. I know this is difficult for you, but you’ve done really well. I’m really happy with both of you”

“We’ll be ok” Tony said, taking Loki’s hand. “We’ve got each other. We’ve got our friends. It’s only for a little while, right? Just until Thor and all his people up in space have found a way to reverse it”

Li stroked Peter’s hair gently. She watched him turning his rocket over in his hands and rubbing his nose against the soft fabric. 

“You’re ok, aren’t you, sweetheart?”

Peter nodded. “Daddy said… Daddy said we’re going to the park today”

“I said maybe” Tony said. “We might try somewhere different”

“Oh!”

Tony smiled at him. “You’re so easily surprised, chick. We’ll think of something to do”

“He likes swimming” Loki said.

“He’s too little for our pool” Tony said. “He’d hurt himself on the fun bit”

“Yes, but there’s public pools. They tend to have baby pools alongside the normal pool” Loki said. “We could look into it. Indoor swimming pools will be good, especially if the weather isn’t great” 

“Ok, well, we’d need to get him a swim suit and some arm bands. Maybe some goggles?”

“Daddies are being boring again” Peter mumbled.

Li laughed. “They’re just planning, sweetheart”

“I’m hungry”

Loki stood up and held a hand out to Peter. “Let’s go and get you fed”

-

Li set the baby doll aside and talked with Tony more while Loki and Peter were out of the room. 

“You’re allowed to ask for help. I know you’ve got a solid support system, but me and everyone else I’ve referred you to before will always be here if needed”

“Thanks. I’m doing ok. A part of me still feels like I’ve lost my son. Peter’s a bit of a baby, but toddler Peter really  _is_ a baby. It’s still weird thinking of what happened. It still hurts” Tony said. “But I’ve started getting to know the toddler this week, and I love him. He’s my son. I’m getting used to it. This week seems to have gone on for years”

“I bet it’s been a learning curve for you” Li said. “You and Peter have always had a very special bond. That shouldn’t change because of what’s happened. He needs you to take care of him. Sure, you just avoided everything and pretended it wasn’t happening, but now you’ve got involved and started being a father again. That’s good. You’ve had to deal with worse situations than this with Peter. You’ll be able to do this”

“I still feel lost about it. It feels like much longer than two weeks. I didn’t really think about what I was doing, just thought that I needed to stay out of it. When I finally realised what I was doing to Loki, as well as the kid… Me and Loki have never fallen out like that before. I missed him. I’m so used to holding him and kissing him and talking to him every day, and it was hard not having that. I was used to being a unit. I think we’ve got that back now. It’s still gonna be tricky, but I think now we’ve got a routine and stuff, we can do it… Bloody hell, imagine if the public knew we were struggling. The press would have a field day”

“They won’t find out unless you tell them. You fed a false version of event to the press, and you were well within your rights to do so. You’re allowed to put yourself and your family first”

“Bruce did the press release for us. He’s good at that kind of thing”

“Have your friends been visiting?”

Tony shook his head. “I think Loki said Clint wanted to visit. I think mostly they’re trying to give us space…”

“You don’t sound very happy about that”

“I’m not. I want to see them. Usually I don’t mind not seeing people for a long time, but I do now. I feel kinda isolated. Maybe I should invite them over”

“It’s good to make use of your support system, even if you’re just hanging about watching films or having a takeaway. Something other than Avenging, perhaps?”

Tony laughed slightly. “Yeah, I think Loki would kill me if I tried to get the Iron Man suit on now. Kid’d probably love it though”

“I’m a big fan of it, but I think I’d advise against it right now too. At least until you’re settled with toddler parenthood”

Tony nodded. “…I bet that night at the hospital when you were called down to A&E for Peter’s case, you never expected half of the nightmares and weird things we’ve been through”

“You’ve definitely thrown up some surprises” Li smiled. “You’ve kept me on my feet, made me fill out a lot of paperwork. But between the two of us, you’re far from being the worst family on my list”

Tony laughed slightly. “What makes you say that? We’re definitely a total nightmare at times”

“Maybe your situations are” Li said carefully. “But even when you’re going through horrible, horrible things, you’re always looking after each other as best you can. There’s always lots of love between the three of you. Unlike a lot of people I see, I’ve never felt like Peter wasn’t safe and well looked after where he is. You’re a very different kind of ‘nightmare’ than a lot of my clients”

“I miss my baby. I miss my teenage son. I really, really miss him”

“I know.. I know”

“I want him back. I miss everything about him. I want him so much… It’s just a waiting game though, right? I want Thor to come back and brandish that reversal gun he’s up there to sort. Until then… I just have to get on with it. Look after the toddler”

“Have you talked to Loki about how you’re feeling?”

“Yeah, we’ve talked quite a lot…”

“Do you feel like you need to talk about this with someone else, professionally?”

“…Maybe. I don’t know. I’d need to find the time, between work and the kid and anything that comes up with the Avengers, it might be a bit hard”

“I’m sure Loki would understand if you needed to take a couple of hours out. You need to look after yourself as well as Peter”

“I’ll think about it” Tony said. “Thanks for this. I don’t know how you’re always so understanding when things are always so weird”

“It keeps things interesting for me” Li said. “I’ll be on the other end of the phone whenever you need me. You’ve known me long enough to know that by now”

Tony moved to sit next to her, and hugged her tight. She’d been a reassuring presence in their lives every since the day May had died. It was nice talking to someone familiar, someone who knew them. Someone who understood.

*


	12. The Game

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FYI I do take mini-fic/oneshot requests/suggestions

-

Tony, unable to do anything by halves, invited all of the Avengers, and a couple of other people besides. Loki raised an eyebrow when he saw how many people he’d texted, but he understood - almost - and chose not to say anything. 

“Your auntie’s and uncle’s are gonna come and see you tomorrow” Tony said to Peter on Saturday afternoon.

“Is mumma coming?”

“No. I think she’s still in space”

Peter pouted.

“Hey, don’t look so sad, chick” Tony said. “You’ll still get to see everyone else. Most of them, anyway. I bet they’ll all bring you presents too”

“Ah, that reminds me” Loki interrupted. “We got a box in the post today”

“A box?”

“A box” Loki nodded.

“What was it?”

“It was from Liz”

Tony stopped. “Oh”

Ever since Liz had gone back to Oregon after their holiday to Sheringham, her and Peter had exchanged very aesthetically pleasing pen-pal boxes and letters. They aimed to do it fortnightly and were usually pretty good and keeping on schedule. They both put in a fair amount of effort, and Loki and Tony both enjoyed watching Peter choosing things for the box and putting together a letter with gel pens and cute stickers. They supposed that, yes, he was due for a box, but what with the whole Kindsprengen situation, it had slipped their minds.

“…Will he remember her?”

“I don’t know. The box isn’t addressed to him, though; it’s addressed to us. I haven’t opened it yet” 

Tony took out his phone, and scrolled through his camera roll.

“You said you found out he didn’t remember May by showing him a photo, right?” 

Loki nodded. “Yes…”

Tony found some photos from the holiday Liz and Flo had accompanied them on. He found a decent photo, zooming it to crop Peter out, and he showed the phone to the little boy.

“Who’s this?”

Peter looked at the photo. “Um. Is she a girl or a lady?”

“Kinda a bit of both” Tony mumbled, putting his phone away. He sighed, and shrugged at Loki. “Well, that’s our answer. Should we open it?”

“I think we should” Loki said. “Later, though, after the baby is in bed”

-

Tony and Loki sat on the sofa, looking at the box on the coffee table as though it were a bomb.

“Should we open it now?” Tony said eventually.

“Well, it is addressed to the both of us” Loki said, putting the box on his knee and scoring down the tape with a pair of scissors. “Do you want to do it?”

“No, you do it. She must’ve seen the news - I know it’s been a big story. She addressed it to us, not Peter…”

Loki swallowed. He snapped the tape, pulling the box open. There was an envelope at the top with their names on. Loki picked it up, turning it over.

“Should I read it out?”

“No” Tony said. “You read it first. I’ll read it after”

Loki nodded, taking the letter out of the envelope and unfolding it.

 

_Dear Tony and Loki,_

_I’ve seen the news. It’s been a pretty big story. It’s weird to think about it, but it’s easier to imagine it now that pictures of Peter as a toddler have ended up in the news. It’s funny, because you can tell it’s him, but it’s not *really* him. Does that make sense? It’s hard putting my feelings about it into words. It must be super weird for you both, since you’ve only ever known him as a teenager._

_I’ve read about Kindsprengen and the people he hit with that gun. I know some of them are struggling. A few of them have set up blogs and done interviews with news sites. It’s weird, but interesting to read. I hope you’re doing ok (I’m sure you are!). I know Peter probably doesn’t know who I am now, but I also know this isn’t forever. He’s still my friend, and we’ve still got our promise of keeping in touch. I thought I’d send a box anyway, even though he’s a toddler now. I wasn’t entirely sure what to send, in case he likes different stuff now, and I didn’t think having things that are connected to our insider jokes or our friendship would be a good idea, because it won’t mean anything to him as a little kid. I don’t mind you looking at everything first, in case there’s stuff he shouldn’t have (I don’t really know anything about toddlers). Say hi to him for me, even if he doesn’t know who I am. I hope he’s ok. Give him my love, ok?_

_Love from Liz x_

Loki handed the letter to Tony. They didn’t look at each other until Tony had finished reading, folded the letter, and put it back in the envelope.

“She’s a good kid” Tony said. “It’s good someone’s still thinking about him”

“I’m sure she’s not the only one” Loki said. He looked at the box. There was a layer of lilac tissue paper laid over the contents. “Should we look?”

“…I’m kinda interested to see what she’s got”

They still hesitated. They swallowed hard. Then they heard the sound of little feet, and Peter came into the room, his rocket under his arm. 

“I can’t sleep” he said, rubbing his eyes.

“Never mind, darling” Loki sighed. He looked at Tony.

Tony nodded. “Come over here, kiddo”

Peter did as he was asked. Tony picked him up and sat him on his lap.

“Sweetheart, I want to talk to you” he said, getting his phone out and finding the photo from earlier. “Do you remember I showed you this photo earlier?”

Peter nodded. “You said she was a girl and a lady”

“Yeah, well, she’s a teenager, so kinda in the middle… See, she’s kind of a friend of ours, though she’s young… Her name’s Liz. She knows you”

“Oh” Peter said, resting his chin on his rocket. “I don’t know her”

“No… But she knows you. She thinks you’re cute. That you’re a good boy. She’s sent you some things” he put his phone down. “She wrote us a letter, because she’s our friend. But this box is full of things for you, lots of little treats. Would you like to have a look?”

Peter looked up at him. “Is she an auntie?”

“Well, no. Just a friend” Loki said.

“So, do you want to look in the box?” Tony asked again.

“Ok” Peter said. He didn’t move.

Loki moved closer to Tony. “How about I unbox everything for you, and you can look at everything that way?”

Peter nodded. Tony stroked the boys hair gently, watching as Loki pulled back the tissue paper. There was another envelope on the top, smaller than the first one. Loki opened it and took out the little card.

“Dear Little Peter, I hope you’re doing well. I hope you like what I got for you. Love from Liz, kiss kiss kiss” he read. 

Peter just blinked. Loki set the card down. 

“Ok” Loki said softly. “Let’s see what you’ve got in here… Well now, isn’t this nice?”

“Honey!” Peter grinned, looking at the jar Loki held up.

“Oh wow, cute” Tony said, taking the jar. “This is local honey, isn’t it? I bet this label is hand drawn. Yeah, that’s definitely a family business. She must have been to that farmers market again. Cute. You can have some of that at breakfast tomorrow, chick”

“Honey! I want honey now!” Peter said, trying to take the jar. “Honey!”

Tony chuckled, giving Loki the jar to set safely aside. “Tomorrow, chick. Let’s see what else is in your box”

“Is it more honey?”

“I don’t think so” Tony said. “Let’s see”

Loki found a little dinosaur colouring book with a mini set of felt pens and a mini set of pastel paints. 

“Art stuff!” Peter said. 

“These are so cute. I want them” Loki said. “Mini things are so cute”

There were more cute mini’s in the box: a little chocolate bar with a lion on it, a little marshmallow lolly, a little toy car, and a little soft toy dinosaur. There was also a cute pair of kids socks, again patterned with dinosaurs, and a little torch of the Iron Man helmet that lit up when the face plate was lifted.

“She’s got good taste” Tony said, flicking the torch on and off. 

“Tony Stark, lighting up people’s lives since two thousand and whatever”

“Since nineteen seventy, thank you very much” Tony said, sticking his chin in the air. “Anything else left in there?”

“These” Loki said, holding up a twin pack of dummies. “They’re cute, but I think he’s too old for them”

“I thought toddlers still used them”

“Well, some do, but they’re not really supposed to. Bad for their mouths, apparently. Still, the thought is there” Loki said, setting them aside from the other things. “Well now, what a lovely box of things Liz has sent you, Peter. We’ll have to write her a thank you card”

Peter nodded, watching Loki pile everything back into the box.

“I think it’s definitely bed time now” Tony said.

“I wanna take the dino with me” 

Tony took the little dinosaur toy and handed it to Peter. “There, now you’ve got a new dino to join your rocket. Back to bed now, young man”

“Do I have to?”

“Yes” Tony stood up, holding the boy tight. “Say goodnight to daddy now”

Peter whined, but he said goodnight to Loki and let Tony take him to bed. 

-

Tony joined Loki again in the living room once he’d put Peter back to bed.

“That’s a pensive face” he said, sitting down beside him.

“Liz said she wasn’t sure what to get, but she chose so well” Loki said. “Those socks are incredibly cute. I know the label too, and they’re not cheap either”

“She loves Peter, we know that. They’re good friends”

“…He didn’t really understand, did he? He doesn’t remember her, he doesn’t know her, so he can’t really feel much towards her or this, can he?”

“Well, maybe not” Tony said. “I think he appreciates the presents though. Are you gonna get him to write a card, or are you just gonna do it?”

“I’ll pen a letter, and probably send her something too. Maybe we can get Peter to draw her a picture or choose her something. I don’t know. It might not be personal in the way their pen pal letters usually are, but I think she’d still appreciate something in return. I’ll have to confirm her fears in our letter though”

“Yeah, it’ll upset her, but it’d upset her more if we lied and then she found out about it” Tony said. “Have you thought of what to write yet?”

“I’ve been writing it in my head” Loki said. “I’ll need your input though”

Tony went and fetched some note paper and a pen, which he handed to Loki.

“Ok, let’s see what we can do”

They did a few drafts, and eventually managed to pen an appropriate letter.

_Dear Liz,_

_Thank you for your letter. It’s nice to hear from you._

_Little Peter is fine. He’s happy, and healthy. He’s a cute little thing. He’s tiny, and compared to big Peter, he talks far less. He’s still undeniably him - there’s a lot of similarities in his mannerisms and things like that. I know he’s only a toddler until we find a reversal, but we still have to treat him like any other toddler. He remembers people, but he doesn’t really have any actual memories, aside from those since being turned into a toddler. I’m sorry to say he doesn’t remember you. We showed him a picture and told him a bit about you, but nothing clicked. We understand it might upset you, but unfortunately this isn’t a surprise to us._

_Peter loved his little presents though. He’s taken the little dinosaur to bed with him tonight, and we’ve promised he can wear his new socks tomorrow, and have some of that honey on toast for breakfast. You got him such lovely things, so thank you again. We appreciate it._

_We hope you’re doing ok. We’ve enclosed a few little things for you. We know it’s going to be different to what you usually get. We got little Peter to help choose._

_Love from Loki, Tony, and toddler Peter x_

“I think that’s fine” Tony said. “We can always add something on later if we need to”

Loki nodded. “Yeah… We’ll go and get some stuff later. I’ll stick the date at the top of the letter. Right…”

“We’ll do it on Monday morning. Get everything done and boxed and sent by the afternoon. Let’s just get tomorrow out of the way first”

-

Peter wasn’t happy at all on Sunday morning. He woke up early and started crying. Loki went to him and sat on the edge of the bed.

“Shh. Hey, it’s ok. I’m here” he mumbled, rubbing his eyes, still half asleep. “Stop crying now”

Peter just cried harder, tears streaming down his little face. Loki sighed, standing up and lifting the toddler into his arms, rocking him gently.

“There now, darling. What’s the matter? Did you have a bad dream?”

Peter shook his head, and then buried his face in Loki’s chest, howling and squeaking. Loki rubbed his back firmly. 

“You have to tell me what’s wrong”

Peter just kept crying. Loki sighed again, kissing him on the top of the head. 

“Have you hurt yourself, is that it?” 

Peter still didn’t say anything. Loki tried to put him down, but the toddler shrieked louder and clung tight. 

“Alright darling, alright. We’re gonna go and find other daddy. Maybe he can help”

-

With the help of the AI, Loki found Tony tinkering away in the lab.

“How long have you been down here?”

“Not long. What’s up with the kid?”

“I don’t know. I was hoping you’d be able to settle him”

Tony put down his tools and took Peter from Loki.

“Hey little one. What’s going on?” 

Peter clung to him, squeaking and sobbing.

“Oh dear, you’re not happy this morning” 

Tony sat him on a clear bit of the work bench. It was harder than expected, as Peter really didn’t want to let go.

“Stop grabbing at me! What’s the matter?”

Peter cried harder, desperately holding one arm out to Tony, his other hand clutching his tummy. 

“Have you got a tummy ache, is that it?” Loki guessed, stepping closer and touching the boys tummy gently.

Peter shrieked. “OW! OW, IT HURTS!” 

Tony looked at Loki. “Wh-what do we do?”

“Lie him down and try to keep him still so I can have a little feel. He might have an infection or something”

Tony lay Peter down on his back on the bench, holding his hands and resting a hand on his head.

“Shh, daddy’s just gonna have a look. He’ll make you feel better”

Peter was red in the face from screaming, and he hardly heard him. Loki’s heart was thudding just watching him. He took a deep breath and pushed the boys pyjamas top up. Straight away he noticed a small blue plastic disk just to the left of the boys belly button.

“Hold on, is that a push-pin?! No wonder you’ve been crying!” Loki exclaimed. “This is going to hurt, darling, but it has to be done. I’m sorry”

He carefully levered the push pin out of the poor toddlers tummy, sucking his breath as he did so.

“Ouch. Shh, ok darling, ok” he said, reaching for the little first aid kit Tony kept under the bench. “How did he end up with a push pin in him?”

Tony felt sick. He felt like coming up with some elaborate excuse, or just saying he didn’t know. But Loki could always see through his lies.

“…I knocked over that pencil pot on the window when I was closing the curtains. It must’ve fallen on the bed without me realising. I thought I’d tidied everything”

Loki sighed. He squeezed Tony’s shoulder. “It wasn’t your fault… Oh darling! Peter, shush”

He finished patching the boy up, and then cuddled him close. He kissed him on the cheek, rocking him gently, willing him to stop crying. 

“Shh. You’re ok, darling. It’s ok, darling” he said. “I know, I know. Shh”

Tony watched them, biting his thumb. “He’ll be ok, right?”

“It’ll scab over and heal in a day or two. It’s nothing serious. The plaster and such are more precautionary than anything else” Loki said. “Poor little Peter. Shh. That’s it… See, he’s calming down now. It must have woken him up and scared him as well as hurt him”

Tony looked at Loki for permission, and then took the boy from him. He kissed him softly on the cheek.

“Do you wanna go back to bed for a bit, kiddo?”

Peter shook his head, wiping his eyes on his sleeve.

“Ok. How about some breakfast, then? You could have some of that honey?”

Peter nodded slightly, resting his forehead against Tony’s shoulder, sniffling.

“Breakfast then… Loki, do you wanna go back to bed? You look exhausted”

Loki looked at Tony. He sighed, and nodded. He could do with another rest.

-

Loki had to be woken up later on. 

“Hey, it’s just me” Tony said. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to make you jump. Are you ok?”

Loki shrugged, stifling a yawn.

“People are here now, if you wanna get up”

“Who?”

“Nat and Clint, and Steve and Bruce”

“No Pepper?”

“No, she’s busy. And Rhodey. And a few of the others, evidently”

“Where’s Peter?”

“Nat’s got him. Just come through whenever. There’s no rush” Tony kissed him gently. “See you in a bit, right?”

Loki nodded, sitting up slowly. “Ok, darling. See you in a bit”

-

Loki felt like staying in bed, but he dragged himself up and got washed and dressed anyway. He went into the kitchen (which was miraculously empty) and had a quick mug of tea and a bite to eat. Finally, he went to the living room and faced everyone. 

Peter was much happier now, with everyone making a big fuss of him. He grinned at Loki when he came into the room, but quickly went back to showing Steve his doctor set. 

Loki nodded in greeting before settling down on the big armchair. 

“Hey, little guy” Clint said, kneeling down by Peter. “I think we all brought you something”

“A present?” Peter said, looking up at him. 

“Yeah, exactly. You wanna open them now?”

Peter nodded enthusiastically. “Yes, yes! Presents! Daddy, they bought me presents!”

Tony chuckled. “I said they might. Alright, you can open them, since you’ve been such a good boy this morning”

They’d spared no expense. Tony had warned them all prior that if they were getting the kid stuff, and they got anything with sirens or flashing lights, he’d kill them. So at least that was something he didn’t have to worry about coping with.

Clint and Natasha had coupled together, and bought him a toy shopping basket full of miniature groceries, a toy till complete with plastic currency, a little tin tea set, and a play set of wooden food.

“Those sections are stuck with Velcro, so you can cut them with that knife” Clint explained. “My kids always loved this kind of stuff”

They’d also bought him a huge bar of chocolate and a big box of jelly babies. Loki frowned, but he didn’t say anything. 

“Why are small versions of everyday things so cute?” Tony said, pressing the buttons on the plastic till.

“They had so much cute stuff. They had a whole big kitchen set, like one that has cupboards and an oven and a hob and stuff, but it was a bit out of our price range” Nat said. “Clint thought you’d probably whine about where to put it anyway”

“For once in his life, he’s right” Tony said, and he smiled. “This stuff is great. Thank you. What do you say, Peter?”

“Thank you aunt Nat! Thank you uncle Clint!”

Bruce had bought Peter a tub of colourful wooden building blocks and a box of Stickle Bricks. 

“Stickle Bricks! I used to love those” Tony said. “I used to bite them”

Bruce laughed. “Yeah, they’re probably good to chew. I don’t think I ever had them, but some of my friends did”

He’d also bought Peter a big tub of marshmallows, a bar of fudge, and a box of chocolate chip shortbread. Loki wasn’t at all happy with that, but again, he didn’t say anything.

“I’m starting to rethink my own decisions” Steve said. “My presents aren’t nearly as fun as you guys’s”

“Hey, one of us has got to be the sensible one” Bruce said. “The kids plenty spoilt; he’ll like whatever you give him”

“I just got him a bunch of little things. I didn’t get him any sweets…”

“Good” Loki said, breaking his silence. “That little lot from the others is more than enough for the little tyke. He’ll still be getting through them when we find a reversal”

“Could be a few months, Loki” Steve said. “Have you heard anything from Thor?”

“Not yet”

“Can we just get on with the here and now?” Tony said. “I’ll end up cracking if I think about the future or the past too much”

“Sure, sure” Steve said. “Ok little Peter, you can open the things from me now, if you like”

Steve had taken on the role of the Sensible One pretty well. He’d bought Peter a little blue hooded toddler towel with a matching flannel, a book of traditional nursery rhymes, a little white plastic cutlery set with little grey elephants on the handles, a box of Peppa Pig plasters, a pack of animal alphabet flash cards, and a marble run.

“Like I said…” Steve said awkwardly. “They’re not as exciting as the others”

“They’re lovely, Steve. Thank you” Loki said sincerely. He paused, and then decided to address the others. “… All of you, thank you. It’s very generous of you to get him these things. We appreciate it”

“Yeah, Loki’s right. You didn’t have to do this. You’ve spoilt him. Thank you” he looked at Peter. “You haven’t said thank you to Steve, kiddo”

Peter looked up. He wasn’t sure what to make of Steve’s presents, but he grinned up at the man anyway.

“Thank you, uncle Steve”

“You’re welcome, Peter” Steve smiled. 

Peter looked at all of his new things. He thought for a moment, and then grabbed the plastic till.

“Are you gonna play with that now? Want me to get it out of the box for you, little guy?” Clint asked, taking the box from him. “We love the kid too; of course we’re gonna get him stuff. I told Loki I would, anyway”

“That kid’s not gonna get bored any time soon” Bruce said. 

“Best way to have it” Clint said. “Kids are easier when they’re entertained”

He set the till up for Peter, piling the plastic coins and paper bank notes up beside it. He showed him which button to press to open the till, and showed him how to use the bar code scanner. He pulled the netting off the shopping basket of play food.

“There, you’ve got a full shop now”

“My shop’s closed!” Peter shouted. “No grown-ups allowed!”

The grown-ups all laughed at him, and Clint put his hands up in surrender and backed off. Tony moved all the sweets onto one of the lamp tables, and then they all sat on the sofas and gave Peter some space. The toddler was quite happy ‘scanning’ the toy food and opening and closing the drawer of the till, and organising the toy money into all the sections of the till drawer. 

“It’s funny how hard they concentrate” Nat said. “He looks so busy”

“He  _is_ busy” Steve said. “He’s got a whole shop to run”

“He’s so cute” Bruce said. “Look at his little interested face”

“So” Clint said. “Have you given him a soldering iron yet?”

“I’m not  _that_ irresponsible!” Tony snapped, glaring at him. “ _Obviously_ he’s too young for the lab” 

The doorbell sounded, closely followed by the sound of the door opening and closing. Tony and Loki looked at each other.

“Is that..?”

“I’d imagine so”

It was hardly a minute before Thor entered the room. Peter jumped up excitedly and ran over to him.

“Uncle Thor!”

“Hello, Nephew Peter!”

Thor scooped the boy up in his arms, hugging him close. Tony had also stood up, and was looking at him expectantly. Thor noticed.

“Hello, Tony”

“Have you got it? The reversal?”

“Ah. That’s what I was going to talk about” Thor said, setting Peter down on the floor and distracting him with a plastic sardine tin to stop him from squeaking. 

“What? What is it? It’s been two weeks, Thor, for crying out loud!”

“Tony, shouting isn’t going to get you an answer any quicker” Loki mumbled. He looked up at his brother. “Spit it out”

“We haven’t made any progress. We’re still trying to track down and figure out Kindsprengen’s origin, and it’s hard to make a start without knowing these things”

“So what does that mean for my baby?!” Tony demanded. 

“It means he’s no closer to being turned back into a teenager”

“So he’s stuck like this?!”

“Tony, it’s only a temporary thing; we know that” Steve tried. 

“He’s safe and happy and healthy as a toddler, right?” Nat said. “Two weeks isn’t a long time. You knew this could be long-term”

Tony looked at Peter. The little boy was stood in front of the coffee table, chewing on the plastic sardine tin and shuffling from one foot to the other and crossing his legs.

“I think someone needs a wee” Clint said. 

“Peter?” Loki said, catching the toddler’s attention. “Do you need the toilet?”

Peter nodded.

“Ok, so why are you still stood here?”

Peter took the toy out of his mouth. “There’s people here. I wanna stay with people”

“You’re still allowed to go to the toilet” When Peter didn’t make a move, Loki hauled himself up and took the boys hand. “Come on”

“Is he toilet trained?” Bruce asked once they’d left the room.

“Yeah. We’ve had no issues till now anyway” Tony mumbled, grateful of the distraction stopping him from shouting at Thor. “Why would he want to stay?”

“Maybe it’s fear of missing out”

“In a child that young? No way” Tony flopped back on the sofa. “Ugh, I really had got it into my head that this would only be a couple of weeks”

“We’ll find a reversal. We just need some more time and information” Thor said, sitting beside him. 

“Are you staying on Earth for a bit now?”

“For a bit, yes. I’m not as much use with the reversal gun as you might think”

-

Once Peter had finished in the bathroom and came back out to the corridor, Loki knelt down to his level.

“If I give you a message, can you pass it on to daddy?”

Peter thought for a moment, and then nodded. “Ok”

-

Peter marched back into the living room and stood in front of Tony.

“Daddy, other daddy has gone for a lie down” he announced. “Because he’s too tired”

“Oh right” Tony said. “Well. Thanks for letting me know”

Peter giggled and ran over to his pile of new toys. He grabbed the tub of wooden building blocks and tried to prize the lid off.

“It’s stuck!” 

“I think there’s tape round it” Bruce said, taking the tub from him and scoring through the tape with a key. “There, you should be able to open it now”

Peter set the tub down and took the lid off. He tipped the tub upside down, emptying all the bricks out, and then set to work putting them in piles of red, green, blue, and yellow. 

“He knows his colours then” Steve said. “Does he know his shapes?”

“I’m not sure; I’ve not really tested him” Tony said.

Steve knelt down beside the boy, and picked up one of the building blocks. 

“What’s this, Peter?”

“Brick” Peter said.

“Yes, but do you know what shape and colour it is?”

Peter looked at it, and touched the side facing him. “That side is a red rectangle”

“Yep, that’s right” Steve said, reaching for another block. “When it’s 3D, it’s a cuboid”

“Steve, he doesn’t need to know that word” Nat said. “He’s three”

Peter held up a block. “I know this one! It’s a blue cylinder! It’s got a circle at the end, and the other end”

“I see. Very good!” Steve said, holding up another shape. “This one is a little harder. Do you know what this is?”

“Yellow” Peter said. “It’s a triangle prism”

“How the hell does he know what a triangular prism is?!” Clint said. “I don’t even think  _I_ knew that without the visual reference”

“Well, then it’s confirmed” Tony said. “You are officially thicker than a toddler. Please collect your participation trophy on your way out”

“Ha, ha, very funny”

“You’re a clever little thing, aren’t you?” Thor said, kneeling down beside Steve and ruffling Peter’s hair.

“I’m gonna build a tower” Peter said, starting to stack blocks one on top of the other.

Thor smiled and stood up. He turned to Tony.

“I’m going to take my leave”

“Oh” Tony looked disappointed. 

“I’ll come back again in a day or two” Thor said. “I promise”

-

Steve picked Peter up and sat down with him on his lap. 

“Why don’t we have a look at these?” he said, picking up the animal alphabet flash cards. “Do you like animals?”

Peter shrugged, relaxing back against Steve. “Can I have a dog?”

“You should probably ask your dad that one”

“Oh” Peter looked over at Tony. “Daddy? Can I have a dog?”

“Nope” Tony said, snatching his phone back from Clint. “I’ve already been through this with your father. Look at your flashcards”

“What’s a flashcard?”

“Ask uncle Steve”

Peter looked up at Steve, and then at the pack of cards in his hand. 

“Let’s have a look at them, shall we?”

Peter nodded slightly. Steve opened the pack, pulling them out of the cardboard sleeve. He held the first card up for Peter to see.

“A is for Anteater” he said. “See it’s long nose? Do you know what anteaters eat?”

“Ants?”

“That’s right! They probably eat other bugs too. Ok, let’s see the next one” he said. “B is for Bear. What do bears eat?”

“Um… Honey?”

“Well, I’m sure some do. Lots of bears eat fish” he went to the next card. “C is for Cow”

Clint leant closer to Tony. “When did you hire a tutor?”

Tony snickered. Well, Peter seemed happy enough. That was all that mattered.

-

Peter seemed to enjoy going through the flash cards, especially when he got to make all the different animal sounds. Even so, he was quite happy when Steve put him down on the floor afterwards and he was able to go back to his toys. He found his rocket and went over to Bruce to show it to him.

“How do you get him to behave so well?” Clint asked. “I was looking forward to watching you deal with a tantrum”

Tony rolled his eyes. “If it makes you feel any better, we started our day with him shrieking his head off”

-

After they’d all had something to eat, Peter started rounding everyone up.

“We’re gonna play a game!” he said.

“What game are we playing, honey?” Nat asked.

“Hide and seek. You’ve all gotta play!”

“Uh, can I opt out of this one?” Bruce asked.

Peter turned to him. “You’re first counter! You count to- to… you count, and we hide, and then you gotta find us”

Bruce grimaced, but he didn’t want to risk the boy having a major tantrum, so he nodded. 

“Daddy, you’ve gotta hide”

“Nah, I’ll stay here”

“But then you’re not playing!” Peter shouted.

“Sure I am. I’m gonna sit right here and act referee. I’ll catch out any cheaters” Tony said. 

Steve looked at Bruce. “Better start counting, Banner”

“Wait, wait. Ground rules” Tony said. “No going on the balconies, no going downstairs, and no going in mine and Loki’s bedrooms. Other than that? Fair game”

Tony had successfully excused himself from the game, and Bruce was reluctant, but the others were happy to humour the toddler. As soon as Bruce started counting they all dispersed. Tony sat back quite happily, scrolling on his phone.

Bruce reached twenty, and stood up. “Next time, I’m the referee”

*


	13. Toast

-

Bruce made sure the game worked to Peter’s advantage. He pretended not to see the boy huddled under the hallway chair, and went and found everyone else first before going back and finally ‘discovering’ him.

“You won, kid” Bruce said. “That means you count now. Back to the referee, alright?”

They all went back to the living room. Tony looked up from his phone. 

“How did it go?”

“Peter won” Steve said. “So he’s counting now”

“Alright. Counting to twenty, kid”

“Ok, ok! My turn!” Peter covered his eyes with his hands. “One, two-”

Everyone but the referee went off to hide. Peter counted to ten, and then stopped.

“Umm…” he lowered his hands and looked at Tony. “What’s next?”

“Eleven”

“Eleven… What’s next?”

“Twelve”

“Twelve… What’s next?”

“Count with me, ok? Thirteen, fourteen-”

Tony counted, and Peter tried to follow along. They reached twenty, and Tony chucked him under the chin. 

“Time to find them”

“READY OR NOT, HERE I COME!”

-

Peter found Bruce first. Truth be told, the scientist didn’t try too hard, so he knew he’d be found first. He still acted shocked and disappointed when Peter found him.

Peter giggled happily. “You gotta help me find everyone else now!”

“Ok, ok. Where do you want to look?”

“Down there! Come on!”

They searched together, quickly finding Steve behind the sofa in the back room.

“Found you!!” Peter said, pulling at his arm. “We gotta find aunt Nat and uncle Clint now!”

Finding those two proved a lot more difficult. At first Bruce and Steve just pretended to look, but then they had to actually start helping. 

“This our own fault for playing with Black Widow” Steve said. “Clint’s almost as sneaky too”

“They’ve disappeared” Peter pouted. “Where are they?”

“We’ve got to find them; that’s the point of the game” Bruce said. 

“AUNT NAT!” Peter shouted. “AUNT NAT!!”

“She won’t come out: she’s playing the game” Bruce said. 

Peter stormed about, peering under chairs and tables and behind doors and curtains. He scowled, looking at Bruce and Steve for help.

“We’re looking too” Bruce said. “We’ll find them”

-

They eventually found Nat hidden on top of the wardrobe in one of the spare rooms. Technically, Steve found her. He glanced up by chance, and nearly had a heart attack when he spotted her. Nat had nearly cried laughing. She jumped down from the wardrobe and scooped Peter up in her arms. 

“So that makes me the winner, right?” she grinned, kissing him on the cheek.

Peter giggled and shook his head. “We’ve gotta find uncle Clint!”

Nat’s face fell as she feigned full seriousness. “Well then. Let’s find him”

“We’ve looked everywhere. Any bright ideas?” Bruce asked. 

“I’ll weasel him out”

-

Even Nat couldn’t find Clint. Peter started getting cross, and stalked off to the living room to find Tony.

“Daddy! Come and help us look” he demanded.

“Uhhh” Tony looked up at the other grown-ups. “So, just bird-man left, is it?”

“Yep, just the bird man” Bruce sighed, flopping down on the sofa. “I’m taking a break”

“I think I’ll join you” Steve said. “We’ve done our bit. Time for the big man to step up”

Tony sighed, shoved his phone in his pocket, and hauled himself up out of his seat.

“Let’s go” Tony said. “He’s gotta be round here somewhere. If he’s in the bedroom, I’ll string him up with his own bow and arrow”

-

Tony lost his patience pretty quickly. 

“Where the hell is he?”

Peter whined. “He’s gone! It’s not fair!”

He heard something, and stopped. He turned tail and ran round the corner.

“UNCLE CLINT!!”

“Oh fuck!”

Peter ran at him, and Tony did too. He grabbed him with an arm round the neck.

“Where the hell have you been?” he growled. “We’ve been looking for you for ages”

“You hided for ever!” Peter said, grabbing onto Clint’s leg.

“Ow, Tony! Let go of me!” Clint protested. 

“What were you doing in the hallway?” Nat said, and then she clicked. “You’ve been changing hiding places, haven’t you?”

Peter squawked indignantly. “CHEATER! YOU’RE A CHEATER! DADDY, HE CHEATED!”

“He did! He cheated at hide and seek, the bastard” Tony said, tightening his grip around Clint’s neck. “What shall we do with him, chick?”

“Cover him in honey and feathers like a real bird?” Nat suggested.

“Ooh, that’s a good one” Tony said. “Hmm… My mind’s gone blank”

“Aw come on, be a friend! Let go of me. Peter, let them let me go”

“On ONE condition!” Peter said, letting go of his leg. “I want… I want FOUR dollars”

Clint twisted out of Tony’s grip, reaching into his pocket for his wallet.

“All I’ve got is a five” he said. 

“I can make that work” Peter said.

Tony snorted, and Nat laughed. Clint gave Peter the fiver. Peter wasn’t sure what to do now that he had it, but he nodded. And then he yawned. 

“I think someone needs a nap” Tony said, scooping Peter up in his arms. “Ready for a little sleep, darling?”

“But what about the game?”

“You’ve finished the game. Come on then; nap time”

-

Loki woke up feeling surprisingly refreshed. He stayed in bed a few minutes longer, stretching and allowing himself to wake up properly. He looked at the photo of Peter and Tony on his bedside table. He pushed the frame onto it’s face, and sat up. He supposed he should join everyone again.

-

Bruce had left, having been called away, but the other three were still there. Tony was sat close against Steve, talking with him. Clint and Nat were knelt on the rug having a pretend tea party with little Peter. Well, the drinks were pretend, but they had real food: the big box of jelly babies had been opened, and it looked as though they’d got through a lot of them.

“I think that’s enough sweets for one day” Loki said, swiping the box.

Peter squeaked at him. “Not fair! Daddy said I could have them!”

“Hey baby” Tony grinned when Loki turned to him. “Good sleep?”

Loki scowled. “You could at least try to be responsible”

“Hey, it’s a treat!”

“It’ll spoil his dinner”

“When did you get so serious?” 

Loki rolled his eyes and sat down beside him. He put his arms round his shoulders and glared at Steve, who wisely shifted away from Tony a little.

“Do you want us to go? If you’re going to be having food soon-”

“No! Nah, you can all stay for tea if you want. I haven’t thought about what we’re gonna have yet though” Tony said. 

“We could always get a takeaway” Clint suggested, setting his tea cup down. “That’s an easy option, right?”

“Yeah, or… We could go out?” Tony said.

“Where do you want to go?” Nat asked.

“I don’t know. Somewhere we haven’t been for a while” Tony thought for a moment. “Wagamama’s?”

“That’s Japanese, right?” Nat said. “I haven’t been for ages”

“I’ve never been” Steve said. “Is it good?”

“Oh yeah, definitely. I used to go with May” Tony said. He frowned slightly. 

“When did you last go?” Steve asked gently.

“We went a couple of weeks before she died… So it’s been a pretty long time” he cleared his throat. “So anyway, when was the last time we all went out for a group meal, eh? It could be good”

“I’m up for that” Clint said, and Nat and Steve nodded in agreement. “Loki?”

“What?”

“You up for it?”

“I’ll think about it”

“Better make up your mind, Lolly” Tony said. “It’s getting on for tea time already”

Loki didn’t say anything. Tony found the restaurants menu online, and handed Loki his phone. 

“Have a read through that and see what you think” 

“I think it’s a bad idea. I’ll stay here with Peter”

“Just read the menu, Loki” Tony sighed. 

Loki reluctantly took the phone and scrolled through the menu. He’d been once before with people from the hospital, a long time ago. They’d had a good evening, but Loki was friends with them. Him and Nat still didn’t see eye to eye, and him and Clint were only just starting to be civil with each other. Besides, while big Peter probably would have jumped at the chance, little Peter might get fussy. He might not like the food, and he’d heard from Tony about the boy getting nervous and upset when he was crowded in public. Tony almost always drew a crowd when they went out to eat, so Peter might get upset again. He’d have to put his foot down. Tony wouldn’t like it, and Peter might throw a tantrum, but he could live with that. It was for the best.

-

Loki rested his head on his hand and glared down at the menu. He still wasn’t entirely sure how he’d ended up there. Maybe it was because Tony had had a go at him. Or maybe it was because Peter had started crying and everyone else had shouted at him for upsetting the boy. Whatever it was, he knew he’d rather be anywhere else but here. 

Peter was stood on the bench, leaning against Tony and looking at the menu. Tony put his menu down and made Peter sit on the bench.

“You need to look at this one” he said, giving Peter one of the kids menus. “Have a little read of that and see what you like the look of”

Peter sat and looked at the menu for a minute. He looked up at everyone. Clint and Steve were bickering over something or other, and Nat was trying to shut them up. Tony was scanning the menu and humming to himself. Loki was looking at a lady sat a few tables over. Peter whined and fixed his gaze on Tony until he was noticed.

“What’s up, my dear? You do look a bit like a deer, actually, come to think of it. Remember Bambi? You look a bit like Bambi. Bambi… Bambino” Tony smiled at him. “What’s up,  _Bambino_?”

Peter looked at the menu, and then back at Tony.

“What does this say?”

The look on Tony’s face could only be described as a strange mix of confusion, disbelief, and amazement at his own stupidity.

“Loki? Loki!”

Loki looked at Tony. “What?”

“I don’t think Peter knows how to read”

“Your point being?”

“Did you know?”

“It’s not something I’d tested” Loki said. “Anything else?”

Tony glared at him. He sighed, and sat Peter on his lap. 

“Ok darling, I’ll read this to you. We’ll find you something yummy, ok?”

Tony helped Peter with the menu. Peter kept one hand on the menu, as though following the words with his finger. It looked as though he knew the odd word.

“Loki?” Tony said. “I think he can read a little bit. Do you think we could teach him?”

Loki just shrugged, not looking up. Tony scowled, and kicked him under the table.

“Ow! Tony! What are you playing at?!”

“What are  _you_  playing at?”

“Oh for gods sake-” Loki grumbled, standing up.

“And where do you think you’re going?” Tony demanded.

“I need some air” Loki said, storming off.

Tony sighed heavily, and passed Peter to Steve. “Here, look after him for me”

He stood up and went after Loki. Peter looked up at Steve, biting his thumb.

“Don’t worry, little one” Steve said. “Your daddy just overheats sometimes”

“That’s right” Nat said. “He’ll be ok in a minute or two”

“Exactly” Clint nodded. “Now, what are you going to order?”

-

Tony hauled himself up onto the railing Loki was leaning against.

“I haven’t seen you smoke for a while”

Loki glanced at him, taking another drag. Tony tapped his fingers against the metal.

“What’s going on, chick? You’ve been funny all day” he waited a few seconds. “Is it the M.E?”

“No”

“Ah, you’ve still got a voice, then”

Loki didn’t say anything. Tony watched him for a minute. 

“Is it the PTSD?” he said eventually.

Loki paused. “I’ve never been diagnosed with that”

He put the cigarette to his lips.

“Only because you don’t want to be. We both know you’re symptomatic”

“I’m symptomatic of many things”

Tony sighed. “You’re not helping yourself”

“I don’t need help”

Tony took Loki’s cigarette from him and took a drag. He jumped down from the railing, dropped the stub on the ground, and stepped on it. 

“… I thought he’d have found a reversal by now”

Tony looked at him. “Is that what this is about?”

“I think so”

“You think so?”

“I think we need to talk again”

“Later” Tony put his arms round Loki’s waist. “You’re allowed to relax. You’ve been so serious this week. You’ve never been the strict dad. Well, not really. Not in the same way… Listen, I know I spent a week being rubbish, but I don’t think that means you can do the same”

“I don’t want to step back. I’m just still getting my head round this all. We’ve got pictures of Peter - big Peter - all over the place. I’ve had to change my phone lock screen because it was like being stabbed in the heart every time I checked the time… I love little Peter. I love him more than anything else in the world. I’d do anything for him. But I still miss big Peter”

“I know. I do too” Tony sighed sadly. “But little Peter needs us. He’s a cute little kid. We’ve had a bit of fun with him. He needs both of us… God, it was you saying all this to me a week ago!”

“I know… Liz’s letter, her box, it kinda drove it all home just a little bit more”

“It’s not forever” Tony said. “Loki, I don’t want to think about big Peter. I don’t want to think about the past. I don’t even want to think ahead to when we’ve got teenage Peter back. I know I’ll crack up if I do. We need to focus on the now, right?”

Loki finally wound his arms round Tony. Tony took a deep breath, and kissed him - and Loki kissed him back, hard, holding him closer, tighter, kissing him deeper, resting a hand on the back of his head, and feeling like he understood.

-

The others were wise enough not to ask questions when Tony and Loki came back inside. 

“Right, I think we’re all ready to order” Steve said. 

“Good, I think I’m ready too. Loki?”

Loki nodded. “What about you, Peter?”

“I’m having the same as uncle Steve!” he said proudly.

Everyone laughed at him. Tony ruffled his hair, and set him back in his place.

“And what would that be?”

“Chicken ramen” Steve said. “We thought we could get a handful of sides to share too”

“Good idea” 

“Are you all ready to order?” A waitress asked, stopping at their table.

“We sure are” Tony said, flashing her a smile. “Ladies first. Nat, what are you having?”

-

They were told it might be a bit of a wait on food due to how busy they were, but they didn’t mind.

“Weird having a rush on a Sunday, isn’t it?” Clint said. 

Peter was thoroughly enjoying his new surroundings. It was very bright and different, and he liked looking at what people on the other tables were eating. He was happy looking around while the grown-ups talked. He grinned when their waitress stopped at the table with their drinks.

“Hi again!” he said.

“Hi again, sweetheart!” the waitress smiled, setting a glass of juice down in front of him. “This one must be yours”

Peter wasn’t thirsty, so he left his drink alone for now. However, he was intrigued by the funny ceramic cups all the others had alongside their cold drinks.

“What’s that?” he asked.

“Green tea” Tony said. 

“Why don’t I have it?”

“You wouldn’t like it”

Peter pouted. “I want some!”

Tony looked at Loki. “Should we let him try some?”

Loki took a sip of his own tea. It wasn’t too hot, so he nodded at Tony.

“Yes, but support the cup”

Tony helped Peter take a little drink of his green tea. Peter’s face screwed up in disgust.

“Yuck!”

Tony laughed. “See, I said you wouldn’t like it”

Clint shifted closer to Loki. “I should’ve placed a bet on it, really”

“I’m sorry?”

“On my idea. Y’know, the whole forcing-him-to-look-after-the-kid-for-a-night-alone idea. It worked, didn’t it?”

Loki laughed slightly. “Well, perhaps”

“He’s back to being a good dad, isn’t he? I mean, look at the two of them!”

Loki looked at them. Peter was back on Tony’s lap, and Tony was playing round and round the garden with him, making him squeal when he tickled him. 

“He was rocky at first, but on the whole he’s been great this week” Loki admitted. “It’s such a relief”

“From what Tony’s been saying, you’ve been great too”

“He’s been talking about me?”

“Uh, yeah! He’s always talking about you” Clint said. “Singing your praises isn’t anything new. Just the toddler thing”

“I see…”

“The kid’s happy. You’ve worked things out, haven’t you?”

“Mostly. I’m trying not to look at it like it’s forever, while also making sure to look after him like it is. Does that make sense?”

“Kinda? I know it’s super weird. I’ve read some of those blogs the parents of some of Kindsprengen’s other victims have written. It’s weird how their memories are affected”

“If I’m honest, I’m glad their memories were affected” Loki said. “Imagine if teenage Peter’s mind was still there. Imagine him being trapped in a toddlers body, but still being him. Imagine how that would feel. I think it’s a mercy that they can’t remember being big. It’s less distressing this way”

“I hadn’t thought of that, but now that I have, I get what you mean. He’d still need help with things, and I can imagine him getting angry if he still had his teenage brain. I bet it’d be a whole lot harder” Clint said. “But that begs the question: when he’s turned back into a teenager, will he keep these toddler memories?”

The whole table caught Clint’s question. Peter didn’t pay attention, but the others did.

“I hadn’t thought about that” Tony said.

“I don’t think any of us have” Nat said. “If the first gun blocked his teenage memories, will the second one block his toddler memories?”

“I’m gonna stop everyone there” Steve said. “The only way to get an answer to that is to wait for the reversal gun. But I have got another question. It’s mainly for you two”

He looked at Loki and Tony. They glanced at each other, and then back at Steve.

“What?”

“When he’s been turned back into a teenager, do you want him to remember all of this?”

There was a long silence. Loki and Tony looked at each other.

“We don’t know” Loki said.

“What do you lot think?” Tony asked.

“You know, I don’t think we know either” Steve said. 

“If it were me-”

Clint was cut off by the waitress returning. If they were honest, the distraction was a welcome one. Thinking about the effects of Kindsprengen’s gun too much made them all feel weird, and in truth, quite scared.

-

The power of a good meal was always a surprise to Loki. It was so much easier to feel better with the help of hot food. It also helped that he generally got along with Steve, and was starting to get along with Clint. It made it a lot more comfortable. Tony was also happy helping Peter, who was struggling along with his kids ramen, so Loki was able to relax more than he expected to. 

“Do you wanna try any of the little sides, Bambino?” Tony asked. “There’s a few to choose from”

“Oh” Peter looked up at him. “I don’t know”

“He’ll like these” Nat said, passing the edamame over to them. “Try one of those, kid”

Peter took one of the pods and bit into it. Tony spluttered, trying not to laugh at him and the look on his face.

“You don’t eat the pods, kiddo!” he said. He took a pod from the bowl, showing him. “Here, see, you just squeeze them, and eat the beans inside” 

“Oh” Peter tried again, and found that he quite liked the beans. It was fun squeezing them out of the pod. 

“What else might he like?” Steve said. 

“Uhh… Somehow I doubt he’ll go for squid”

“I wanna try some of uncle Clint’s!” Peter said.

“Sure, kiddo” Clint said, pushing his side over to Peter.

“Hold on, isn’t that cauliflower doused in spicy sauce?” Loki said. 

“It can’t be that spicy, surely” Tony said.

Loki stabbed his fork into a bit of the cauliflower and took a bite. He coughed a little. 

“Wow, that’s worse than I expected” he said. “There’s no way you can give that to him”

Tony took Loki’s fork, putting the rest in his mouth. He coughed properly.

“Oh wow, I see. That’s pretty good though” he went for another forkful, but Loki stopped him.

“It made you cough!”

“Yeah but it tasted good”

“Stop! Give it back to Barton”

“Nice bit of alliteration there” Tony said, reluctantly pushing the bowl back to Clint and handing Loki back his fork. 

Peter slammed his little hand down on the table. “Not fair!”

“Stop moaning and eat your noodles, you cheeky monkey” Tony said. “Or no pudding”

Peter pouted and picked up his fork. There was no way he was giving up the chance of pudding. 

-

Everyone but Tony was defeated by their main courses.

“That was more filling than I expected” Nat said. 

“Yeah, it’s a lot” Tony said. “It’s good though, right?”

“Definitely”

“Pudding!” Peter said. “I want pudding!”

“Oh definitely” Nat said. “It has to be done”

“I’m surprised he’s still got an appetite” Steve said. “You’ve eaten a lot, kid”

“Hey, we all have a separate dessert stomach” Clint said. “I’m definitely having pudding”

Tony shrugged. “Fine by me. Loki?”

“I’ll have to see the menu first”

They asked for the dessert menus when the waitress cleared. It was ok for Peter, because he could just have the vanilla ice cream with chocolate sauce from the kids menu, but everyone else went into indecisive mode. 

“You know, I don’t know if I’d manage a pudding. I might just have an americano” Steve said.

“CAPTAIN AMERICANO!” Peter shouted. 

Loki and Nat spluttered, and Clint and Tony both laughed. Even Steve smiled, but he told Peter to keep his voice down.

“Captain Americano, oh my god” Tony wiped the tear from his eye. “My son is a genius”

“I’m never letting that one go” Nat said.

“You need it on a coffee mug” Loki said.

Peter grinned and giggled, pleased with himself. Tony ruffled his hair.

“You’re a funny one, kiddo”

“It’s starting to get late” Clint said. “We should probably choose so he can go to bed”

“Since when did you become sensible?” Nat said.

“I’m just saying-”

“You’re probably right” Loki said, looking back at the menu. “Right, I’m having that matcha cheesecake, so if someone would kindly take this menu from me so I don’t have a chance to change my mind, that would be greatly appreciated”

-

They all went back to the Stark’s and had a quick hot drink, arriving back much later than planned. Clint and Nat were dropping Steve off on their way back to their digs, so they all bid farewell at the same time. The house felt quiet without them, but in a nice way. It felt calm, and happy.

“We were supposed to give the kid a bath tonight” Tony said.

Loki looked over at Peter, who was curled up on the armchair with his rocket, fighting to keep his eyes open.

“I don’t think that’s gonna happen” he said gently, going over to the armchair and lifting the boy into his arms. “Shhhh, shh. It’s ok; it’s just daddy. It’s bedtime, darling”

“…’m not hungry”

“Well, after that meal, I’m not surprised. Ok darling, let’s get you to bed”

“Not hungry”

“I think he means tired” Tony said, standing up. “He’s had a long day; he’s all mixed up. I’ll tidy up all his toys while you’re settling him down, ok?”

“Ok. Thank you” Loki said. “Are you going to say goodnight to daddy, chick?”

Peter whined, hugging his rocket tight. Tony kissed him on the nose.

“Goodnight, little boy. See you in the morning”

-

Loki could see how tired Peter was, so he didn’t make him brush his teeth or wash his face. He tried to get some pyjamas sorted, but Peter whined and clung to him whenever he tried to put him down.

Loki sighed. “Do you need a wee before you go to bed?”

“Yes…”

“Ok, you’ll need to let go of me, then”

Peter did so reluctantly. While he was busy, Loki was free to source some clean pyjamas and sort Peter’s bed. He checked it thoroughly in case another push pin was lurking, but found it clear. 

He got Peter into his pyjamas and tucked him into bed with his rocket. Peter fell asleep almost immediately. Loki turned the night light on, and kissed the boy on the forehead.

“Goodnight, sweetheart. See you in the morning”

-

Despite his late night, Peter woke up early. He grabbed his rocket, jumped out of bed, and padded off to Loki’s room. Loki was still fast asleep, with Tony asleep beside him.

“DADDIES!” Peter shouted, running over to the bed. “Daddies!!”

Loki and Tony jumped awake.

“Bloody hell, kid, do you have to shout so loud?!” Tony grumbled, sitting up slowly. “What do you want?”

“It’s morning! Time to get up!”

Loki checked his watch. “Peter, it’s six in the morning”

“Ok” Peter said. “Time to get up!”

“No,  _not_ time to get up” Tony said, scooping the boy onto the bed and plonking him down between himself and Loki. “It’s too early to get up. Go back to sleep”

“But it’s morning!”

Tony lay back down, pushing Peter onto his back. “Go to sleep”

“I don’t want to! It’s time to get up!”

Loki sighed. He grabbed Peter and put him back on the floor. Peter blinked at him.

“Time to get up!”

“Go back to your room, Peter. Daddy and I are still sleeping” Loki said. 

“No you’re not; you’re awake!”

“Go”

“No!”

Loki sighed heavily, hauling himself out of bed and picking the boy up. He took him back to his room, lay him down on the bed, and tucked him in tight. 

“Go back to sleep”

“But it’s morning!”

“I don’t care. Stay in here until we come and get you. Grown-ups need to sleep. Don’t you dare move from that bed, do you understand me?”

“I wanna get up!” Peter struggled out from under the covers and stood up. “I wanna get  _up_!” 

Loki looked at him for a moment, and then picked him up again. He took him to the living room and sat him on the sofa.

“Now, if you’re a very good boy, and you behave impeccably, you can sit here and watch telly until daddy and I get up. Ok?”

“Ok!”

Loki turned the telly on, clicked onto a kids channel, and put the remote on the back of the sofa. 

“Be good”

-

Tony pulled Loki close when he crawled back into bed. 

“Is he asleep?”

“No; he’s watching telly”

“Are you sure we can trust him?”

“No” Loki said. “But if it gives us the chance at a lie-in, that’s good enough for me”

*


	14. Should I Laugh Or Cry?

-

Tony and Loki both dozed until late in the morning. Eventually they dragged themselves out of bed and had a shower together before getting dressed and deciding they should probably go and check on Peter.

Peter had long since lost interest in the television. He’d emptied most of his toys out of their boxes onto the floor, setting up an elaborate game. He’d also breakfasted himself by way of the big box of jelly babies, which he’d completely finished.The room was a mess, and Peter was a bit sticky from all of his sweets, but mercifully, there didn’t seem to be any permanent damage done to anything.

“Peter, this is ridiculous” Loki said. “Are you playing with all of these toys?”

“Um… yes?”

“No, you’re not. I’ve asked you before to put away anything you’d finished playing with. It looks like a bomb site in here”

Peter pouted, dropping another marble in his marble run. He hadn’t figured it out properly yet, so the marble just dropped to the bottom instead of zigzagging its way down.

“Peter, are you listening to me?”

Peter shrugged, picking up another marble.

“Peter!” Tony snapped. “Don’t ignore us”

Peter jumped at Tony’s tone. Tony held a hand out to him.

“Get up. You’re all grim and sticky. You need to wash your hands and face and brush your teeth”

“I don’t want to!”

“It wasn’t a suggestion. Come on now”

“I’m playing!”

“I don’t care” Tony said. “You need to come with me and have a quick wash”

“NO!”

“Don’t you  _dare_ shout at me! Now, you’re going to do as you’re told, or I’ll smack your bottom, do you understand me?”

Peter understood. He scowled, but stood up and let Tony take his hand. 

“Good boy. Let’s go and get you cleaned up”

-

Peter fussed like anything about having to wash his hands and face and brush his teeth. He squeaked and shouted and threw a huge tantrum, until Tony grabbed him by the shoulders and gave him a little shake.

“Remember what I said, little boy! You’ll get a good smack if you don’t behave yourself” 

Peter cried a bit, but he calmed down just enough to get washed without incident.

“Good boy. Now try to behave yourself a little longer while we get you dressed”

“I don’t want you to get me dressed!”

“Well, that’s just tough” Tony said, grabbing his hand and taking him back into the bedroom. “Let’s find you something to wear”

“NO! I WANNA GET  _MYSELF_ DRESSED”

Tony paused for a moment. “…Really?”

“Yes! Go away! I can get dressed by myself!”

“Ok, ok! Stop shouting, and I’ll leave you to it. But you come right back through to the living room as soon as you’re dressed, ok?”

Peter nodded. “Ok, now get out!”

He pushed against Tony’s legs, pushing him towards the door. Tony laughed despite himself, and stepped out of the room obediently. Peter quickly closed the door, shutting him out.

-

“…Where is he?” Loki asked.

“He insisted he wanted to dress himself” Tony said, sticking the kettle on. “How do you think that’s gonna go?”

“Well” Loki said. “He’s dressed himself before, when I’ve chosen the clothes for him”

“I think most of the stuff we bought matches, right?”

Loki nodded. “As long as he doesn’t come out with a pyjama top on, it’ll be fine. He’s not got the option of coming in here in a tutu and striped leggings” 

-

Peter marched into the kitchen looking very proud of himself. He’d put on black jeans and a white t-shirt, with his little black denim jacket and a black beanie pulled over his head. Loki laughed at him.

“Very nice. Here, let me sort your hat our, baby” Loki said, taking the beanie off him and putting it back on so he was wearing it on the back of his head. “Aww, you look so cute with your little curls. Doesn’t he look cute, Tony?”

“He definitely takes after me” Tony said. “Look at that fashion sense! He’s gotta be the most style-conscious toddler around. Damn, we chose well when we went shopping. You were right about it being ok”

Peter wrinkled his nose at him.

“You need to go and tidy up your toys, kiddo” Tony said.

“Why?”

“Because we’re going out, and everything needs to be tidy before we leave”

“Where are we going?”

“We won’t be going anywhere if you spend all day asking questions. Go and tidy up your toys”

Peter pouted and stalked off to the second sitting room. He looked at the toys littering the floor. Why did he have to put them away? He’d only have to get them out again next time he wanted to play with them. Besides, they looked fine where they were. Everything was in easy reach. And his toys looked much nicer than his parents tapestry throw pillows and their weird statues from places he’d never been. If they could leave their things lying around, why couldn’t he? He’d just leave everything for now. It wasn’t the end of the world.

-

Tony looked down at Peter when the boy came back into the kitchen.

“Finished?” he said.

“Yep”

“Good boy”

Peter held his arms up to Loki, who picked him up and sat him on his lap.

“Out?”

“Yes, we’re going out in a bit” Loki said. 

“Can we go to the park?”

“No, darling. We’re going to the museum and art gallery”

“That’s BORING!” Peter said. “I wanna go to the park”

“We’re going to the galleries” Loki said firmly.

“I WANT TO GO TO THE PARK!”

“Hey, keep your voice down!” Tony hissed. “We’re going to the museum and the art gallery, and we’re going to get some things to send Liz”

“Why?!”

“Because we want to give her a proper thank you for that box of things she bought you”

“I DON’T WANT TO GO TO THE BORING OLD MUSEUM!”

“It’s not boring. It’ll be good” Loki said. “Now stop shouting”

“I DON’T WANT TO GO! I WANNA GO TO THE PARK! I WANNA GO TO THE PARK!”

“Peter, shut up” Tony said. “Make the most of today, because your next outing isn’t going to be anywhere near as pleasant”

Loki looked at him. “What do you mean?”

“He’s getting his booster jabs tomorrow, remember?” 

“Oh yes, I forgot” Loki said, setting Peter down on the floor. “Go and get your rocket, darling”

Peter stormed off. Tony raised an eyebrow at Loki.

“He’s grumpy this morning”

“Isn’t he just?” Loki said. “I thought he’d be a little more enthusiastic. Big Peter and I spend hours in the museums, even though we’ve been so many times”

“Yeah, but he likes reading everything. The toddler can’t read”

“He likes looking at everything else too” Loki said. “Especially the art gallery. He spent a full 45 minutes in front of a single painting once”

Tony sighed. “Maybe he’ll enjoy himself. Should we feed him before we go out?”

“We’ll see”

Peter reappeared, clutching his rocket to his chest.

“Are you hungry?” Tony asked him.

“No”

“Ok. Thirsty?”

“No”

“Right. Well. Shoes then, I guess”

“His white ones are by the sofa in the second living room” Loki said.

“Good. I’ll go and grab them”

-

Tony called Peter into the second sitting room. Peter stood in front of his father.

“What?”

“Don’t you ‘what’ me, little boy. Now, look around. What do you see?”

Peter looked at the sea of toys on the floor. He shrugged.

“What did I ask you to do?”

Peter shrugged.

“I asked you to tidy up all your toys. Why haven’t you done it?”

Peter shrugged again.

“Stop shrugging!” Tony said irritably. “Use your words. Why haven’t you tidied up your toys?”

Peter just shrugged. Again. Tony narrowed his eyes at the boy.

“Tidy up your toys this instant” he stayed where he stood. “Well, go on then! Get started”

Peter shook his head. “Don’t want to”

“I don’t care whether you want to or not. All of these toys need to go back in their packs, and back in the toy boxes. Now”

“NO!”

Loki came into the room. He opened his mouth to speak, and then saw the state of the room. He sighed.

“Peter, you need to tidy up”

“Why?”

“Because it’s a mess in here, and your toys don’t need to be out in this quantity, especially when you’re not using them”

Peter pouted. 

“Do you want me to help you?”

Peter nodded. Loki knelt down beside him, finding the tub his building blocks belonged in. 

“Ok, let’s put all your bricks in here, ok? Now, once that’s done, we’ll put the Stickle Bricks in this box here, and then we’ll go from there. Ok?”

Peter paused, and then crouched down and picked up a couple of bricks. He dropped them into the tub. 

“Good boy” Loki said softly.

Tony watched them, shaking his head in disbelief. How Loki always knew how to get round the toddler was completely beyond him.

-

No more than twenty minutes later, all of the toys were away, Peter’s shoes were on, the bag was packed, and they were down in the garage. Tony strapped Peter into his car seat.

“Stop pouting, boy-o” he said. “Here, hold your rocket”

Peter buried his face in his rocket, grumbling to himself. Tony shook his head and closed the car door. He had a feeling this outing was going to be a challenge.

-

Peter was still cross when they got to the museum. He didn’t want to be there. He let himself be strapped into his buggy without any fuss.

“Are you tired, darling?” Loki asked, knowing he usually fought not to be put in the buggy so that he could walk.

Peter didn’t say anything. Loki sighed and ruffled his hair. Peter whined and tried to pull away. He flopped back in his seat, pulling at the fabric edges. This was boring. Museums were boring, and his parents were boring. Boring, boring, boring. He wanted to go to the park. The park wasn’t boring.

Peter stayed quiet for a long time in the museum. He hugged his rocket and hummed to himself, daydreaming. Loki and Tony tried to get him interested, reading things out for him and telling him facts about some of the artefacts, but Peter hardly reacted. He just blinked at them, or ignored them entirely, so after a while they gave up trying. They talked quite happily together, stopping to discuss some of the exhibits at length. 

Tony had gotten into museums not long after he had started dating Loki. They’d just been walking past a museum one day, and Loki had stopped in his tracks, intrigued by the architecture and the opening times notice. Tony had elbowed him in the side and said they could go in if he wanted. So they did. They went to a lot of museums and galleries after that. Even now, if Tony was working away and stumbled across a museum, he often popped in for a bit if he had time, taking photos of things that might interest Loki, and always getting a postcard to send to him. 

Loki had always enjoyed his museums. He liked learning about Earth culture and history at first, and now, he liked the calm atmosphere. After getting to know Peter, and especially after adopting him, he’d taken the boy to lots of museums and galleries. Peter liked spending time with Loki, and he liked reading. He often spent a long time reading every scrap of text in a museum, more than the average person, and even on exhibits he wasn’t especially interested in. He took more time than even Loki. In art galleries, he liked sitting on the benches in the centre of the rooms, looking at the art on the walls and thinking. He liked the calm atmosphere too. 

-

Peter fell asleep for a little while. The sound of a baby screaming woke him up, and he jumped awake so violently that he scared himself and started crying too.

“Oh sweetheart, it’s ok, don’t cry” Loki said, unclipping his straps and lifting him out of the buggy to give him a cuddle. “Shh, you’re ok”

Peter calmed down fairly quickly. Loki kept the boy on his hip.

“Shh. Good boy” he said, and tried to turn his attention to the displays in the next room. “Here, look at this. See the old teddy bears?”

Peter looked in the glass case. The bears were incredibly old, bald in placed where their fur had fallen out, and one had no eyes.

“He’s wearing a skirt”

“It’s a kilt. He’s from Scotland” Loki said. 

“I like the donkey” Peter said, looking at the toy donkey on wheels. 

“That’s my favourite one” Tony said. “What do you think of the dolls?”

Peter looked at the dolls on the shelf below the bears. It was a good collection of china dolls, some just in petticoats, others in full dresses with felt kid boots. Peter wrinkled his nose.

“I don’t like them” 

Tony laughed. “Can’t say I blame you: they’re not my cup of tea either”

Peter gave him a confused look, and rested his cheek against Loki’s chest. He went quiet, but he let Loki show him all of the old toys. He especially liked the big rocking horse and the dolls houses. They found a big display case that took up most of one wall. It housed a huge open-front dolls house, and there was a red button in front of it.

“Daddy?”

“Yes, darling?”

“Can I walk?”

“If you’d like to”

Loki put him down. The boy toddled over to the big case, climbing up onto the wooden step in front of it, and pressed the button. Little lights went on in every room of the huge dolls house.

“Oh!”

Peter put his hands up on the ledge, peering into the case. He looked at all the little dolls house people. He looked at the little cupboard under the stairs. He looked at all the dolls house furniture and the little pictures on the walls and the miniature books on the little shelves. He looked at the tiny rugs and the little rocking horse and train set in the nursery. And then the lights went off.

“Oh!”

“It’s ok, darling. Just press the button again”

Peter did, and the lights went back on. 

“Oh!”

Tony chuckled. “He’s so funny sometimes”

“Yes. Well, he’s starting to show an interest, which is nice”

“Funny how the dolls house is what did it”

Once the lights had timed out for the third time, Tony took Peter by the hand. 

“Let’s move on, chick”

“Why?”

“There’s lots more to look at. Come on”

Peter stepped down from the wooden step and went along with Tony. He looked back over his shoulder longingly. He liked the dolls house. He shook his head and moved on, not entirely out of choice. Oh well. Maybe there’d be more toys to see.

-

Peter was good for the rest of the museum trip, but he started whining when they headed to the art gallery. Tony shoved him back in the buggy and gave him some of the shortbread Bruce had bought him to keep him quiet. Peter ate his shortbread and went quiet, cuddling his rocket. They were approached by a gaggle of middle-aged ladies who recognised Tony. It was something that Peter had learnt often happened when they were out. When it was just a few people, Peter was ok. They fussed him too, which was fine, but then more people came over, encouraged by the others who had already braved the celebrity. Peter hugged his rocket tight. It was getting louder, with so many people talking over each other, crowding them. Tony was used to it all, and it didn’t bother him. Loki was used to it too, and although it annoyed him a little, he didn’t mind too much. 

But then it all got too much, and Peter started crying. Hard. 

“Alright, that’s enough. Give us some space” Loki said firmly, kneeling down in front of the buggy. “You’re upsetting the baby”

They all had enough decency to move away and go back to their groups, pretty thrilled with their autographs and selfies. Peter wouldn’t calm down, so Loki had to get him out of the buggy and give him a cuddle. He glanced at Tony.

“I can see what you mean now” he said. 

“Yeah, he really doesn’t like it” Tony said, rubbing the back of his neck. “But then again, ever since the accident, normal Peter hasn’t been too big on crowds either”

“Mm” Loki sighed, rubbing Peter’s back. “Shh, calm down, darling”

“Do you want me to take him?” Tony offered.

Loki nodded, passing the boy over to Tony. 

“Hey, little sweetheart” he said, cuddling the boy close. “Hey, it’s ok! No more crying. You’re ok”

Peter nuzzled into Tony’s shirt and soon stopped crying. Tony kissed him gently on the forehead.

“Good boy. Let’s look at some art now, ok?”

Peter nodded. “Can I have my rocket?”

“Sure thing” Tony said, grabbing it from the buggy and passing it over. “Loll, are you ok with the buggy?”

Loki nodded, taking hold of it. Peter looked happy now on his father’s hip, rocket under his arm. That was all that mattered. At least, that’s what he told himself.

-

Peter wasn’t interested in most of the art. He nearly fell asleep while they were looking at boring paintings of old-fashioned people and country scenes. He liked the modern art and sculptures more, but even they were only enough to hold his attention for half a moment. It felt like they’d been in there for years. Peter was tired, and fed up. He dozed against Tony’s shoulder, too sleepy to even attempt to keep his eyes open.

-

Peter woke up again a while later, and Tony put him down and let him loose in the gallery gift shop. 

“Do you think I’m an idiot?”

Tony looked up from the postcard rack. “Generally, or..?”

“Tony, do I look like I’m joking?”

“Sorry” Tony sighed. “No, I don’t think you’re an idiot. Why?”

Loki looked at Peter. Tony looked too. He was stood looking at a shelf of toys with his hands behind his back, looking far too serious for a tiny child.

“What are you thinking, Loll?”

“Big Peter always loves coming here. I thought it was a good idea…”

“Big Peter… He’s not little Peter. Little Peter was bored. He’s just a little kid. I don’t think there’s many toddlers who are into proper art” Tony said. “He liked all the old toys in the museum though. Especially that dolls house”

“Remember a couple of months after we adopted him, and you got low?”

Tony looked at him properly. “What’s that got to do with anything?”

“What did they say it was?”

“You know what they said” Tony snapped, turning away from him. 

Loki paused. “…I think that might be what this is”

Tony turned back to him. “Well now I  _do_ think you’re an idiot. You’re just overreacting”

“Overreacting, is that it? Is that what you think I’m doing? I’ll show you ‘overreacting’-” 

Loki grabbed him by the collar, only to release him promptly when it made someone else in the shop jump. He kept his hand on him.

“Say that again” he said lowly. “Say it. And see what happens”

“Daddy, daddy!” Peter appeared at their feet. “I know what to get that lady who sent me the box!”

“Oh good, well done, kiddo” Tony smiled down at the boy. “Do you want to show me?”

“Yes, I’ll show you!” Peter grinned, grabbing Tony’s hand.

Tony glanced at Loki, who scowled at him and grabbed the buggy.

“I’ll see you at the car”

-

Loki went into a very obvious sulk. Tony ignored him, turning the radio up in the car to drown out his own thoughts. As expected, Loki took a step back when they got back to the house. Tony tried not to care. He made him a mug of tea and something to eat, and sent him to his reading nook. He didn’t want Peter getting on Loki’s bad side. 

Tony fed Peter, and then they sat down together and got out some white paper and a big pack of crayons. Tony found he didn’t really know what to draw. He watched Peter for a while, who seemed to be brimming over with ideas. 

“What are you drawing, kiddo?”

“It’s a secret”

“Oh, right, I gotcha” Tony chuckled. “What should I draw, chick?”

“One of those big whooshy things you get at ride parks”

“You mean a rollercoaster?”

“I _think_ so”

Tony nodded. “Right, ok. I’ll do that”

So he did. At first he was just messing about, doodling, but then he started thinking about it properly. Rollercoasters were all pretty samey. He was sure he could design a good one, so he set to work doing that. His doodles quickly became blueprints. It was quite fun, actually. Maybe it would be a good project for him.

-

_Loki’s ears pricked up at the sound of the door opening. He rested a hand on Peter’s head for a moment before going out to the landing._

_“How are you doing?”_

_Tony shrugged slightly, walking past him. Loki followed. Tony sat down on the sofa, resting his elbow on the arm on the chair, and his head on his hand. Loki perched on the arm of the chair._

_“What did the doctor say?”_

_“It’s not what I though it was” Tony said, his voice nearly expressionless._

_“So it’s not depression?”_

_“No, it is: it’s just a different kind”_

_“What do you mean?”_

_“…No one ever gave us the reading… Have you ever heard of post-adoption depression?”_

_Loki paused, and then shook his head. “I can’t say I have”_

_“They said it’s similar to post-natal depression. Now, I know that’s something you know about”_

_“Oh Tony” Loki put his arms round him. “It’s alright. We’ll get through this. We always do, don’t we?”_

_“I just feel like such an idiot, Lolly” Tony said, his voice breaking. “It shouldn’t be this way. For fucks sake, this was supposed to be a good thing! We signed those papers, we had that holiday. We were happy, Loki”_

_“I know” Loki said gently. “It_ is _a good thing. We all wanted it. It was the right thing to do. We know that… Darling, these things happen. You just need a bit of help, and you’ll be back on your feet in no time. We’ll do it together”_

_“If we hadn’t’ve adopted him, this wouldn’t’ve happened. It doesn’t make sense. We’ve had him with us for so long. Why did it decide to rear its head now??”_

_“We both struggled, especially at first. Hence my sabbatical. Things don’t always make sense; you should know that by now”_

_“I hate it”_

_“I know”_

_“I don’t know why I’m doing this anymore”_

_The door creaked, and Peter came into the room, biting his thumb._

_“Hi dad”_

_Tony smiled at him as best he could. “Hey, sweetheart. Come here”_

_Peter didn’t need to be asked twice. He bounded over to the sofa and let Tony pull him onto his lap. Tony hugged him tight, nuzzling and kissing him on the cheek. He rested their heads together and reached up a hand, resting it on the boys face. He took a deep breath, and held the boy tighter. He didn’t want to let him go._

_Loki rested a hand on Tony’s head._

_“This is why you’re doing this” he said._

_Tony looked at him. He nodded, and kissed Peter again._

_“I love you, chick”_

_“I love you too, dad”_

_Loki put his arms round both of them._

_“My funny little family… We’ll be ok” he said. He rested his forehead against Tony’s temple, speaking into his ear. “We’ll get you through this. Those feelings aren’t forever. But these ones, with him? They can be forever”_

_Loki rested his hand over Tony’s on Peter’s cheek. Tony didn’t want to let the boy go, but he leant into Loki, taking another deep breath._

_“Thank you” he said, and he meant it._

_Everything was so difficult, but that made moments like this all the more important. He knew what was wrong with him now. He knew what the next step had to be. And he knew that he wasn’t alone. He had Loki, his dear husband, and he had his darling little boy - who was now his more than ever before. He could get through this; for his sake, and for the sake of his family. He had a good thing going here. He wasn’t going to let this new strain of depression get the better of him._

_-_

Loki fell asleep for a bit, but he was just as angry when he woke up. More angry, in fact. He’d had time to think. 

Tony was absolutely unbelievable. After the way he’d been the first week after Peter’s accident with Kindsprengen’s gun, he had no right to judge the way anyone else was feeling, especially him. Who was it who had had to step up and look after a toddler, clueless and scared and without the support of his husband? Who was it who had felt so alone he may as well have been a single parent? Who was it who was decent enough not to take out all his anger and confusion on a helpless toddler who was none-the-wiser to the situation? Was it Anthony Edward Stark? Like hell it was. It was Loki Stark, someone just as fragile and scared, but obviously much stronger. Even if he did say so himself.

So how  _dare_ Tony say he was an idiot, and that he was overreacting when he said he thought there was something wrong? Maybe this  _was_ a form of post-natal depression. Tony didn’t know that it wasn’t. It was something, anyway. One of those feelings you couldn’t control. Loki loved Peter, and he loved Tony. But right now? Well, he missed big Peter. He wanted big Peter to suddenly walk through the door and run over to him, gushing madly about his latest patrol. As for Tony… Well, he was a cock. That was Loki’s resounding thought. Loki had been nothing but supportive all the way through Tony’s post-adoption depression (any many of his other downfalls), so why couldn’t Tony do the same for him?

Loki took a very deep breath, closing his eyes and listening to the song playing on the stereo.

 _It’s a bit like being angry_  
_It’s a bit like being scared,_  
_Confused and all mixed up_  
_And mad as hell,_  
_It’s like when you’ve been crying_  
_And you’re empty, and you’re full,_  
_I don’t know what it is;_  
_It’s hard to tell_

 _It’s like that there’s some music_  
_Playing in your ear,_  
_But the music_  
_Is impossible_  
_Impossible to hear_

Loki opened his eyes. He needed to go out. He didn’t know where. He just knew he needed to go.

-

Something told Loki he needed to see Tony and Peter before he went. He pulled on his biking leathers and boots and then went through to the living room. 

“Are you going out?” Tony asked, looking him up and down. 

Loki crouched down, stroking Peter’s hair gently. He couldn’t bring himself to say anything. He kissed the toddler on the cheek. He took Tony’s hand and kissed that too. And then he stood up and walked out.

-

Loki hesitated when he got down to the garage. He saw Peter’s helmet hanging on the hook beside his own, the one he’d bought so that he could pick him up from school on the motorbike. He touched it gently, his heart thudding, his eyes watering. He cleared his throat, grabbing his own helmet and pulling it on. He took his bike outside, and spent a minute looking at it. Something was getting to him. Something in the back of his mind was shouting at him, but he couldn’t understand what it was saying. It had to be whatever this horrible depressing feeling was. Nothing more. He looked at the motorbike. He mounted, shoving the keys in the ignition, and he was off.

-

There was something about being on the motorbike that just felt unreal. It was like being in a different realm of existence, hearing nothing but the rush of the wind and the whirr of the engine. Tonight was no exception; but it was slightly different. The road seemed to stretch on forever. It seemed empty. Quiet. But loud at the same time, as though it was shouting to him. He needed to ignore it. He just wanted to ride, to stop thinking, to forget everything that was happening, just for a bit.

So he kept going, zoning out, focusing only on the streetlights and signs, and on what he was feeling. He didn’t notice anything else. He didn’t notice the sound of another engine. He didn’t notice them swerving, or their drunken shouting. 

But then there was a blur of black. 

He felt everything else.

He felt the impact. He heard it. He felt his bike tip, he felt the collision throwing him. He felt the gravel and the asphalt. He heard the shouting, the screeching of brakes, the crushing metal. He felt his head hitting the road. He felt the curb he collided with, which stopped him going any further. He felt his bike shake the ground as it landed beside him. He felt the strange, numb, almost-pain. He felt the wet of blood or rain; he wasn’t sure which. And he felt his eyes close.

*


	15. How I Hate To See You Like This

-

Loki’s eyes opened. Everything looked and sounded blurry and fuzzy. He looked at the person above him.

“…Hi…”

“Hi. My name’s Darren; I’m a first aider. I’m just keeping your head still in case you’ve hurt your spine. The ambulance is on it’s way. Do you remember what happened?”

Loki blinked a bit, confused. He didn’t say anything.

“Have you got any pain anywhere?”

“…I’m not sure”

“Ok. Just try not to move”

“…How’s my helmet?”

“Well, it took most of the impact” Darren said, glancing at it where it lay, cast aside. “I think you’ll need a new one. But at least it wasn’t your head that cracked”

Loki laughed slightly. “Well, there is that…”

They were interrupted by sirens, and although he couldn’t see it, Loki heard one of the ambulances park close by. He heard the doors open and close, and he heard the voices.

“Paramedics! How are we doing over here?” one said.

“He’s woken up” Darren said. “I was a bit more concerned with holding c-spine to do a proper primary survey”

“Ok, don’t- Loki?!”

Loki looked up at the paramedics.

“It’s good to see you again, Simon”

“Not under these circumstances” Simon said, kneeling down beside him. “Are you gonna be a pain, or are you gonna let me and Liv take a look at you?”

“Oh please, feel free”

“You’re remarkably talkative for someone who’s just been in an RTC” Darren noted.

Loki looked at him for a moment. “The car…”

“We’ll riddle that bit out later” Liv said. “Si, do you want to sort a survey?”

“My bike…”

“Uhhh” Simon looked at the motorbike, wincing. “Maybe think about yourself for a bit, mate”

Loki went quiet for a little bit, thinking about his body, trying to work out where he was bleeding. He was definitely bleeding; there was no two ways about that. He just hadn’t worked out his injuries properly yet. Nothing felt real. He kept trying to focus on the road underneath him, but it still felt more like sand.

Darren was happy to continue with c-spine, so the paramedics were able to work on other aspects of the emergency.

“Alright mate, time for the horrible bit” Si said. “I’m gonna check you over, starting at your head. Make sure you tell me if anything hurts: don’t play martyr”

“Mm…”

“Have you got anything in your pockets?”

“Phone, wallet… keys are on the bike”

“We’ll grab them. Ok..”

As soon as Si put his hands on him, Loki realised this may be a lot more serious that he first thought. His head hurt. His forehead was definitely one source of bleeding; that was clear now. He saw his reflection in Si’s glasses.

“I don’t suppose you’ve got any slap in your bag, have you, Liv? Darren didn’t say how much of a mess they’d made of my face”

“Loki, shut up” Liv said, albeit gently. “Let Si check you over”

Si checked Loki’s neck, and as he reached the base of the back of it, Loki suddenly cried out and grabbed at his arm.

“Alright mate, alright” Si looked at Liv. “We’re definitely gonna need a collar”

“Noted”

Si touched Loki’s hand gently, subtly checking his fingers and wrist as he did so.

“You’re gonna tear my jacket right off my arm if you’re not careful” he said gently. “Let me check the rest of you”

Loki reluctantly let his arm fall back to his side. Everything seemed to get worse from there. It was as though everything hurt - but some places more than others. His chest was horribly painful. Broken ribs, he guessed. But that wasn’t the main worry: the pain in his back was. It was all he could do not to scream as Si prodded at him.

“Fuck! Oh bloody hell, that really hurts…  _Fuck_. Good god..” he put his hand over Darren’s on the side of his head, sucking his breath and trying to breathe evenly. “I’m overreacting, aren’t I? You’re allowed to tell me if I am”

“We’re gonna stick you on a board” Liv said. 

“We’re gonna have to cut your leathers off, you know that, right? Definitely the jacket” Si said.

“Don’t you bloody dare” Loki said, blinking hard in an attempt to stop the tears leaking from his eyes. “It’s vintage. Tony’ll go mad”

“I don’t think it’s the jacket he’s gonna be worried about” Si sighed. “Do you want us to call him?”

“No. I want to know what I’m dealing with before we get him involved”

Liv and Si exchanged a look.

“Well, if you’re sure. We won’t call him”

-

Collared and boarded and on the back of the ambulance, Liv asked again if he wanted them to call Tony. The answer was the same.

Darren had been excused so it was now down to three, and Loki was finding it increasingly difficult to keep his eyes open. His head hurt. His back and ribs really hurt. He was sick of the taste of blood in his mouth too.

“I’m just gonna stick a needle in your hand. Let’s get you some pain relief”

“No”

“Loki-”

“I said no”

Liv sighed silently. “Alright, but let me know if you change your mind. Si, are you driving?”

“Yep. I’ll ring ahead. Hit my window when you’re ready”

He closed up the back behind him and went round to the drivers side. Liv took Loki’s hand.

“How does it feel being on the other side of the table?”

Loki laughed slightly, but more tears welled in his eyes. He tried not to look at her.

“Are you tired? Or is it the light?”

Loki whined vaguely.

“Do you mind if I check your eyes again?”

Loki didn’t push her away when she did. He looked at her afterwards.

“How are they looking?”

“Pupils still equal and reactive, you’ll be glad to hear” she tapped him on the nose with the pen torch. “We’ll get you sorted. Obviously they don’t call you the god of mischief for nothing”

She stood up and banged Si’s window.

“Let’s get you in”

-

The pain of being in a moving vehicle was too much. Loki lasted about five minutes before he was forced to admit defeat.

“I’ve changed my mind” he gasped. 

Liv signalled to Si, and he found a place to stop.

“You’re a stubborn git, and it’s not always a good thing” Liv said, readying the needle. “I know you hate this, but please don’t take it out on me”

Loki was in so much pain that he didn’t think a needle in the back of his hand was going to have much of an impact. He was wrong, and he swore a little bit, but he didn’t take it out on Liv.

“Are you ok?”

“Yes, I’m ok”

“Good. 10mg morphine, going in” she smiled at him. “That’s what the needle’s good for”

-

Loki did enough interdepartmental work to know a lot of the A&E and radiology staff, and the friendly faces helped. He could hardly speak. He felt so sick and dizzy and sore and strange. He did his best to let everyone do their jobs, but it wasn’t easy. He fought to stay awake. Just for a little bit. Just until the results were back.

It felt like hours, but he needed to know what was wrong with him. He needed to know the outcomes, the damage, the recovery period. He needed to know it all before he told Tony. He didn’t want Tony hunched up on a waiting room chair waiting for scraps of news. He needed the full facts as soon as he arrived at the hospital. So Loki waited.

“Hello again” Dr Bernie said, coming to Loki’s side. “Sorry for the wait, but with you being so adamant, we had to wait for all the results. So we’ve got your x-rays, and your CT scan-”

“Is my back broken?”

“I’ll tell you if you stop interrupting” Dr Bernie raised an eyebrow, smiling slightly. “No. Your back and neck aren’t broken. Your ribs are, though… We’re going to get you off the collar and board, and we’re going to move you to a side room. We need to go through all your results somewhere a bit more private”

-

Loki grabbed the sleeve of the person closest to the bed. It was a nurse, but not one he knew. She looked at him. He pulled his oxygen mask off.

“Call my husband”

-

Tony was knelt on the living room rug, holding little Peter’s hands captive above his head and tickling his tummy mercilessly. Little Peter was shrieking and laughing and kicking, enjoying the attention. Tony’s phone started ringing.

“Hold on a minute, kiddo” Tony let go of Peter and grabbed his phone. “Hello?”

“Hello, is that Mr Stark?”

“Speaking. Who is this?” Tony asked, standing up, leaving the toddler in a giggly heap on the floor. 

“Hello Mr Stark. I’m ringing from A&E”

“Ah, is that where Loki got to, then? He didn’t say anything before he left the house”

“I’m afraid Loki’s been in a road traffic accident”

“Daddy?”

Tony put a hand up to stop Peter and walked out of the room, listening to the lady on the other end of the phone. An overwhelming feeling of nausea had welled in his throat. He could feel his pulse all over his body, so strong it felt like the whole room was pulsating. This couldn’t be happening. Not to Loki. Not now.

-

Tony put his phone back in his pocket and grabbed his keys, shoving his feet into the closest pair of shoes. He needed to get the the hospital as quickly as possible. It wasn’t until he was halfway down the steps to the garage that he remembered Peter. He couldn’t very well leave a toddler at home alone. He couldn’t delay going to the hospital either. He’d just have to come with him. Tony took a deep breath, trying to compose himself, and returned to the living room. Peter grinned up at him.

“Hi daddy!”

Tony knelt down in front of him, putting his hands on the little boys shoulders.

“Peter, darling, I need you to listen to me” Tony said, his voice shaking. “Daddy… Daddy’s had an accident. So we need to go down to the hospital and see him”

“Oh…”

“Now, Peter, sweetheart. Hospitals are… well, they’re where people go to get better. They can be quite scary, and it’s ok if you get scared. But they’re also places where you’ve gotta be really well behaved and quiet. I wouldn’t take you with me but we really need to get there fast, and I haven’t got time to get anyone to look after you. Do you understand?”

“I- um… Is daddy ok?”

“We’ll see. Sweetheart, go and get your shoes. Ok?”

Peter nodded, and ran off obediently when Tony let go of him. Tony looked down at his shaking hands. Part of him was saying he shouldn’t try to drive, not when he was feeling so mixed up and frightened. But he needed to be at Loki’s side as soon as possible. He had to get a move on.

-

Despite the fear hanging over his head, Tony still had a fleeting thought; grateful that toddler Peter didn’t remember all the times teenage Peter had spent in this department. He held the toddler tight, using him as a type of comfort blanket. Peter clung to him. He could sense the urgency of the situation, and he didn’t like the hospital: it was busy and loud, and he was scared.

“I wanna go home!” the toddler whimpered.

“I know, darling, I know” Tony said gently. “We need to find daddy first”

 He was quickly recognised by a member of staff.

“Mr Stark?”

Tony turned round. “Nurse Dunn…”

“We’ve got Loki in a side room. If you’d like to come with me”

Tony followed, but then stopped a few steps from the door. He felt so unbelievably sick. He swallowed hard, hoping he wouldn’t have to make a dash for the nearest men’s room.

“Mr Stark?”

Tony swallowed harder still, and looked at her. “Do you think… Could you take him? I don’t want him in there just yet”

“Yes, of course” Nurse Dunn said gently, taking Peter from him. “Hey little one. Shh, don’t cry. Let’s go and find you a biscuit or something, ok?”

Tony gave Peter a little kiss on the cheek. “Be good”

He took a deep breath, and pushed open the door to the side room.

-

Loki looked so pale. He was lying so still, oxygen mask over his face, hands folded over his stomach. Medical monitors always seems such angry things, but they were evidence that he was alive, at least. Tony glanced at the nurse, but then fixed his gaze on his husband. He approached the bed, and hesitantly rested a hand on Loki’s shoulder.

“Loki?” 

Loki’s eyes opened. He looked up at Tony, a slight smile tugging at his lips behind the mask.

“…Hello, my darling”

“You idiot… You idiot! I  _knew_ this would happen!” Tony burst out, stepping back from the bed, eyes brimming with tears. “You bloody idiot! I told you right at the start! That fucking bike! I  _told_ you how many people have accidents on those stupid things! I told you I wasn’t sure, but you insisted you knew best. I never wanted you to get the flippin’ thing in the first place!”

Loki stayed quiet. He let Tony shout, and once he’d paused for breath, reached out his hand. Tony looked at him, and promptly started sobbing. He stepped closer and took Loki’s hand in both of his, holding it to his mouth.

“I could’ve lost you” he cried, kissing his knuckles. “You could’ve been killed!”

Loki reached up and pulled his oxygen mask down. “I’m still here”

“You’re a stubborn idiot” Tony looked at him. “You’re such an idiot! How could you do this?!”

“It wasn’t my fault”

“You were on that bloody bike!” Tony snapped. “You were driving it; of course it was your fault! You and your bloody need for speed mentality have caught up to you, that’s what this is!”

He took a very deep breath, and hugged him, awkwardly as he didn’t want to move him off the bed. He kept one hand on his shoulder, slipping the other under the back of his head. He pressed his cheek against Loki’s, still feeling sick from emotion and fear, and hollow from crying so hard.

“I’m alive” Loki said. “Where’s Peter?”

Tony sat up, looking at him. “Where are you hurt? What’s wrong with you? I want to know everything. Every injury, every condition, every scratch. Tell me what’s wrong with you”

Loki looked up at him. “Ask someone else”

“Don’t you play with me!” Tony snapped. “Don’t you  _dare_!”

“Mr Stark, this isn’t the time” A voice sounded as a doctor came into the room.

Tony stood up and spun round. “What’s wrong with him?”

“Can I convince you to step out for a minute?” Dr Bernie said. “Maybe we could talk about it somewhere else, once you’ve taken a breather”

“No” Tony said. “I’m not leaving him. Just tell me the damage. I need to know”

“All things considered, he’s been very lucky” Dr Bernie said. “But he’s still going to need some recovery time”

“Just tell me” Tony said, knuckling his eyes and trying in vain to stop crying. “Just tell me. List it all, I don’t care. You don’t need to sugar-coat it”

“Ok” Dr Bernie looked at Loki for permission, and then reeled off: “Three broken ribs. Left ankle’s sprained. Multiple abrasions. Severe bruising to the left hip and thigh. Lots of minor to moderate bruising elsewhere. Multiple cuts. Moderate laceration to the forehead. Moderate whiplash. Ring finger on the right hand is broken. As I said; he’s been very lucky”

Tony stared for a minute, and then looked at Loki.

“See? It could have been far worse” Loki said, trying to be reassuring. He tried to lighten the mood. “I’m afraid I’ll need some new leathers though. And a new helmet. Oh, and the bike is totalled”

“You’re such an idiot” Tony said, knuckling his eyes. “Why can’t you just take anything seriously?! You could have died! What if it had been worse?! What if you hadn’t been wearing your leathers?! You fucking idiot!”

“Mr Stark, please”

“I’ve always told him that bike was a death trap! He-”

“It wasn’t my fault” Loki tried again.

“Of course it was!”

“Mr Stark, I don’t know what they told you on the phone” Dr Bernie said. “But Loki was hit by a drunk driver who ran a red light”

Tony was shocked to silence for a moment. He looked at Loki, his eyes filling with tears once more. He wasn’t sure if that was worse or not.

“Tony” Loki reached out, taking Tony’s hand. “It could have been worse”

“That’s the scary bit! They hit you… Where are they? They need to pay for what they’ve done to you!”

“Mr Stark, please” Dr Bernie said. “You can look into pressing charges later. Focus on your husband for now”

Tony looked at him. He closed his eyes for a moment, counting to ten. He opened his eyes, nodded, and carefully climbed onto the bed, lying down beside Loki. He put an arm round his chest and rested his forehead against Loki’s temple. The doctor tactfully left the room. Loki found Tony’s hand and held it.

“I’m not human” he said. “I won’t be laid up for weeks: I’ll be back to my usual self in a few days. A week at the most”

“I was so scared” Tony said. “When I got that phone call, I just… I felt so sick. I still feel sick”

“I’m sorry. I never meant for you to worry. That’s why I waited and didn’t let them call you until I was sorted”

“You should’ve called me down straight away”

“I’m sorry… I love you. I love you so much. The car just came out of nowhere. I didn’t even really comprehend… I think it ran a red light. They were drunk, that’s what everyone’s saying”

“…I’m sorry. I shouldn’t’ve shouted at you, or called you an idiot. I was just so scared. I just reacted without thinking”

“I know” Loki squeezed Tony’s hand as best he could with a broken finger. “It’s ok; I forgive you… Where’s Peter?”

“I gave him to Nurse Dunn. I didn’t know what I was gonna see coming in here. I needed to see you alone for a bit”

“I want to see him”

“Not yet. Let’s wait a bit”

“I want to see him” Loki repeated.

“We need to talk first. We need to compose ourselves. Especially me”

Loki closed his eyes. “Stop crying”

“I can’t help it. I was so scared-!” He held Loki tighter, kissing him hard on the cheek. “Why did you go out? Why did you have to go out?!”

“I just needed to go out. You were being so ignorant and insensitive. I was angry with you. I just needed a breather”

“What? No I wasn’t!”

“Yes you were! I was trying to tell you how I was feeling, and you said I was overreacting, and you said I was an idiot. I was nothing but supportive of you throughout your post-adoption depression, not to mention all your other bouts of mental illness, so the least you could do is hear me out, if not repay the favour”

Tony went quiet for a minute. “Did I really say that?”

“Yes, you really did. You sent me away when we got back too”

“Well yeah, to cool off. I made you something to eat, too”

“I know that” Loki almost snapped. “That doesn’t take away the fact you were insensitive and didn’t want to hear what I had to say”

“Don’t you think you’re jumping to conclusions a little bit? It could just be normal depression”

“It’s been triggered by this whole situation with Kindsprengen. I drew a logical conclusion” 

Tony sighed, propping himself up on his elbow. “I love you, Loki. But maybe we should wait and talk about this once you’re better”

“Surely talking about it now is the perfect time? If I’m going to be out of action for a few days, that gives us a lot of time to talk”

“Not with a toddler to look after as well”

“He’s in bed early, and he has an afternoon nap. Besides, he’s so distracted with playing all the time. It’s not that much of an obstacle” Loki said. “Unless you want it to be”

“Why do you always have to change the subject and pretend other things aren’t happening? Can’t you let me worry about the fact that you got hit by a car for a little bit before we launch onto the next thing?”

“This isn’t the next thing. I brought it up before the accident”

“You know what I mean”

“So do you”

Tony sat up properly, and slowly slipped off the bed. “Do you wanna sit up?”

Loki looked away, and nodded slightly. Tony helped him sit up, and took his good hand.

“Are they keeping you in?”

“They didn’t say. I would doubt it”

“Good. I’ve gotta say, that’s a relief. I don’t know if I could deal with…”

“Painful memories?”

Tony nodded. “Painful memories… I’ll admit that the idea of having to get reacquainted with Nurse Tyler did just cross my mind”

Loki squeezed his hand. “I didn’t think… I know how hard that was for you”

“I don’t want to talk about it”

“I know… You never do. You’ve never talked about it, not since I was discharged”

Tony looked down at their hands. He looked at the rings on Loki’s ring finger, and stroked them gently with his thumb.

“…I spent so many hours sat by your side holding your hand like this. We were still basically considered newly-weds. They’d taken your rings off but I insisted you’d want to wear them. They said no at first, but once you were more stable… Poor little Peter spent so much of his free time there. It was the school holidays, wasn’t it? He was just here so constantly. Even that first night. Poor kid must’ve been terrified. He spent way too much time curled up asleep in a hospital chair”

Loki held his hand tight. Tony took a deep breath. He opened his mouth to continue, but was interrupted by a knock on the door. 

“Oh” Tony couldn’t help but smile slightly as the door opened. “I forgot how fast news travels round here”

-

Just as the group of Loki’s colleagues cleared out, another person appeared. 

“You’re straggling” Tony said.

“Haha, yeah. Sorry about that” Jo Jo smiled awkwardly, approaching the bed. “What are you like, eh?”

Loki couldn’t help smiling at his fellow nurse. “It’s good to see you”

“Mind if I give you a hug?” Jo Jo said, doing so anyway. “Bloody drunk drivers! What’s the damage?”

“I’ll be back to my usual self in no more than a week” Loki said. 

“Any update on the car?”

“Passenger died. Driver is critical” Loki said. 

Jo Jo sucked his breath.

“Idiots, that’s what they are” Tony said. “No other word for it”

“Well, I think it doesn’t bare thinking about” Jo Jo said awkwardly. “How are you feeling, Lokes?”

“I’ve been better, but not too bad, considering the circumstances”

“Good. I’m glad you’re ok. We were all pretty worried”

Tony excused himself from the room. He knew Loki and Jo Jo were fairly close, and he wanted to give them a little space. Besides, he had something he needed to get.

-

Loki lit up when Tony came back into the room with little Peter balanced on his hip, and Jo Jo gasped.

“Is this baby Peter?! Aww, look at him! Can I hold him?”

Tony laughed. “What do you think, bambino? You wanna go over to Jo Jo for a bit?”

Peter held tight to his rocket, and nodded slightly. Tony passed him over to Jo Jo, who seemed delighted.

“Hey, little sweetheart!” he smiled, stroking the toddlers curls gently and tickling him under the chin. “Aren’t you a cutie?” he looked at Loki. “He’s lovely”

Loki smiled. “I know… Can I have him? I’ve been waiting rather a long time”

“Yeah yeah, of course” Jo Jo nodded. “Over to daddy now, ok?”

Peter was all too happy to be passed over. Loki held him close, almost desperately, kissing his cheek and stroking his hair firmly. 

“Hello, my darling” he said. “How are you doing?”

“Daddy said you had an accident”

Loki loosened his grip so Peter could sit back on his heels and look at him. 

“Yes, but I’m ok” 

“You’re hurt” Peter said, noting his dressings and the obvious cuts and bruises on show.

“Only a little bit. Have you been a good boy while you’ve been here?”

“That nurse gave me a biscuit and we played snap” Peter yawned.

“Lovely…” he looked at Tony. “He’s tired. You need to take him home”

“I’m not leaving you” Tony said firmly. 

“Well then you need someone to do it for you. It’s not fair to keep him here”

“Uhhh…” Tony looked at Jo Jo. “I don’t suppose you could..?”

Jo Jo put his hands up. “Sorry, I’m on shift”

“But you’re down here”

“I’m on my break” Jo Jo said. 

“Then why are you here instead of in the staff room downing an instant pasta pot?” Loki teased, knowing the nurses bad habit.

“I’ve been itching to get away for hours, ever since I heard that they’d brought you in. It’s just been really busy tonight” he looked back at Tony. “I’m sorry; I can’t”

“Take him home, Tony” Loki said.

“I’m not leaving you. I’ll have to ring round, see if anyone can take him”

Loki looked at Peter, stroking his hair gently. “Is Barton still in town?”

“I think so?” Tony said. “You want me to call him?”

Loki nodded. “Peter needs looking after”

Jo Jo’s pager beeped. He checked it, sighed, and silenced it. He gave Loki a quick hug and a kiss on his bruised cheek.

“I’ve gotta go.  You look after yourself” he straightened up, clearing his throat. “See you on the ward some time?”

“Definitely”

-

Clint shook his head at Tony in the hospital car park.

“Why is that whenever there’s a crisis, it’s always you three?”

“You’re not funny” Tony said. “Thanks for coming down”

“Hey, it’s no problem. I said I’d help out if you ever needed me” Clint said. 

“Yeah… We’ll put the car seat in your car. Might be easier that way..”

They sorted the car seat, and Clint leant against his car.

“Are you ok?”

Tony nodded. He shook his head, and shrugged. “I think I’m still in a bit of shock”

“How’s Loki?”

“…It could have been worse. I don’t think they’re gonna keep him in, but… I don’t know” he looked at Peter, and kissed him on the cheek. “Uncle Clint’s gonna take you home now”

Peter nodded slightly. Clint carefully took him from Tony.

“Hey, little guy”

“He needs a bath tonight” Tony said. “There’s plenty of stuff in the kitchen, so… If he gets difficult, like if he won’t do something, you can sometimes kid him into doing it by pretending it’s a superhero mission, and-”

“Tony, it’s fine. I’ve got this” Clint said. “He’ll be fine with me. Just keep me updated on Loki, and we’ll talk later”

“Ok… Ok. Oh god, it’s gotten late so quickly”

“Go back in” Clint said, strapping Peter into his car seat and closing the door. “He needs you the most right now. Don’t worry about the kid”

Tony looked at Clint. If it had been anyone else, he probably would have hugged them. Instead he nodded, thanked him, and turned on his heel. Clint was right: Loki needed him the most right now.

*


	16. You Know What To Do

-

Clint sat Peter on his knee after they’d had tea.

“Do you wanna talk?” he asked.

“What about?”

“Anything you want. How are you doing?”

“I’m ok” Peter said. “When’s daddy coming home?”

“I don’t know. Later. Probably not until after you’re in bed”

“Daddy’s hurt”

“Yeah, he is” Clint sighed. “He’ll be ok though. He’s a fighter, your dad”

“He is?”

“Yeah. He’s tough” Clint said. “Give him a few days and he’ll be right as rain”

“Oh” Peter looked down at his rocket. “…What do we do now?”

Clint stood up, holding the boy close. “We’re gonna give you a bath”

“I don’t want a bath!”

“You’ve gotta do what you’re told, little man” Clint said. “Your dad said to give you a bath. Bath time and bed time, I think that’s the game plan”

Peter pouted, but he didn’t protest any further. 

-

Peter enjoyed his bath. Clint wasn’t exactly surprised by Peter’s expensive organic child toiletries - it was very Stark - but he still raised his eyebrows a little. He was a bit rougher than Peter was used to, but he got the boy washed quickly, and then let him have his bath toys. He was happy to play with him, making all the character toys speak in funny squeaky voices, and squirting water and splashing bubbles at him. He found a few wind up bath toys and set them loose in the water. Peter giggled appreciatively, clapping his little hands together. 

“Let’s see what else you’ve got in this box of toys” Clint said, rifling through. “Ah! What have we got here?”

Peter put his hands up on the side of the bath, peering over the edge with interest. He saw the water wheel Clint was holding. It had a big funnel just above the big wheel, and it had suction cups on the back.

“Oh! It’s the thing!”

“Sure is! Aw, my kids have loads of these in their old water trough play-set thing. I don’t think we’ve ever had ones that stick to the side of the bath, though” Clint said, pressing the toy onto the side of the bath. “Ok cool. Now, if we get a cup - Here, you take that, and fill it with water”

Peter filled the cup and tipped the water into the funnel. He watched the wheel spinning round, and he grinned.

“That’s it! Clever boy! You know what to do, don’t you? Mind if I have a go?”

“It’s mine!” Peter clasped the cup protectively to his chest.

Clint laughed at him. “Ok, it’s yours”

Peter looked at him, and then refilled the cup and set the water wheel spinning again. He seemed quite mesmerised by it, and he spent a long time pouring cupful after cupful of water, keeping the wheel in motion.

Eventually, Clint took the cup from him. Peter looked shocked for a moment, and then scowled at him.

“You’re not intimidating” Clint said. “Time to get out of the bath”

“I wanna play”

“You’ve been playing for a long time. It’s already way past your bed time"

“Do I have to go to bed?”

“Yeah, but we gotta get you dry and into your pj’s first”

“I want daddy to put me to bed”

Clint scooped Peter out of the bath. The toddler squawked indignantly, and he shouted at Clint as he was wrapped in his towel.

“Not fair! I want to play!”

“Tough” Clint said. “Let’s find you some pj’s, kiddo. Then we’ll get you some milk and put you to bed”

“I want  _daddy_ to put me to bed!”

“Daddy’s still at the hospital” Clint said. “So I’m afraid you’re stuck with me”

-

Clint got Peter dried and into his pyjamas. He spurned the kids books and instead told Peter a toned-down version of a mission he and Nat had been on as a bedtime story, and then he tucked him into bed.

“It’s really late, kid” he said. “You need to close your eyes and go straight to sleep, alright?”

“I want my daddies”

“They’ll be back later. If you go to sleep like a good little boy, you’ll see them as soon as you wake up in the morning”

Peter didn’t look convinced, or happy, but he cuddled down with his rocket anyway. Clint sighed, and stroked the boys cheek gently.

“Don’t look so sad, kiddo. Everything’s gonna be alright. Your daddies will be back before you know it”

-

Clint couldn’t help wondering. He hadn’t actually gone into the hospital, so he hadn’t seen Loki. Tony hadn’t exactly given him much information either. He checked the news on his phone, and found a little bit more information. It seemed the press already knew it was Loki, and he’d been knocked off his motorbike by a drunk driver. Three people had been injured in the accident, with one fatality - the drivers passenger. Clint sucked his breath. It didn’t sound good. Still, Loki was a god, so surely he couldn’t be defeated by a car… could he? Clint shook his head. He’d be fine. Tony would’ve been in a far worse state if it was anything too serious. They’d just be keeping him in for observation for a few hours. He’d be home in no time.

-

Clint looked up from the washing up. He turned round, sighing and drying his hands.

“What are you doing out of bed, little man?”

“I can’t sleep. I want daddy”

“I only put you to bed twenty minutes ago. You need to try a bit harder” he threw the tea towel aside and went and took Peter’s hand. “Let’s get you back to bed”

-

Clint tucked Peter back into bed and kissed him on the nose.

“There. Now you need to stay in bed and go to sleep, understand?”

“I want daddy”

“He’s not back yet. Go to sleep”

Peter looked up at him, bottom lip quivering.

“Don’t start that” Clint said. “Go to sleep. Daddy’ll be back later. You want to be able to tell him you’ve been a good boy, don’t you?”

Peter nodded slightly.

“So stay in bed, and go to sleep. I don’t want to hear another peep out of you. Ok?”

Peter hugged his rocket close, and turned onto his side. Clint tucked the covers round him again, and ruffled his hair.

“Good boy”

-

Clint finished doing the kitchen and fixed himself a drink. He went into the living room and flopped in the big cuddle armchair. Wow, it was even more comfortable than he’d expected. No wonder Loki always hogged it. Clint turned the telly on. There wasn’t really much on, but his mind was elsewhere anyway. He left on something he’d seen countless times before, and sat back, thinking. 

-

He must have dropped off for a while, as he jumped awake with quite a start. He looked around, remembering where he was, and he rubbed his eyes. He heard a little sound, and quickly looked round. 

“Peter! I’ve put you to bed twice already” he said - and then stopped. “Peter?”

Peter stayed in the doorway, sobbing and clutching his rocket.

“Hey” Clint said gently, going over and kneeling down in front of him. “What’s the matter, sweetheart?”

“I’m scared! Daddy was crying and other daddy was hurt and lots of people were shouting and, and, and daddy, he, he got hurt! I’m scared! I want my daddy! I want my daddies!” Peter howled.

“Oh darling. Hey, come here” Clint held the boy close, rocking him gently. “I know, darling. It must have been so scary at the hospital for someone so small. Even grown-ups get scared there. Shh”

“I want daddy to come home!”

“He will, darling, he will” Clint said. “He’s just still getting looked after. All those doctors and nurses need to make him better, and then he’ll come home. Both your daddies will, don’t you worry”

“Promise?”

“Promise” Clint said, rubbing his back firmly. “Shh, you’re ok. You don’t need to cry any more”

“I’m scared!”

“I know, darling. I know”

Clint sat down on the arm of the sofa and rocked Peter gently for a long time. Eventually the boy settled down and stopped crying quite to wretchedly.

“I don’t think you’re gonna be able to sleep, are you?”

Peter sniffled, nuzzling against Clint’s chest.

“Ok, why don’t we put something on for you?” Clint said, kneeling down by the telly and rifling through the DVDs on the floor. “Are these ones you watch?”

Peter craned round to look, and nodded.

“Right… How about this one?”

“Ok…”

Clint loaded the DVD into the player, and as he read the box, he realised this was one of Loki’s ‘weird old English kids programme’ DVDs. Ah well, if it helped little Peter relax, that was fine. 

-

The DVD had the desired effect. Clint settled on the big cuddle armchair with Peter wrapped in a blanket on his lap. He went quiet quickly, distracted by the telly. It wasn’t long before he stopped sniffling entirely, and happily curled up with his rocket, much calmer. Clint tried not to look at the clock, and gently stroked Peter’s hair, hoping Tony would text him an update at some point soon. Peter needed his parents back.

-

Eventually Peter did drop off, but Clint didn’t have the heart to move him. He didn’t want the poor thing to come running back to him in tears if he woke up frightened. He picked up his phone, and texted Tony.

_Give us a clue?_

It was a few minutes before he got a reply.

_Sorry, my phone died. It’s been a bit hectic here with police statements and stuff. We’re just waiting for a doctor to clear him, and then we’ll be heading back_

Clint merely texted a thumbs up in response. He put his phone down and looked at Peter. The boy was cuddled up peacefully enough and he didn’t want to risk disturbing him, so he didn’t ask him any questions. Hopefully Loki’s reputation within the hospital would mean that he got rushed through and cleared quickly. It was past midnight already. He hoped they wouldn’t be too much longer.

-

Clint very nearly fell asleep again, and the sound of the door going made him jump. It made Peter jump too.

“Shh, you’re ok” Clint soothed. “Stay here with me a minute”

They waited, and Tony and Loki soon came into the room. They both looked exhausted, and Loki was holding onto Tony’s arm for support, obviously feeling the effects of his accident.

“DADDIES!” Peter shouted, and promptly burst into tears.

“Oh sweetheart” Tony said sadly. “What are you still doing up?”

“He’s upset” Clint said, standing up and rocking Peter gently. “I put him to bed, but he got up again about twenty minutes later. I put him back, and then he got up again. He was so upset. It took him so long to calm down; I didn’t want to put him back to bed when he was so unsettled”

“Daddies!” Peter sobbed. “My daddies!”

“Here…” Loki let go of Tony’s arm and carefully took Peter from Clint, hugging him close. “Shh. Daddy’s here, it’s ok. Daddy’s here”

Peter dropped his rocket and clung to Loki. Tony wound his arms round the both of them, kissing Peter on the head. 

“You’re ok, bambino. Shh”

“Daddy was hurt!”

“I’m ok, darling” Loki said. “I’ll be back to normal in a few days”

“Daddy…” 

“How are you doing, Loki?” Clint asked.

“It could have been worse” Loki said. “As I said; I’ll be fine in a few days”

“Good. You look pretty cut up…” 

Loki looked down at Peter. “Has he been ok?”

“Yeah, I mean, he was upset. But he had his tea and his bath with no trouble. He’s a good little kid” 

“Thanks for taking him” Tony said. “It means a lot, honestly. It’s been a really tough evening”

“Yeah, I can imagine. Listen, Loki… I’m glad you’re ok” 

“Thank you” Loki carefully passed Peter over to Tony. “I’m really tired. I think I’m going to go straight to bed”

“Ok, darling. I’ll join you soon” Tony said.

Loki nodded. He thanked Clint again, and gave Peter a kiss on the cheek.

“Goodnight, darling”

“Daddy…”

Loki gave Tony a kiss, and excused himself. Tony adjusted his hold on Peter.

“You’re welcome to stay the night if you want to” Tony said. “You know we’ve got plenty of space”

“You know what, I think I’ll take you up on that offer” Clint said. “What with it being so late”

“Take whatever room you want. Hey, can you… Do you think you can shut everything down for me? I’ve done the doors and some of the lights, but if you could finish up so I can get Peter settled and join Loki, I’d really appreciate that”

“Yeah yeah, sure thing” Clint said. “I’ll let you get on. Night”

“Night”

“Night, Peter”

“Goodnight, uncle Clint”

-

Peter wouldn’t let himself be put back to bed. He sobbed and shouted and clung to Tony with all of his strength. 

“You’re being silly now” Tony said. “You need to go to sleep. We’ve gotta get up in the morning”

“No! No!”

“Darling, please. Let go”

“No!” Peter howled. “Daddy please! Daddy! I don’t wanna go to bed!”

Tony sighed. “Do you wanna come and sleep in daddy’s bed?”

Peter started calming down, gulping back his sobs. 

“You like that idea?”

Peter nodded.

“Ok, you can come and join me and daddy, just this once” Tony said. “Shh, breathe now, darling”

Tony straightened up, holding Peter close and rubbing his back firmly. 

“I need you to breathe, Peter” he said. “Calm down now”

Tony found Peter’s rocket and gave it to him. Peter loosened his grip on Tony so he could take his rocket. He hugged it tight, rubbing his nose against the soft fabric. He started to settle down, and soon went almost completely quiet. 

“There now” Tony said, wiping the boys face gently with his sleeve. “Let’s go and join daddy”

Tony turned the lights off in Peter’s room and took him to Loki’s. Loki had just sat down, having had no choice but to go slow and take his time getting ready for bed. He looked a little worried when he was joined.

“Peter?”

“He’s going to sleep in here tonight, if that’s ok?”

“Yes, of course…” Loki said. “Is he still upset?”

“A little bit. You’re ready for sleep now, aren’t you, chick?”

Peter nodded. “Daddy…”

Tony sat down on the bed and Loki carefully took Peter from him and gave him a cuddle.

“Were you a good boy for uncle Clint?”

Peter nodded. He rubbed his eyes, leaning into Loki. He stayed there while Tony got ready for bed, and then Tony picked him up. 

“Let’s plonk you down over here for a moment” he said, putting the boy down on the floor. “Let’s get you settled, Lolly”

“I don’t need you fussing, my darling” Loki said.

Even so, Loki let Tony help him. Tony helped Loki into his black silky dressing gown and propped him up against a lot of pillows to make it more comfortable with his broken ribs. He got him to take a dose of painkillers, and tucked his pig under his arm on one side, and a cushion the other side. He tucked the quilt up round his midriff and gave him a soft kiss.

“Ok?”

Loki nodded. “Thank you” 

Tony kissed him again, and picked Peter up. “Bedtime, chick”

He went round to the other side of the bed and climbed in, tucking Peter in between himself and Loki. He propped himself up on more pillows than usual and moved closer so he could lay an arm over Loki’s tummy. Peter cuddled down with his rocket, much calmer now, and very nearly asleep. 

“Goodnight, darlings” Tony said. “Are we keeping the night light on?”

“That’s probably a good idea” Loki said. “I’m still feeling quite on edge, and Peter might benefit from it”

“Yeah, that’s what I thought” Tony said, and carefully reached over to turn the lamp off. “Goodnight, my darlings. Sleep well”

They settled down with just the soft blue glow of the night light illuminating the room. Loki closed his eyes. The room felt like it was spinning as soon as he did so, but not in the way that made him feel dizzy. He still felt weird and shaken after the days events. Their museum trip felt like weeks ago. Even the crash felt like days ago. Leaving A&E felt weird, and getting home felt even weirder. But it was good to be home, surrounded by all of his things, comfortable in familiar surroundings, knowing everything was ok. He’d feared the worst after he’d noticed the pain in his back and neck. But things were ok. He’d be back to normal by the end of the week. He was relieved that Tony was ok, and that Peter had been well looked after while they were at the hospital. He felt contended now, despite it all, because he had his lovely little family asleep beside him.

-

It was almost midday when Loki woke up. He wasn’t surprised to find himself alone in his bed, but he was a little disappointed. He tried to sit up, and was suddenly stabbed with a horrible pain in his chest. After that, all other pains flared up too, and he cried out despite himself. There was a knock at his bedroom door.

“Tony?”

“It’s Clint. Mind if I come in?”

“No”

Clint opened the door. “You ok? Heard you shout”

“I’m in pain” Loki said, sucking his breath. 

Clint walked over to him, grabbing the box of painkillers from the bedside table. 

“Might be an idea to take some of those” he said, handing them over. 

Loki took the box, and Clint poured him a glass of water.

“Thank you” 

Loki took a couple of pills, and then set the glass and box down on the bedside table.

“I didn’t expect you to still be here”

“Yeah, well, you were back so late, and I needed the lie in. Plus, Tony asked me to stay in case you needed anything. Keep an eye on you, like” 

“Where is he?”

“He’s taken Peter to the doctors”

“What?!” Loki sat up properly, wincing but ultimately ignoring the pain is caused him. “What’s the matter?!”

“Hey, calm down. Peter’s fine” Clint said. “Tony said he’s booked in for booster jabs today”

“Oh right. Of course. I’d forgotten” Loki sat back. “Yesterday took it out of me. I didn’t remember…”

“It’s fine; you’re in shock. Right? How are you feeling today?”

Loki sighed. “I don’t know” 

“Do you wanna get up and get something to eat?”

Loki thought for a moment, and then nodded.

“Need some help?”

Loki nodded again. Clint helped him up, and Loki put an arm round his shoulders, and Clint put an arm round Loki’s waist, supporting him. Loki looked at him, and oddly, he didn’t feel embarrassed about it. Maybe Clint was becoming a little bit more than just an acquaintance. 

-

Loki and Clint were settled quite comfortably by the time Tony and Peter got back. Peter wriggled out of Tony’s arms and ran over to Loki for a cuddle.

“Hello, little darling” Loki said, lifting the boy onto his lap. He looked at Tony. “Everything ok?”

“I felt awful” Tony said. “Four jabs he had; one in each limb. Absolutely howled, and you should’ve seen the look he gave the doctor. It made me want to cry too”

“Poor little boy” Loki said, kissing Peter on the nose.

“Ouch” Clint said. “Did he at least get a pack of sweets afterwards?”

Tony laughed slightly. “Yeah, he got some gummy bears, bless him” he sat down next to Loki. “How are you doing, darling? You’re not in pain, are you?”

“I’ve taken some painkillers” Loki said. “I’m tired, but I’m doing ok. Barton’s been keeping me entertained”

“Good. Good…” Tony looked at Clint. “You’ve been great, but you can go now if you want”

“Why, am I in the way?”

“No! No, I didn’t mean that” Tony said hurriedly. “I just- well, we’ve taken up a lot of your time. If you’ve got somewhere you need to be…”

“I’m kidding with you” Clint said. “I’ve not really got anywhere to be, but I think I’ll leave you three to it. I’ve got some housework I could be getting on with, and I don’t think I’m really needed here anymore”

“Well, if you’re sure. I don’t want you to feel like I’m kicking you out”

“Nah, it’s fine. I’m gonna head off” Clint stood up, nodding at Loki. “See you again some time, right?”

Loki nodded. Clint took Peter from him, giving him a quick hug before setting him back on Loki’s lap.

“See you later, little man” 

“Bye, uncle Clint”

Tony insisted on walking Clint to the door to the garage steps. 

“I really do appreciate your help. I know you and Loki don’t really get on”

“We’re getting on better right now, actually” Clint said. “We had a bit of a laugh today. Anyway, I said I’d help out if I was needed. When I’m in town, call me any time. I don’t mind looking after the kid”

“Thanks. I-I’ll let you get off. I don’t really want to leave Loki for too long. Call me paranoid, but-”

“Hey, I get it. Go and look after him. I’ll see you around”

“Yeah, see you around. Thanks again”

“Any time” Clint opened the door to the garage steps. “Loki’s ok, you know. Just get through the week, and he’ll be back to his usual self”

“Yeah, you’re right” Tony nodded. “I’ve just got to get through the week”

*


	17. Dizzy

-

Loki didn’t like the idea of lying in bed doing nothing, especially with Tony working from home so he could look after Peter. So instead of taking full advantage of his sick bed, Loki dragged himself up and flopped in the living room. That way, he was around his family, and could help out - not that Tony let him do very much. 

It was a long, fairly dull week, but the end of it brought Loki very close to full recovery. It was times like this that he was glad he wasn’t human: he couldn’t imagine having to go through the long recoveries they had to go through. 

-

Tony grabbed Peter under the arms from behind, and held him up to Loki. Loki quirked an eyebrow at him.

“What?”

“Three weeks” Tony said. “Exactly three weeks”

“Put me down!” Peter protested, wriggling.

“Yes, put him down, darling” Loki said. “He was busy”

Tony put Peter down, and the boy returned to his game of shop. He’d spent much of the morning setting it up, and trying to sell his Noah’s Ark animals to his toy monkey, with little success. Loki shook his head fondly at him. 

“I think he’s been a bit bored this week” he said.

“We took him to the park four times” Tony said. “He loves those ducks”

“Yes, but I think it would be nice to do something different with him”

“Ok” Tony said, sitting down beside him. “Like what?”

“I’m not sure. Something… He’s always liked swimming”

“Normal Peter likes swimming” Tony corrected.

“That doesn’t mean little Peter doesn’t. I know he’s too small for the pool here, but… Maybe we should look into it”

“Ok, but you’re missing one important detail here”

“And what would that be?”

“You hate swimming”

“He’s a toddler” Loki said. “So he’ll still be in the shallow end and the baby pool. I can cope with that” 

“…Where were you thinking?”

“Well” Loki said. “There’s an outdoor paddling pool in one of the other parks not too far from here. Or there’s the big leisure pool. They’re bound to have a baby pool” 

“Peter?”

Peter looked up from his game.

“Do you wanna go swimming some time?”

“I wanna play shop”

“I’m not stopping you. I’m just asking if you wanna go swimming”

Peter shrugged and went back to playing. Tony looked at Loki and shrugged. 

“He’d enjoy it” Loki said. “We should take him. Maybe tomorrow?”

“Sure. But we’d need to go out and get him a swim costume, and probably some arm bands too. He’s not gonna know how to swim, is he?”

“I doubt it” Loki said. “We’ll be able to find those easily enough”

“We could go now, if you wanted? Quick trip round the shops. We could have lunch while we’re out?” Tony suggested.

“I don’t have much of an appetite right now” Loki said. 

“Ok. So, is that a no to the shopping?”

“I’m not sure I feel up to battling the high street on a Saturday. You could go though, if you wanted to”

“I think I will. I’ll take the kid. Do we need anything else while I’m out?”

“I don’t know. I’ll have a think and text you if I think of anything. I think we’re rather well stocked at the moment”

“Good to hear. I might still take the kid for something to eat though, depending how we go”

“That’s fine” Loki said. 

Tony nodded. “Peter? Go and get your shoes, chick. We’re going out”

“But I wanna play!” Peter pouted.

“We’re going out” Tony said firmly. “Go and get your shoes on, now”

“I don’t want to!”

“Do as you’re told, or there’ll be trouble. You can bring your rocket with you if you’re a good boy”

Peter threw down the scanner from his plastic till, heaved himself to his feet, and stalked off. 

“Ooh, someone’s not happy” Tony chuckled. 

“He doesn’t half get cross sometimes” Loki said. “Where abouts are you going to go?”

“I’m not gonna bother with the car. Walk’ll do us good. That boys got enough pent up energy to stroll down to the nearby high street. There’s that sports shop there, so I’ll get his swim stuff from there”

“Ok, but don’t get him anything ugly”

Tony laughed. “I’ll get him the most tasteful toddler trunks they have, promise”

Peter came back into the room and sat down heavily, pulling his shoes on. Tony slapped his knees and stood up.

“Right. Grab your rocket, kiddo, and let’s get going”

Peter scowled at him, but grabbed his rocket anyway.

“Stop with the face. If you’re good, we’ll get ice cream too, ok?”

Peter didn’t look happy, but he nodded. He liked ice cream.

-

Peter held Tony’s hand until they reached the main shopping street, and then pulled away.

“Hey, don’t you go running off now” Tony said. “It’s busy, so you need to stay close. Ok?”

Peter nodded, hugging his rocket to his chest and humming to himself. There was a lot to see here, and a lot of people around. He trotted along at Tony’s side, not really paying much attention to him. He swerved round him, going to walk at his other side, closer to the road. There seemed to be even more going on over the road; stalls and more interesting shops. 

“Teddy bear!” he said, pointing.

“I’m not taking you to Build-A-Bear” Tony said. “Come on, keep walking”

Peter did, until Tony looked away. He liked the look of this Build-A-Bear shop. He wasn’t sure what it was, but there were teddies involved, so that was good enough for him. He wanted a closer look. 

“Hey, Peter?” Tony looked down, only to find the little boy wasn’t there. “Peter?!”

There was a sudden loud beeping and the screeching of car tyres, and he spun round quickly. There was more beeping, more screeching - and a scream.

“PETER!!!”

-

Tony started crying as Peter was put into his arms.

“Peter! Peter, oh my god! Oh sweetheart, sweetheart, sweetheart..!” 

He held Peter like he would never let go, kissing him hard on the cheek, trembling like mad, still trying to comprehend what had happened. He pressed his head against Peter’s, clutching him close, sobbing, while at the same time desperately trying to stop. Peter was shaking, crying, but he was safe. By some miracle, he’d been snatched up out of the road with hardly a second to spare. He was safe, but scared, and upset.

“My rocket!” Peter cried. “My rocket!”

“Damn your rocket!” Tony kissed Peter hard, and then adjusted his hold and looked at him properly. “Don’t you  _ever_ run away from me again, do you hear me?! You don’t ever run away like that, do you understand?!”

Peter looked at him, and then started crying harder, holding a hand out desperately.

“Five years off your life, that’s what they say” 

Tony looked up at the man who spoke. “I- I don’t know what to say-”

“I think you need to sit down” the man handed Peter his rocket, which he’d picked up off the ground, and then put an arm round Tony’s shoulders and lead him to a nearby bench. “There we go”

Tony sat down heavily, clinging to Peter and trying to focus on breathing, still crying from the fear and shock of it all. The man kept his arm round Tony’s shoulders.

“You’re ok, don’t worry. I’ve got you. He’s ok too” he said gently. “Shaken, but he’s ok”

“Yeah…” Tony held Peter tighter. “You saved him. He could’ve been hit, he could’ve-”

“Don’t think about all that. He didn’t get hurt. Focus on that. He’s fine”

Tony looked at the man. “I don’t know how to thank you. You saved his life. You just- you ran in and grabbed him and-”

“Anyone would’ve done the same thing” he said. “I’ve been in the same kinda situation before. Kids’ll do that to you. You just gotta breathe"

Tony loosened his grip on Peter. “Shh, darling. I’ve got you”

Peter wiped his eyes on his rocket, sniffling. Tony shouting had scared him, and his chest hurt a bit from being grabbed so roughly when he was pulled out of the road.

“You naughty little thing. I told you to stay close” he said, taking a deep shaky breath. “You could’ve been hurt”

Peter whimpered and buried his face in Tony’s chest. Tony closed his eyes, trying to calm down. He felt sick, and he was still shaking quite violently. He was grateful of the hero strangers arm round his shoulders.

“My heart’s pounding… I thought- I don’t really know what I thought. It was just… fear”

“I know. I get it” the man squeezed his shoulder, and then took his arm from round his shoulders. “Is he just like other kids?”

Tony looked at him. “…What?”

“I saw the news. I know he’s a toddler because of Kindsprengen”

“Ah. Uh… Yeah, he’s just like any other toddler. Physically, anyway. He’s still… he’s my son” Tony sighed. “You saved him. There’s gotta be something I can do to repay you”

“Hey, think nothing of it. Anyone would have done the same. I’m sure if the roles were reversed, you would’ve done the same for my kid” he said. “I’ve always said it’s important to rely on the kindness of strangers”

Tony nodded, wiping his eyes on his sleeve. “…Thank you”

The man’s phone beeped, and he checked it. “I’m late for a meeting. I’m going to have to head off”

“Yeah, yeah, of course” Tony stood up at the same time as the man. “What’s your name? I’ll look you up some time”

“Henry. Henry Albert. You take care, alright?” he stroked Peter’s cheek gently. “Don’t go running into any more roads, kiddo”

Peter nodded, half-hiding behind his rocket. Henry smiled, and shook Tony’s hand.

“We had baby reins for my three” he said. “Maybe look into that”

-

Tony took a few more minutes to compose himself. He gave Peter a little telling off, but then hugged him close and kept him in his arms as he continued down the street, trying to act like he was ok. He still felt nauseous and shaky, but not so much. Peter seemed fine too. He was quiet, but he seemed comforted by his rocket and being in Tony’s arms. Tony kissed him on the cheek, thinking about what the man had said. He saw a woman strolling along with two toddlers in a double buggy, and he stopped her.

“Hey, ‘scuse me, sorry” he said, voice still a little shaky. “Can I ask you something?”

The woman smiled at him. “Sure, if I can get a selfie”

Tony swallowed, and smiled at her. “Sure”

They did the photo, and the lady was happy with that.

“What can I do for you, Tony?”

“Do you know if there’s a kids shop somewhere round here? I need to get something for this one”

“He’s so cute, you know” the lady smiled. “If you go down this street, and turn right just before that Starbucks, and then take a left, there’s a big one down there. It’s independent, but it’s good”

“That’s great, thank you” 

“No problem. It was good to meet you”

“Nice to meet you too”

-

Peter started squeaking, insisting that he wanted to walk.

“No, you’re not walking. You can’t be trusted not to run off” Tony said firmly. “You can walk if and when we’ve got you some reins”

Peter whined, but he stopped wriggling. 

They soon reached the shop the woman had directed Tony to. Despite having a toddler in his arms, Tony still felt a bit out of place walking through the door. It was a big shop, and it wasn’t very busy at all. 

“Excuse me?” A sales assistant came up to him. “You’re Tony Stark, aren’t you?”

“Yeah, I am. Hi” 

“I can’t believe it’s you!” she giggled. “I’ve never met a celebrity before”

Tony couldn’t help smiling. “Well, you’ve met one now! What’s your name?”

“Julie” she smiled. “So this little one must be Peter. Hello there, little darling! Aren’t you a cutie?”

Peter smiled sweetly at her, giggling when she tickled him under the chin, and talking to her when she complimented his rocket. She pinched his cheek gently and straightened up.

“Is there anything I can help you with today?”

“Yeah, actually. Uh, we’ve had a bit of a close call today, haven’t we, chick?” he said, glancing at Peter. “I’m looking to get some, uh, baby reins?”

“I see. We have a good collection. Did you know what type you wanted?”

“Uh, not really. I just need something to stop him running off really. I didn’t know there were different types”

“There’s a few. If you’d like to follow me” Julie said, leading the way. “Backpack reins are very popular right now. They’re basically little backpacks which double up as a harness with reins. They work basically the same, and they can be good for children who don’t like traditional harnesses”

“Oh yeah, now I think about it, I think I’ve seen these before” Tony said, looking at the big shelf of them they’d stopped in front of. “Oh yeah, I’ve definitely seen these. Loki said they were stupid”

Julie giggled. “They’re not for everyone. If you didn’t want to go for the backpacks, traditional harness reins will probably be your go-to. As you can see, we have quite a selection”

“Yeah, there’s way more than a thought” Tony said. “These padded ones, are they better than the ones that are like, just the straps?”

“It’s largely down to personal preference. The padded harness ones are designed to be more comfortable, and I’ve had parents tell me they’re good for toddlers who pull a lot”

“That makes them sound like dogs”

Julie smiled. “That’s exactly what I thought. Still, I understand where they’re coming from”

“Yeah, me too” 

“Can I walk now?” Peter asked.

“I need you to stay with me, little boy” Tony said, looking at all the basic harnesses. He knew Loki probably wouldn’t like him getting anything garish or novelty. “How do these work, anyway? I’m a bit clueless on all this baby and little kid stuff”

“That’s understandable, given the circumstances. If you’ve seen anything you like the look of, I can help show you how they go on and how to adjust them”

“Yeah, thanks… Loki’s a bit of a one; he hates all the novelty kids-style-graphic-designs stuff, thinks they’re tacky. So I’ll probably just go for a basic one. Like, that black one”

“This one?” Julie said, taking one off the rack.

“Daddy, I wanna walk!”

“Shh, Peter. Yeah, that one’s fine” 

“Ok, so these are quite simple”

She explained everything to him, and then suggested they try it on Peter. Peter was happy to be put down, and immediately made a run for it. Tony grabbed his arm.

“Hey, get back here! We’ve talked about this, naughty” Tony knelt down, keeping him still. “We’re gonna try this harness on you, chick”

“Why?”

“Don’t ask questions; just be good” 

Julie knelt down too. “We’re just going to make sure it fits nicely. Are you going to put your rocket down for a minute?”

Peter wrinkled his nose and held his rocket tighter. 

“Just put it down for a few minutes, chick” Tony said, taking it from him and setting it aside.

“Hey!”

“Don’t ‘hey’ me, kiddo” Tony said, tapping him on the nose. 

“It’s ok sweetie; it’ll only take a couple of minutes to try this on” Julie said. 

Peter folded his arms over his chest, pouting. Tony had a bit of a challenge getting him to loosen up and let them slip the harness onto him.

“There, that wasn’t so bad after all, was it, darling?” Julie said. “Ok, so if you want to do the clips up at the front, and then we’ll adjust the straps”

“I feel a bit thick now” Tony said after a couple of minutes. “It’s actually pretty easy. Or, it would be, if this little kid would keep still”

“You are a wiggly little thing, aren’t you?” Julie smiled at Peter. “Reins are pretty simple, but they’re very effective for keeping little ones safe”

“Yeah, I don’t want to have any repeats of what happened today” Tony said. “Peter, stop wriggling!”

“I don’t like it!” Peter whined, pulling at the harness. 

“Well that’s just tough” Tony said. “I’m only going to let you walk if you’ve got the reins on. Ok?”

“No”

Tony and Julie laughed. 

“He’s such a sweetheart” Julie said. 

“He’s too stubborn for his own good. Just like his daddy” Tony smiled. “You’re just like your daddy, aren’t you?”

Peter just looked at him, wrinkling his nose. Tony ruffled his hair. 

“I think you’re nicely kitted out with that one”

“Don’t like it” Peter said, reaching behind him and grabbing the reins. “What’s this?”

“That’s the bit I hold so you can’t go running off”

Peter pouted, and Tony laughed. He gave Peter his rocket back, stood up, and lifted the boy into his arms. Julie stood up too.

“I think we’ll stick with these ones” Tony said. 

“It’s a good choice” Julie smiled. “Is there anything else I can help you with today?”

“Uhh, no, no, just these is fine. Should I take them off him?”

“No, it’s ok. The bar code is on here” she said, holding up the cardboard packaging the harness and reins had been on. 

“Oh good. Well, better get these paid for then” he said. “Maybe afterwards we’ll actually get to do what we left the house for”

Julie giggled. “One of those days, is it? Well, if you’d like to come over to the tills with me. Just this way. Let’s get you checked out”

-

Tony liked Julie, and was happy to have a little talk with her and take pictures with her, as well as give her an autograph, and a big tip for her help. After that, they were on their way.

“Let’s go to the sports shop now” Tony said. “Maybe grab a drink on the way. I’m bloody exhausted already”

“Can I walk?”

“Yeah, you can walk” Tony said, holding onto Peter’s reins and setting him down on his feet on the pavement. 

Peter went to run, but was quickly halted by the reins. He pulled against it, and then let his legs go limp and flopped to the ground. Tony laughed.

“What are you doing, chick?”

“I don’t like it”

“Hey, I said you could walk if you wore your little harness and reins. Up you get” 

Peter just whined. Tony grabbed hold of him and tried to put him back on his feet.

“No, don’t make your legs go floppy! Support yourself, kiddo”

“I don’t wanna”

“Peter, do as you’re told. I need you to be a good boy” Tony said. “Or I’ll tell daddy, and then you’ll be in trouble”

Peter looked up at him, and then relented and stood firm on his feet. Tony nodded. 

“Good boy”

Peter walked along quietly for a few minutes. Once they were back on the main street, he whimpered and reached a hand up to Tony.

“Aww, you want to hold hands?” Tony smiled, hooking the reins over his wrist and taking the boys hand. “You’re so sweet”

“Where are we going?”

“We’re going to the sports shop, remember?”

“Why?”

“So we can get you some swim stuff”

“Oh” Peter said. “Ice cream?”

“I said you could have ice cream if you were good”

“Yes”

“Do you think you’ve been good?”

“Umm…” Peter looked up at him. “Yes”

“Really? Because I think you were very bad, running off into the road and putting yourself in danger like you did”

Peter opened his mouth, and then closed it again. He looked down, and then up again.

“Ice cream?”

Tony sighed. “We’ll see”

-

Loki met Tony and Peter at the top of the stairs when they got home.

“You’ve been gone ages” he said. “I was starting to worry”

“Sorry, darling” Tony said tiredly. 

“Is everything ok?”

“I’ll tell you in a minute. I’m gonna put Peter down for a nap”

“I don’t need a nap!” Peter shouted, starting to cry.

“Yes you do. Keep your voice down” 

Tony picked Peter up and pushed past Loki. 

“Oh… Uh, ok. I’ll talk to you in a minute then” Loki said.

He frowned. He hoped everything was ok.

-

Tony joined Loki in the kitchen after he’d put Peter down in the back room. 

“You should be resting”

“I’m fine, darling” Loki said, sitting down at the breakfast bar and motioning for Tony to join him. 

“I need a lie down”

“Ok” Loki said. “We could go to my room, if you like”

Tony nodded. “Yeah…”

They went through to Loki’s room, and Tony flopped down on his bed.

“I like your bed”

“So do I” Loki said, lying on his side beside him.

Tony turned onto his side, facing him but keeping his eyes cast down. Loki took his hand. They were both quiet for a few minutes.

“…I still feel a bit sick. And shaken. Like I can’t properly calm down” 

Loki squeezed his hand. 

“I should’ve been holding his hand. I shouldn’t’ve taken my eye off him… I saw him run out. Those cars were so close to him. They were going so fast. If that man hadn’t’ve been there…” a tear fell from Tony’s eye. “I just froze. I think I might have screamed at some point; I don’t know… I just… It all happened so fast, and then so slow”

He held Loki’s hand tight, closing his eyes for a moment.

“That man saved his life. I couldn’t’ve move at first, and then I did, and this man had just grabbed him. Literally just, yanked him out of the road, and… He put him in my arms, and I just cried. I don’t know how I managed to calm down”

“Was the man still with you?”

Tony nodded. “For a bit… I calmed down when I was with him, mostly”

“When did this happen? Was it on your way back?”

Tony shook his head. “On our way there”

“Oh Tony” Loki sighed. “You should’ve come straight back”

“I said I’d go get the swim stuff” Tony said, swallowing hard. “I got him some reins too”

“Ok” Loki said gently. “Well, that’s good. Those reins will help keep him safe. But you still went to the shops after having a shock like that? How did you manage?”

“…I don’t know. I just did the brave face thing, I think… I think he’s feeling a bit weird”

“Did he cry?”

“He seemed most concerned with his rocket. He calmed before I did, but he went a bit clingy for a while. After that he just went quiet. And then he went whiny. It was weird; he was quiet, but when he wasn’t, he was whiny. He whined in the kids shop… He started crying just before we got to the sports shop. I had to pick him up and he wouldn’t let me put him down until after we’d finished in there. He seemed upset after that… I had to come back. He got even more upset when I said we were going home. I’d said he could get ice cream if he was good”

“We’ve got some in the freezer. Let him have that when he wakes up”

“Yeah… He walked all the way back. He stopped crying but he went so quiet. He seemed tired. His little legs were shaking when we got to the door. Do you think… do you think I should call Bruce?”

“He’s bound to be a little surprised after having a close call like that” Loki said carefully. “Let him have his nap, and I’ll have a look at him and talk to him when he wakes up”

Tony swallowed hard, and nodded. “I’ve told FRIDAY to watch over him and let us know when he wakes up”

“Ok. We’ll look after him later” Loki said. “Let’s look after you now”

Tony didn’t say anything.

“What do you need, my love?”

Tony turned onto his back. “Can you… Can you lie on top of me?”

“If you’d like me to” 

Loki shifted closer, pressing up against his side, resting his head on his shoulder and putting an arm round his chest, rubbing his other shoulder with his thumb. 

“I’m here, darling. You know I’m here for you”

Tony pulled Loki on top of him properly, so that they were chest-to-chest, and wrapped his arms round him.

“I still would have taken Peter in, no matter what” he said. “But without you here… I’m a much better parent with you than I ever would have been alone. I don’t know what I’d do without you”

“You don’t have to think about that. I don’t think about what I’d do if I didn’t have you” Loki said. “Because I  _have_ got you. By some miracle. I’ve got you, and you’ve got me, and Peter has got both of us. No matter what happens, that’s always going to be the case”

“I miss teenage Peter”

“I know, darling. I do too” Loki said. “We’ve got little Peter now, though. Just for a bit”

“We’ll get through this, won’t we?”

“Of course we will. Look at everything we’ve been through as a trio, right from that first summer when he came to stay. We’ve been through so much together, good and bad, and we’ve always got through everything. You know that”

“I love him so much. I hate being scared, especially when it’s because of him. I hate making mistakes, especially where he’s concerned” Tony held Loki tighter. “I love him more than anything else in the world”

“I know. I do too”

“I was so scared today”

“He’s always been very good at scaring us”

Tony smiled slightly. “Yeah, he has… I know we haven’t been perfect, but we’re doing ok, aren’t we? With the toddler?”

“He’s clean, he’s clothed, he’s fed and watered, he’s warm, he’s sheltered, he’s loved… He’s got loads of toys. He’s happy, Tony. When you look at that little boy, you can tell he’s happy. He… he’s got a good life. This whole thing, him being turned into a toddler, it might only be temporary, but it’s still a life. He’s enjoying the one we’re giving him. Especially given the circumstances, I’d say we’re doing wonderfully”

Tony squeezed Loki tight, pressing his cheek against Loki’s head. 

“…We made it, didn’t we? We got what we wanted”

“Very almost” Loki said. “We’ve just got to have our IVF baby, and we’ll be set”

“Three person babies… Boy or girl, what do you think?”

“I think it’ll be a girl” Loki said. “But I think the odds will think it’ll be a boy”

“We’ll get right on it and get tested as soon as that reversal gun has been sorted” Tony said. “What do you think normal Peter’s gonna be like?”

“What do you mean?”

“As a brother” Tony said. “Do you think he’ll be good?”

“He was very excited when we talked about it with him. I think he’ll want to help as much as possible. I can imagine him insisting on doing feeds and reading the baby little stories and giving them cuddles… I think he’s on board with the idea of expanding our family”

“…We need to think about names”

“What did we say, darling? We decided to wait until conception before we started brainstorming the name possibilities”

Tony swallowed. “We’ll be ok with a baby, won’t we?”

“Of course. Why wouldn’t we be?”

“I’m just nervous, I guess. We could always say this stuff with Kindsprengen is giving us a bit of a trial run?”

Loki laughed slightly. “It’s a bit different. But I see where you’re coming from”

“Isn’t it funny to think about it? Next time we’re quiet, we’ll get it sorted, and then we’ll go in for the main bit, and then nine months later, there’ll be another little creature for us to look after. And it’ll be both of ours” he gave Loki a gentle push, moving him off him. “They said we were perfect candidates. They’ve always kept it open for us, despite all the setbacks. Maybe it’s fate. Maybe it’s meant to be?”

“Maybe” Loki propped himself up on his elbow, looking at Tony. “You said no about having a baby for so long. I’m always worried that all the setbacks are going to put you off again”

“They’re not” Tony said. “I want a baby now. I know I didn’t for the first few years of our relationship, but I’ve wanted one for so long now. I want one enough to wait for it. We want to give that little baby the best possible start. Which, right now, means waiting until our little boy is turned back into a teenager. Could be next week, for all we know. We’ll get there”

Loki nodded. “I know we will”

“There’ll be four of us. Four Stark’s”

“Maybe more. You know the probability of multiple pregnancies increases with any type of IVF”

Tony sat up, so Loki did too. Tony looked at him. 

“Being a parent is terrifying. Peter’s been very good at teaching us that. But despite that… I want this baby. I really do. I even have dream about it sometimes”

“I do too” Loki said. “My life doesn’t feel empty… But having a baby would be such a fulfilling blessing. We’re so lucky to be given that chance”

Tony looked away. He stayed quiet for a minute, and then turned back.

“Let’s focus on Peter for now. We’ve spent hours talking about the IVF baby. Let’s… Let’s focus on toddler Peter”

“Yes, let’s” Loki said. “We’re going swimming tomorrow”

Tony smiled. “Yeah, we are”

“I had a little look at the main pool online while you were out. He’ll enjoy it”

“I got him some trunks, just plain black ones. Got him some armbands too. They didn’t have plain black ones, so he’s got orange ones. He didn’t like the character ones” 

“Well, just as long as they do the trick” Loki said. 

“Are you sure you’re up for it? You’re still pretty bruised”

“I’m fine, Tony. I told you I’d be fine in a few days, and I am. Mostly” 

“Well, if you’re sure” Tony put an arm round his shoulders. “Love you”

“Love you too… I was thinking we could go and see Thor after we’ve been swimming. I know he’s going to be in, and Peter would like to see him”

“Yeah, ok. If you like” Tony said. “Do you know if there’s been any progress with the reversal?”

“None that I’ve been made aware of. We could always ask tomorrow, but if I’m honest, it just makes it feel like clock-watching”

“Yeah, I get that” Tony rested his head against Loki’s. 

“I’ve got something else I need to talk to you about”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah… We need to work out what we’re doing with Peter on Thursday”

“Thursday? Why, what’s Thursday?”

“It’s the seventh”

Tony stopped for a moment. “Ah”

“Mm”

“He doesn’t remember her, does he?”

Loki shook his head. Tony held him tighter.

“Can we talk about this later?”

Loki nodded. “…I still miss her”

“I know” Tony sighed. “I do too”

*


	18. It Was Fun Swimming

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Today we broke the record for hottest ever day in the UK, reaching 39°C in some parts of the country. It was 38 where I am at one point, but around 35 most of the day. I do not cope well in heat at all so today was a real struggle, and you have no idea how much I wanted to be in a cold swimming pool all day today. This is basically a disclaimer because I know this chapter isn't great but it was the best I could do in an overheating hell state tbh :p

-

Peter pulled on Tony’s sleeve, whining to be picked up. Tony sighed and did so, and Peter buried his head in his chest. Tony quirked an eyebrow at Loki.

“Is he ok?”

“I think he’s just feeling a bit nervous about being somewhere different” Loki said. “He’ll be ok”

“I guess little Peter’s not used to swimming pool sounds” Tony said as they walked through to the changing rooms. “It’s not gonna be too busy today, right?”

“I shouldn’t think so; not with it being a Sunday” Loki said. “The weather is quite good today, so if people  _are_ swimming, I’d imagine they’d favour the outdoor pools. Besides, the entrance lobby was virtually empty”

“Maybe they all just beat us to it” Tony said. “How do you wanna do this?”

“Well, he seems to have fully attached himself to you” Loki said. “So if you’d like to- ah. Wait, there’s family cubicles here”

“Oh right. That solves that issue”

-

They got Peter undressed and into his swim trunks in a matter of moments, and then plonked him down in the little hard plastic playpen in the cubicle. Peter squawked at them and tried to climb out.

“Stop fussing, Peter” Loki said, handing him his rocket. “Be good while daddy and I get changed”

Peter huffed and sat down heavily, grumbling to his rocket. Loki and Tony got changed, and Loki went to shove their things in a locker. Tony hoicked Peter out of the playpen and went after him. 

“Can I ask you something really thick?”

“Hm, nothing’s ever stopped you before” Loki said. “What is it?”

“Do you inflate the armbands before or after putting them on the kid?”

“Well, on my sabbatical, we always did it before”

“Right. Hey Peter, wanna go to daddy for a minute?”

Peter shook his head. 

“Aw come on, just for a minute?”

“No” Peter prodded Tony’s old arc reactor scar. “Will I get one of these when I’m big?”

“I certainly hope not” Tony said, quickly passing the toddler over to Loki.

Loki took the boy, but he noticed Tony’s face, and the way he was touching his scar.

“Darling?”

“Hm?” Tony looked up, and shook his head slightly. “I’m fine. Right, let’s get these arm bands sorted”

Blowing up the armbands proved to be more of a challenge than expected. Loki raised his eyebrows at Tony, amused.

“Are you alright?”

“I’m out of breath!” Tony said. “How do asthmatic parents do this?!”

“Next time we’ve got someone on the ward fitting the description, I’ll ask them”

Tony eventually got both arm bands blown up.

“That was horrible” he said. “Alright kiddo, come here”

Peter wasn’t happy about having his arms forced into his little orange armbands, and he made sure his parents knew.

“Oh, put a sock in it, young man!” Tony said. “There, done. Stop squeaking”

Peter stopped squeaking, and stuck his tongue out at Tony instead.

“Cheeky!”

Peter did it again. 

“Peter, don’t be rude” Loki said. “Let’s put your rocket in the locker now, ok?”

Peter looked at his rocket. He looked at the locker. He looked at Loki, and then at Tony.

“Do I have to?”

“Sure do, kiddo” Tony said. “It’s a rocket; not a submarine. Can’t take a rocket into a swimming pool”

Peter looked back at his rocket, and burst into tears. Tony and Loki exchanged a look, and Loki got down on his knee in front of the boy.

“Hey, sweetheart” he said gently. “What’s the matter?”

“I don’t wanna leave my rocket!” Peter cried. “I want him to swim too!”

“But rockets don’t swim, darling. Rockets fly. You know that, don’t you?”

“I want my rocket!”

“I know. But your rocket doesn’t want to go nose-diving into the seven seas now, does he? I think your rocket would-”

“Rocket wants to come with me!”

“Don’t interrupt, chick. I think your rocket would much prefer to stay on dry land, up here in the locker, looking after everything for us. He’ll wait for us, and then you can tell him all about your swim afterwards” Loki said, carefully taking the rocket from Peter and standing up. “We’ll put him right at the top here, ok? He’ll be happy and comfortable there”

Peter still sniffled as he watched Loki lock the locker and secure the key round his wrist. He looked at Tony for help, holding his arms up to him. Tony took his hand.

“Swim-time, chicken”

“I want a cuddle!” Peter said, and started crying all over again. 

Tony sighed and picked him up. “You’re a fussy little thing today, aren’t you? What’s up?”

“Maybe he’s just having one of those days” Loki said. “Or maybe he’s nervous”

“Because of yesterday?” Tony looked down at Peter. “We’re gonna go and have a swim. It’ll be fun”

-

Peter wasn’t sure about the baby pool. He liked the big plastic palm trees, and he liked all the pictures of penguins and fish on the walls, but he wasn’t entirely sure about the pool itself. He clung tight to Tony.

“You’re hurting me with your little pincer hands, tiny boy” Tony said.

“Just put him down, darling” Loki said, climbing into the baby pool. “Ooh bloody hell, that was warmer than I expected”

Tony laughed at him. He set Peter down and sat down on the side of the pool. Peter looked at him worriedly.

“Let’s have a swim, chick” Tony said. 

Peter took a step back. 

“Come on, sweetheart” Loki said. “Come to daddy”

Peter shook his head, and started crying once again. 

“Oh sweetheart! Hey, what are you crying for now?” Tony said, putting an arm round the boy. 

Peter didn’t say anything; just kept crying. Loki pulled himself up onto the edge of the pool.

“What’s the matter, darling?” he asked. “Don’t you want to play in the water?”

“I’m scared!” Peter cried. “I’m scared!”

“Why are you scared, darling? What’s scaring you?”

“I’ll  _drown_!” 

Loki tried very hard not to show his amusement.

“Oh darling, you won’t drown!”

“Yes I will!”

“No you won’t. Look, none of these other people have drowned, have they? I didn’t drown while I was in there either” Loki said.

“You’re perfectly safe” Tony said. “You’ve got your little arm bands, and they’ll keep you floating”

“I don’t believe you!”

Tony sighed, slipping into the pool. He held his arms out to Peter.

“Come on, bambino”

Peter tried to run away, and Loki grabbed him. He held him close, and slipped back into the pool. Peter shrieked and clung to him.

“NO! NO!”

Loki stood firm, and put Peter in the water. Peter screamed a moment longer, kicking his legs and hitting out with his hands - and then realised he wasn’t sinking. He went quiet, and opened his eyes. He looked at his armbands. He cautiously patted the water a few times, and then hit it harder, making a little splash. He giggled. Loki and Tony looked at each, breathing out a sigh of relief.

“There you are! Look at you, bobbing away like a little duck” Tony smiled. 

Peter looked at him, and grinned. Loki ruffled his hair gently. 

“See, it’s not so bad, is it?” Loki said. 

“I’m not sinking!” Peter said. “It’s warm!”

“It’s nice, isn’t it?” Tony said. “Lovely and warm. Perfect for you to have a little splash about”

“There’s other people”

“Yeah, they’re all having a swim too” Tony said. “Aww, some of them are really tiny!”

“Babies…”

“Yeah, babies” Tony said. He looked at Loki. “I’m starting to think maybe we should’ve brought a beach ball or something”

“He’ll be ok without” Loki said. 

As if tempted by fate, another little kids beach ball flew across the pool and hit Peter in the face. 

“Oh, bloody hell!” Peter scowled as it bounced off his nose.

Loki and Tony spluttered and laughed despite themselves.

“That’s your fault” Tony laughed. “He’s copying you!”

“Throw it back, Peter” Loki said, giggling.

Peter picked up the ball and threw it. The other kid and their mother smiled at them. Peter smiled back, and giggled.

“I think you’ve made a friend”

-

They played with some of the other little ones for a long time. They were the only dads in the baby pool, and that, along with their status, meant that they were pretty popular with all of the mothers. It was nice having a bit of friendly company, and Peter finally had the opportunity to play with other toddlers. It was nice to see him interacting with them.

Still, after a while, Tony realised that Loki looked like he was starting to overheat, and he gave him a nudge.

“Wanna go to the shallow end of the other pool for a bit? Give the kid a change of scene?”

Loki was happy to agree to that, so they bid farewell to everyone, got out of the pool, took Peter’s hands, and wandered over to the main pool. It was much bigger, extending far back, where Peter could see a big water slide. 

“Oh!” he said, pointing. “Look!”

“Yeah, it’s a big slide!” Tony said. “Much too big for a little tyke like you”

Peter pouted. He looked around. They were near the shallow end. One one side, there was a big statue of a seal, water spraying from its mouth like a jet. At the other side, there was a little plastic whale, which Peter quickly realised was a slide.

“Oh!”

Tony grinned at him. “Wanna paddle?”

Peter nodded. “Uh-huh” 

Peter kept hold is his dads hands as they padded down the little slope into the shallow water. He squealed and giggled.

“It’s not warmer!”

“Yeah, baby pools have to be warmer. This is still a bit warm, though” Tony said. 

Peter waded in up to his knees and stood there, kicking his little feet one at a time under the water. Tony sat down, and Loki did too. Loki breathed out, closing his eyes for a moment.

“Oh… This is much better” Loki said.

Tony gave his hand a squeeze. “Are you feeling ok? You’re not dizzy or anything, are you?”

“No, no, I’m ok” Loki said. “This is so much better. We moved at the right time”

“Yeah, I noticed you were starting to get pretty hot over there”

“Thank you”

Peter sat down between them on the slope and lay down on his back. Tony grinned down at him.

“What are you doing down there?”

Peter just giggled. Tony bent and kissed him on the nose. 

“You tired out?”

“Nope!” Peter sat up and pointed over at the whale slide. “Slide!”

Tony sucked his breath. “That’s no slide - it’s a whale!”

“It’s a slide too!” Peter said.

“No, it’s definitely a whale”

Peter looked at him, open-mouthed. And then he scowled and stood up, turning to them both with his hands on his hips.

“It’s a slide!”

“No, it’s a whale” Tony said.

“Slide!”

“Whale!”

“SLIDE!” Peter shouted, and he grabbed Tony’s hand. “I’ll  _show_ you!”

“Fine, fine, but I’m telling you now; it’s only a whale”

Tony stood up and let Peter pull him over to the whale. Loki followed. Peter marched them over, let go of Tony’s hand, looked at the whale slide, and stuck his tongue out.

“Nyeeehhh! It  _is_ a slide! I  _told_ you it was a slide!”

“Well I never! A lovely little whale slide. You don’t see those every day” Tony said, feigning disbelief. He looked at Loki. “Have you ever seen one of these?”

“No, never” Loki said, sitting back down in the water.

Peter looked at the slide, touching the whales smiley mouth and shining eye carefully. He touched the top edge, and padded round to the back of it, looking at the little steps. He looked at Tony.

“Daddy?”

“Yes, darling?”

“Can I go down the slide?”

“Of course you can” Tony said. 

“I won’t fall?”

“No, of course you won’t” Tony knelt down. “I’ll be behind you, and I’ll be ready to catch you if you slip. Ok?”

Peter looked at Loki. “Daddy?”

Loki shifted and sat a few feet in front of the bottom of the slide.

“I’ll stay here, and then I can catch you at the bottom” he said. “Don’t look so scared, little darling. Slides are fun”

Peter lifted his head determinedly and started his way up the little steps of the whale slide. He sat down at the top, feeling a little funny. It felt much higher up now. He whimpered slightly.

“Come on, darling” Loki said. “Come on down”

Peter looked at him, and shook his head. “It’s too scary”

“I know it’s a little nerve-wracking, but you’re a brave little thing, aren’t you?”

Peter shook his head.

“Yes you are, kiddo” Tony said. “You’re a little super-hero! I’m sure you can conquer a slide”

Peter looked at him. He nodded, and pushed off. He squeaked as he shot down the slide into the water. He lay in shock for a moment, and then burst out laughing. He jumped up and jumped into Loki’s arms. 

“Again, again!”

Loki laughed, giving him a little cuddle. “Alright, alright! Go on then!”

Peter rushed back and clambered up the steps and down the slide again. He giggled even more than the first time when he splashed into the water, jumped up, and went and did it again. And again. And again. Tony laughed, moving over and sitting to Loki’s side. Loki moved back a little, making sure there was enough space for Peter to splash down the slide safely. Tony nudged him.

“Cute, isn’t he?”

“He’s wonderful” Loki said, smiling fondly at the boy. “I love him so much”

“Yeah, I do too” Tony said. He looked at Loki. “What’s that look for?”

“He’s so happy, isn’t he? He’s just… Listen, I love big Peter with everything I’ve got, but he’s… He’s miserable”

“No he’s not!” Tony said. “He’s poorly, but he’s not  _miserable_! He’s happy. He has his moments, and his down days, just like we do. He’s happy, despite everything. You know that”

“Little Peter doesn’t have that tainted life. Little Peter isn’t poorly”

“What are you getting at, Loki Stark?” 

“…He’s so much more comfortable and happy this way”

“It’s only temporary, you know, this whole toddler thing” Tony said. “It’s  _temporary_. Just until the reversal gun is sorted. And then we’ll have our funny little teenager back”

“Yeah…” 

“Loki. Loki, look at me”

Loki tore his eyes away from Peter and looked at Tony. 

“What are you thinking, Loki? Tell me honestly; what’s going through your head?”

Loki turned his head away. Tony cupped his cheek in his hand, turning his head so he had to look at him. Loki glanced at Peter out of the corner of his eye. He was busy going down the slide again and again, giggling to himself, his face flushed with excitement. 

“Loki”

Loki swallowed, looking at Tony. He couldn’t bring himself to make proper eye contact.

“It’s better this way”

Tony withdrew his hand quickly. He stared at him. He didn’t know what to say, what to think. 

“Daddy, daddy!”

Tony stood up, going over to Peter, grateful that he was saved from having to respond to Loki. 

“Hey baby! What’s up?”

“I wanna go to the seal! I’ve been on the whale, now I wanna go on the seal!”

“I don’t think you can really go  _on_ the seal, chick” Tony said. 

“Oh”

“We can still go over and meet it though”

“Ok!” Peter took Tony’s hand, jumping up and down in the water excitedly. He looked up at Loki. “We’re gonna go and see the seal!”

Loki smiled, standing up. “Ok”

Peter held his free hand out to Loki, who took it. 

“Seal, seal, seal, gonna meet a funny seal~” Peter sang quietly as they went over to the big seal.

It was a big statue, taller than Loki, stood up on an orange pedestal, nose in the air  water spurting from its mouth. 

“It’s like the Pingu seal!” Peter grinned, pulling his hands away from his parents and patting the seal with both hands. 

“I think that seal is called Robby” Loki said. 

Peter wrinkled his nose. “That’s not a good name”

Loki smiled and ruffled his wet hair. “Do you want to touch the seals nose?”

“Yes, yes!”

Loki scooped Peter up and held him up so he could touch the seal nose. Peter giggled excitedly, liking seeing everything from high up. He put his hand over the nozzle of the seals mouth, laughing at the feel of the water jet against his palm.

“Put him down now” Tony said after a couple of minutes.

“He likes it” Loki said. 

“Just put him down”

Loki scowled at him, but put Peter down anyway. Peter whined.

“No! I don’t wanna go down!” Peter scowled. “Pick me up!”

“Daddy said I have to put you down” Loki said. 

“I wanna touch the seals nose!”

“You’ve already touched it” Tony said. “Let’s paddle about for a bit”

“No! I wanna touch the seal!”

“You already have!”

“I WANNA TOUCH THE SEAL!” Peter shouted, and he started crying.

“Flippin’ ‘eck Peter, you’ve been a proper little crybaby today, kiddo” Tony said, sighing heavily. “Stop being so dramatic”

Peter cried harder, holding his arms up to the seal. Loki picked him up, putting him on his shoulders so he could touch the seal again. The toddler stopped crying almost immediately. 

“You’re such a pushover, Loki” Tony sighed. “You’re gonna get told off”

“By who? There’s only about thirty other people here, and most of them are in the deepest bit of the deep end”

“I’m not standing here all day”

“Tony, for gods sake” 

Tony waded into the pool, moving round to the front of the seal, under the water spray. He watched Peter, who was happy batting the stream of water, tapping the seals nose, and patting the top of its head. 

“Don’t you think he’s spent enough time on this yet?”

“He’s enjoying it” Loki said. “Stop being unreasonable”

“Oh right, I’m being unreasonable” Tony said. “So as soon as I have an opinion, it’s unreasonable. I see. Ok… Wanna start an argument, is that it? How about we talk about what you said a few minutes ago? That this is better? What did that mean, my darling husband? What was it; a threat? Want to just, I don’t know, make sure the reversal gun doesn’t get into our house when its ready? Just trap him as a toddler forever, is that it? Or, were you-”

Loki pushed him in the chest, knocking him backwards into the water. Peter looked at him, surprised. Tony lay in shock for a moment. He looked up at Loki, surprised and quite offended. Loki stuck his tongue out at him - and Tony suddenly spluttered and started laughing. He stuck his tongue out at him. 

“Get down here then, idiot”

Loki took Peter off his shoulders and put him down, and then joined Tony in the water. Tony splashed him, and Loki splashed him back. Tony splashed him again, and then gave him a little push. Loki pushed him back, and they started a little wrestle. Loki let Tony get the upper hand, and when he was on his back, Tony stopped.

“ _Is_ that what you meant? That you don’t want to change him back?”

Loki looked up at him. “…I don’t know”

Tony swallowed. “…I shouldn’t’ve got bitchy with you like that. I think I was just having a moment. I’m sorry”

“I know” Loki sat up, looking at Peter. “Are you ok, chick?”

“Are you fighting?”

“Just playing” Loki smiled. “Now, do you want to have another little swim with daddy?”

“Ok!” Peter nodded, giggling. “Swimming is fun!” 

“Isn’t it just?”

-

When Peter started yawning and slowing down, they decided to leave. Peter whined a bit, and he whined while his parents towelled him dry and shoved him back into his clothes, but then went quiet when Loki gave him back his rocket. He told his rocket all about the swimming pool while his parents got dried and dressed.

“I think as soon as we get home, it’s lunchtime and then nap time” Tony said as he strapped Peter into his car seat.

Peter nodded absent-mindedly. He looked out of the window and listened to his parents talking for the first few minutes of the car ride, but then he realised just how tired he was. He yawned, cuddled up with his rocket, and fell fast asleep.

*


	19. Memories, Good Days, Bad Days

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter this time.
> 
> Content warning: this chapter follows strong themes by way of discussion about death and bereavement, including mentions of child and infant death. If you want to skip this chapter and want a summary of important points in it, please comment and I'll be happy to give you an overview

-

Bruce stepped up and offered to look after Peter on Thursday so Loki and Tony could go out. It was the seventh of the month, and Bruce knew there was always an unavoidable commitment on that day.

Tony grabbed Loki’s hand just inside the cemetery gates.

“I’m not ready”

Loki looked at him. “Ok. Do you want to have a little walk round first?”

Tony nodded, keeping tight hold of Loki. “Can you take the flowers?”

“Of course” 

Loki took the bouquet from him, balancing it against his free arm. Loki squeezed Tony’s hand reassuringly, starting down the adjacent path. They walked for some time, before turning down one row of graves. There were lots of black marble kerb headstones filled with coloured glass pebbles and personalised memorials. Many of them had cards and flowers and plaques and statues and candles. Some had bottles of beer balanced on their edges, obviously something the deceased had been a fan of. Many of them showed the persons interests in life;- television programmes, songs, hobbies, and the like. Many of the mens ones had football team logos and colours on them. Almost all of them had photos of the person included. They were big, shrine-like monuments, and they were beautiful. 

Tony held Loki’s hand tight as they walked down the rows. They later stopped in front of one of the graves. Blue pebbles. Little statues of Disney characters. A framed poem about daughters. 

“She was only eight” 

“Does it make you wonder what happened?”

Tony nodded. “These people are all so young. I think a lot of them, those teenagers, it could have been traffic accidents or something… Illnesses, maybe. This little girl… Maybe she was sick”

“We’ll never know, unless it explicitly states. But it’s not our place to know” Loki looked at the picture of the little girl printed onto the headstone. “Aside from that stillborn, I think this is the youngest out of these ones”

“One of them was six” Tony said. He swallowed hard. “These are nice, aren’t they? They’re so personal. You can tell how much all these people were loved”

“Is it bad, do you think, that I like looking at them?”

“No” Tony shook his head. “I do too, in a way. It’s peaceful, and it’s interesting. Just… it’s horrible, isn’t it? Loss”

Loki’s mouth twitched. He started to walk again, so Tony did too. They were slow, taking their time, reading everything, looking at everything. Tony stopped again, in front of a grave for a young baby. 

“Three months old” he said. “There’s a baby and child cemetery here, isn’t there? Why are some of them over here?”

“I suppose it’s up to the family where they want them buried” Loki said. “Maybe it’s easier for them, having them separate from everyone else’s lost little ones”

Tony looked up, and Loki did too. In the near distance, they could see the start of that section of the cemetery. They could see the first few headstones, one of them clearly shaped like a teddy bear, and age balloons visible flying above.

“Do you want to go over?”

“Oh Tony, I can’t” Loki said. “Even just looking from over here breaks my heart. I hate that that bit even has to exist”

Tony leant his head against Loki’s shoulder. “I’ve imagined this twice”

“Imagined what?”

“Coming here for… someone else”

Loki stayed quiet.

“The night of the accident, it went through my head. Until we saw him. And again that night he had that building site accident, and he had a reaction to those antibiotics, and his heart stopped”

“Don’t” Loki said. “Seriously, don’t. Even if it’s just a concept come to light from fear, I can’t bear to hear it. It makes it feel like a very real possibility and I just can’t torture myself like that. Not over our son”

“I’m sorry. It’s just… My mind is absolutely racing right now. I don’t even really know why”

Loki sighed and squeezed his hand. “It’s just like that sometimes. We’ve had a tough few weeks too”

“Loki… You’ve seen babies die before. How do you cope with it? Do you remember them all, or does it all kinda merge together?”

“Jo Jo and I have a book” Loki said. “It’s a blue marbled notebook with a stork carved into the cover. He writes in blue, and I write in green. We’ve got the names of every baby we’ve lost in there. We write their name, or their family name if they didn’t have one, and we write the dates and the times. We write about what happened and how we felt about it. We get it out of our systems as quickly as possible. It’s easier to get out the emotional side of it before we have to do the official reports… I haven’t lost anywhere near as many as I’ve seen delivered. The NICU nurses aren’t so lucky”

“When we have our baby, do you think you’ll quit?”

Loki paused for a moment, looking down at the teddies and toys on the babies grave. 

“…No, I don’t think so. If I could go back to work there after my long hospital stay, and after losing May, and after all the times Peter’s ended up in A&E, I don’t think having our baby is going to make me give it up” he said. “I think I’ll carry on regardless” 

Tony swallowed. “I like Oliver”

“Hm?”

“For a boy” Tony said. “Oliver for a boy. Oliver Stark”

“What about a girl?”

“I don’t know. I haven’t thought of anything for a girl yet”

“What about May?”

Tony went quiet for a moment. “I don’t think Peter would like it. Not as a first name. Maybe as a middle name. Something May Stark”

“Princess”

“What?”

“Princess” Loki repeated. “I had a dream… We thought we’d decided on a shortlist of names, but then the baby was born and she was just too perfect for any of them. We were cradling her in our arms and we were talking to her, calling her our little princess, and we looked at each other, and we just knew…”

“Princess…” Tony said. “Princess May Stark. Or Oliver Stark. Oliver Loki Stark?”

“I think we may need to brainstorm that one a little further” Loki said softly, but he was touched.

“I think it’d be nice to name him after you. I think we should name the baby after  _someone_ , anyway”

“And here I was, thinking we had said that we were going to wait until conception before thinking up baby names”

“We also originally said we’d wait until the new year before asking Peter if we could adopt him, and we barely lasted a fortnight before we cracked on that one”

Loki smiled at him. “Ah, you’re right there. So. Princess May Stark, or Oliver Stark. Loki, Tony, Peter, and Princess”

“Or Loki, Tony, Peter, and Oliver” Tony raised Loki’s hand to his mouth and kissed it. He took a deep breath. “I think I’m ready now”

Loki nodded “I think I am too”

-

They looked down at the grave. The headstone was still pretty as ever; black marble with gold lettering, chosen by Peter. But after seeing all of the kerbed memorials, it looked almost plain. The grave was still covered in flowers and candles and trinkets - Loki and Tony knew they weren’t the only people who still visited regularly - but underneath all of that, it was just a mound of grass. Loki took the flowers in his arms from the cellophane and set them in the grave flower vases. He stood up again, taking Tony’s hand once more. 

-

It felt strange, being there on the seventh without Peter. All three of them visited often, sometimes alone, sometimes together, whenever they felt they should or whenever they felt they needed or wanted to. Peter always brought flowers. Tony often wrote a letter and, when visiting alone, would sit and read it out loud. Loki often went empty-handed, but he’d sit on the path at the foot of the grave, talking, and imagining that maybe she was somewhere out there, watching and talking back to him. Sometimes he felt like he could hear her voice and sense her presence. He just wasn’t sure if it was his imagination or not.

But the seventh, that was the day the three of them always went together. They all dressed smartly, they bought an expensive bouquet from the florist Peter favoured, and they went down to visit May’s resting place together. Peter had struggled considerably at the start. He’d start to get funny around the fourth or fifth of the month, and he’d often have some sort of fit or tantrum on the sixth before going all funny and shaky and whiny on the morning of the seventh. 

For a long time he’d hated it. He still went, and he wouldn’t miss it for anything. But every time the seventh popped up on the calendar, he felt sick. Even now, when things were less of a hardship and more of a routine, his mind was thrown back to that fateful day where he’d woken up at the Stark’s, checked his phone and seen it was the seventh of January. He hated thinking of that day, which had started so nice and normal and ended with his entire world crashing down around him. He hated the feeling that he could have done more. He hated remembering being told. He hated  _hating_ ; remembering how much he hated the look of his room when he got to the Stark’s that night, how he hated the feeling of having lost everything, how he hated feeling so unbearably sick, how he found himself hating himself, hating the world, hating it all. 

A lot of the time he could avoid delving back into the day completely, but not always. But he was lucky, because his parents went through the same loss, and they knew how hard it was for him. They never made him feel bad for struggling.

-

“She deserves better than this” Tony said after a long silence.

“She never should have died”

“I don’t just mean that” Tony said. “We can’t do anything about that. I mean… I want to update this”

“Update it?”

“The grave. All those ones we just looked at are so beautiful and special and lovely. We never really looked into it properly. We should give her one of those. Give her something more than a headstone and grass. We should look into it properly, get it done. Give her a memorial just as special and lovely as she was”

Loki looked at Tony, at the tears in his eyes and the quivering of his lip. Tony kept his eyes on the grave a few moments more, and the turned and threw his arms round Loki, and he started to sob. He didn’t say anything;- he didn’t need to. Loki held Tony tight and closed his eyes, and it was only a matter of seconds before he broke down too. All of it still felt so raw sometimes. Whenever they visited, they wondered what she’d think. What would she think now, when Peter had been turned into a toddler? What would she think if she could see them? Would she be able to tell that they’d been doing their absolute best by him, ever since that night May had been marked DOA? They liked to think she knew. She always left Peter with them if she was going away or something was happening which meant she couldn’t look after him. She even gave them a type of custody agreement, for goodness sake; every Wednesday and every second weekend. They were all happy with that. They knew where they stood. So of  _course_ she knew they’d take the best possible care of him, no matter what. She trusted them. She’d be proud of how far Peter had come. She’d be relieved that he was being looked after by people who loved him more than anything else in the world. 

But sometimes, at times like this, none of that reassuring knowledge mattered. Sometimes, all they wanted was to be able to pick up the phone and talk to her. They didn’t always miss her quite so painfully, but the loss was still felt at the back of their minds. On days like today, they just wanted to hug her again. They wanted to hold her and laugh with her and argue over what they were going to do together that day. They’d been such brilliantly close friends (and a little more besides), and that was a hard thing to say goodbye to.

“Why does it hurt more when we’re going through stuff?”

“Because she was always at the other end of the phone to help us through it before” Loki said. “Because she was part of our family”

“I felt so bad for throwing up when I identified the body. All the staff were so nice, saying it wasn’t uncommon, moving me away and getting me a drink and talking to me like they completely understood…” Tony let go of Loki, wiping his eyes on his sleeve. “Peter wanted to see her. Do you remember him shouting and begging and pleading with us, saying he needed to see her? He was absolutely beside himself. He near enough screamed the house down when we said no”

“It would have absolutely killed him” Loki said. “Tony, I don’t know, what you saw that night at the hospital, but considering I know her injuries were incompatible with life, I don’t want to know. But I saw her at the funeral home, after she’d been cleaned and made up and looked after and- and prepared, and I absolutely could not deal with seeing her lying there, looking like herself but knowing she wasn’t really there, and you know that. If I was affected by it the way I was, imagine what it would have done to that little boy”

“I had to say no” Tony said. “I’d seen her at the hospital. I didn’t know they could do so much to make her look… Well. Like she was just sleeping. But even if I had known, I still wouldn’t’ve let him go”

“He said to me once that he was glad we hadn’t let him” Loki said. “Quite a while after everything, he said he didn’t think he would have been able to deal with it. He’s not sore about us saying no. He thanks us, in a way”

“He… He absolutely fell apart that year and we just watched. We watched him break, and we did so much wrong. We shouted at him. We sent him to school way too early and we know how that ended. We didn’t address the PTSD until he was at St Hendrick’s. We should’ve forced him into counselling straight away”

“We were grieving, Tony. We were trying to deal with our own grief while also suddenly having him full time, and while trying to juggle the rest of our lives too. We didn’t know how best to deal with his trauma, and losing May was definitely at the forefront of our minds. Neither of us were in a position to turn around and decide that what was wrong with Peter was more than grief, and we certainly wouldn’t have known what to do about it then either”

“He stopped speaking. I got cross at him for that for such a long time. I made him cry at work events because of the way I spoke to him and refused to understand the condition when he couldn’t talk to people. I shouldn’t’ve taken him to work events anyway; he was far too fragile”

“Maybe” Loki said. “We’re both at fault, but we did the best we could under the circumstances. I made mistakes too. The way I treated him when I found out he’d been skiving from that first school, that wasn’t great, especially when we found out why he’d done it. The way I treated him that day he ran away to the airport and tried to go to England was even worse. I talked to him about it months later and he said he’d never been so scared of me before or since. He said it was like I’d turned into a completely different person, someone he didn’t know. He said he thought I was going to injure him… And then there’s my sabbatical. I went for the right reasons, but I should have told you first, and I shouldn’t have walked out and left him alone in the house the way I did”

“Those few months while you were away were some of the hardest in my life. I did things I regretted in that time too” Tony swallowed hard. “That year was horrendous for all of us. We all did stupid, reckless things, and we all hurt each other and made some pretty catastrophic errors. But we got through it, didn’t we? We made amends. We forgave each other and we got help and we’ve worked through it. But, you know, despite all of that, we always had something going for us, didn’t we?”

“And what was that?”

“We always loved each other. We didn’t always like each other, but we always loved each other”

Loki put an arm round Tony’s shoulders. They looked at May’s grave, and drops of water started falling from the sky. At first it was just spitting, but it soon came down heavily. They listened to the sound of the rain against the pavement and the leaves of the trees. They listened to the thunder that began to rumble above them. They swallowed, and rested their heads together.

“We have a son, who can and will crawl into our beds when he’s scared during the night. He’ll climb onto our laps for a cuddle when he’s sad. He’ll come crying to us when something bad happens, and he’ll tell us all about it. Our son trusts us, and he loves us, and he knows that we love him too” Loki said. “He knows we’re not perfect, but I think, like us, he knows that all of our triumphs have far outweighed our mistakes. I know we’ve been through a lot together, but when you take those away, we’re happy. All of us. We’re a happy family. Despite everything”

“…A couple of months ago he came into the study. You know he’s not a fan of the study”

“He says the dark wood makes him feel unnerved”

“Right. Well, he came into the study, and he was all teary-eyed. And I was like, what’s the matter, darling? And he came and crawled onto my lap and cuddled into me and said, he said he wasn’t crying because he was sad. He said he was crying because he was happy. And I asked him why, and he said; ‘because you’re my dad’” 

Loki took a deep, shaky breath. “He’s not what we’re going home to”

“I know” Tony closed his eyes for a moment. “We’ve got a toddler to go home to. He won’t be a toddler forever though. Your brother’s gonna make sure that reversal gun gets sorted”

“He’s a sweet little toddler. He’s so cute and lovely and funny and happy. I really do love him, Tony”

“I do too. He’s brilliant, but… We adopted a teenager”

“It’s going to be hard letting little Peter go”

“We’ll get normal Peter back. The Peter he’s  _supposed_ to be: big Peter, teenage Peter” Tony said. “We’ll get him back… We’ll still remember little Peter, though. We’ve got the memories, and the pictures”

“And all of his things”

Tony put an arm round Loki’s waist. “May would laugh at us. Especially me. She’d say surely the great Tony ‘Iron Man’ Stark could deal with watching Spongebob and making up juice bottles for a few weeks”

“The school rang me on Monday” Loki said.

“Yeah?”

“They know what’s going on, obviously. They said they’re happy to offer Peter a place in the nursery at their sister school while he’s a toddler”

“Oh” Tony said. “What did you say?”

“I said thank you, but we’re not interested”

Tony held him tighter. “Good”

*


	20. Work

-

Loki walked into the lab and found Tony sorting through his tools with little Peter balanced on his hip.

“Please tell me that soldering iron isn’t on”

“No, no, it’s not even plugged in” Tony said. “Hey, could you take the baby for a minute?”

Loki took Peter from him. “Hello, little one”

“Hi daddy” Peter yawned. “I’m all worn out”

Loki laughed slightly. “Have you been a busy boy today?”

“He’s been the busiest” Tony said. “We went food shopping, and then we went to the park, and then we’ve spent all afternoon sorting out and tidying up down here. Very busy indeed!”

“I don’t think you can call it ‘all afternoon’ when it’s only three o’ clock” Loki said.

“Coming from the person who says five o’ clock is the evening”

Loki shook his head. “Do you want to go and have a little sleep, chick?”

Peter nodded. Loki gave him a little squeeze.

“Oh, Loki?” Tony said. “Today makes six weeks”

Loki looked at Peter and gave him a little kiss on the cheek. “I know”

-

Tony sat down with Loki after tea the next evening. Peter was playing on the rug with his baby doll, changing its outfits and ‘feeding’ it with one of his own plastic spoons. 

“This has been a really long six weeks, hasn’t it?”

“Yes” Loki said. “Being back at work makes it feel like it has been even longer”

“We’ve got a bit more of a routine going on now. We’re doing ok, aren’t we?”

Loki nodded. “Li said she was proud of us. She said we were doing brilliantly with him”

“My press manager keeps emailing me. There’s two magazines in particular who keep getting in touch, and a magazine show keep pestering him for interviews with us about this. One of them wants us to get together with some of the other kids Kindsprengen hit. I keep telling him to tell them no, but apparently they’re very persistent”

“Just keep telling them no. We don’t want our little boy under the spotlight any more than he already is”

Tony looked at Peter. He had his baby doll cradled in his arms now, and was very slowly reading a Mr Men book to it.

“He’s done really well with his reading, hasn’t he?”

“That week after my crash gave me a lot of time to sit down with him” Loki said. “He’s a clever thing; he picked it up quite quickly. He’s still very rocky, but, well, he’s done very well”

“How’s he doing with his writing?”

“He’ll write his name at the bottom of his pictures, but that’s about it” Loki said. “I don’t think he likes it very much. He enjoys reading, because he gets to find a story, and that’s exciting for him. He doesn’t find writing very exciting”

“Well, I guess that makes sense” Tony said. “I think we need to go and do something else with him. I know he loves the park, but I’m getting a bit sick of it”

“Yes, me too. He enjoyed swimming, so we could go again”

“Is there a space museum near here? He’d probably enjoy that” Tony said.

“We’ll have to look into it. I wouldn’t mind going to the pool again. I know we’ve got plenty to do with him here, but it’s nice to get out and about sometimes”

“Like you said; we’ll look into it. Maybe we could at least convince him to go on the playground at the park. He’d enjoy it if he gave it a chance. Big Peter’s always loved the swings”

They were both quiet for a minute or two, watching the toddler. The cuckoo clock sounded the hour, and Tony sighed.

“He needs a bath tonight”

“I’ll do it” Loki said. “You need to prepare for your visit to the office tomorrow”

“I might take the kid with me. Get him out of the house, show him off a bit”

“That’s up to you” Loki said, standing up. “Peter, darling? It’s bath time”

“Oh” 

“Oh indeed. Come along now. Put baby in the cot”

Peter obediently put his baby doll in its little cot, tucking it in carefully. He rocked the cot gently.

“Will baby be ok?”

“Of course. I think they’re asleep already” Loki said. “Now come on; bath time”

-

Tony stood in the doorway and watched Loki drying Peter and powdering him and zipping him into his teddy bear onesie. 

“I just had another email from my press manager”

Loki looked up. “Oh?”

“Oh indeed. It was from this company. I’ve never heard of them before, but they say that if Peter is a toddler, we should consider sending him to nursery or taking him to toddler groups. Something to do with it being important and the best way to enrich him”

“Tell them to mind their own business” Loki said, putting Peter’s hood up and tickling him under the chin to make him laugh. 

“I might. I haven’t replied yet. I just started thinking about Peter’s friends. I know Liz sent the box, and then she wrote that letter after we sent her a box, but none of his other friends have really done anything, have they?”

“Quite a few of them texted his phone. Fact checking, I think” Loki said. “But I turned the handset off pretty quickly. Flo texts me sometimes, checking how he is. She says she wants to visit but I’m not sure if she should”

“I think we should talk about that” Tony said. “It might be weird for her. It’s weird for us, and the other Avengers. But they all saw it happen, so…”

“Clint said he’s going to pop in next time he’s away from home. Steve keeps offering to babysit, too”

“Have you heard anything from Thor since he went back to space?”

Loki shook his head, taking the bottle of baby powder from Peter and putting it up high, out of his reach. Tony sighed.

“He needs to stay in touch better” he said. “…Do you think Carol is gonna put in an appearance at some point?”

“I hope so” Loki sighed. “Peter asked for her the other day. I miss her too… I love her, and I know she loves us, but I also know that we’re not her first priority. She has everything she’s doing on other worlds, and then of course she’s got Maria and the girl”

“Monica” Tony said. “You can’t blame her for putting her family first”

“I don’t” Loki said. “I just miss her. And you know how close her and big Peter are”

“That lady is away for months at a time all the time” Tony said. “I think everyone in her life is used to that. Even big Peter”

“I need to put Peter to bed” Loki said, changing the subject.

“Loki…”

Loki picked Peter up, much to the little boys dismay.

“Hey! Daddy, put me down! I’m busy!”

“It’s bedtime”

“I don’t want to go to bed! I want daddy!”

Loki sighed. Tony came over and took Peter from him, cuddling him close, breathing in deeply.

“Um, Tony?”

“Hm?”

“You appear to be inhaling our son again”

“Hm? Oh” Tony laughed slightly. “Yeah, it’s just the best. Y’know when people are just out of the bath or shower and they’re all nice and clean and you can smell the soap on their skin? Ugh, it’s just such a good thing”

Loki just shook his head. “Are you putting him to bed?”

“Can do. Are you at the hospital again tomorrow?”

“They’ve asked me to do an extra shift, but I haven’t decided yet”

“Is Jo Jo working tomorrow?”

Loki nodded.

“I think you should go in” Tony said. “I’ll take Peter to the office with me, and look after him afterwards. Ring them up. Let them know you’ll be in”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, definitely” Tony said, setting Peter down on the bed and giving him his rocket. “I can ask Happy to pick you up in the morning?”

“I’ll just get a taxi” Loki said. “I need the thinking space while I’m bikeless”

“I still don’t think you should get another one”

“I know, but we also both know that the crash wasn’t my fault. I’ll look into it properly some other time. We’re both a bit busy to go motorbike shopping right now”

“Can I have a motorbike?” Peter asked.

“Certainly not!” Tony said. “You can have a good nights sleep instead. Head on pillow, please”

Loki smiled slightly, watching them. Tony was always so good with him, despite what he might sometimes think. Sure, they didn’t have experience with toddlers before any of this had happened - but then, they hadn’t had experience with teenagersbefore big Peter had come into their lives either. So maybe it wasn’t so different after all.

-

Peter wrinkled his nose at the new-carpet smell in the office building. He held onto Tony’s hand, his rocket under his free arm. He didn’t like it here. It was all weird and busy and he didn’t like all these strange people pinching his cheeks and ruffling his hair. 

Tony was perfectly happy. He knew a lot of people who worked in this office, and some of them he even considered friends. They didn’t see each other very much, and even though the visit was supposed to be strictly business-related, it was good to have the opportunity for a bit of a catch up. Plus, he liked it when people fussed over Peter. People generally fussed over big Peter anyway, so this kind of fuss was a bit different - but not in a bad way. Tony was proud of his son, even the toddler. 

Peter got bored very quickly. He didn’t want to be in this office. He wanted to be at home playing with his toys, or at the park watching the ducks swimming round the pond. He liked those ducks, even the one with the broken beak and the one with only one leg. He’d much rather be with them than with his dads workforce. It was so  _boring_ , and he felt like they’d been there for hours. Days, even.

“Still, it’s a shame he ended up in the firing line”

“Yeah, it’s not ideal” Tony said. “Still, we’re getting used to having a toddler about”

“He’s a cute little kid” 

“Yeah, he is” Tony looked down at Peter, who scowled up at him. “What’s that face for?”

“This is boring”

Tony and the other man laughed, and continued their conversation. Peter tried to be good, but it was hard work. Plus, he was starting to feel funny, and uncomfortable. 

“Oh oh, I think someone needs the toilet” the man said, nodding towards Peter.

Tony looked down at Peter, who was squirming and pressing his legs together.

“Why didn’t you say, kiddo?” Tony raised an eyebrow at the man. “I’ll talk to you in a bit. Better get this one sorted before he has an accident all over your new carpets”

-

Peter was very nearly asleep by the time they left the office. He cuddled against Tony’s chest, looking cross. Tony laughed at him as he strapped him into his car seat.

“Now there’s a face! You look just like your daddy” he grinned.

Peter didn’t smile back. 

“Do you wanna go and see daddy?”

Peter looked up at him, and then looked away. Tony sighed and ruffled the boys hair gently.

“Yeah, let’s go and see daddy”

-

Jo Jo laughed and kissed Loki hard on the cheek. 

“You know you love me really”

“Not when you pull this kind of thing!” Loki said. 

“Hey, winning a bet is not me pulling any kind of thing. Don’t be a sore loser” he stuck his tongue out at him. “Right, pay up. Where’s your locker key?”

Loki scowled and handed the key over. Jo Jo took it.

“Ooh, new keyring?”

“Not exactly. The toddler broke the other one last night, and I didn’t have time to fix it”

“Gutting, absolutely gutting” Jo Jo said, shoving the key in the lock and opening Loki’s locker, surveying the contents. “Hmm, let’s see, let’s see… Lokes, your locker is pitiful. I’ve never seen it so empty”

“In my defence, I have been off for a good few weeks for varying reasons”

“Yeah yeah, I guess so” Jo Jo said. “Hmm… Right, I’m having this”

He held up a can of cherry flavoured energy drink.

“You bastard, those are my favourites!”

“Exactly, that’s why I chose it!” he grinned, shutting Loki’s locker and handing the key back.

“Bastard, like I said” Loki said, putting his key back in his locker. 

Jo Jo gasped, holding a hand over his chest. “You wound me”

Loki rolled his eyes.

“You know you love me really” Jo Jo said, sidling up to him. “Come on; give us a kiss”

Loki sighed, but gave him a quick peck on the cheek anyway. Jo Jo grinned triumphantly.

“I’m a god-whisperer, that’s what I am”

“A what?”

“A god-whisperer, yknow, like a horse whisperer, but for gods… You’ve never heard of a horse whisperer?”

“No, I don’t believe I have”

There was a knock on the staff room door frame.

“Oh hey, Mary”

“Are you planning on doing any work today, Jo Jo?”

Jo Jo shrugged. “I’m entitled to a break”

Mary rolled her eyes. “Whatever. Loki, there’s someone here to see you”

Loki quirked an eyebrow and followed her out into the hallway. 

“Hey Loki”

Loki’s mouth fell open when he saw Tony stood there with little Peter in his arms.

“It’s you! What are you doing here?!” 

“Thought we’d drop in and surprise you” Tony smiled.

Loki couldn’t think of what to say, so he just laughed. 

“Aww, you’ve gone all giddy” Jo Jo said, stood at his side.

“I didn’t expect to see them! Hey, little boy, come here” Loki said, taking Peter and giving him a big cuddle. “Aww, you’re so squeezy, baby! Oh, I’ve got to show him off. Come on baby; I’m gonna introduce you to a few people”

Tony laughed and shook his head fondly as Loki wandered off with Peter. 

“I’ve never known a man look so good in scrubs” he said.

“Hey, what about me?” Jo Jo said, preening. 

Tony gave him an amused look. “Hey, is that one of Loki’s energy drinks?”

“Ha ha, yeah. He lost a bet”

“Oh. What bet?”

“He said he was quicker at taking bloods than I am, so we got one of the others to time us individually, and I was three seconds quicker. So, energy drink” he grinned. “His locker needs stocking. You’d better remind him, cos there’s only so many instant pasta pots I’m willing to sacrifice, even to someone like him”

“You’re rubbish at hiding your feelings, you know”

“Oh, I don’t need to hide them” Jo Jo said. “I told him outright as soon as I realised anyway”

“Really? Wow. What did he say?”

“He said he wasn’t surprised. He said he was, of course, an irresistible deity, so it was only natural that I fancied him”

Tony laughed. “Good god, whatever am I married to? He’s so…”

“Brilliant? Funny? Absolutely insane? He’s flippin’ hilarious, that’s what he is. He’s so dramatic sometimes too. But he’s real good at keeping patients calm here, including the littlies”

“He’s great. He’s been so good with toddler Peter”

“Jo Jo!” Mary reappeared. “You’re due in theatre in twenty minutes”

“What? No, that surgery isn’t until three!”

“It’s been pulled forward. Go and get scrubbed in”

“Someone could’ve told me” he shook his head, and looked at Tony. “Scrub Nurse Johanssen is in high demand today. See you later!”

-

Tony finally tracked Loki down introducing little Peter to Doctor Shefska, who smiled at Tony when he approached.

“He really does look like you, you know” he said. “Have you considered a DNA test?”

“Doc, please. Literally every single DNA testing company has asked me the same thing”

“They keep offering us free tests” Loki said.

“They’re idiots” Tony said. “I adopted him, so he’s my son regardless. The resemblance is just coincidental”

“There’s only one way to be sure”

Tony smiled grimly and chose not to reply. Dr Shefska tickled Peter under the chin. 

“He’s a cute little thing. I hear Thor is sourcing a reversal for this”

“He’s trying” Loki said. “We haven’t had many updates, so it’s not something we can put a time stamp on”

“Well, however long it takes, I’m sure there’s going to be a big wave of relief when it’s sorted. How many children were affected again?”

“Twenty seven, including Peter” Loki said. “It doesn’t sound like a lot, but that’s a full class, isn’t it?”

“It is indeed. It must be strange and difficult, especially for you”

“Why especially for us?” Tony said.

“You never knew the boy the first time round, when he was originally a toddler. I wouldn’t mind betting most, if not all of the other parents knew them from birth, so they already had an idea of what they were like and how to look after them as a toddler”

“Well, I suppose so” Loki said before Tony could respond. “But I think we’re doing well regardless of that fact”

“Oh, certainly. He looks incredibly healthy and happy, more so than the teenager”

“Hey, that’s not really fair” Tony said. “He’s got PTSD, and there’s nothing we can do about that, not exactly! This kid hasn’t been through the trauma, so of course he’s gonna look healthier and happier!”

“Tony, it’s ok” Loki said. 

“No, it’s not ok! We’re good parents to normal Peter too!”

“He never said we weren’t”

“He insinuated it!”

“No, he didn’t” Loki said, looking at Dr Shefska. “Did you?”

“No, I didn’t. I fear I worded that statement wrong. I never meant to cause any offence, or make it come across as a judgement. I apologise”

Tony nodded, and took Peter from Loki, giving him a cuddle.

“He’s a very quiet child, isn’t he?”

Loki nodded. “Yes, especially compared to big Peter. Big Peter’s always so loud at home. He’s always got a lot to say. But little Peter…”

“He’s fine. You do get quiet children” Tony said, kissing the boy on the cheek. “I think he’s tired right now, anyway. I think I’m gonna take him home”

“I’ll take my leave of you. I’m due elsewhere” Dr Shefska said.

“Bye” Tony said. He gave Peter a squeeze. “Time to go, baby”

“Oh Tony, let me hold him a little longer” Loki took Peter back from him, giving him a kiss. “I’m not going to want to go back to work now”

Peter looked up at him. “Why?”

“Because I’ve seen you, and now I just want to go home with you”

“Oh. You’re coming home?”

“I’ll be back later, darling”

Tony’s phone started ringing, and he stepped aside for a few minutes to answer it. He finished the call and took Peter from Loki.

“Say goodbye to daddy now, darling. We’ve got somewhere to be”

“Oh” Loki said, taking Peter’s hand. “Where are you going?” 

“Don’t you have work to be doing?”

“Don’t get snappy at me! It’s not my fault tha-”

He was interrupted by an alarm sounding, and people shouting for the crash trolley.

“That’s a crash. I’ve got to go”

Tony quickly turned and left. He didn’t want Peter to hear that kind of incident going off, and he didn’t want to hear it either.

-

Peter scowled at Tony when he was put back into his car seat.

“What’s that face for?” 

Peter didn’t say anything. Tony sighed and shut the door. He was stressed out all of a sudden. He just had one more commitment, and then he could go home. He just needed to get through a few more hours. Just a few. He could do that.

-

No he couldn’t. He thought he could, but Peter couldn’t, so neither could he. Peter was ok for a little bit. He sat on Tony’s lap in the meeting, playing with his rocket quite happily, but it didn’t last long. He started squirming and whining, and then he started interrupting, telling Tony he was bored and asking when they could go home. He didn’t take kindly to be shushed, either. 

Pepper leant over to him. “Do you want me to take him for a bit?”

Tony nodded, and handed Peter over. Peter went quiet for a little longer. He liked Pepper, and she gave him her little notebook and pencil so he could draw. He spent a while scribbling, and could have continued quite happily had his stomach not reminded him that it was way past lunch time already. 

“Daddy?” he said.

Tony glanced at him for half a second, but he didn’t pause in his statement. Peter whined, and looked up at Pepper. 

“Daddy’s busy”

“Yes, he is” Pepper said gently. 

Peter went quiet for a moment, looking round the room at everyone. He didn’t want to be in this meeting. He wanted to go home, and more importantly, he wanted something to eat. His tummy was starting to hurt. He started whimpering. Pepper shushed him and cuddled him close, but it didn’t help much. 

“Daddy!”

“Not now, Peter” Tony sighed, going back to the meeting. 

Peter squirmed in Pepper’s lap, and dropped his rocket on the floor. The man beside Pepper picked it up and tried to give it back to him, but he wouldn’t take it.

“What’s up, little guy?” 

Peter ignored him. Pepper took the rocket from the man and held Peter a little tighter.

“Shh, darling” Pepper sighed, wondering if she should abandon the meeting and take Peter outside.

Peter started squirming more. His tummy was really starting to hurt, and he soon started crying properly.

“DADDY!” he howled. “DADDY, I’M HUNGRY! MY TUMMY HURTS!!”

Tony closed his eyes for a moment and then stood up. 

“This is going to have to wait. I’ll send an email out later” he said.

He took Peter and his rocket from Pepper.

“Mr Stark, we really need your input here. You can’t just abandon the meeting half way through” one man said.

“Is that so? Just watch me” 

He grabbed his briefcase, and swept out of the boardroom.

-

Pepper caught up to Tony at his car.

“Tony!”

Tony stopped, turning to her. “Don’t start; you know I couldn’t stay in there”

“Of course I know that. I’m not that unreasonable” Pepper said. “I just wanted to check how you were. We haven’t had a chance to talk properly for a couple of weeks now”

Tony strapped Peter into his car seat and closed the door, muffling the boys cries. 

“He’s not happy today”

“I can see that. Is he just hungry?”

Tony shrugged. “I don’t know. He’s been a bit funny all day. I think he’s a bit bored. I don’t think he liked the office visit much. He’s just fed up”

“What about you? Are you fed up?”

“Yes” Tony said, and then sighed. “No. I don’t know. A bit, I think. It’s been six weeks, Pep. It feels like so much longer. It kinda feels like it could go on forever”

“I’m coming round tonight”

“What? Oh Pep, Loki’s at work, I’ve been out today, the kids being funny… It just doesn’t sound like a great idea”

“I’d be acting funny too if I hadn’t had my lunch by 3pm” Pepper said, glancing at her watch. “I’ll see you at six”

*


	21. So You're Blue

-

“For gods sake, Peter! Why do you have to be so flippin’ loud?!”

“I’m hungry!” Peter howled, tears streaming down his cheeks. “My tummy hurts!”

“Yeah, well, you can see I’m trying to make you something, but I can’t get on very well with you screaming like that!” Tony hissed. “Put a sock in it!”

Peter continued to shout and squeak. Tony put down the butter knife, trying to breathe evenly. He tried to stay calm, but it wasn’t easy. His heart was thudding, and Peter just seemed to be getting louder.

“Peter! Would you please just  _ **SHUT UP**_!” Tony shouted, grabbing the boy by the shoulders. “Shut up! You’re doing my head in!”

Peter went quiet in shock for a moment, and then started shrieking even louder than before. Tony stepped back, shaking, his hand twitching. He couldn’t do this. Why couldn’t the kid just shut up for five minutes? This was too much. He just-

The front door opened. Tony rushed down to the foyer, going so fast he couldn’t avoid banging straight into Loki.

“I didn’t know you were gonna be back this early” Tony said shakily, leaning on his chest.

“I’m sorry; I didn’t think to mention it” Loki looked at him, touching his face gently. “Are you ok? What’s up with Peter? I can hear him squeaking”

“C-can you go and sort him out? I can’t, I just- I can’t, I need some air. I’m going for a walk” he pushed past Loki, opening the front door.

“Tony! You’re not wearing any shoes”

“I’m a celebrity; it doesn’t matter” he said, closing the door behind him.

Loki sighed, slinging his work bag over the banister and heading upstairs to the kitchen.

“Hello, you” he said, picking Peter up and giving him a cuddle. “Shh, it’s ok! What’s the matter?”

Peter was crying too hard to reply. Loki looked round the kitchen, spotting the sandwich Tony had started making.

“It’s a bit late for lunch, isn’t it, sweetie?” he sighed, putting Peter back in his seat at the breakfast bar. “Hold on just a minute, my love”

Peter calmed down as soon as Loki put the plate down in front of him. He was still shaking a little as he started to eat, but he wasn’t really crying any more. Loki breathed out, relieved. He filled one of Peter’s sippy cups with juice, and set it down beside his plate.

“There we are, darling. Good boy…”

-

Tony seemed a bit calmer when he got back an hour later.

“Have you really just gone on an hours walk without any shoes?”

“Well, I spent half an hour sat having a coffee, so”

“Right”

“Where’s the kid?”

“He’s in the living room” Loki said. “Are you going to join us?”

Tony nodded and followed him. Peter was sat on the floor playing with his plastic dinosaurs and train set. Tony sat down heavily on the sofa, flopping against Loki when he sat beside him. Loki put an arm round his shoulders, holding him close.

“You’re still in your scrubs”

“Yes, well, I haven’t had time to leave Peter since getting back, and Jo Jo spilt coffee all over my civvies at the end of the shift”

“What? How did he manage that?”

“He’s an idiot, that’s how” Loki said. “He said he was sorry, but I still smacked him over the head with a clipboard”

Tony laughed slightly. “Ouch. Poor Jo Jo”

“Poor me, who now has to wash coffee stains out of my clothes” Loki said. “Jo Jo said he’ll bring me some stuff for my locker as an apology on my next shift, so as least I get something out of his mistake”

“I should hope so, too… It’s half four”

“Yes”

“I should start thinking about tea”

“I can cook tonight, if you like”

Tony stayed quiet. 

“Tony? What’s the matter?”

“I’m just sad”

Loki held him tighter and kissed the top of his head. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“…I want my son back”

“Oh, Tony” Loki sighed. “Please don’t start that again. We’ve been through this”

“I’m fed up. It’s been too long”

“There’s nothing we can do about that: we just have to wait. You know that”

Tony watched Peter. The toddler was too involved in his game to pay any attention to his parents. He’d abandoned the train set and was playing solely with his dinosaurs, making them talk to each other is funny little voices.

“Remember that first Christmas after the adoption, when he kept playing with your nativity and getting into trouble for it?” 

“That nativity cost a fortune” Loki said. “I kept telling him it wasn’t a toy”

“It was so cute though; walking into the room and finding him knelt by that table playing a proper little game”

Loki didn’t say anything. He didn’t see what Tony was getting at. 

“…Pepper’s coming round tonight” 

“What? Tony, why didn’t you say earlier?”

Tony shrugged. “What do you want for tea?”

Loki sighed heavily and stood up. “I don’t know. I’m going to go and get changed. You can decide”

“Wait, Loki-”

“What?”

“Should I wait until Pepper gets here?”

“Oh Tony, I don’t know” Loki sighed. “What time is she coming?”

“She said she’d get here at six”

“Well, cook so it’s ready for six then”

“Ok. Um, how long are you gonna be?”

“Tony, for gods sake” Loki scowled. “I’m going for a bath”

“You said you were getting changed!”

“Am I not allowed a bath now?” 

“I just think that-”

“Daddy, daddy!” Peter clamoured, grabbing at Loki’s trouser leg. 

Loki looked down at him. “What’s up, darling?”

“Where’s my rocket?”

“I don’t know, darling” Loki said. “Ask other daddy”

-

Tony found Peter’s rocket, and the boy settled quite happily, which was a huge relief for Tony, who didn’t especially want to be around him at the moment. Loki seemed to be taking his time in the bath, and Tony got impatient. After a while, he stood up, accidentally treading on Peter’s rocket as he did so. 

“HEY!”

“Oi, don’t shout at me!” Tony snapped. 

“You stood on my rocket!”

“It was an accident, idiot”

Peter looked at him, mouth open. “Daddy said it’s rude to call people that word”

“Don’t try to preach to me”

“Where are you going?”

“What do you mean; where am I going?”

“You’re up”

Tony sighed heavily, picking him up. “You’re coming too”

-

Loki lowered his crossword book and scowled when someone knocked on the door. He glared at Tony as he came into the bathroom.

“What?”

“How long are you going to be?”

“I don’t know”

“Well, I need your help with the kid”

Loki looked at Peter. “He seems fine to me. Go away”

“What, so you’re gonna spend all night in the bath?”

“It’s been twenty minutes, Tony! Can I not have a few minutes to myself at the end of a long day?”

“Well, I’ve gotta cook, so you need to look after the kid”

“You’re perfectly capable of doing both. It’s not like you’ve never done it before. Leave me alone”

“Loki, please” Tony said. “I need a hand”

“And I need some peace and quiet. You’re fine” he said, going back to his crossword. 

Tony snatched the book from him. “Loki”

“For fucks sake, Tony!”

Peter blinked. “Is that a bad word?”

“Yes, and I’m a very naughty daddy” Loki said, snatching his book back from Tony. “Now leave me alone”

Tony scowled, put Peter down, and stalked off.

“Tony! Oi, Tony!” Loki sighed irritably.

Peter stood on the bathroom mat, unsure what to do. He looked at Loki.

“Follow daddy” Loki said. 

Peter nodded and rushed off. Loki breathed out, reaching over and closing and locking the bathroom door. At least Peter was being reasonable. Maybe, if he was lucky, he’d be able to finish his bath in peace.

-

Tony looked down at Peter.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m following!” Peter grinned. 

“Right. Well, stay out of the way of the oven” Tony said. 

Peter nodded. He turned and started jumping between the kitchen tiles, clutching his rocket in his arms and humming to himself. Tony checked the time, and sighed. He should probably start cooking. Pepper would be here within the hour.

-

Tony burst into tears as soon as he saw Pepper.

“Tony? Hey, what’s the matter?” 

“I can’t do this-!”

“Hey” Pepper held him close, kicking the front door closed behind her. “It’s ok. Whatever it is, we can sort it”

-

Tony was uncharacteristically quiet at dinner. Loki and Pepper kept up their ends of the conversation, and Peter tried to join in, although he didn’t always understand what they were talking about. Still, Pepper made a fuss of him, and Loki let him have a little bit of fizzy orange in his sippy cup, which he thoroughly enjoyed.

Peter started yawning and whining after tea, rubbing his eyes and leaning against Loki.

“I don’t suppose he had a nap this afternoon, did he?”

Tony shook his head.

“Well, I think a slightly earlier night is probably a good idea” Loki said. “Come on darling; bedtime”

“But Auntie Pepper’s here!”

“I’ll come and see you again another time” Pepper said. “Be good for your daddy”

Peter yawned, his eyes watering. “Bedtime?”

Pepper nodded. “Bedtime”

Peter looked at Loki.

“Say goodnight, chick”

Peter held his arms out to Pepper, who stood up and lifted him into her arms, giving him a cuddle. 

“Goodnight, Peter”

She tried to pass him over to Tony. Tony paused, and then gave Peter a little kiss on the cheek.

“Goodnight, chick”

Loki took Peter from Pepper, kissing his cheek. 

“Come on, baby. Sleepy time”

-

Pepper leant back against the counter, watching Tony finishing the washing up.

“You’re trying to avoid talking, aren’t you?”

“I’m just washing up”

“Only so you don’t have to look at me”

Tony sighed, draining the sink and drying his hands. 

“We’ll go down to the lab. It’s more private down there”

-

Pepper held Tony’s hand while he cried. When he eventually started to quieten, she put an arm round his shoulders, and he rested his head on her chest.

“…I thought I was doing ok” he said thickly. “But after today, I’ve realised that I’m not”

“You just had an off day” Pepper said. “That’s all. You’ve done great so far”

“I forgot to feed him, Pep! How the hell do I forget something like that?!”

“You forget to feed yourself plenty” Pepper said.

“Yeah, but that’s different! I’m supposed to look after that little kid! I’m such an idiot. I can’t believe I forgot to feed him! No wonder he got upset”

“You’re not the first person to forget something like that. In fact, it’s not even the first time  _you’ve_ forgotten it”

Tony looked at her. “What do you mean?”

“Remember that time Peter didn’t have time to have breakfast, and you brought him along for a full event day and conference, he didn’t have lunch, and by the time you got to the final presentation of the day, he was so hungry that he was sick?”

Tony stopped. He’d completely forgotten about it. Poor Peter. He’d been so good all day that day, not uttering a single complaint. He didn’t try to bring Tony’s attention to his hunger as he didn’t want to get in the way, or spoil or interrupt anything. He lasted quite well, considering, but just before they’d gone in for the final presentation at 8pm, he’d suddenly starting coughing, and then he’d thrown up. It soon came to light that he hadn’t eaten, and Tony had been absolutely horrified. 

“You felt awful” Pepper said. “But it was just a mistake. You’ve made mistakes before, and you’ll make them in the future. Don’t they say that that’s a big part of being a parent?”

“It doesn’t make it any easier” 

“Tony, listen. You’re doing well. You’re a good dad, no matter how you look at it”

“I want my little boy back” 

“You’ve still got your little boy” Pepper said. “We’ve talked about this. Your son hasn’t gone away: he’s just turned into a toddler. It’s weird, but it’s not like it’s forever”

“It feels like it is” Tony said. “I really thought it was only gonna be a couple of weeks. Thor doesn’t even keep in touch properly. When I see him, I ask where they are with the reversal gun, and he always just says; ‘no real progress’. How long is this gonna go on for? Another six weeks? Six  _months_? Longer? I don’t know how I’m supposed to do this. It just keeps going wrong. It’s like one minute everything’s going great and I’m like, this is fine, this is gonna be fine and I can do this, but then the next minute it’s a total nightmare and everything is hard and horrible and scary I can’t do it… I miss my teenage son so much-!”

Pepper held him tighter, resting a hand on his face. “Oh Tony”

“It doesn’t make any sense! I’m sick of this. I never should’ve let Peter get involved that day. I should have kept him well out of the way” he pulled away, looking Pepper in the face. “Why am I like this? Loki is coping so much better than I am. He’s just always doing so much better than me. He’s not all over the place anywhere near as much as I am. He just… He just seems to have adjusted so well to this, whereas I’m just-… It’s so hard”

“He’s just putting on a brave face. This is hard for him too, you know that. You need to talk to him more”

“We have been talking. Just, uh, well… Oh god, my throat’s all seized up. Like, I know what I want to say, but I can’t think of the words, and when I can, they just get caught in my throat”

“Have you talked to anyone else about this? On a professional level?”

“You mean like a therapist?” Tony shook his head. “How is anyone supposed to understand what this is like? This is the most ridiculous, impossible situation, and yet here we are! My son was turned into a toddler. How the hell is anyone supposed to understand that? We’re living it and we don’t understand it. I’m not talking to a therapist about it”

“Then talk to Loki more. No one is going to understand better than him. You should focus on the good days. Like you did last time we talked”

“…I miss talking to him”

“Loki?”

“Peter”

“You still talk to little Peter though, don’t you?”

“Yeah, but it’s not the same” Tony sighed, scrubbing his eyes with his fist. “Little Peter is just a baby. He talks about different things. Mainly his little games and just his version of life. He’s cute, and he’s funny, but it’s different… He can’t really come to me with his problems, because he doesn’t really  _have_ any”

“That’s a good thing, surely? He’s a happy toddler”

“I know. But I miss my baby. We always spent so much time together, talking and stuff. He was always crawling onto my lap to talk to me when he was upset or whatever. I miss having those long nights cuddled up talking to him, all those deep conversations and those times we laughed so much our stomach hurts” Tony laughed slightly. “Did I ever tell you about the time I made him laugh so hard he was sick out of his nose?”

Pepper smiled slightly. “Yes, you told me about that. You two are so ridiculously similar. You make me laugh, the way you interact and the things you say. He’s far sweeter than you, though”

“Only when he wants to be” Tony took his phone out to check the time, and stopped, looking at his lock screen. He titled it towards Pepper. “Look”

Pepper smiled slightly. Sadly. “Loki’s changed his lock screen…”

“I know. I thought I should too, so I don’t keep getting reminded, but I just couldn’t do it. I’ve had this picture as my lock screen for so long. It’d be weird having anything else”

“It’s an old picture” Pepper said. “It’s from when you went on holiday the year you and Loki got engaged, isn’t it?”

Tony nodded. “He was so excited for that entire trip. Well, he had a few little sulky moods, but generally… We had such a good time. He was so funny…” he paused, looking at the photo. “I don’t think he’ll ever be as sunny and bright and bubbly as he was back then. But sometimes he gets real close”

“He’s come a long way since the explosion”

“Yeah, he’s done so well, despite everything”

“I remember the first time I saw him after the accident” Pepper said. “He was just lying there. He had cuts all over his face, and he was so pale. His eyes wouldn’t focus on me”

“He was miles away for a pretty long time. It was like… His body was there, but his mind just wasn’t. He couldn’t take care of himself… You know, sometimes me and Loki talk about the way he was back then, and it just feels really odd to think about, because even though we know it happened, it feels like it didn’t. Do you know what I mean?”

“Do you mean it feels strange to think about because you’ve come so far, that it’s hard to believe how bad things got?”

Tony nodded. “You’re better at articulating my thoughts than I am”

“You’ll get him back” 

Tony looked down, and swallowed. “I hope so”

“You will” Pepper said, holding him close. “You just have to hang on a little while longer”

*


	22. Old Friends

-

“The last few months feel like they’ve gone on for years” Tony said one quiet evening.

Loki looked up from his book, and sighed. “I know what you mean”

“Your brother hasn’t been in touch for ages”

“I know. He said he was giving us false hope by coming back so regularly”

“What’s taking them so long? Was Kindsprengen really from somewhere so complicated that they can’t figure out his gun?”

“Maybe. I haven’t really been thinking about it. Not to that extent. I just think they’re bound to find a reversal eventually. There’s nothing we can do to change things, or speed them along”

Tony sighed. “I know. Just it’s been three months, and I didn’t think it would even be as long as three  _weeks_ ”

“I know darling, I know” 

“Wait, Loki? Where’s the kid?”

Loki looked over to where Peter had been a few minutes earlier.

“Oh” he said. “Peter!”

There was no response. They heard something, and looked at each other.

“Was that the front door?”

“It can’t be Peter; there’s a seal at the top of the stairs” Loki said, standing up. “I’m going to go and have a look”

“MUMMA!” 

Loki and Tony looked at each other and rushed out to the corridor, where they found Peter in Carol’s arms.

“Carol! Wh-what are you doing here?!”

Carol smiled at him. “I had a bit of free time, so I thought I’d stop by. I’ve gotta say, I didn’t expect him to still be tiny”

“I’m not tiny!” Peter said, pouting. “I’m big!”

Carol kissed him on the nose. “Alright baby, you’re big”

“How long are you gonna be around for?” Tony asked, coming over and taking Peter from her, tickling his tummy.

“Hey! Daddy!”

“I’ll be around for a bit” Carol said, touching Peter’s cheek gently. “So, how are you doing?”

“Why don’t we go and grab a drink?” Tony said quickly. “Then we’ll talk”

-

Carol sat at the breakfast bar, bouncing Peter on her knee. 

“Hey baby, I’ve got something for you” she said, handing him a marshmallow lollipop.

“Oh! Thank you!” Peter grinned, taking the lolly and pulling the wrapper off.

For once, Tony chose not to complain about it. He sat a mug down in front of Carol, and then sat down on the other side of the table with Loki. 

“So” Carol said, stroking Peter’s hair. “He’s still a toddler”

“Yeah” Tony said. “They haven’t managed to make the reversal yet”

“Must be something more complex than any of us expected” Carol said. “How are you finding it with this one, then?”

“I think he’s great” Loki said. “He’s so sweet and funny and happy. He’s fun to have around. We’ve settled into a routine now, and we know what we’re doing, so it feels quite natural now”

Carol looked at Tony. “How about you?”

Tony looked at Peter, who was happily gumming his marshmallow.

“Well, it’s much easier than it was” he said. “I love the little thing. Loki’s right; he’s a funny little thing. It’s been quite fun at times, but I’m still gonna be relieved when the reversal is ready”

Carol nodded, and looked down at Peter. “What about you, baby? How are you doing?”

“I fell in the pond at the park!”

“Did you? When was that?”

“Um. Last week, I think. Last week..? I scared the ducks!”

“You scared  _me_  too!” Tony said. “He went all the way under, you know. Poor thing”

“He thought it was hilarious” Loki said. “After he’d gotten over the initial shock, anyway. You should have seen him! Screaming with laughter, he was. It wasn’t the reaction I expected. He toppled in so heavily”

“I wasn’t allowed to go on the swings” Peter pouted. 

“You were soaked through, chick” Tony said. 

“It just had to happen on the one day that I didn’t bring a change of clothes” Loki sighed, shaking his head.

Carol laughed. “Sods law. Were you hurt, little guy?”

Peter shook his head. “I dropped my ice cream”

“Oh dear! That sounds like you had a bit of rubbish day”

“He laughed about it pretty quickly, especially when he realised his rocket hadn’t succumbed to the water” Loki said. “Still, we had to take him home and put him straight in the bath. All that filthy water… I think the other parents round the pond were more scared than he was”

“Bless him. How have the press been?”

“My press manager has been surprisingly good” Tony said. “So we haven’t had too much hassle. People do keep trying to get us to meet up with other people affected by Kindsprengen though”

“I’m guessing that’s not an idea you’re on board with?”

“Nah, I’d rather just get on with it as a family. We’re fine just being the three of us. Most of the time, anyway. Still get a bit of help from friends and stuff sometimes. We don’t need to meet the other de-aged kids”

“Some of them _have_  met up with each other though” Loki said. “Some people at the hospital showed me a few articles in some tat-mags, and apparently there was a documentary the other week. I didn’t watch it though”

“Can’t say I blame you. I don’t think I would have watched it. I might have read the articles though”

“Tragically, Loki doesn’t allow tat-mags in the house, otherwise I’d probably have some to show you” Tony said. “You could always look online. I read a few of them”

Loki looked at him. “You did?”

“Yeah, it was interesting. It’s all the same kind of thing. Like, them not having memory memories, but remembering their likes and dislikes, and some people. There’s this one kid who knows their mum, but not their step-dad. How weird is that?”

“How long had they been together?” Carol asked.

“About five years, apparently. That’s still a bit weird”

“Yeah, but Peter doesn’t remember May” Loki said. “Or Liz. Maybe it’s just a bit of a pick-and-choose oddity”

Peter looked up at Carol. “Daddy said I can have a garden”

“A garden? Really? That sounds… lovely”

“It’s just an idea” Tony said.

“It’s a stupid idea. How are we supposed to have a garden? If this house was made with a garden, fine, but it wasn’t” Loki said. “There’s no provision for it!”

“Wait, how did this come about?”

“Well, yesterday when we were out, he kept asking for one of those kids climbing frames they have displayed in toy shops” Tony said. “And I said no because we don’t have a garden, and he asked for a garden, and I was like, uhh, no. But then I started thinking about it, and I thought it’d be a cool project, making a garden”

“I admire your ambition, but you can’t really have grass inside, can you? Don’t you need specially adapted spaces for indoor gardens? And aren’t they basically just greenhouses?”

“I was thinking of using one of the balconies, actually”

“Not my balcony!” Loki said.

“No! No, one of the other ones, the ones we don’t really use” Tony said. “I started drawing up some plans last night. Peter gave me some input, didn’t you, chick?”

“Yep! We’re gonna get one of them big benches that swings! AND we’re gonna have a little pond!”

“No, sweetheart, I never said a pond” Tony said. “Especially after you fell into the one at the park! Maybe a water feature”

“So what are you gonna do? Make a huge soil bed to stick grass on?”

“Maybe. I’ll show you my plans if you like” Tony said, standing up. “I left them in the other room”

Carol shook her head fondly as Tony went off. “He’s having one of his creative spurts”

“Hm, maybe” Loki said. “Our balconies are big, but I think making a full garden is a bit too ambitious. I just don’t think it would work”

“Well, I don’t see how you could do it either” Carol said. “Maybe just something that  _looks_ like a garden, then?”

“I’ll humour him” Loki said. “I just don’t want him doing something stupid. You can’t really make a garden on a balcony, especially not one that would support a big play area thing with swings”

“Wouldn’t it be a bit of a waste?” Carol said gently. “I mean, he’s not gonna be like this forever. What are you gonna do with a kids play area dealie when he’s big again?”

Loki didn’t say anything. Luckily, Tony came back into the room at that moment, shuffling some papers.

“Here, look at these. I’ve drawn the grass in, but I’m not sure how it’d work yet” 

Carol looked at his carefully drawn plans. Peter put his lolly stick down and pointed to bits of the drawing.

“This bit is all big plants! And this bit goes against the glassy bit. Daddy said it’s safer that way” he said. “This is the swinging bench! Daddy said we can get a slide too, that’s what this is! It’s a, um… daddy, what is it?”

“It’s a novelty slide”

“Yes!” Peter grinned. “Oh, oh! Daddy, water!”

“Water?” Tony said. “Oh, are you thirsty?”

“Water! Water!” 

Peter scurried down from Carol’s lap, running over to the sink and pointing.

“Water, water, water!”

“Ooh, you wanna play, don’t you?” Tony smiled, getting up.

Carol watched while Tony filled the washing up bowl and set it on the floor. She watched him handing the toddler some plastic cups and little rubber bath toys. Tony knelt on the floor, rolling Peter’s sleeves up to stop them from getting too wet. 

“It looks like you’re doing well” she said to Loki. 

“Yes, well, it took some getting used to” Loki said. “Tony was rubbish the first week, but then he stepped up. He’s had a few rocky days, but ultimately, he’s been great”

“He’s such a dad. He looks so comfortable with him even now he’s a toddler”

“He’s cute” Loki said. “…Peter’s gotten really into water lately. I thought about getting him one of those big water troughs, but Tony said no”

“That makes sense. Have you considered what you’re gonna do with all this kids stuff after he’s been zapped back to normal?”

“Not really” Loki said vaguely, looking back at Peter and Tony. “He ends up spending ages in the bath now, since he’s got so many bath toys. He loves those little water mills”

“Have you taken him swimming? He might enjoy that”

“Oh yeah, he loves it! We’ve taken him a handful of times. He adores it, especially this little slide they have there in the shape of a whale”

“That’s cute. What about you, though? You never go swimming”

“Well, with the baby, we’re just in the baby pool and the shallow end, and I’m fine with that. Tony takes him into the deeper parts a little bit, but not much. Peter likes being able to splash around”

“Nice. So, you’re doing well?”

Loki nodded. “I’m enjoying it, if I’m honest. He’s a lot of fun, and it makes it a lot easier to deal with the whole situation”

“So you’ve not got any idea how long he’s gonna be like this?”

“No. Thor said he’ll let us know about any progress on the reversal as soon as he knows” 

“Something must have happened to slow their progress. How long has it been now? Three months?”

“To the day” Loki nodded. 

Carol sighed, looking at Peter. Tony was squirting water at him with a little toy frog, and Peter was laughing like it was the funniest thing ever.

“He looks happy” she said. “But he deserves to be given his life back”

Loki looked at her. “Isn’t happiness more important?”

Carol looked at him. “He won’t be like this forever. Regular Peter might have been through some horrible stuff, but he still has a good life. He has a family, and good friends. He’s a superhero. Secretly, yeah, but still. He deserves to have that life back. Even if he’s a toddler now who can’t remember anything from before he got zapped, he still has the same past. You’re never going to be able to change that”

“If it’s a past he’s forgotten, why would we need to?”

“You’re thinking dangerously, Loki” she said. “As soon as that reversal is done, Thor’s gonna come here first. He’ll zap Peter back to normal, and then he’ll go and zap all the other kids back to normal. This was always a temporary thing. As soon as that guy popped up, you all started talking of a way to reverse the effects, isn’t that what you said?”

“Well, yes, but-”

“But nothing. You knew how it had to go even before Peter got hit. Do you really think all those kids are better off now? I’ve heard bits about this, Loki. The first one to get zapped was like, four months ago, right? They’re exactly the same as the day they got zapped. So there’s a chance they’ll be stuck as toddlers forever if they don’t get that reversal gun. Is that better than giving them their lives back?”

“I don’t care about the other kids: I care about Peter”

“Stop talking mad, then” Carol said. “You’re allowed to enjoy the toddler version, but you’re not allowed to contemplate keeping it this way forever. It’s not gonna happen”

“I know that” Loki nearly snapped. “I never outright said to you that we should keep him this way;- that was just your assumption. You’re putting words in my mouth”

“I’m taking them from your mind”

“Mumma, mumma!” Peter called. 

Carol stood up and went over to him. “What’cha doing over here, baby?”

“You can make the water bubble!” he said. “Make it bubble!”

“I’ll make it bubble, but only if you promise not to touch”

“Promise!”

Tony smiled at Peter’s fascination and amazement at the bubbling of the boiling water when Carol heated it. He was a little impressed himself. Carol’s glowing hands weren’t something he’d had the pleasure of seeing in action very often. 

“You know, if you’ve got some free time, maybe you could stay the night and come out with us tomorrow” he suggested.

“I’m up for staying the night. What are you doing tomorrow?”

“We haven’t really decided yet. If the weather is good, we were thinking about this outdoor splash pad thing. It’s like a big water-based play area. If the weathers not so good, well, I’m not sure. Maybe just something boring like going out for lunch and then going shopping”

“Getting stuff for your garden project?”

“Maybe. I kinda wanted to go to a garden centre anyway. We did up May’s grave recently, and I wanted to see if I could find another nice statue or one of those little coloured lanterns for her. Garden centres are gonna have ones that’ll last outside, more than normal shops”

“Was she into that kinda stuff? Like, gnomes?”

“God no; she hated gnomes. Peter once hid one in her bed so when she pulled back the covers she got the fright of her life. Peter said it’s the only time he can remember May properly hitting him” Tony smiled slightly. “I don’t know why gnomes freaked her out. She always hated that one Loki used to have by the front door”

“Oh yeah. What happened to that?”

“Peter smashed it in a fit of rage after May died” Loki said, draining his mug. “Somehow I never got round to getting another one”

“Huh” Carol lowered her hand, letting the water go still again.

“Oh!” Peter said. “It’s stopped bubbling!”

“Yeah, but it’ll still be hot, so you can’t touch” Carol said, picking him up and giving him a cuddle. “What time do you go to bed, baby?”

“Usually around midnight” Peter said, very matter-o’-fact. 

“He’s lying” Tony said unnecessarily. “He goes at eight. I guess he can stay up a bit later tonight, since you’re here”

“Aww, that’ll be fun” Carol said. “I’ll read you some stories if you like, baby”

“Ah, maybe don’t suggest that” Loki said. “He’s really into his reading right now, and he won’t let us read to him: he has to read to us”

“Ooh, you can read?”

“Yep! Daddy taught me!” Peter grinned. “I get stuck on the really big words though”

“I’ll help you along. Do you wanna read? Or do you wanna do something else?”

Peter thought for a moment. “I want hot chocolate!”

Carol laughed. “Better ask your dads”

Peter blinked at her, and then looked at Tony. “Hot chocolate?”

Tony smiled. “Sure thing kiddo. Just give me five minutes”

-

Peter decided he didn’t want to read after having his hot chocolate. Instead, he wanted to show Carol all of his toys. He had a lot, so this was quite a time consuming venture. Tony and Loki left him to it for a while, and Peter may have got through everything - if he didn’t feel the need to explain every single toy in detail to Carol. His enthusiasm may have been endearing, but it certainly ate into the evening too.

“Bambino” Tony said at quarter to nine. “I think it’s time to go to bed”

“No!” Peter protested. “I haven’t finished!”

“You can show mumma the rest of your things tomorrow. It’s already past your usual bed time” 

Peter looked at Loki for help. “I can stay up, can’t I?”

“You’ve already stayed up, chick” Loki said. “It’s time to put your toys away and let us take you to bed”

Peter looked at Carol. “I can stay up?”

“No, I think it’s definitely bedtime now” Carol said. “We’ll tidy up your toys, and then you’ll go to bed”

Peter pouted. “I don’t want to”

“You still gotta go”

“Can you take me?”

“Sure, I can take you” she said, looking at Tony for permission. “But first you need to tidy your toys”

Peter nodded and started throwing his toys back into their boxes.

“Careful!” Loki said. “You’ll break something if you throw them about like that”

Peter looked at him, and then started putting his toys away in a much more gentle fashion. Carol gave him a hand, and once everything was away, she gave him a little squeeze.

“Good boy. Are you gonna say goodnight?”

Peter nodded and ran over to Loki and Tony, who lifted him up and gave him a  big hug.

“Goodnight, darling” Loki said. “See you in the morning”

“Night, chick” Tony said. “Be good for mumma, ok?”

“I will!” Peter said. “Love you, daddies!”

“We love you too”

-

Peter happily trotted along to his room with Carol, thrilled to be seeing her again after so long. He decided he had to be good as gold, and he went straight to his en suite, climbed up onto his little stepping stool, and grabbed his toothbrush.

“You know exactly what you’re doing, don’t you, baby?”

Peter did his teeth and then let Carol wash his face and help him into his pyjamas. 

“You’re so good, you know” she said.

“I try” Peter grinned. 

“You ready to get into bed?”

“No! I need a wee!”

“Ok, ok. I’ll go and sort your bed out then” Carol said, taking his rocket and leaving him to it.

It felt a little odd, seeing Peter’s room filled with all this little-boy, toddler-sized stuff. Most of regular Peter’s stuff was still there, like his elephant and his shelf of trophies and his little collection of Steiff toys. But other stuff had obviously been put away for safekeeping, like his school things and his workshop things and his laptop. The photo of May and Peter that had been on the bedside table for so long had been moved. Carol understood why, but it was still weird seeing it was missing - it made the bedside table look bare. 

“Mumma?” Peter said, coming out of the en suite. “Are you gonna be here tomorrow?”

“Yeah, I’m staying over” Carol said.

“Are we going out?”

“I’m not sure yet. I think your dads were thinking of taking you out”

“Oh!” Peter said, climbing up onto his bed. “You too?”

“Yeah, me too” she smiled. “Do you wanna read a story before you go to sleep?”

Peter shook his head. “Tell me one of  _your_ stories!”

Carol laughed. “Sure, but you gotta lay down first”

Peter flopped down onto his back, hugging his rocket close. Carol sat on the bed with him. 

“Ok, I’ll tell you something that happened a few weeks ago. So, there I was, minding my own business, when suddenly, out of nowhere-”

-

Loki and Tony looked up when Carol rejoined them in the living room.

“Is he asleep?” Tony asked.

“Yep” Carol sat down beside Loki. “He’s a good kid. He’s excited about going out tomorrow, even though I told him I don’t know where we’re going”

“I think we should go swimming again” Loki said. “He enjoys it so much”

“Well, I’ve been looking at the weather forecast, and it’s supposed to be pretty hot tomorrow” Tony said. “We don’t wanna go to the main pool and waste the hot weather by being inside”

“Didn’t you say something about an outdoor splash pad thing?” Carol said.

“Yeah, but there’s also an outdoor paddling pool in this other park” Tony said. “There’s not really any pictures of it online, but it sounds like it could be a good thing. Just a basic pool, apparently with a kiosk nearby, so we could have an ice cream or something too”

“What if it’s busy?” Loki said. “It might be a bit much, having three of us with the toddler”

“It’s probably not gonna be too busy. People go to the coast and theme parks and stuff when it’s hot.  _Those_ are the places that are gonna be crowded” Tony said. “We could go earlier too. Then go for lunch afterwards? And the garden centre. Like I said; there’s some stuff I need”

Loki looked at Carol. “What do you think?”

“I don’t mind, but I don’t have a swim suit”

“We’ve got some here you could use” Tony said. “Peter’s friends have kinda got a drawer full of swim stuff here for some reason”

“Ok, but somehow I don’t think a fifteen year olds bikini will fit me”

“You’re not exactly huge, Cap” Tony said. “I’m sure Millie’s stuff will fit. She’s a bit fat”

“Millie isn’t fat!” Loki said. “She’s just a bit chunky”

“She’s bigger than the other two. She wears bigger sizes. You could always go and see”

“You’d wake Peter up, rifling around in his room for the swim stuff” Loki said. “Maybe we’d better think of something else to do tomorrow”

“I’ll have a brain storm over night” Tony said. “We’ll see what we can come up with. Any suggestions?”

“Hey, I’m easy” Carol smiled. “Now, do you mind if I raid your kitchen?”

Tony laughed and passed her his phone. “Order a takeaway. Loki and I were gonna get something in anyway. May as well feed you too”

*


	23. Double-Cross

-

After a long discussion largely considering of; “I don’t know, what do you want to do?”, they decided on the outdoor paddling pool. Tony was right about Millie’s swimwear, as Carol hunted through the drawer and found a good handful of swim costumes that fit her. Tony gave Loki a triumphant look, and Carol told them not to be stupid, and that discussing a teenage girls weight was just a little bit weird. She chose a plain navy blue bikini, deciding it was the best option for taking little Peter swimming. 

Carol sat with Peter in the back of the car on the way to the park. Peter grinned and babbled away at her, happy to have the company.

“So, with you guys being famous, do you get people crowding you when you go and do stuff like this?” Carol asked as they parked up at the park. 

“Well, sometimes” Tony said. “But sometimes they just leave us alone. Especially if Loki gives them his death glare”

“I only have to resort to that if they start upsetting Peter or getting stupid” Loki said. “Fortunately, it doesn’t happen too often. At least, not so much anymore”

“I see” Carol said, unstrapping Peter from his car seat and lifting him into his arms. “Don’t you think you should leave your rocket in the car, trouble? It’s not exactly waterproof”

“I wanna bring rocket with me!” Peter pouted.

“He can sit and guard the towels” Loki said, throwing his bag over his shoulder. “That’s what he generally does”

“Ok, if you say so” Carol said, shutting the car door. “Hold on, where do we get changed?”

“There’s like, changing facilities by the pool” Tony said. “You don’t have to worry about your dignity”

“Well that’s good, because you haven’t got any to speak of”

Loki laughed. “She’s got you there”

“Daddy?”

“Yes, darling?”

“Where are we going?”

“We’re going swimming, remember? There’s a paddling pool down in this park. Don’t look so worried” Tony smiled and pinched the boys cheek. “It’ll be fun”

-

For the most part, they did have fun. However, Tony got cross at Loki for staring at Carol in her bikini - although he found it hard not to stare as well, so Loki got cross at him in return. Carol just laughed at them and told them to remember that all three of them were off the market. Peter had no idea what they were talking about, so he just ignored him and carried on splashing. 

There was a big iceberg-style platform in the middle of the paddling pool, and Peter had great fun climbing on it and pretending to be a seal, clapping his hands and barking. Carol enjoyed letting her hair down and getting to know toddler Peter. And, although she’d never admit it, Loki looked damn good in swim shorts.

-

Once Peter was tired out, Tony picked Peter up and took him out of the paddling pool. They all went to the changing rooms and got dried and changed and headed back to the car.

“So, garden centre?” Tony said.

“I think we need to get Peter fed first” Loki said. “He’s exerted a lot of energy this morning”

“I think we all have” Carol said. “So, back to yours?”

“Nah, let’s eat out!” Tony said. “It could be fun. Haven’t done it for ages, not since we went to Wagamama’s with some of the others a while ago”

“Wagamama’s?”

“It’s like, Japanese food” Tony said. “It’s good, but there’s loads of other options if you wanted something different. What do you two fancy?”

“I don’t mind” Carol said. 

“I’ll have a think” Loki said. “But I’ll happily go for anything other than seafood”

“Well… How hungry are we? I suppose there’s always the takeaway option, but on the other hand, it’d be easier to stay out if we’re gonna go to that garden centre”

“I’ve never been to this Wagamama’s place” Carol said. “If it’s something you all like, I’m happy to go for that”

Tony looked at Loki. “I’ve only been once without May. Maybe it’d be good to increase those numbers. It’s like… moving on, a little bit” 

Loki swallowed, and nodded. He looked at Peter, who looked back at him, yawning.

“What?”

“Nothing, chick” he sighed. “Put him in his car seat, Carol. Let’s go for lunch”

-

Carol worried that it might have been the wrong option, but after having a little look at the menu, it turned out there was a lot more that she liked than she first realised. In fact, she started to think it was going to be hard to choose.

“So, what’s good?” she said.

“Depends what kinda thing you like” Tony said. “I’m not fussy, so I like pretty much everything. I might try something new this time”

“Alright. Loki?”

“I’m basic. I don’t go for all the exciting weird and wonderful stuff” Loki said.

“I want the beans!” Peter said. “Beans, beans, beans! Green beans, green beans, green beans, green be-”

“Peter, shush” Loki said.

“What are the beans?”

“Edamame. They’re pretty good” Tony said. He looked back at his menu, trying to decide. “It’s easy for Peter; the kids menu only has about four options”

“It’s more than four!” Peter said, pouting at him. 

Tony just laughed and ruffled his hair. “Better decide what you’re having”

“I want the same as mumma!”

“That’s probably not the best idea” Carol said. “I like spicy stuff. I’m thinking of either this chilli ramen or the firecracker curry. I doubt that’s on the kids menu, and I also doubt you’d like them even if they were: they’d blow your poor little head off”

Peter pouted, looking back at his menu. “I had the same as uncle Steve when we were here before”

“You can have the same again if you want, kiddo” Tony said, looking over his shoulder. “Hey, how about having one of those little cococino things? It’s basically hot frothy milk, like you have before bed sometimes”

“Ok!” Peter grinned. “Are you having that yucky stuff again?”

“Green tea isn’t yucky!” he looked at Carol. “You get it for free here. Peter wasn’t a fan”

“It  _is_ yucky!”

“It’s a grown up drink. You’ll probably like it when you’re big” Tony said. “So, what are you having to eat?”

Peter shrugged. 

“You can have what you had last time, then” Loki said. “I think I’ll have the same. Chicken ramen, wasn’t it?”

Peter nodded. He smiled up at the waitress who stopped at their table. 

“Hi!”

“Hello, little one!” the waitress smiled at him. “Are we ready to order?”

-

The weather had turned considerably by the time they’d finished lunch. 

“Maybe we should have brought a raincoat for the kid” Tony said, looking out the window at the downpour.

“Oh, ye of little faith” Loki said, pulling Peter’s little red raincoat out of his shoulder bag. 

“You’re a gem” Tony said. “Peter, come here. Let’s get you into your coat”

Peter whined, but let Tony put the raincoat on him.

“So, garden centre?” Carol said.

Tony nodded. “Sure thing. Let’s go”

-

Carol looked down at Peter, who was sat on the rug building a tower out of his wooden blocks.

“I’ve been watching the two of you today” she said. “He’s a good kid. He’s quiet though, isn’t he?”

Tony nodded. “Yeah, he is. Regular Peter never stops talking. Well, at home, anyway”

“You’re both so natural with him though” Carol said. “You’ve got things all worked out here, haven’t you?”

“I like to think so” Loki said. “We’ve settled quite nicely, wouldn’t you say, Tony?”

“Well” Tony said. “As well as can be expected, given the circumstances”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Loki said accusingly.

“What do you  _think_ it means?! It’s not as though we deliberately had a toddler. We adopted a teenager, remember? A teenager came into our life, our son is a teenager,  _remember_? Sure, we’re getting on ok, but he’s still a victim of Kindsprengen’s gun”

Before Loki could reply, there was a clatter of wood as Peter’s tower fell down.

“Oh! Stupid bloody bricks!” Peter squeaked.

Carol and Loki spluttered, but Tony wasn’t quite so amused.

“Peter! You can’t say things like that!” he said.

Peter looked up. “Why?”

“Because it’s unpleasant and rude and naughty” Tony said. “Do you understand?”

Peter nodded. “My tower fell over”

“So I see. Are you gonna build another one?”

Peter shook his head.

“Put your bricks away then”

Peter found the tub and started throwing his bricks in one by one.

“He’s really good, generally” Tony said, sitting back. “But he does pick up on Loki’s sailor mouth a bit”

“Swearing in front of kids now, are we?” 

Loki raised an eyebrow at her. “A few things slip out every so often, that’s all”

“Well, you swear a lot less than you always have around big Peter” Tony said. “I’ll give you that”

“Big Peter could come out with a right mouthful way before he was our son” Loki said. “Before he even lived with us, actually”

“Maybe so, but he definitely learnt a lot more from you” Tony said. “Loki Sailor-Mouth Stark”

“Hilarious”

“He is kinda funny when he wants to be” Carol said in Tony’s defence. 

Peter padded over and climbed up onto the sofa between Tony and Carol.

“Hey there, trouble” Carol said. “What’s up?”

“I wanna cuddle” 

“Aww, cute!” Tony smiled. “Come here then, baby”

Peter clambered onto Tony’s lap, and Tony shifted closer to Carol, pulling her into the hug too. He held a hand out to Loki.

“Come on you; let’s make it a group hug”

Loki hauled himself up from the armchair and joined them, settling under Tony’s free arm. Peter snuggled down on Tony’s lap, hugging his rocket against his chest and sighing happily.

“What a lovely little group of homosexuals we are” Loki said.

“Loki! You’ve completely ruined the atmosphere!” Tony snapped. “You flippin’ thing! Carol, stop laughing! You shouldn’t encourage him”

“I can’t help it! He comes out with such stupid things sometimes” Carol snickered. “I dread to think what you’re like at work”

“Oh, I’m incredible, believe me” Loki said. “I can drop the professional act while I’m at home, though”

“You really pick your moments” Tony sighed. “We’re trying to have a nice cuddle, and you just start being a feel”

“Well, I’ve got to be something”

Tony rolled his eyes. “ _Anyway_ , I was gonna ask if you’re staying again tonight, Carol?”

“I don’t know. I should probably think about making a move”

“No!” Peter whined. “No, you can’t go! You gotta stay! Mumma, you gotta  _stay_!”

Carol couldn’t help but smile. “I can’t stay here forever, baby. I’ve got things I need to do”

“You need to  _stay_! Please, you gotta stay!” Peter begged, tears filling his eyes. “You gotta stay!”

“Hey, don’t get so upset, kiddo” Tony said. “You know mumma has important stuff to do in space, and she’s got her own family to think about too”

“MY family, she’s MY family!” Peter whimpered. “I want mumma to stay!”

“Baby, you don’t need to cry like this!” Carol said, stroking his hair gently. “You know I need to go away at some point”

“But not yet! Not yet!”

“Peter, quiet” Loki said. “Fussing isn’t going to change anything”

Peter wriggled off Tony’s lap and stood in front of the sofa. 

“You can’t go!”

“Baby-”

“YOU CAN’T GO!” Peter yelled. “YOU CAN’T GO, YOU CAN’T GO, YOU CAN’T  _ **GO**_!”

“Peter! Stop shouting!” Tony snapped. 

“I DON’T WANT MUMMA TO GO!”

“That’s no excuse for shouting the house down” Tony looked at Carol apologetically. “Sorry about this”

“Don’t be” Carol knelt down on the floor, facing Peter. “Baby, you gotta stop shouting”

“I don’t want you to go!” Peter cried, and then started sobbing, covering his face with his hands.

Carol pulled the tiny boy into her arms. “ You know I’ll have to go at some point”

“Not yet!” 

“Not yet” Carol said. “I’ll stay a little bit longer, ok? But you gotta stop crying first”

“I can’t!” Peter sobbed. “I’m too sad!”

“Don’t be sad, chick” Loki said. “Shh, there’s no need to cry so much”

“Yeah, mumma’s gonna stay a little bit longer” Tony said. “That’s what she said”

Peter looked up at his parents, still clinging to Carol. “…Mumma’s gotta stay!”

“Yeah, she’s gonna stay for a little bit” Tony said. 

“I’ll stay another night” Carol said. “Now you need to calm down and be a good boy. No more crying, please”

“Yeah, come on, no more crying” Tony said, handing him his rocket. “Shh”

Peter cuddled into Carol’s chest, burying his face in his rocket. Loki rubbed the boys back firmly.

“Why and how can he have separation anxiety over someone he doesn’t even live with?” Loki sighed under his breath.

“Give the boy a break, Loki” Tony sighed. “He’s a baby, and he loves Carol. He’s allowed to be upset”

“I never said he wasn’t”

“Give it a break, you two!” Carol shook her head at them. “Just take a moment to remember what big Peter is like about being separated from you two, right?”

“Point taken” Loki sighed. “Peter, you’re being silly. Stop crying”

Peter did eventually settle down. He stayed cuddled against Carol, rubbing his nose against the soft fabric of his rocket. Carol rocked him gently. She looked at Loki and Tony.

“If it’s convenient for you, I can stay for three more nights” she said. 

“That’s fine. Be nice to have the company, and Peter will love having you around” Tony said.

“That’s as long as I can stay. I really will have to leave after that” she said. “I think it will be a good few weeks before I can come back after I go. If he hasn’t already been zapped back to normal by the time I’m next able to visit, I’ll help you prepare for when he does. I know you’re gonna have a lot to sort out”

“You don’t have to do that” Tony said. “We’ll sort everything out. But hey, say it’s three weeks before you’re back again? All going to plan, Thor will be back with a reversal before then. Right, Loki?”

Loki didn’t say anything. Carol looked at him hard. She knew what he was thinking.

“He’ll be a teenager again at some point. I’ll be back to help all three of you at some point if you need it, and even if you don’t. Just keep doing what you’re doing” she said, looking at Tony. “Like you’ve always said: this isn’t forever”

*


	24. An Impossible Case

-

Loki lay down next to Tony on the bed. Tony smiled slightly. He had Peter on his chest, fast asleep. He rubbed the toddlers back gently.

“Four months and one week” he said. 

“How is he?”

“He’s fine. You know his fever broke last night”

“Yes, but I was gone in the early hours, so I couldn’t follow up”

“Yeah, I know” Tony said. “He’s been ok. I’ve kept him on light meals and he’s done fine with that. He’s spent most of the day watching his DVDs and colouring in. He just started to get a bit tired, so I brought him here. He didn’t want me to leave him”

“He looks much better. He’s got some colour in his cheeks” Loki said, stroking the boys face gently with the back of his finger. “Isn’t he lovely?”

“Yeah, he’s good” Tony said. He sighed. “It’s been a really long few months, hasn’t it, Lolly?”

“I suppose so. Still, we’ve settled nicely. Can I hold him for a bit?”

“Sure” 

Tony passed the little boy over to Loki, who held him against his chest just as Tony had done.

“He’s so tiny”

“Yeah, he is tiny” Tony said. “So, how was work?”

“It was ok. I was quite glad to finish today though. You know how sometimes you have those days when you just can’t wait to get home?”

“Yeah, I get that” he was quiet for a moment or two. “We’ve been having a really weird time, haven’t we? What with having the toddler and stuff?”

“I suppose, a little bit”

“We’ve had lots of weird bits” Tony said. “Even just stupid things. Like… You know I told you about that guy at that party? The one who had a go at me for holding him?”

“Ah yes. He sounded like a right pillock” Loki said. “Didn’t he offer to lend you a cane?”

“Yeah, he also said I should beat him daily to stop him from misbehaving. He didn’t really agree with my side of that argument. I mean, if you beat a kid for no reason, how are they gonna know the difference between that and being disciplined? He talked about his kids like they were prisoners, for gods sake! He even told me that if a kid is old enough to walk, you should never pick them up”

“What a cock. I’m glad I missed that event, otherwise I may have actually murdered him”

Tony laughed slightly. “If I wanna pick up my kid, I will. I pick up normal Peter enough, so there’s literally nothing stopping me from picking up toddler Peter. God, I feel sorry for that mans kids. He had one of them with him, y’know, like, this little kid only about four, and she looked so downtrodden and miserable. His kids must all be terrified of him”

“That’s no way to live. Hasn’t anyone ever tried reporting him? From what you said, it sounds like he’s basically admitted abuse and emotional neglect”

“He’s too high profile. He tends to pay people off” Tony sighed. “I don’t really know him very well, thankfully. He offered to babysit for us, y’know”

“Please tell me you said no”

“I just laughed at him” Tony said. “I’m not letting anyone that I don’t absolutely trust look after my little boy”

“Good. We’ve done very well looking after this little boy and keeping him safe, and I’d like to keep up that streak”

“Don’t start getting all worried” Tony said. “He’s fine, you know that. Ok, so he’s got cut knees and scraped elbows like every other kid, and he’s been poorly these last few days, but nothing major. He’s a happy, healthy kid, right? He’ll be back to normal before too long anyway”

“What makes you so sure?” Loki said, patting Peter’s back gently. “Thor hasn’t been in touch for ages”

“That doesn’t mean they’ve given up on the reversal” Tony said. 

Loki sat up slowly. He was careful, but Peter stirred and woke up. He rubbed his eyes and blinked up at Loki.

“…Daddy!”

“Hello, little darling” Loki smiled. “How are you feeling?”

Peter made a vague little noise and turned his head to Tony. “Daddy…”

“You feeling ok, kiddo?” Tony asked. “Do you wanna go and get a drink and a snack?”

Peter nodded, wriggling away from Loki. “Juice!”

“Yeah, let’s go and get some juice!”

-

Tony put one of Peter’s DVDs on, and Peter lounged on the big cuddle armchair, wrapped in a blanket with his sippy cup of juice. Loki and Tony settled down on the sofa together.

“He’s so cute” Loki said. “Don’t you think so? He’s just… chilling”

Tony smiled. “Yeah, he’s cute”

“He liked that space museum the other week, didn’t he?” 

“Yeah, he did”

“I still want to take him on holiday”

Tony sighed. “We’ve been through this. Peter’s passport is for  _teenage_ Peter, so what if they said we needed to get a different one for him? That’d be a big wait. Plus, there’s beaches and places in this country that we could take him to”

“It’s not the same, though” Loki said. “We’ve had good times abroad, and he’d love to go paddling in the sea and have tea from the chippy and go on a boat across Derwent Water and-”

“Loki, it’s not gonna happen” Tony interrupted. “We can maybe take him on a proper holiday after he’s been turned back into a teenager”

“ _If_  he gets turned back into a teenager”

“Don’t start that again” Tony sighed. 

“I’m not  _starting_  anything”

“Good, then don’t”

Loki rolled his eyes. “…He’d like the jet too”

“Loki, give it a rest! We’re not taking him on a foreign holiday!”

Peter looked over at them, surprised. “You’re shouting!”

“Sorry, sweetheart” Tony said. “Just ignore us. Go back to your programme, there’s a good boy”

Peter turned back to the telly, cuddling his rocket under one arm. He kept glancing at his parents, wary that they were arguing. Tony noticed, and felt a little bad. He put an arm round Loki’s shoulders and rested their heads together, hoping to put Peter at ease. They watched the DVD quietly for a while, and Peter soon settled back to watching his programme properly. Tony sighed silently.

“…I keep thinking ahead” he said quietly.

“In what way?” Loki replied.

“As in… when the reversal is sorted, and we’ve got our teenage son back, and we’ve sorted all the IVF stuff, and… And as in… One day we’ll be a family of four”

“Maybe we should just go back to the clinic now” Loki said. “We shouldn’t have to put things on hold. This whole Kindsprengen thing is odd, but it’s hardly a major trauma. It’s set us back four months already. Maybe we should just get on with it”

“Oh Loki” Tony sighed. “I’m not up to it yet. I need to wait,  _we_ need to wait. We need to get our little boy back the way he should be before we start planning the clinic”

Loki sighed heavily. “Tony, we don’t even know if they’re going to be able to find a reversal. Think about it! It’s been four months and a week since Thor took Kindsprengen’s gun to Asgard. There’s been no progress. He might be a toddler forever. We shouldn’t have to put our lives on hold waiting for something that might never happen”

Tony opened his mouth to reply, but was distracted by his phone ringing. He took it out of his pocket and pressed the speaker button.

“Hello?”

“Tony, hello. It’s Thor”

“Thor?!” Tony sat up. “We haven’t heard anything from you for ages!”

“I know. I’m sorry, but I felt I was getting your hopes up unnecessarily by coming back so often”

“You said” Tony sighed. “What’s up? Where are you at?”

“I’m coming round this evening” Thor said. “The reversal is ready”

*


	25. There Is No Way You Can Deny It

-

Tony immediately rang the Avengers to tell them the news. He couldn’t keep it to himself. He rambled down the phone, and there were plenty of shouts and sighs of relief. 

Tony sat back heavily after the last phone call. He looked at Loki.

“Steve and Nat are coming round. They’re not gonna be long”

“Right” Loki said.

“They want to support us. Oh my god, my hearts pounding!” Tony breathed out. “I need to breathe. Oh god, it’s happening! We’re gonna get our little boy back!!”

Loki stood up and lifted Peter into his arms. “Do you want another drink, chick?”

“I wanna hot chocolate!” Peter said. “Can I have a hot chocolate?”

“Ok. Come on; let’s get you sorted”

-

Tony waited a few minutes, and then went out to the kitchen. Loki was sat at the breakfast bar with Peter on his lap, supporting the mug of hot chocolate so Peter could drink without spilling it all over himself. 

“Loki?” Tony sat down on the other side of the breakfast bar. “Talk to me?”

“I’ve got nothing to say”

“You haven’t said a word since Thor rang. Look, this is a  _good_ thing! Peter never should have been turned into a toddler. It’s all a weird situation, and we always knew it wouldn’t be forever. We both knew they’d sort a reversal. Now the reversal is ready, we can get Peter back to normal, and then  _we_  can get back to normal. We can move on”

“What exactly do we have to move on from? He’s our son regardless of what happened. He’s our happy, healthy toddler. He’s got a good life. He hasn’t known the struggles teenager Peter has, and-”

“Hey, don’t you dare! We’ve been through this all before. Just because he had some bad stuff happen to him, doesn’t mean he doesn’t deserve his old life back. He’s happy in his regular teenage life, despite everything. What’s to say that he won’t go through bad stuff as a toddler, anyway?” he shook his head. “We’re not discussing this. Thor is gonna come round, we’re gonna get Peter back to normal, and then we’re gonna carry on with the rest of our lives”

-

Loki wasn’t happy when Steve and Natasha showed up. He let them play with Peter, but he stayed close by, watching carefully.

“What time is Thor getting here?” Nat asked after a while, sitting back on one of the sofas.

“He just said this evening” Tony said, tapping his foot. “I hope it’s soon; I’m starting to feel restless”

“I can tell” Steve said, ruffling Peter’s hair and joining Nat on the sofa. “It feels like it’s been forever. It’s going to feel a little strange having regular Peter back”

Peter looked at him, brows furrowed, and then went back to his little game of shop. 

“Do you think he’s gonna remember all this?” Nat asked.

Tony shook his head slightly. “I don’t know. Maybe. I guess we’ll find out soon”

Nat looked at Loki. “What do you think?”

Loki merely glared at her. Tony didn’t notice. He checked his watch. He checked his phone. He looked at the clock.

“He’s gotta be here soon” he said. “Should we prepare something? Like, I don’t know, is there something we should do?”

“Just breathe, Tony” Steve said. “There’s nothing you need to sort out. Thor will be here. Just stay calm. For Peter’s sake”

Tony knelt down on the floor. Peter grinned at him, handing him a small plastic shopping basket.

“You need to go shopping!” he said. “There’s the food, an’ then I’ll do the clicky thing!”

Tony smiled, obediently filling his basket and then setting it down at Peter’s plastic till. 

“Thank you!” Peter said. “I’m gonna click them all now”

Peter set to work ‘scanning’ all of the plastic food items with the bar code scanner from the toy till. Tony stroked his hair gently.

“I think I’m gonna miss this bit” he said. “All his little games. He’s a really cute little toddler”

“He’s a cute teenager too” Steve said. “You’ll still have the memories”

“Yeah, you’re right. I’m looking forward to hugging my boy again. My son… back the way he should be”

Peter finished ‘scanning’ Tony’s shopping, and then held out his hand.

“Twelve”

“Oh, I see” Tony said, hunting around for some plastic money. He found a ten dollar note and a couple of dollar coins, and handed them to Peter. “That should all be in order”

Peter looked at the toy money, and then opened his till and put the money in the drawer. 

“Good. Thank you, come again!”

Tony smiled and ruffled his hair. The doorbell sounded, followed by the sound of the front door opening, and Tony gasped silently. He jumped to his feet but stayed still, waiting, his heart pounding. Soon Thor came into the room, and Tony ran and threw his arms round him.

“It’s good to see you too” Thor said, hugging him back. “…Are you crying?”

“Just a little bit” Tony admitted, burying his face in Thor’s shoulder. “It’s been so long. I can’t believe I’m finally gonna get my boy back”

Thor squeezed him tight. “Let’s get this done”

Tony nodded and took a deep breath. “Ok”

Thor let go of him and nodded at everyone. “Hello. I didn’t expect you two to be here”

“We wanted to come” Steve said.

“Loki?” Thor sat down next to his brother. “Loki, look at me”

Loki did.

“I know that look. What’s going on?”

Loki didn’t say anything.

“Brother. Talk to me” 

“There’s nothing to talk about”

Thor sighed and kissed him on the cheek. “Ok”

He stood up again, clearing his throat.

“Hi, Uncle Thor!” Peter shouted, rushing over to him and holding his arms up for a cuddle.

“Hi, Nephew Peter!” Thor grinned, lifting him up over his head, making him squeal. “Hello, little one! How are you doing?”

“I’ve been swimming and to the park and to the swings and we’ve played lots of games! And daddy bought me ice cream and mumma came to visit and we went out to eat and then we went to this place with rockets and we went to this place with dinosaurs and mumma got me a dinosaur! It shouts and roars when you cuddle it too tight!” 

“Sounds like you’ve been having a great time!” Thor grinned, holding the boy on his hip. “Are you happy?”

“Yep!” Peter grinned, cuddling against him. “Uncle Steve and Aunt Nat are here! We’ve been playing shop!”

“So I see”

Thor looked at Tony, who was watching him expectantly.

“It’s in my bag” he said.

Thor reached into his shoulder bag and brought out a ray gun very similar to Kindsprengen’s de-ageing gun, only it was red instead of purple. Everyone took a breath, and Loki looked up. Thor raised the gun. Peter spotted it. His eyes widened, and he shrieked in terror and started struggling.

“Hey, Peter, it’s ok!” Tony said. “Shh, you’re ok!”

Peter continued to shriek and managed to struggle free, dropping to the floor quite heavily. 

“Peter, it’s ok” Thor tried. “I’m not gonna hurt you”

“You’ve got a gun!” Peter howled, backing away from him, tears streaming down his cheeks.

“Thor, just pull the trigger, get it over with!” Tony said desperately. 

Thor pointed the gun at Peter, who shrieked and sobbed, trembling with fear. Thor took a deep breath and-

“STOP THIS, YOU’RE SCARING HIM!” Loki shouted, jumping in and scooping Peter up from the floor. “Stop waving that bloody thing around! Back off!”

Loki cradled Peter close against his chest, holding him protectively. Peter shrieked a little more and then clung to Loki’s shirt, burying his face in his shoulder.

“Shh, darling. I’ve got you. You’re safe with me” Loki said. “I’ve got you. It’s ok, I’m here”

“He’ll only be scared for a minute! Loki, you need to let Thor do this!” Tony said.

“No!” Loki snapped. “Leave him alone! He doesn’t need you scaring him half to death! What’s wrong with you?! How could you stand by and listen to him scream and cry like that?!”

“Loki, I just-”

“I don’t want to hear your excuses!” Loki picked up Peter’s rocket and handed it to him. “This isn’t necessary. How do we even know it’s safe?”

“It’s been tested extensively on Asgard” Thor said. “It works”

“I’m not taking any chances. Put that bloody gun away!” Loki snapped. “You’re scaring my son”

Thor reluctantly put the ray gun back in his bag. “We need to turn Peter back to normal”

“Absolutely not” Loki said. “I’m not letting you use my little boy as a guinea pig”

Tony laughed nervously, grabbing Loki’s arm. “You can’t stop this. He needs to get his life back! Put him down”

“No! He’s fine the way he is! He’s happy, he’s healthy, he’s got a good life. Take that bloody gun, and get out of our house, Thor” Loki hissed. He shushed Peter, kissing his forehead. “Go and test your little reversal gun on those other kids who got hit with Kindsprengen’s gun, if you must. I won’t stop you from doing that. But you can keep that thing away from my son”

There was a brief silence. 

“Now hold on a minute” Nat said. “This isn’t a decision you can make on your own”

“Let’s think about this properly” Steve said. “Putting Peter back to normal was always a priority. Putting  _all_  of Kindsprengen’s victims back to normal was always a goal, as soon as we saw what was going on. Peter has a life to get back to. He’s got school, friends, and all the rest of it. We need to put everything to rights”

“This is nothing to do with you!” Loki growled. “Stay away from my son”

“Loki. Loki, please” Tony begged, tears spilling from his eyes. “Please, we need to do this. We need to-”

Loki turned on his heel and stormed out, Peter still whimpering in his arms. Tony went to run after him, but Steve grabbed hold of him. 

“Leave him. You can’t start a fight, not in front of the child”

Tony pulled his arm away and sank down on the nearest sofa. Nat got up and sat down beside him.

“Loki’s headstrong. I think he needs a bit of time to get used to the idea”

“It’s not an idea to get used to! He’s known from the start! He knew as soon as this happened that he wasn’t gonna be a toddler forever!” Tony said. “We need to turn my toddler back into my teenager. You get that, don’t you?”

“I get it” Nat said. “I think Loki does too. I think he’s worried”

“I do too” Steve said. “This reversal might have been tested on Asgard, but it hasn’t been used on any of the other victims yet”

“I think you’re right” Thor sighed. “We need to give Loki a bit of time”

“How about you go and visit some of the other victims and get them changed back first?” Nat suggested. “Once some of them are teenagers again, maybe Loki will feel a bit better about it”

Tony swallowed, wiping his eyes. “I want my boy back…”

“I think Nat’s idea is the way we need to go” Thor said. “We both know how stubborn Loki is. I love Peter, and I know he needs to be turned back to normal. But Loki isn’t going to let it happen until he feels comfortable. You can’t do it behind his back, because he’d never forgive you”

“I know. I really do…” Tony sighed. “Ok. Get in touch with Banner. He’s got a list of everyone affected, with contact details. Call him… I think I need to call Li Allen”

“Your social worker?” Nat said. 

Tony nodded. “Yeah. I think she needs to know what’s going on”

“I think that’s sensible” Steve said.

Thor gave Tony a quick hug. “I’m going to call Banner. I’m going to leave, but first I’m going to say goodbye to Loki”

-

Loki stood up defensively when Thor came into the kitchen. Peter was sat at the breakfast bar, having his tea. He whimpered a little when he saw Thor.

“Don’t you dare pull that gun” Loki warned. “Leave my son alone”

“I’m here to say goodbye” Thor said. “I’ll be back later. In a few days, maybe. I’m going to see the children Kindsprengen hit and give them back their normal lives. I’ll come back and then we’ll sort this out together”

“I’m not letting you near my son” 

“Let me hug him goodbye. I won’t try any tricks, I promise”

“I’d like to see you try” Loki glared at him. “No”

Thor sighed, stepping closer and putting his arms round Loki.

“I’m not your enemy, brother. But you and Tony need to sort this out”

Loki didn’t say anything, but he hugged him back. He knew he meant well.

-

Tony found Loki later that evening, giving Peter a bath. He leant against the door frame.

“This isn’t right”

Loki froze a moment, but soon continued sluicing the soap out of Peter’s hair.

“I won’t have my son used as a guinea pig”

“Our son, Loki,  _our_ son” Tony stepped closer to him. “What’s going through your head, Loki?”

“I only want what’s best for him”

“Giving him his life back is what’s best for him. We’ve been through this!”

Peter looked up at him, his lip quivering. Tony sighed. 

“Loki, why don’t you go to bed? I’ll finish up here”

“It’s fine; I can do it” Loki said, scooping Peter out of the bath and wrapping him in a towel.

“Daddy!” Peter protested. “I wanna play!”

“You can play in your bedroom for a bit after you’re dried and dressed” Loki said, lifting him up and sweeping past Tony.

Tony followed him out into the bedroom. “Loki”

“I don’t need your help” Loki said, setting Peter down and starting to towel him dry. “I’m more than capable of looking after him”

“I know that. I’m just… Loki, after what you did this evening, I-”

“Don’t you dare try to turn me into the villain here!” Loki snapped, making Peter jump. He sighed. “Sorry, darling”

“Are you fighting?” Peter asked uncertainly. 

“No, we’re not fighting” Loki said, looking at Tony hard. 

Tony sighed. “Ok. Are you putting him to bed?”

“Yes”

Tony knelt down. Loki looked at him warily. Tony tried to ignore him.

“Peter, darling? Daddy’s going to put you to bed, so I’m gonna say goodnight to you now”

“Oh” Peter held his arms out to Tony. “Goodnight, daddy!”

Tony hugged him close and kissed him on the cheek. “Goodnight, bambino. See you in the morning”

“See you in the morning!”

Tony gave him a kiss, and let go of him. He stood up, and looked at Loki.

“We’ll talk later”

Peter watched him go. He stayed quiet while Loki towelled him dry and powdered him and dressed him in his rocket pyjamas. Loki kissed him on the nose.

“Now go and brush your teeth, and then you can play a quiet little game before bed”

Peter went and brushed his teeth and then came back into the bedroom. He looked around the room for a moment, and then pulled a jigsaw box down from one of the shelves.

“What have you got there, darling?”

“Puzzle” Peter said, putting the box down and sitting on the rug.

Loki sat down with him, looking at the box. It was a 24 piece beach-themed Peppa Pig puzzle. Peter had done it before, so Loki knew it wasn’t too difficult for him. 

“Peter?”

“Hm?”

“Are you ok? I know you had a bit of a fright earlier”

“I’m ok” Peter said, opening the jigsaw box and tipping the pieces onto the rug. “Uncle Thor had a gun”

“I know. How did that make you feel?”

“Scared. Guns hurt people”

“I know, chick. Now, that gun that uncle Thor had wasn’t the dangerous kind with bullets that you’re thinking of. Uncle Thor loves you very much, and he’d never hurt you. And more to the point, I would never let anyone hurt you either. You know that, don’t you? And you understand what I’ve told you?”

“…Uncle Thor wasn’t gonna hurt me” Peter said. “Even though he was scary”

“That’s right. You don’t need to worry, chick. You’re perfectly safe”

“Daddy wouldn’t hurt me”

“No, of course not”

Peter looked at the puzzle pieces, shifting them around. Loki looked at them too.

“Do you remember what I told you the last time we did a puzzle?”

“Edge pieces first” Peter said.

“That’s right. You’ve got the first few already, haven’t you? Clever boy!”

“Uncle Steve and Aunt Nat went home” Peter said, pressing a few puzzle pieces together, his tongue sticking out in concentration. “They went home”

“Yes, they did. I’m sure they’ll visit again if you want them too”

“Uncle Clint?”

“I can ask him to visit” Loki said.

“He gave me cars last time”

“That’s right. Maybe he’ll give you some more presents next time, although I doubt you need them… You’ve got loads of toys”

“I like my toys” Peter said. “I have lots!”

“You do. Have you got a favourite?”

“My rocket!”

“I thought so” Loki said, lining up some puzzle pieces in order. “What are your other favourites?”

“My bath toys! Like the windmill that goes spinny, spinny, spinny, and the duck that quacks!”

“Good choices” Loki nodded. “How about your baby? You like pushing your baby round the park, don’t you?”

“Yep. Daddy, can I tell you a secret?”

Loki leant closer. “Of course. What is it?”

“I don’t like the talking bear daddy got” he said. “It’s scary”

Loki smiled. “I understand. Don’t worry; your secret’s safe with me”

-

“Shh, settle down now, baby”

“I don’t wanna go to sleep!”

“Now now, darling. The deal was, you could play a quiet game and then you’d go to bed”

“I did a jigsaw!”

“You did! You did it wonderfully” Loki said, laying him back down and tucking him in again. “I love you, darling. You know that, don’t you?”

“I love you too, daddy”

Loki kissed him on the nose. “You’re my little baby. You’re so important. Daddy and I love you more than anything else in the world”

Peter blinked up at him. “Are we going to the park tomorrow?”

“Maybe” Loki tucked Peter’s rocket in beside him. “Are you going to be a good boy and go to sleep now?”

Peter paused. He shook his head, and giggled. Then he nodded and giggled some more.

“What’s your game, chicken?”

“It’s bedtime!” Peter said. “I’ll sleep. But I wanna go to the park tomorrow”

“We’ll see, darling. Now, you’re in your pyjamas, you’re tucked into bed, your nightlight is on, and the main light is off. Now it’s time for you to snuggle down with your rocket, close your little eyes, and go to sleep. Are you going to do that for me?”

Peter yawned and nodded, snuggling down. Loki stroked his hair gently, and Peter slowly closed his eyes, and soon fell fast asleep.

-

Loki found Tony in the reading nook, flicking through an old photo book. Loki slowly pushed the door closed and went and sat down on the other side of the window seat. They sat there in silence for a minute or two. Loki took a deep breath.

“This takes me back” 

Tony was quiet for a few moments. He closed the photo book and set it aside.

“You had no right to stop Thor from turning our son back into a teenager”

“Thor was scaring him” Loki said. “Our little boy was screaming in terror, and you just stood there. There was absolutely no need to cause him that much distress. I couldn’t stand by and watch that happen”

“Loki, he only would’ve been scared for a minute! He’d’ve been zapped back to normal, and then he would’ve stopped being scared! He could’ve got his  _life_ back today, and you stopped that from happening! That’s not fair, Loki, it’s not fair!”

“It’s not fair to scare him! Even just for a little bit, it’s just not fair! He’s a baby, Tony! And more to the point, medically, there’s absolutely no reason to change him. Peter is healthy. He doesn’t need you scaring him half to death just to turn him back into some PTSD-ridden teenager with selective mutism and a whole host of other problems. Peter’s happy the way he is. His happiness and well-being has to be our priority! We both want what’s best for him. Why can’t you see that  _this is_  what’s best for him?!”

“This  _isn’t_ what’s best for him!” Tony snapped. “And don’t shout at me!”

“I wasn’t shouting!”

“You were” Tony said. “And you’re wrong. Keeping him as a toddler isn’t what’s best. He’s our son. I’ve looked after him for so long, since before you even met him. We’ve spent years taking care of him together. We’ve looked after him. We taught him. We basically had a custody agreement with May. We took him in when she’d gone. We did our best. We made mistakes, but we did our best. We’ve looked after him. We’ve rebuilt him, built a life for him. He deserves to have his life back”

“None of that matters!” Loki snapped. “It’s all just history. That’s all it is! We might have done all of that. Ok, we did all of that. We’ve done our best by him. But look at him now! He’s so much better off because of this! He ended up with us by accident, and it worked out ok. He became a toddler by accident, and it’s working out! Not once, in the last four months, have we had to hold an anguished child, powerless to really do anything. We haven’t had to watch our son break down in front of us. We haven’t had the worry of his illnesses. We haven’t had the worry of letting him go on patrol and not knowing if he’s going to come back unscathed. We haven’t had the worry of him messing about with that Malaki and at that bookshop, and all the other stuff that can and has gone wrong. We haven’t had to deal with any of that. You can’t seriously look at our tiny boy, and think that it’s better to send him back to the life his fifteen year old self had. You can’t”

“I do” Tony said, trying hard to stay calm. “We’re sick too, remember? Would we be better off as toddlers?”

Loki didn’t say anything.

“You’ve said all the things we haven’t had to deal with in the last four months. But what about the rest of it?” Tony said. “You know what else we haven’t had? Nights here in the reading nook, comfortable and warm. Nights with him under our arm generally. Swim competitions. His funny jokes and ways. I haven’t had him helping in the lab or just sitting watching me work and telling me about his day. We haven’t had him cooking with us and laughing with us and coming to us when he’s sad or scared or worried. We haven’t had our weekends doing things like go-karting or mini golf or museums. We haven’t had him doing his homework at the breakfast bar, or sat at our feet watching telly, or on his tummy on the living room rug humming to himself and reading. We haven’t had him jumping up and excitedly babbling about his patrols and stuff. We haven’t had the son that we adopted. I love toddler Peter, I really do. I love him more than anything. But I invited the teenager into my heart, into my life, and that’s who I want. I can’t resent little Peter, or hold any of this against him, of course I can’t. But I need big Peter back. He deserves his life back”

“He’s better off as a toddler” Loki said. “That’s what’s best"

“Best for who?” Tony said. “Best for you? It’s not best for Peter”

“What makes you think this reversal gun is even going to work? What makes you so sure it’s safe?”

“Thor said it was tested, that it works. He’s going to give those other kids their lives back. It works, and it’s fine. Just wait and see the news in the morning. Then you’ll see”

“I won’t let my brother or anyone else point that gun at our boy. I just can’t do it. Peter doesn’t need to go through that level of distress. Just leave him alone”

“We can’t leave it this way forever” Tony sighed. “…I called Li Allen. She’s going to visit the day after tomorrow”

Loki nodded. 

“Loki? Listen… I don’t agree with you. But I promise I won’t try to go behind your back on this. But I’m not changing my mind” Tony stood up. “You’ll have to change your mind at some point. I think you know, deep down, that you’re on the wrong side of the table. You’ll realise that soon, if you haven’t already. We need to get our lives back on track. We need to get things back to normal, and we have to turn Peter back, to get back to normal. You know that”

“Our family has never been normal”

“Maybe not. But we have our own version of normal. And our version of normal, doesn’t involve a toddler”

*


	26. Change Your Mind

-

Tony tried to act like nothing was wrong when he was around Peter. He tried not to think about the reversal too much. He didn’t speak to Loki about it. In fact, he didn’t really speak to Loki about anything. It was easier that way.

-

Li Allen had been given an overview of the situation by Tony, so she had some idea of what to expect on her visit. As usual, she was invited up to the living room and offered a drink. Little Peter ran to her for a hug, which she happily supplied.

“It’s you again!” Peter giggled, snuggling into her.

“It’s me again!” Li said. “How are you today, Peter?”

“I’m building a castle for my dinosaurs!” he wriggled out of her arms and went and grabbed a box. “You can play with these!”

“Thank you very much, darling” Li smiled. “I love Stickle Bricks”

Peter grinned and went back to his game, stacking blocks and positioning his dinosaurs. 

“You know, for the first few years of being a social worker, every time I was taking a child to their first foster carer, I bought them Stickle Bricks” she said, opening the box. 

“Stickle Bricks are great” Tony said. “Some of those might be a bit chewed up: Peter likes biting them”

“I was the same when I was little”

“Me too” Tony said. 

“So, Peter still seems to be doing well. Has there been any problems with him since the last time we saw each other?”

“Not really. He was poorly for a few days recently, but that’s all really. He’s got some little cuts and stuff from being so rough and tumble, but nothing serious. Just little kiddie cut knees and scraped elbows” Tony said.

“He’s absolutely fine” Loki said. “Happy and healthy. No problems to speak of”

“The only  _problem_ ” Tony said. “Is that we had the perfect change to be the first to reverse the effects of Kindsprengen’s gun, and Loki stopped it from happening”

“Peter was terrified when Thor pulled that gun on him” Loki said. “We went through this; there’s no reason to put him through that level of fear, even just for a few seconds. He’s happy, he’s healthy, he’s got a good life. We don’t need to zap him with that bloody reversal gun. Leave him alone”

“We can’t leave him like this! No one had the right to turn him into a toddler, and we haven’t got the right to keep him as one! He deserves to have his life back!”

“This  _is_  his life!”

“He needs to be turned back” Tony retorted. “He needs to be his old self again! He needs to be back to swimming and going to school and seeing his friends and helping in the lab and-”

“No, he doesn’t!” Loki snapped. “He’s better this way! He’s happy and healthy and he’s got nothing but good memories! He’s much better having a life of playing games and finger painting and colouring in and getting excited about the ducks at the park and the offer of a Happy Meal than-”

“He can still do all of that stuff as a teenager, if he wants to! How many times do I have to say it?: we didn’t adopt a toddler! Our son has always been our teenage son, until the accident with that flippin’ gun. He was turned into a toddler by accident. We can reverse that accident and make things right again!”

“Daddy’s are fighting…” Peter frowned.

“We’re not fighting, chick” Loki said. “Just ignore us. Daddy is being silly”

“ _I’m_ being silly?  _I’M_ being silly? Let me tell you something, Loki Stark! I-”

“Can I make a suggestion?” Li interrupted. “I think Peter might be ready for a nap at this time”

Tony checked his watch. “Probably. Peter? Peter, darling, do you wanna go for a nap?”

“Can I take my dinosaurs with me?”

“You can take two”

Peter grabbed his favourite two dinosaurs in one hand, and his rocket in the other. Tony picked him up and kissed him on the cheek.

“Let’s put you down for a nap, sweetheart”

-

Tony lay Peter down on the futon in the back room, propping a pillow up behind him. 

“There you go. Put your little dinos beside you, cuddle up with your rocket, and settle down” Tony said, tucking him up in his little fleecy blanket. “Sleep tight, bambino”

“Ok” Peter yawned. “Nap time…”

“Yeah, nap time” Tony kissed him on the forehead. “Good boy”

-

With Peter safely out of the way, Tony and Loki could talk with Li without worrying about upsetting the toddler. Li listened to what they both had to say, staying quiet, largely because Tony and Loki were arguing too furiously for her to get a word in edgeways. 

“If I can interject” Li said eventually. “This shouting is getting you nowhere. You both keep repeating the same points over and over, and I think it’s plain to see what the two of you want”

Loki and Tony shut up, breathing quite heavily. They turned their heads away from each other.

“I know this is difficult” Li said. “It’s been a strange situation right from the start. It was dreadful that Peter ended up in the firing line. It should never have happened to any of these children. They might not have been hurt, but they were still attacked. They had their lives taken away from them, albeit temporarily. But now, well, the other worlds up there have done their bit, and there’s a reversal. As of this morning, the rest of these children have all been put back to normal. Peter’s the only one who hasn’t”

“I don’t care about those other children” Loki said. “I care about Peter. I want what’s best for him”

“Oh, and this is what’s best for him?” Tony said. 

“You want what’s best for him too, Tony” Li said. “Both of you have Peter’s best interests at heart. But your ideas of what is best for him are different”

“Who do you agree with, Li?” Tony asked. “I know you’re supposed to be impartial, but we’ve known each other long enough. Just tell us what you think we should do”

“Peter never should have been turned into a teenager. However happy he is now, it doesn’t change that fact. Over the time that I’ve known Peter, he has got better, much, much better. He’s happy in his regular life. He deserves to go back to that” Li paused for a moment. “I think you need to use the reversal on him. Give him his life back”

“Thank you! See, Loki, you’re the only person who thinks we shouldn’t turn him back into a teenager. You’re outnumbered here!”

“He’s my son!” Loki snapped. “Only me and you have a say in this! I want my son to stay as he is”

“Well, I want him to go back to the way he was before this whole Kindsprengen nightmare happened! The way things  _should_ be!”

“Well I won’t let you! I’m not having you terrifying him for the sake of something barely worth doing! I’m done! Thor won’t dare come near me or my son with that bloody ray gun” Loki stood up. “Good day to you”

Tony growled in irritation as Loki stormed out. “He’s bloody impossible! What am I supposed to do?!”

“I don’t think there’s anything you  _can_ do. Loki’s not going to let anyone bring the reversal gun near Peter in a hurry” Li said. “Listen, between you and me, there’s already been talks of interviews and potentially documentaries with some of Kindsprengen’s victims now that they’re their normal ages again. Maybe keeping an eye on that would be a good idea. Loki might feel better about it if he sees what it’s like for them to be returned to their usual age”

“Maybe… But what am I supposed to do here? Just carry on like we’re not fighting over this?”

“Maybe. You don’t want to start a major conflict where little Peter is going to get caught up in the middle of it. At the end of the day, this argument is between you and Loki. Little Peter hasn’t done anything wrong, and he doesn’t know what’s going on in regards to this situation. You’ll work this out eventually. Can I ask you something?”

“If you like”

“How do you think the press would react if they knew about this?”

Tony sucked his breath. “I don’t think they’d be happy. I can’t be doing with all that kinda stuff right now. I just want my son back the way he should be. I can’t let Loki get in the way of that, no matter how much I love him”

“Give him time. He’ll have to come round at some point. He may not like it, but he’ll learn to accept it” Li said gently. “He’ll have to”

-

Tony pushed down all of his thoughts and feelings about the reversal and tried to carry on as normal. Or at least carry on how things were before the reversal was ready. 

They stayed in the house. Tony didn’t want to go out, and he distracted Peter with enough indoor activities that he didn’t whine to go out, and Loki seemed happy enough to stay in too. 

-

Two days after Li Allen’s visit, Loki went out to Tony’s garden balcony. Tony and Peter were sat by the water feature. Tony was letting Peter play with a couple of his little plastic boats on the water. Peter was enjoying playing with the boats, especially when they drifted under the stream of water and spun round in circles. 

“So this is where you got to” Loki said gently, going over and sitting down on the swinging bench.

“Well, it was quite warm inside. Peter wanted to play out here, didn’t you, honey?” 

“I like the water thingy!” Peter grinned. “I like our garden!”

“I hope you’re not getting water all over yourself” Loki said.

“Daddy said it’s ok, cos I’ve got this on!” Peter said, pointing at his dungarees. 

“I see” Loki said. “Have you had your lunch?”

Peter nodded. “We had bagels!”

“How nice”

“Has your brother been in touch?” Tony asked.

“Why do you ask?”

“You know why”

Loki sighed. “I thought we weren’t going to talk about that any more”

Tony picked up one of Peter’s rubber ducks and handed it to the toddler. Peter took it and set it down on one of his little plastic boats.

“He’s a sailor!” Peter giggled, grinning up at Tony. 

Tony smiled at him, and turned back to Loki. “Clint phoned me today”

“I see” Loki said.

“He said you’ve been talking a lot. He wants to come over later”

“I see. What did you say?”

“I said he could come over later” Tony said. “He’ll be here around four”

“Good. Well. It’s nearly two. Are you going to put Peter down for a nap?”

“Well… He’s in the middle of a game. I don’t think he’s very tired this afternoon”

Loki looked at Peter. “Peter, darling? Nap time”

“I’m not tired!” Peter pouted. “I wanna keep playing!”

“You’ll be grumpy later on if you don’t have a nap. Come along now. You don’t want to fall asleep while uncle Clint is here later, do you?”

Peter looked at Tony. “Do I have to?”

Tony sucked his breath. “Well…”

“Peter, now, please” Loki said, standing up and holding a hand out to him. 

“I don’t want to!”

“Peter, now!”

Peter whined and stood up, growling. He scowled and reluctantly held his hand up for Loki to take.

“Good boy” Loki said. “Come along, darling”

Tony sighed, but didn’t stop them from wandering off. He knelt down and took Peter’s toys out of the water feature. He set them down on the garden table, frowning slightly. He didn’t have the energy to argue with Loki right now. Clint had said they’d talked a lot over the last few months, and that they were pretty much friends by now. Maybe he’d be able to talk some sense into him. He certainly hoped so.

-

Tony accidentally fell asleep for a while. Once he woke up, he went to find Loki. He found him in the living room. Clint was with him, having a pretend tea party with Peter. 

“Oh, hey Tony” Clint said. “Good to see you”

“Good to see you too” Tony said. “Sorry, I fell asleep”

“Daddy, daddy! Wanna join my tea party?”

“Sure, kiddo” Tony said, sitting down next to Loki.

Peter poured Tony a pretend cup of tea and handed the metal cup and saucer to him.

“Thanks, darling” Tony said, taking it and pretending to take a sip. “Delicious”

Peter smiled happily and started ‘slicing’ a wooden cake - whose slices were held together with velcro - with a wooden toy knife.

“There’s been some interesting stuff on the news lately” Clint said. “About Kindsprengen’s kids”

“Yeah, we watched some interviews and read some articles” Tony said. 

“We’ve had the memory question answered anyway” Clint said. “Turns out they  _do_ retain the toddler memories. Kinda weird, right?”

“Kinda. It’s all weird, isn’t it? One of those kids said being turned back felt like fainting and coming round again”

“Yeah, I saw that. One of the others said it just felt like blinking hard”

“Do we really need to discuss this in front of Peter?” Loki said.

“He doesn’t know what’s going on” Clint said. “Hey Peter, can I get a top up?”

“Yep” Peter picked up the tin teapot. “Do you want cake?”

“Sure, if you’re offering” Clint said.

Peter put slices of the wooden cake on little plates and handed them round, humming happily to himself.

“Is he singing the original Pingu theme?” Clint asked.

“Yes, he is” Loki said. “We’ve been watching a lot of Pingu, haven’t we, chick?”

“Yep!” Peter said. “I like the seal! The fish look nice, but real fish is yuck”

Clint laughed slightly. “I guess you’re not having fish for tea tonight then?”

Peter wrinkled his nose and shook his head. “Yuck”

Tony ruffled the boys hair. “We’ll have a little think about tea”

“No, you keep choosing unhealthy meals” Loki said. “I’ll decide about tonight”

“Ok, ok, how about I choose something healthy? Could just do a pasta bake and a salad?”

“That sounds ok…” Loki said. 

“Salad is boring!” Peter said, wrinkling his nose. “I want chicken nuggets!”

“You had chicken nuggets last night!” Tony said.

“I WANT CHICKEN NUGGETS!”

“Hey, keep your voice down!” Loki said. “You’re not having chicken nuggets”

Peter sighed and shook his head, raising his tea cup to his lips and taking a pretend sip. The grown ups snickered, amused by his serious expression. He was a funny kid.

-

Once Peter was in bed, Clint could talk with Loki and Tony properly. He’d talked to both of them over the phone, but they hadn’t been too clear over what was going on. 

“So, why is Peter still a toddler?” he asked.

There was a brief silence. Tony looked at Loki. 

“What?”

“It’s your fault he’s still a toddler”

“Oh for gods sake” Loki sighed.

“It is though!” Tony turned to Clint. “Loki got in the way when Thor was about the change Peter back, and he hasn’t let us try again since”

“Thor absolutely terrified him!” Loki snapped. “He made him absolutely howl. It wasn’t fair. Besides, Peter’s fine the way he is. There’s no reason to turn him back”

“Woah, what? Loki, I know you’ve managed to enjoy having a toddler, but that’s no reason to keep him like this!” Clint said. “Don’t you have things you need to get on with, things that depend on having him turned back to normal?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about”

“This isn’t gonna be the only time you have a toddler. You could change wards at the hospital, and then there’s always the IVF baby you’re gonna have. That’ll grow into a toddler. You can’t just keep Peter as a toddler forever”

“Peter’s happy the way he is” Loki said. “He deserves the best life we can give him, and this  _is_ the best life for him, no matter what you say”

“Well, no matter what  _you_ say, he doesn’t deserve to be confined to a life of toddlerness. You’ve gotta change him back. That was the way it was always gonna be”

“I can’t do that” Loki said. “I just can’t”

“Loki, yo-”

“What do you mean, you can’t?” Clint interrupted.

“I can’t put him back the way he was. It’s not fair”

“Isn’t it?”

“Of course not! I just… The way teenage Peter is…”

“He’s ok!” Tony said. “We have to give him back his life!”

“What life?! You know what he’s like! He’s so mixed up and poorly as a teenager. You know that”

“So? He’s so much better than he used to be! We all know that! You know that, don’t you, Clint?”

“Well, yeah” Clint said. “Loki, you’ve gotta do what’s right”

“He’s my son. I just want him to be happy”

“And he can  _be_ happy! He’s happy as a teenager, he  _is_. You need to start seeing this clearly” Tony said.

“I  _am_ seeing this clearly! Tony, you know what he’s like. You know we’ve lost count of the amount of times we’ve watched him break down. You know what it’s like to hold him in your arms and just pray, to anyone or anything, that he’ll stop crying, that  _something_ you do will calm him down. He can’t even speak, Tony. When he’s not at home, he just… freezes. He doesn’t speak at school. He can’t always speak at your parties. He’s always so nervous and scared and uncertain. He’s got PTSD too. Both of you know that! He still has nightmares so bad he wakes up screaming” Loki said, blinking hard to dry the tears in his eyes. “Clint, your kids aren’t the same as Peter. Your kids are healthy, aren’t they? They’re happy and they’re healthy. Aren’t they?”

Clint had to nod. “Yeah, they’re happy and healthy”

“What if they were like big Peter? How would you feel if they went through everything Peter’s been through? If they were as sick as him? How would that make you feel?”

“Loki, you can’t ask that kinda thing”

“How would you feel, Clint?”

Clint sighed. “I’d feel guilty that I couldn’t protect them from it. I’d be devastated to see them hurt, but I’d be there to help them through. The way you two have been with Peter”

“Imagine if your children were like big Peter” Loki said. “And then imagine something happened which made them forget it all. Imagine that all of that hurt just melted away and stopped affecting them. All of the tears, the panic attacks, the nightmares, it all just, disappeared. And you were left with a beautiful, happy, healthy child, untainted by that horrible life. You just have a happy kid. A beautifully, happy child. Having a good life. Imagine something like that happening. Can you honestly say that you would look at your fixed, happy child, and snatch it away from them in favour of giving them back their old life?”

For a while there was silence. All three men could hear their pulse pounding in their ears. The cuckoo clock sounded the hour. Clint waited until the clock went quiet again before opening his mouth.

“I remember coming round once not long after Peter lost his aunt. And he was in a really bad way. Tony, you were holding him like a baby, cradling him, and he was absolutely bawling. He was clinging to you so desperately. You could hear the pain in his cries. His hair was all sticking to his face with sweat, he was shaking, he was just… I know how sick that boy was after the accident. I know all of that. I saw bits of it, and I heard a hell of a lot more” Clint said. “But you know what else? I know how much better he’s got. He’s so much closer to what he was before that accident than we expected, and-”

“But he-”

“I’m not finished” Clint said sharply. “Just think about what he was like the night we all got together to talk about taking down Kindsprengen. Think about the night before that mission, when he was getting excited about seeing us, and sorting out that pizza order and making us laugh and helping out and stuff. He’s a happy kid. He’s been through stuff, but haven’t all of us? You two definitely have. Would you give up the life you’ve built together?”

Loki turned his head away. “We’re not talking about us”

“We kinda are. Listen, you’re a family, all three of you. You’ve been through so much together, built everything up together. You’ve done well with the toddler, everyone can see that. You’ve done well, and yeah, you’ve managed to enjoy it and look on the bright side while you were waiting for Thor and his people in space to sort the reversal. Now you’ve got the reversal… Loki?” Clint waited for Loki to look at him. “It’s time to give Peter his life back”

*


	27. Sick And Tired

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a quick one to say a huge thank you to all of you who are still reading, and especially to all of my regular commenters. Your support honestly means the world to me

-

Loki sat in the reading nook, little Peter fast asleep on his chest. Tony sat down beside him. 

“You can’t stay in here all day”

“What makes you so sure?”

“Loki… You know he’s not got much time left as a toddler. Maybe we should let him go a bit mad, play with all his toys at once and stuff like that. I get he’s having a nap now, but you’ve just kinda been sat with him all day”

“We’ve been reading and doing his flashcards”

Tony sighed. “Give him to me”

“He’s comfortable”

Tony sighed again. He stayed quiet. For a moment, Loki did too.

“…You never even tried to understand”

“Loki, please”

Loki swallowed. “Jo Jo understands”

Tony sighed irritably. “Of course he agrees with you. He-”

“I said he understands” Loki interrupted. “Not that he agrees”

Tony took Peter from him and stood up, much to Loki’s dismay.

“Tony! Give him back”

“No. I want to hold him”

“You want to turn a gun on him too”

“Loki, you’re being deliberately awkward. The reversal gun isn’t like a  _gun_  gun. It’s gonna help him, not hurt him”

Peter squirmed in Tony’s arms as he woke up, whining.

“Hey, bambino. How are you doing?”

Peter looked up at Tony, and across at Loki. “Thirsty”

“Yeah? No problem, kiddo. Let’s go and get you a drink”

-

Loki sat down on the carpet, watching Peter playing with his trains. 

“Hey, darling” he said gently.

“H’y da’y” Peter said indistinctly.

Loki looked at him. “What have you got in your mouth?”

Peter made a run for it, but Loki was fast, and caught him quickly. He forced Peter’s mouth open, retrieving the offending object.

“Is that- is that a  _circuit board_?! TONY!!!”

Tony soon came into the room. “Yes?”

“What the hell is this?” Loki said, holding up the circuit board.

“Oh, I misplaced that earlier!” Tony said, taking it from him. “Thanks, honey. Where did you find it?”

“In our sons mouth”

“Oh” Tony laughed awkwardly. “Sorry”

“You can’t leave things like that lying around when we’ve got a toddler roaming about. You should know that by now”

“I’ve said sorry! Look, no harm done. No harm done, right, Peter?”

“No harm done!” Peter grinned.

Loki sighed and stood up, lifting Peter into his arms. 

“Daddy! Put me down!” Peter protested. 

“Why don’t we go and do some painting?” Loki suggested.

Peter immediately brightened. “Ok!”

“Oh Loki, come on!” Tony whined. 

Loki ignored him, and swept out of the room.

-

Just as Tony expected, Peter was covered in paint when he went into the kitchen later that day.

“Brilliant”

“He’s wearing an apron, Anthony” 

“I hope you haven’t got paint all over the breakfast bar”

“Cleverly observe the newspapers, darling”

“I painted a picture of my rocket!” Peter grinned. “And this is the ducks at the park, and this is us swimming, and this is me and mumma, and this is me with you and daddy!”

“Ooh, aren’t they lovely?” Tony said, looking at Peter’s paintings. “You’re quite the little artist, aren’t you?”

Peter giggled happily. Tony ruffled his hair. 

“Well then, chick. I think you need to go and have a bath while I get tea ready”

“Oh” Peter looked at Loki. “Can I play with my toys?”

“You can play with your bath toys, yes” Loki said. “Take your apron off. We’d better do as we’re told”

Peter took his apron off and lay it down carefully on the table. He jumped down from his seat, blinking up at Loki.

“Bath time?”

Loki nodded and took his hand. 

-

Loki took his time washing Peter, being as gentle and thorough as possible. Peter frowned. Loki wasn’t making eye contact and talking the way he usually did. Something was wrong. 

“Daddy?”

Loki looked at him. “Yes, darling?”

“Are you sad?”

Loki paused. “Maybe a little bit”

“Why?”

“It’s not something I can explain to you. You don’t need to worry about me”

“Do you wanna play with my bath toys? They make me happy when I’m sad”

Loki smiled. “Yeah, let’s play with your toys. We just need to rinse your hair, and then we can play”

“My water wheel!” Peter said. “I want my water wheel!”

Loki finished rinsing him off and then found the water wheel, pressing it to the inside of the bath. He handed Peter a beaker to be getting on with, and found some of the best bath toys for Peter to play with. Peter hummed happily to himself, keeping the wheel turning with cupfuls of water. Loki lined a few boats up on the water and put a little rubber duck on each of them. He found the big duck that quacked when it hit the water, and floated it in the bath. Peter grinned and giggled. He kept pouring water over his water wheel, quacking away to himself, imitating the big duck. Loki stroked the boys wet hair gently.

“I love you”

“I love you too” Peter said, and continued quacking. 

Loki looked at the tiny boy. He looked at his bright eyes and his little interested face. He looked at his little nose. He looked at him, and thought how tiny and perfect every part of him was. He looked at the little smile on the boys face. 

“You are such a good boy, my little darling” he said gently. “You’re such a good boy”

“Can we go to the park tomorrow?”

“We’ll see” Loki sighed. 

“What are we having for tea?”

“I don’t know. Other daddy is cooking”

Peter stopped quacking and dropped the beaker in the bath. 

“Peter?”

“I heard something”

Loki listened, and heard footsteps. A moment or two later, Tony opened the bathroom door.

“Daddy!”

“Hey, chick” Tony said. He looked at Loki. “Tea’ll be ten minutes”

“Ok” Loki said. “We’ll be in soon”

Tony left, and Loki looked at Peter. 

“Time to get out of the bath, chick” Loki said. 

“Do I have to?”

“I’m afraid so. We need to get you dried and into your night clothes so we can go and have dinner” Loki said. “Ok?”

Peter looked at his toys, and reluctantly pulled the bath plug out. Loki carefully lifted him out of the bath and wrapped him up in a warm towel. He picked him up and cradled him close. 

“Let’s get you sorted”

-

Loki and Tony let Peter stay up later than usual that night. After tea they went into the living room and put on a Wallace and Gromit DVD. Loki gave Peter a little bit of fizzy pop in his sippy cup as a special treat. Peter sat on the floor with his drink, rocking his baby doll in its cot with his foot and lining his little toy dinosaurs up on his legs. As usual, his rocket was under his arm.

Tony put an arm round Loki’s shoulders. “I love you, you know”

“I know” Loki said. He sighed. “I love you too. I just don’t like you right now”

Tony sighed. “I know”

“Do you remember that song on Oliver and Company that always made him cry?”

“Once Upon A Time In New York City” Tony nodded. “You put that film on when he was in such a bad way. It still makes him cry now. God, it makes me cry too. I honestly don’t know how we got through losing May. Seeing him cry just absolutely destroys me”

“You used to sing to him” Loki said. “When he was crying, you’d just sing to him. Your voice would crack, but you’d just about manage not to cry. Most of the time, anyway”

“We sent him to school way too soon” Tony said. “He wasn’t ready to go to school. He wasn’t ready for any of it. Do you ever think about how it would have worked out if we’d done things differently?”

Loki nodded. “We were both horrible to him at times throughout that year. I was horrible to him before I went on my sabbatical. You were horrible to him while I was away. We made so many mistakes. How could we expect to look after him when we were mourning so heavily too? Yes, we sent him to school too early. We did lots of things too early… It feels like a nightmare, doesn’t it? If you think back properly? God, it was horrendous. He was absolutely destroyed by what happened. We should have forced him to see a therapist straight away. We should have worked through it with him properly, professionally. Maybe things would have been better if we had”

“Maybe. But… Loki, I know we did so much wrong. But we did our best. We were in a horrible place. Like you say; we were mourning too. Both of us still had other commitments too. And then to suddenly have him full time, and for the worst possible reason? We did do our best, I know we did. We tried to keep him fed, and we kept him clean and dressed and we tried to be there for him whenever he needed us. Sure, there’s things we did that we shouldn’t’ve, and we didn’t address everything we should have, and not in the right way. But you know we did our best”

Loki looked at little Peter, who looked so contented and interested, watching the DVD.

“Do you ever think that our best wasn’t good enough?”

“It was all we had, Loki. We did the best that we could under those circumstances. He got better, didn’t he? He’ll never be the person he was before the accident, we know that. But he’s as good as he’s gonna get”

“It makes me feel sick” Loki said. “Thinking about the way he was, the way he was feeling. Doesn’t it you?”

“Loki…”

“I’m serious, Anthony. Just think about it for a minute. Think about him begging on his knees at May’s funeral, begging her not to leave him. Think about how angry he was in the days following, all of that shouting and screaming. Think about those depressing months that followed. Think about the fact that he was in tears far more often than he was out of them. Think about the day we found out what those kids at the first school had done to him. Think about the day he found out about us and May. Think about how scared he was that year. Think about-”

“Stop it” Tony said. “Please, just stop. I  _know_ it was horrible, I  _know_ it hurts, I  _know_ what it was like. But we got through it. It’s done, Loki. All of that is done with. It might have been hell on Earth, but it’s done with now. It’s all in the past. Peter’s better now”

“The toddler doesn’t remember any of that horrible stuff”

“Loki, don’t. You can’t keep saying this stuff. I love the toddler, I really do, but that doesn’t mean we should keep him this way”

“What if I don’t want teenage Peter any more?”

“Don’t say that. You don’t mean that”

“Don’t I?”

“No, you don’t!” Tony hissed. “…Do you remember the song from Tarzan I used to sing to him?”

Tears filled Loki’s eyes, and his face crumpled. He rested his head in his hand, half-covering his face.

“I can’t do this”

Tony held him tighter. “I used to sing it to you, too”

“Don’t do this”

“I love you, Loki. I love both of you so much. You’ve been great with the toddler, but you  _know_ we can’t keep him like this. We need to give our teenage son his life back. All the horrible memories, yes, but all the good ones too. Think about him laughing, Loki. Think about his smile, and his jokes, and the way it feels when he wriggles under your arm for a hug. Think about how excited he is when he tells us about his patrols or when he’s been round at one of the Bunnies places. Think about how proud we feel when we see him win his swim competitions… Remember the look on his face when we told him we wanted to adopt him”

Loki turned and buried his face in Tony’s chest. “I can’t let go of this little boy”

“It’s not goodbye. It’s just a flash, and then we’ll have a slightly heavier son to hold. The son we adopted. The one who called us dad first”

“You’ve been dad far longer than I have”

“That doesn’t make him any less your son. You know that” Tony rested his mouth against Loki’s head. 

“You’ve always been his favourite. You always will be”

“He’s still your son too. You’re still daddy Loki… I know you’re scared”

Loki swallowed hard. “We’ve got the chance to give our son a life where he’s happy. This little boy is  _happy_ , he’s never been anything but happy. How can you think it’s wrong to give him this chance?”

“Would you give up your life for one where you’ve never been hurt?”

“He’s not giving up anything. He’s still got us”

“What about his friends? Loki, he doesn’t even remember May”

Loki just buried himself further into Tony’s chest and clung to him. Tony held him tight.

“Can I tell you a secret?”

Loki didn’t say anything. Tony took a minute. He sighed, and spoke:

“I’m scared too”

-

Loki waited until Tony was fast asleep, and then snuck into Peter’s room. Much to his surprise, the toddler was awake. He was sat up in bed, holding his rocket in both hands and looking thoughtful.

“Hello, darling” Loki said gently. “Are you ok?”

“I woke up” Peter said. “Do you think daddy will make me a real rocket if I ask him to?”

Loki blinked hard to dry the tears that had welled in his eyes. He was glad of the night light, as the blue glow probably did a good job of hiding his emotions. He sat down on the edge of the bed. 

“It’s late, my darling” he said. “I think you should try to go back to sleep”

“Oh” Peter said. “Ok. Are we going to the park tomorrow?”

Loki swallowed. “We’ll see”

Peter looked at his rocket and set it aside. He held his arms up to Loki.

“Sleepover?”

“What do you mean?” Loki asked, lifting the toddler into his arms and holding him close, breathing in his scent.

“You stay in my room tonight”

“Of course, if that’s what you want”

“Yep” Peter said. “My bed is  _enormous_ , so there’s room for you too!”

“So I see. Well then” 

Loki pulled the covers back and climbed into bed. He set little Peter down on his back and gave him his rocket, and then lay down on his side beside him. Peter wriggled closer, pressing his side against Loki’s chest. Loki propped himself up on his elbow, looking down at the boy.

“Comfortable?”

“Mm” Peter nodded, hugging his rocket against his chest. “If we don’t go to the park tomorrow, can we go swimming instead?”

“We’ll see. You need to go to sleep now”

Loki stroked the boys fluffy hair gently. Peter looked up at him, yawning so that his nose wrinkled.

“I think you’re tired” Loki said gently.

He lay down properly, pulling the covers over them and putting an arm round Peter, holding him close. 

“Goodnight, daddy”

“Goodnight, darling”

Peter closed his eyes and soon fell asleep. Loki stayed with him, listening to the soft sounds of him breathing, and stroking his hair and face gently. He could hear the clock ticking on the wall, and it made his heart thump harder still. He felt so sick. He kissed Peter’s cheek gently.

He couldn’t sleep for ages. For a long time he just lay there, holding Peter close, choking back tears, and wishing morning would never come.

*


	28. Heartaches

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter hasn't worked out as well as I was hoping. Somehow I just couldn't get the feel of it right, but I hope it (and the emotions therein) come across ok, or at least better than I think they will! Thank you again to all of my loyal readers

-

Morning did come. Loki had managed to sleep a little bit, but now he was awake, lying on his back with Peter snuggled up on his chest, still asleep. He could hear the clock ticking, and he could hear the birds outside, as well as the distant sounds of early morning traffic. He could hear his pulse beating in his ears too, and that was the loudest sound of all. 

-

Tony asked Loki to do breakfast while he got Peter dressed. Loki blinked at them when they joined him in the kitchen.

“Are those..?”

“The clothes he wore that day? Yeah”

Loki swallowed. “Why?”

“They look good on him”

“That’s not your real reason” Loki said, wincing. His chest hurt. “I’m not ready to do this”

“I don’t care. It’s happening, no matter what”

“Just a few more days, Anthony. That’s all I ask. We can talk about this”

“Is that food nearly ready?”

Loki stayed quiet and served breakfast, keeping his eyes cast down for the most part.

“Thank you, daddy!” Peter grinned. “My dinosaur plate!”

“Yes, your dinosaur plate” Loki said. “And your dinosaur cutlery, and even one of your dinosaur cups”

Peter giggled and picked up his fork. Loki sat down beside him, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek. 

“Loki?”

“Mm?”

“How are you doing?”

Loki shrugged, picking up his fork. It should be perfectly obvious how he was doing. His heart was thudding and he felt hollow and shaky inside, and he was certain that much was evident. 

“Daddy?”

Loki cleared his throat. “Yes, sweetheart?”

“Where are we going today?” Peter asked. “Park or swimming?”

“We’ll see”

“You said that yesterday!” Peter pouted. “I wanna go out!”

“Later, darling” Tony said. “Finish your breakfast”

-

Peter was happily pushing his baby doll round the corridors in its buggy when he heard the front door open. He left his baby buggy and leant against the seal at the top of the stairs. His face lit up when he saw who it was.

“Uncle Thor!”

Thor put a finger to his lips. Peter gasped and copied him. He stepped back, waiting till Thor reached the landing before holding his arms up to him.

“Hi!”

“Hello, little Peter” Thor smiled, lifting him up for a cuddle. “What are you up to today?”

“I’m taking my baby for a walk!” Peter said. “You can put me down now: I must get back to it”

Thor laughed and did as he was asked. Peter grabbed his buggy. 

“Daddies are in the living room” he said. “I didn’t know you were coming today!”

“I did tell your daddies” Thor said, walking with him. “How’s your baby today?”

“She’s ok” Peter said. “We’re waiting”

“Oh. What for?”

“Daddy hasn’t said if we’re going to the park or swimming today. We want to go out”

“Oh, I see” Thor said. “Let’s go and join your daddies and then we’ll see how the day goes”

“Daddy keeps saying that” Peter said, wrinkling his nose. “I need to find my drink. I’ll join you in a minute”

Thor chuckled. “See you in a minute then”

-

It was obvious as soon as Thor went into the living room that Loki wasn’t in there by choice.

“Good afternoon” Thor said.

Tony smiled at him. “Hey, Thor. Have you passed the kid on the way in?”

“Yes. He said he had to find his drink but would just us in a minute”

Tony shook his head fondly. “He’s a funny kid”

“How are you, Loki?” Thor asked.

Loki merely narrowed his eyes at him. He pulled away from Tony and stood up.

“Loki? Hey, where are you going?”

Loki ignored him and walked out. Tony sighed. 

“It’s better to just leave him" he said. “He’s not feeling great”

“I can imagine. He looks so pale and tired”

“Mm. His heart was going a mile a minute just now, too. I know he’s on the wrong side of the table, but I do feel a bit sorry for him. His heart is in the right place, I suppose”

“Yes, poor Loki. How are you feeling about it all?”

“You know, I think I’m gonna miss the toddler. But he never should’ve ended up this way, and I need my teenager back. It’s gonna be a hard day. But it’ll be worth it… right?”

Thor squeezed his hand. “We’ve spent hours going over this. We’re doing the right thing”

Tony squeezed Thor’s hand back. “I know”

-

Loki found Peter in the back room, searching for his cup, with his baby doll balanced on his hip.

“Everything ok, my darling?” Loki asked gently.

Peter looked up. “I can’t find my drink!”

“Did daddy give you a cup after lunch?”

Peter shook his head.

“I don’t think you’ve got one on the go, then” Loki said. “Why don’t we go to the kitchen and sort you one?”

Peter nodded. “Can I leave the buggy in here?”

“Of course” Loki said. “Come on”

Peter trotted after him to the kitchen.

“Which cup would you like, darling?” 

“Dinosaur” Peter said. “Where’s my rocket?”

“In the living room, chicken” Loki said, filling one of Peter’s dinosaur sippy cups with orangeade. “Would you like a little snack or anything while we’re in here? You could have something from my special cupboard if you like?”

“Um…” Peter shook his head. “No, I’m not hungry”

“Ok, darling” 

Loki handed him his sippy cup. Peter took it with one hand so he didn’t have to put down his baby to drink. Loki watched him for a moment, biting his thumb.

“I like fizzy orange” Peter said, lowering his cup. “Can we go and see uncle Thor now?”

“If you like…”

Peter nodded. “I like uncle Thor!” 

“Uncle Thor likes you too” 

“Are my other uncles coming?”

“Not today, darling” Loki said. “Maybe some time in the next few weeks”

“Oh. What about mumma?”

“I don’t know”

“Oh”

“Oh indeed. What do you want to do now?”

“See uncle Thor!” Peter said. “I said that”

“Of course. Sorry. Come along, darling. Maybe you can play a game with him”

“Yes!” Peter grinned, walking along at his side. “I wanna play with my marble run! Can I play with my marble run?”

“Of course you can. You can play with whatever you like”

-

Peter demanded Loki set up his marble run for him. He hadn’t quite mastered the art of it himself, but Loki always set it up so that it zigzagged perfectly. Loki sat sorting the marbles into colour groups while Peter told Thor how to use the marble run.

“You put the marbles in the top. You can use this side or this side, or both at the same time! An’ then you just let go and it goes down to the bottom” Peter said, picking up a blue marble and dropping it in the top of the marble run.

They watched as the marble zigzagged down and shot out of the bottom of the run. Peter grinned at Thor, handing him a marble.

“Now you try!” 

“Well, since you’re offering” Thor dropped the marble in the run.

“It’s fun, see? It’s fun!”

“It’s quite satisfying to watch, isn’t it?” Thor said. 

“You wanna know what’s more fun?” 

“What’s more fun?”

Peter picked up two fistfuls of marbles and dropped them in the run. He waited until there was a marble on each level, and then pushed it over so that it fell with a clatter, the marbles scattering in all directions. Peter laughed, clapping his little hands.

“Now now, Peter, what have I told you about that?” Tony said sharply. 

Peter looked shocked for a moment, and then hung his head. He looked up at Tony.

“No more marble run?”

“Play with something else if you can’t play sensibly” Tony said.

Peter looked at Thor, shook his head, and sighed. “Parents”

Thor burst out laughing and ruffled the boys hair roughly. “You definitely take after your dads, little boy!”

He helped Peter tidy away the marbles and the marble run. Peter went over to his toy boxes, rifling through. Thor looked at Tony and Loki.

“Are you ready?”

“Let him play” Loki snapped. 

Thor nodded. Peter came back over to them, struggling with his box of farm animals. Thor took the box from him.

“Woah there, little one. You’ll drop them if you’re not careful”

“We’re gonna play farm soon” Peter said. “There’s fences and hedges and trees and everything!”

“I’ll help you set it up if you like” Thor offered.

“I wanna paint first!” 

“No, Peter” Tony said. “You painted yesterday”

“I wanna paint again! PLEASE!”

“No”

“PLEASE!!”

“Ok, just for a little bit” Loki said before Tony could say no again. “Let’s go to the kitchen”

-

Tony told Peter he could only have half an hour of painting time. Peter accepted that. He was happy messing about with his paints. Thor sat and painted with him while his parents stayed close by, tidying the kitchen and having a drink.

“Peter, your half an hour is almost up” Tony said after twenty-five minutes. “I think you’ve got time to do one more painting”

“Oh” Peter said. “Ok. I know EXACTLY what I’m gonna do!”

Peter stuck his brush in the yellow paint and started painting his hand.

“Peter!”

“No, leave him” Loki said. “He’s creating”

They watched as Peter layered the paint on and pressed his hand to the paper. Once he’d done that, he dipped the brush back into the yellow paint, painted his other hand, and pressed that to the paper, next to the first hand print. Then he rinsed his brush, dipped it in the red paint, and shakily wrote ‘Peter’ underneath the hand prints. He put his brush down, and grinned at Tony.

“Finished!” 

Tony ruffled the boys hair. “Let’s get you cleaned up”

Loki looked at the tiny hand prints. He’d done something similar with Peter weeks ago, and he was surprised the boy remembered. He looked at the paper, not sure how he was feeling.

“Loki?” Thor said gently. “Are you ok?”

Loki turned away quickly, pretending he had a text to answer. Thor didn’t push it.

Tony helped Peter wash all the paint off his skin and got him out of his painting apron.

“Tony?” Thor said.

“Yeah?” Tony said, passing Peter over to Loki.

“I think we need to think about moving things along”

“Yeah, of course” Tony nodded. He looked at Loki. “That’s fine, isn’t it, Loki?”

Loki held Peter closer, kissing him on the forehead. All of a sudden he felt sick again, much worse than before. He could feel himself shaking, and those silly tears were back in his eyes. He took a deep breath. This day was going too quickly.

-

Peter wanted to set up his farm and play, but Tony took him from Loki and kept hold of him. 

“I wanna play!” Peter squeaked, struggling. “I want to play!!”

“No, darling. Let’s have a cuddle” Tony said. “Let’s have a lovely cuddle, my little bambi-looking baby boy”

Peter pouted, wriggling. “Ok, but I want my rocket!”

Tony found it and gave it to him. “There. Now, shall we have that cuddle?”

Peter still looked a little unsure, but he settled against Tony, sighing relatively contentedly. He rested his cheek against Tony’s chest. Tony held him close, one hand on his head, the other on his lower back. 

“I love you, little boy” he said. “You’re a little sweetheart”

Peter lay against Tony’s chest. He felt funny. Why wasn’t Tony letting him play? Why did he sound so sad? Loki was sad too. Even Thor seemed a bit sad. Peter didn’t know why, and he wasn’t entirely sure if he was right, but he could definitely sense that something was up. He held tight to his rocket with one hand. 

“God, I’m starting to feel funny” Tony said, breathing in. “I’m gonna miss this”

“Let’s put it off then” Loki tried. “We’ve talked about this so much. There’s options, there’s so many reasons he can stay this way. We don’t have to do this”

“Yes, we do. We really do” Tony said, resting his head against Peter’s. “I love him, but you know what has to happen”

Tony held Peter for a long time, talking softly to him, recounting their days out and good memories, and telling him how important he was. It was so much quieter than usual. Peter was used to the radio and music playing all the time, but the speakers had been switched off today. It felt strange. 

“Ok bambino” Tony said gently. 

He looked at Loki, who was sat by his side. He was looking at him, but his eyes didn’t seem to be focusing. Tony kissed Peter firmly on the cheek, squeezing him tight.

“Why don’t you go cuddle other daddy for a while? There’s a good boy”

Peter didn’t lie against Loki’s chest when he was handed over: he put his hands on Loki’s chest so he could look at him.

“Daddy?” he said, feeling uncertain and worried. “My tummy hurts”

Loki sighed, stroking Peter’s hair gently. “I know darling. Mine does too”

“Will a cuddle make it feel better?”

“Maybe” Tears filled his eyes, and he had a hard time keeping his voice strong. “Shall we give it a try?” 

Peter nodded and lay against Loki’s chest. He looked at Tony for a moment, and then turned his head the other way. Loki was trembling, and he shook when he kissed the boys head, but he held him tight, strong and loving. Peter snuggled into him, bringing his rocket close and rubbing his nose against the cone of the rocket. Loki spoke to him, telling him he loved him more than anything, that he’d do anything for him, and that he always wanted what was best for him. Peter listened to the sound of Loki’s heart beating, and although it was fast, it was regular, and that, coupled with Loki’s loving words, soon soothed him.

-

After half an hour, Tony put an arm round Loki’s shoulders, holding him tight and resting a hand on Peter’s back. Ten minutes after that, Thor retrieved his shoulder bag, setting it on the coffee table. He stood up, went over, and kissed little Peter on the head. He rested a hand on Loki’s shoulder.

“Loki” he said softly. 

Loki opened his eyes and looked at Thor. He knew what he was saying, without the words being uttered. He took a deep breath and nodded, a single tear escaping and dripping down his cheek. He sat Peter up and kissed him hard on the cheek.

“I love you” he said, his voice cracking. “I love you so much. Me and daddy, we love you more than anything else in the world”

Peter blinked at him, and smiled, blissfully unaware. “I love you too! You’re my daddies!”

Loki pulled Peter close again. He shook Tony’s arm off him and stood up. Thor squeezed his shoulder.

“Do you mind if I give him a cuddle?”

Loki nodded and handed him over.

“Hi again, uncle Thor!” Peter smiled up at him. “Are we going to the park now?”

“We’re going to play a little game” Thor said, cuddling him close and kissing his cheek.

“Oh!” Peter’s face lit up. “Ok! I like games! Are we playing farm?”

“No, this is another game”

Loki took Peter back from Thor, hugging him close. He took a deep breath. He felt so sick. He was shaking and trying so hard not to cry. His eyes were watering and his throat was tight. He couldn’t do this. He could let this little boy be torn away and sent back to his teenage life and all the horrible memories that went with it.

“Loki” Thor said. “Why don’t you settle him?”

“I can’t”

“Loki”

“I can’t let him go. He’s so happy this way”

Tony stood up. “Darling, we’ve been through this. It’s time”

“We’re gonna play a game!” Little Peter said. “Game time, game time! You need to put me down!”

“You need to settle on the sofa, my son” Tony said. “Daddy’s going to put you down now. Isn’t that right, daddy?”

Loki took a very deep breath and carefully set Peter down on the end of the sofa, nestled in the cushions. Peter settled happily, positioning his rocket carefully beside him and waiting to find out what the game would be. Loki knelt down and kissed him on the nose. He couldn’t speak. He felt a hand on his shoulder, and Tony knelt down beside him. He stroked Peter’s cheek gently.

“I love you”

“I love you too, daddy!”

Tony kissed Peter on the cheek, and took Loki’s hand.

“I love you, my little darling” Loki said thickly.

Peter giggled. They’d both said it a lot today. “I love you too! I love you, I love you, I love you!” 

Loki gave Peter another little kiss on the nose, and then let Tony lead him back over to his seat to sit down. He held his hand tight. Peter looked up at Thor.

“I love you! Now is it time to play the game?”

“And I love you! Yes, now it’s time to play a little game” Thor said. “Ok?”

“Ok!” Peter giggled. “Let’s play a game! Game time!”

“How are you feeling? Happy?”

“I’m happy!” Peter giggled. “Happy, happy, happy!”

“I want you to close your eyes, and count to twenty in your head. Ok?”

Peter nodded. “I can do that!” he exclaimed, and covered his eyes with his hands. 

Thor carefully reached into his shoulder bag, pulling out the reversal gun. A sob escaped Loki as soon as he set eyes on it.

“Please don’t do this. I can’t do this-!”

Tony held Loki tight, trying to keep him quiet. Thor didn’t look at them. He felt a bit sick too, and the horrible, strained, desperate look on his brothers face was too much to bear. He was hurting so much already. But everyone knew what had to be done, whether Loki liked it or not.

Thor raised the reversal gun, pointing it at the oblivious toddler, who was counting quietly under his breath. He took a deep breath, taking one last look at the little boy, and he pulled the trigger. 

*


	29. Now I Am Here

-

There was a blinding flash when the trigger was pulled. The fog cleared, and there, looking dazed and confused and a little mixed up, was Peter. No longer the little toddler Peter; but big, normal, regular, the-way-he-should-be, teenager Peter. 

Tony stared at him, hands over his mouth, tears filling his eyes.

“…Peter?”

Peter looked at him, brow slightly furrowed. Tony stood up, stepping closer to him. He reached out a hand somewhat cautiously, touching Peter’s face gently, as though checking he was real.

“It worked..! I can’t believe it really worked! My son!”

Tony threw his arms round Peter, hugging him close, kissing him hard on the cheek, holding him desperately.

“My son! I’ve got my son back!” Tony cried, and then burst into tears. “I missed you so much!”

Loki started crying too, but not for the same reason. He fled the room, refusing to look. Tony didn’t notice. He cradled Peter in his arms, crying into his shoulder, kissing him firmly on the cheek and telling him he loved him and saying how relieved he was to have him back. Peter didn’t say anything, but he slowly hugged Tony back. He felt weird. He didn’t know what was going on.

“I love you” Tony pulled back a little. “Loki, look, he- Loki?”

Tony turned to Thor, and the look on his face confirmed his suspicions. Thor smiled slightly. He rested a hand on Peter’s head for a moment and chucked him under the chin.

“I’m going to go and talk to Loki” he said. 

“Ok” Tony nodded.

Thor left the room, and Tony pulled Peter close again, squeezing him tight. He took a deep breath, trying to stop crying. 

“Sorry darling” he said. “I’m just emotional. I love you so much, you know that, don’t you?”

Peter swallowed hard. “I-I love you too”

If anything, that made Tony cry more. He held him ever tighter and kissed him hard. 

“My darling boy…”

Peter squirmed, and Tony loosened his grip.

“Peter? Hey, what’s up, kiddo? Was I hurting you?”

“I’m gonna go and see daddy”

“Wait, Peter-”

Peter pulled away from him. “I want daddy”

He stood up - and his legs gave out. Tony jumped up and grabbed him quickly before he could fall and hurt himself.

“Woah, woah, you’re ok” Tony said, setting him back on the sofa. “Hey, hey hey hey, shh! You’re ok”

“I-I don’t know what happened..!”

“Hey, shh, don’t look so worried! It’s ok!” Tony sat down beside him, giving him a cuddle. “You probably just need to adjust a little bit. You need to get used to being big again”

Peter looked at his hands. “I… I’m big again… I’m sorry”

“What? Hey, oh darling! What are you sorry for?”

“It’s my fault!” Peter said. “If I hadn’t picked up Kindsprengen’s gun, I-”

“No, darling! No, hey, it’s not your fault! It was  _my_ fault; I made you jump. I made you jump and you dropped the gun and that’s when you pressed the trigger. If it was anyone’s fault, it was mine” Tony kissed Peter’s cheek hard. “Shh. It doesn’t matter; it’s all over and done with now. We got the reversal, and you’re back! You’re back now. Everything is back to normal”

Peter shook his head. Nothing about this felt normal. He felt so weird. It was like he’d fainted, and then woke up big again. He was a toddler just a few minutes ago. Now he was his usual self, and he was so confused. He felt strange and shaky and confused and mixed up.

“Daddy…”

Tony kept an arm round Peter, supporting him. “Take it slow, darling. That’s it, you keep hold of me. There you go”

Tony helped Peter to his feet without incident. He was a little wobbly, but he didn’t seem to be at risk of falling. Peter looked down at himself, leaning against Tony. He felt dreadfully high up. He wanted Loki. Maybe he’d make him feel a bit better.

-

Loki wasn’t in a good way. He didn’t appreciate Thor’s company. There was a knock on the bedroom door, and the door opened, which only added to his anger. He growled.

“What the hell do you want?!” he snapped.

“Loki!” Tony glowered at him, holding Peter protectively. “Your son wants you”

Loki looked at Peter through his tears. He looked at the teenager stood where the toddler should be standing. He looked at his oh-so-familiar, but oh-so-different appearance; his soft curls, his thoughtful puppy-dog eyes, the way he was biting his thumb…

“Learn how to knock!” Loki shouted. “How many god-damn times do I have to say it?! I’ve been saying it for years; knock and wait before opening my door! How is this something you’ve failed to grasp?!”

“Hey, don’t shout at him!” Tony snapped. “Why, he-”

Peter stared at Loki, his heart thudding. He took a step back, although Tony’s arm was still tight round him, so he couldn’t move much. Why was Loki so angry? It didn’t make any sense. Sure, he wasn’t always great at remembering to wait for a response before opening his door, but he usually just shook his head and sighed at him. So why was he shouting at him this time?? What was different? He wasn’t just angry though:- Peter could see the tears in his eyes, the traces on his cheeks, and he could hear the sobs he wasn’t quite managing to choke back. 

“I said get out!” Loki snapped, and he was suddenly in front of them.

“Daddy-!”

“Don’t call me that!” Loki shouted. “Leave me alone!”

Tony’s protective instincts kicked in, and he wisely backed out onto the corridor with Peter safe in his arms before they could be physically pushed out. The door slammed shut behind them. 

Peter looked at the door, the sound of it slamming still vibrating round the hallway. Suddenly everything seemed so loud, so overwhelmingly, and he burst into tears, covering his face with his hands. 

“No! Oh darling, hey, don’t cry!” Tony begged, pulling Peter close. “Don’t cry! Just ignore him; he’s being silly! Oh darling!”

“I just wanted a cuddle!” Peter sobbed. “I don’t understand! He’s so cross with me! Why is he so angry? I just wanted a cuddle!”

“He’s being silly. Hey, oh sweetheart,  _darling_! Hey, I’ve got you. Shh, I’ve got you. Let’s go to your room, ok?” 

“My legs feel all funny…” 

“Then I’ll carry you” Tony said, and he lifted the boy into his arms.

-

“You know” Tony said after he’d closed Peter’s bedroom door behind them. “After four and a half months of carrying around a toddler, you feel kinda heavy”

Peter swallowed hard, still crying. “W-well, after four and a half months of being a toddler, you seem kinda small”

Tony laughed, gently setting Peter down on the bed. Peter wiped his eyes on his sleeve and looked up at him.

“…Was it really that long?”

Tony nodded, sitting down beside him. “Yeah, it was. Sorting the reversal took longer than we expected it to”

Peter leant against him. Tony put an arm round him and rested his cheek against Peter’s head.

“Shh, darling. Please stop crying. You’re breaking my heart”

“Everything just feels so weird!” Peter whimpered. “I don’t know what’s going on!”

“It must be super weird, I get that… What do you want to do?”

“I wanna go to sleep!”

Tony pulled back slightly, looking at him. “Are you sure?”

“I’m so tired. I just wanna go to sleep. I’ll feel better if I do. You gotta, you gotta sleep on things sometimes, right?”

Tony nodded slightly. “Right… Do you need anything? Anything you want, anything at all, I’ll get it for you”

Peter’s eyes darted, and he started crying harder. “I want my rocket!”

“Y-you want your rocket?” Tony blinked. “Hey, shh. Ok, ok, I’ll go and get your rocket. Try and calm down for me. I won’t be long”

-

Tony went and retrieved the rocket from where it had been left on the sofa. Regular Peter had been a fan of cuddlies for a while, but the toy seal Tony had bought him in Northumberland had always been his favourite. Tony hadn’t really considered the possibility that he’d want for his little-kid toys after being turned back into a teenager. Still, he’d said he’d do anything for him, so he picked up the rocket and went back to Peter’s room. The poor boy was still crying just as hard as when he’d left him. 

“Oh sweetheart” Tony sighed.

He handed Peter the rocket. Peter hugged it close, rubbing his nose against the cone of the rocket, and gradually started to quieten. Tony sat beside him and cuddled him until he went completely quiet.

“Alright darling. There now” he said. “Nap time?”

Peter nodded.

“Alright, let’s get you settled. Um… do you want me to stay with you?”

“I think I need some alone time”

“Ok. Do you want me to help get you settled?”

Peter nodded. Tony pulled the covers back and moved him to the middle of the bed. Peter shifted onto the right side of the bed and Tony immediately moved him back.

“No, darling. Stay in the middle”

“Why?”

Tony looked down at him, and then slowly removed his hands from his shoulders.

“No reason…” he shook his head slightly. “Sorry. It’s just, while you’ve been small… Never mind. Settle wherever you like, kiddo”

Peter looked at him uncertainly and then shifted to the right side of the bed and settled down on his side, like he usually did. He looked at the bedside table, and quickly propped himself up on his elbow.

“What’s the matter, chick?”

Peter looked at him. “Where’s my photo?”

“What?”

“My photo! The photo of me and May, from her office box! Where is it?!”

“Hey, it’s ok, calm down” Tony said. “Just a minute”

He unclipped the cardboard case on the chest of drawers and took out the frame. He wiped the dust off with his sleeve and carefully set it back on the bedside table. 

Peter breathed out, relieved. “Why did you move it?”

“We didn’t want it to get broken” Tony said. He shifted awkwardly, and decided to be honest. “…While you were small, well, you didn’t remember her”

“Oh”

“Oh indeed…”

Peter lay down, cuddling his rocket close. Tony tucked him in properly and kissed him on the temple.

“Sleep tight, chick. You know where I am if you need me” 

Peter sat up when Tony reached the door. 

“Dad?”

Tony stopped. “Yes, darling?”

“I-I think I’ve changed my mind” Peter said. “Can you stay with me?”

“Of course I can”

Tony breathed out. He was hoping Peter would say that. He pushed the door closed and went back over to the bed, carefully clambering over Peter and struggling under the covers beside him. Peter turned onto his other side so that he was facing him.

“Do you want this?” Tony asked, holding up Peter’s old snowy seal toy.

Peter nodded slightly and let Tony tuck the seal under his arm. 

“…Dad, I feel a bit sick”

“Are you hungry?”

“I don’t think so”

“Maybe a little sleep will help. I think I could do with a nap too” Tony said, putting an arm round Peter and pulling him close. “We’ll see how you feel when you wake up, and then we’ll talk about everything that’s happened”

Peter settled down with his rocket and seal, resting his forehead against Tony’s chest.

“Dad?”

“Hm?”

“Is daddy ok?”

“We’ll talk when you wake up. Sleep time, bambino”

Peter looked at him, his brow furrowing. He didn’t say anything. Everything still felt very overwhelming. His memories were all mixed up and hazy, like a video on fast-forward, and his thoughts weren’t making any sense. But he knew one thing: Tony had never called him ‘bambino’ before. 

-

When Peter woke up a couple of hours later, Tony was still fast asleep. He lay there for a moment, trying to work out what he was feeling. He didn’t feel sick anymore, and he didn’t feel quite so mixed up. He’d turned onto his back in his sleep, so at least now he could look around without moving. He looked at the photo of him and May on the bedside table. Other than that, the bedside table was much the same as always, only instead of the usual glass tumbler and jug, there was a dinosaur beaker and a plastic jug with a lid. He surveyed the room. It was still undeniably his bedroom, but there was a lot of different things: kids clothes in boxes, a little dressing gown on the back of the door, a little pair of slippers by the bed; toys and crayons and kids book on the floor, and for some reason, his elephant was wearing a scarf and had a toy monkey sat on its back. 

Peter’s memories started to settle, and as he looked around the room, everything became both clearer, and stranger. His toddler memories all flooded back. He’d played with these toys. He’d worn these clothes. He’d done the dot-to-dots stacked by the desk. He’d messed about with his elephant set up and balanced a toy dog in a toy cage on the edge of the sink by the window. And Tony  _had_ called him ‘bambino’ - when he was little. He knew all this. But he was himself now; a teenager. But… when he’d woken up that morning, he’d been a toddler. Peter reached for his phone instinctively, but of course it wasn’t under his pillow. He didn’t know where it would be. He craned his head, looking at the clock on the windowsill. It was nearly five in the evening. He wasn’t too sure when he’d come into his room, but he had a feeling he must have been zapped with the reversal no more than about three hours ago. That felt weird to think about. It all felt weird to think about. He’d really been turned into a toddler. He’d actually lived as a toddler for four and a half months. 

Peter slipped out from under Tony’s arm, careful not to wake him. He climbed out of bed. He felt a bit wobbly on his feet, but he tried to ignore it, deciding he’d probably get used to it. Like Tony had said; maybe he just needed a bit of time to adjust. He carefully slipped out of his room. He paused outside Loki’s room for a moment. He couldn’t hear any sound coming from the other side of the door. He wasn’t sure whether Thor was still there or not. He touched the wood gently, and then withdrew it, remembering how he was shouted at earlier. He didn’t know why that had happened, but he didn’t want to risk a repeat. He sighed and carried on down the hallway. He needed to think.

-

Peter wandered round the house, feeling oddly dazed. He felt like he shouldn’t be there, the same way he’d felt way back when he’d first set foot in the Stark household. He paused at the top of the stairs. There was a little dinosaur raincoat on the chair on the landing, and a little pair of trainers. Peter looked down the stairs and took a step forward, hitting the seal at the top of the stairs. He looked surprised for a moment, before remembering that Loki had put it up as a safety measure. He pressed against the seal with both hands. He checked behind him, and then started climbing up the seal. It was something he was sure Loki still hadn’t caught on to; the fact that he could climb the seals like a wall with his spiderman abilities. It still felt weird, crawling on something clearer than glass, even though he’d done it so many times before. Sometimes Loki left a gap in the seal, usually at the top. He kept climbing and when he reached the ceiling, the seal was still intact. He rested his ear against it, concentrating, and tapped it gently. He could just about see and hear the vibrations carrying on from the wall closest to him to the wall over the other side. It looked like downstairs was out of bounds to him for a while longer at least. He sighed and jumped down, landing light on his feet on the landing. Well, the effects of that horrible spider bite were still intact. That was one thing, anyway. He knew he hadn’t had any of those abilities while he was a toddler. He wasn’t sure why. He touched his head, feeling the cuts on his forehead and the grazes on his chin. These were the injuries he’d sustained in the fight against Kindsprengen. He wasn’t sure why they’d popped up again now. Why hadn’t they passed on to him when he’d been turned into a toddler? Why hadn’t they healed? These weren’t questions he had an answer to.

He walked into the living room. He looked at the toy boxes lined up by the wall. He looked at the box of farm animals by the sofa that he hadn’t gotten round to playing with earlier, before he’d been zapped with the reversal. He looked at the little painted suncatchers hanging in the window and the gel clings on the glass. He looked at the baby doll sat in its toy highchair. He looked at the discarded colouring books and crayons under the coffee table, and the toy dinosaurs lined up on the telly table.

He went into the back room. He looked at the little fleecy blanket on the futon where he’d napped every day for the past four and a half months. He looked at the toy baby buggy he’d left in there earlier that day. He felt weird. The buggy hadn’t seemed so tiny when he’d left it there.

He went to the kitchen. He looked at the plastic kids crockery and cutlery on the draining board. He looked at the stack of sippy cups on the side and the drawings and paintings pinned on the fridge. He went over to the breakfast bar. He looked at the tiny apron draped over one of the stools. He looked at the paint bottles and paint brushes and the cups of dirty paint water. He glanced at the papers scattered about the table, his eyes coming to rest on his last work of the day. He looked at the shaky printing of his name. He looked at the tiny yellow handprints. Was this real? Were these handprints really his? Had he really done this just mere hours ago? He placed his right hand over one of the tiny yellow handprints. Had he really been that small? He’d actually been a toddler, painting away, just a few hours ago. How was he supposed to get his head around that?

-

“Peter?”

Peter spun round quickly. “Dad..!”

“So this is where you got to! Everything ok?”

“I don’t know” he looked back at the paintings on the table. “Did I really do these?”

Tony put an arm round him, guiding him away from the breakfast bar. 

“Why don’t you, uh, just stand over here?” Tony said. “I’m just going to tidy all this away”

Peter didn’t argue. He stood leaning against the kitchen unit for support, watching Tony tidying everything away. Once the breakfast bar was clear, Tony gestured to him. 

“Come over here, son. You look shaky”

“I’ve felt like I’m, like… Like I’m gonna fall over” Peter said. “Since I stood up”

Tony quickly went over and picked him up, making him jump. 

“Hey, hey, shh! Darling, it’s ok” Tony said. “I’ve got you, don’t worry”

“S-sorry, I just-”

“Hey, don’t apologise” Tony said, carefully setting him down on his usual seat at the breakfast bar. “I’m sorry I made you jump. I just don’t want you falling over”

Peter didn’t say anything.

“You worried me, darling” Tony said. “When I woke up and you’d disappeared, I… I was worried that we hadn’t really managed to change you back”

Peter still didn’t say anything. Tony hugged him close, and he let him. He kept his face hidden, not quite hugging him back. 

“Dad?”

“Yes, darling?”

“I need a wee”

“Oh” Tony let go of him. “Ok, let’s-”

“I don’t need you to take me”

“Oh” Tony nodded. “Of course you don’t. I need to make a phone call, anyway, so…”

-

Peter was gone for a pretty long time. Tony went to track him down, and found him staring at Loki’s phone in the hallway. 

“Peter?”

Peter looked up quickly. 

“Darling, what is it?” Tony asked, going over to him. “What are you looking at?”

Peter swallowed and slowly turned Loki’s phone towards Tony. It was just Loki’s lock screen - but his lock screen was a picture of toddler Peter. 

“This is me?”

Tony took the phone from him and set it down on the sideboard. 

“Leave your father’s phone alone” he said. “Come on, chick: let’s get you a drink”

-

Loki paused and glanced over when Tony and Peter came into the kitchen. He didn’t say anything, but he got another mug down from the cupboard when he turned back to the boiling kettle. Tony sat Peter down at the breakfast bar and ruffled his hair gently. He then went and leant against the unit to the right of the oven, so he was somewhere in the middle of Loki and Peter. He cleared his throat.

“You alright, Loki?”

“Perfectly alright, Anthony” Loki said, although his voice was rather strained.

“Has your brother gone?”

Loki nodded slightly, picking up the now-boiled kettle and pouring water into both mugs. Tony didn’t try speaking to him again just yet. He kept an eye on him, watching him closely. Peter did too. Peter swallowed hard. His heart was thudding. He didn’t feel well. He didn’t understand why he’d been shouted at earlier, and he didn’t understand why Loki wasn’t looking at him, or why he was being so quiet.

A couple of minutes later, Loki headed toward the door. He stopped at the breakfast bar, setting one of the mugs down in front of Peter. He paused, and kissed the boy on the cheek before continuing on his way.

“Daddy? Daddy!”

Tony stopped him quickly before he could get up. 

“No, darling” he said gently. “Stay where you are”

Peter looked at him, taken aback. “What’s the matter with daddy? Are you two fighting? He only calls you Anthony when he’s cross with you”

“Drink your tea” Tony said. “There’s a good boy”

Peter didn’t feel confident enough to push it, but it made him feel on edge to think that his parents might be fighting. It was such a rare occurrence. He picked up his mug and the familiar scent of chai tea hit his nose. He breathed in, and took a small sip. It felt like forever since he’d last had it. Well, considering he’d spent four and a half months as a toddler, he supposed it had been a rather long time. It felt nice to settle down to a mug of something warm and familiar in what was otherwise a very confusing and unsettling day.

-

Peter didn’t feel great. He was still trying to get his head around what had happened, and he still felt a little bit shaky. Loki was conspicuously absent, and Tony kept touching him; hugging him and stroking his hair and kissing his face, and he didn’t really like it. He wanted a little hug from Loki, and he wanted some space to clear his head and time to think things through. He needed a bit of breathing room.

“STOP TOUCHING ME!” Peter shouted, slapping Tony’s hands away. “Just stop it! Leave me alone; I don’t want you touching me!”

“Hey, Peter! Darling, don’t shout like that” Tony said, taking Peter’s face in his hands. “Look at me. You’re ok”

“Stop touching me!” Peter shouted again, pushing his hands away, tears pricking his eyes. “Just leave me alone!”

“Sweetheart…”

Peter struggled up from the sofa, tripped over the box of toy farm animals, and fell over, smacking his head hard on the coffee table. 

“Peter!” 

Peter burst out crying, blood dripping down his face. He felt so mixed up and horrible, and now his head hurt too. Within seconds, Peter was being picked up in strong arms. He was crying too hard to comprehend it for a moment, but then he realised that it wasn’t Tony’s arms round him. He recognised these arms. He recognised that smell, too. 

“Hey trouble” Carol said. “Look at you! I’ve only been here thirty seconds and already you’re causing havoc”

*


	30. Tomorrow

-

“Is he ok? He’s bleeding! Oh god, Peter, are you ok?” Tony babbled.

“Shut up, Tony” Carol said. “Stop fussing”

Carol set Peter down on the sofa.

“I got back to Earth this morning and I heard about the reversal” she said. “How are you feeling about being big again?”

“Uh, Carol?” Tony said. “He actually only got changed back this afternoon”

Carol looked at him. “Really? Why?”

“I’ll tell you later” Tony said. “Are you ok, Peter, darling?”

Peter was still blubbing. Carol pried Peter’s hands off her so she could move back and look at him properly. She peered at his head.

“You’re bleeding a bit too much for me to see properly” she said. “Let’s get you to the kitchen and clean you up. Maybe dad can stop squeaking” she looked pointedly at Tony. “-And make you a drink while we sort your head”

-

Peter cried quite a lot while Carol cleaned the blood from his face and washed and dressed the cut. She gave him a cuddle, stroking his hair gently.

“Sshhh, baby. There now” she said. “It’s not really that bad. How do you feel? Do you feel sick or dizzy at all?”

“No. It just hurts”

“We can sort that” she said. “Settle down”

“Is he ok? He hit his head so hard” Tony said. “Maybe I should give Loki a kick, get him out here. Or maybe we should take him to hospital and get him checked out properly”

“Maybe you should stop being a drama queen” Carol said. “We’ll keep an eye on him, but I think he’ll be fine. He’s had much worse”

Peter cuddled up to Carol, letting her care for him. She wasn’t overbearing the way Tony had been. She was just the same as always. 

“So, why no Loki?”

“He’s… resting” Tony said. “Anyway, I was just gonna start thinking about tea. What do you want to eat, Peter, my love? We can have anything you want”

“I’m not hungry”

“Oh darling, you have to eat! We can get a takeaway, or I can cook for you, whatever” Tony said. “How about-”

“I said I’m not hungry!” Peter shouted. “I don’t want anything to eat!”

“Sweetheart!” Tony looked at him, taken aback. “There’s no need to shout like that. Use your inside voice”

“Stop talking to me!” Peter shouted louder. “I’m not hungry! I want to go to bed!”

“Ok, ok. It’s been a long day, I get that” Tony said. “Just give me a minute and I’ll take you”

“I don’t want you to! I’m not a toddler now; I can go on my own!”

“I really think someone should-”

“Tony, leave him alone” Carol said. “He needs a bit of space. Hop off to bed, baby”

Peter hugged her tight. “You can take me, if you want”

“Is it what  _you_  want?”

Peter nodded. “I want anyone other than dad”

-

Carol told Peter off when she joined him in his room.

“You really upset him by saying that” she said. “You need to go and apologise to him”

“I don’t want to”

“Running away after you said it doesn’t mean you can run away from it forever. Go and apologise” Carol said. “Or else”

Peter frowned. He didn’t know what Carol would do if he didn’t: he’d never dared disobey her before. He sighed and nodded.

“I’ll go and apologise”

-

Tony was still in the kitchen, and Peter could tell straight away how upset he was, and it made him feel dreadful. 

“Dad?”

Tony looked up, and quickly looked away. “I thought you were going to bed”

Tears filled Peter’s eyes, and he rushed over and flung his arms round him, nuzzling into his chest. Tony was surprised. He wasn’t sure how to react.

“…’m sorry”

Tony hesitated, and then hugged Peter back, resting his cheek against the top of his head. 

“Thanks, chick. It’s ok; I get it. You’re feeling all mixed up. I don’t blame you” he swallowed, and let go of him. “Go to bed. See you tomorrow”

-

Carol looked at Peter pointedly when he came back to his room.

“Did you apologise?”

Peter nodded.

“What did he say?”

“He said it was ok” Peter said. “He told me to go to bed”

“Better do as he says” Carol nodded toward the en suite. “Go on”

Peter didn’t argue, but he resented feeling like they were treating him like a baby. He closed the en suite door behind him, and stopped. He looked at the kids toiletries lined up on the bath and the basket of bath toys on the floor. He looked at the little stepping stool by the sink and the Peppa Pig flannel over the side of the bath. He tried to ignore it all. He reached for his toothbrush, and stopped again, his hand hovering over the tiny kids toothbrush. He swallowed and picked up his regular brush, and then reached for the toothpaste. Once again, his hand hesitated over the Milk Teeth tube before he grabbed the Colgate. He didn’t feel right at all. All of this kids stuff seemed to out of place - but he also knew he’d used all of it, and he remembered doing so. That was even stranger. 

“Did you wash your face?” Carol asked when Peter emerged from the bathroom.

“You’re nagging me” Peter said. “I’ve changed my mind about wanting you to put me to bed”

“Tough, I’m staying” Carol said. “Get changed”

“Somehow I don’t think anything in those boxes is gonna fit me”

“Don’t try to be funny. Get changed”

Peter grumbled to himself as he rummaged in his top drawer and got changed into a vest top and a pair of tartan pyjama trousers. He just wanted to be left alone so he could make a start at figuring out what the hell was going on. 

“How are you feeling?” Carol asked. “Mixed up? Confused? Like you don’t know who you are any more?”

“Something like that. I still feel shaky too. I feel like my body isn’t working properly either; like it’s a couple of seconds behind my mind”

“You need to rest, and in the morning, you need to talk to your parents. Both of them”

“I don’t think daddy is really on board with all that” Peter said. “He’s not really been near me since… The thing”

“I’ll talk to him. It’s bound to be a bit weird for your dads as well. Even for me, I think it feels kinda funny seeing you big again, even though I didn’t really see you very much while you were little”

“I’m going to bed” Peter said, crawling into bed and pulling the covers round him. “Night, mumma”

Carol knelt down by the bed. “Give me your hand”

Peter pushed the covers away and did so. Carol took his hand, and her own flashed with lightning for a moment, giving him a painful little shock.

“Ow! Mumma!” Peter pulled his hand away quickly. “What was that for?!”

“You know I’ve been in kinda similar situations before” she said. “It doesn’t give you an excuse to start being nasty to people”

“I’m not being nasty!”

“You’re starting to be. I get that you’re a little messed up right now, but bear that in mind. Ok?”

“…Ok. Sorry” Peter swallowed. “I really am ready for bed now. I need to sleep on all this”

Carol tucked him in and kissed him on the nose.

“Sure, you little troublemaker; you get some rest. I’ll see you tomorrow morning” she said. “If you need me before then, you know where you can find me”

Peter pulled the quilt up over his head. He heard Carol turning on his nightlight, closing the curtains and finally turning off the big light and closing the door. He waited until he was sure she was gone before pulling the covers off his head. He sighed heavily and turned onto his back, staring up at the ceiling. Everything felt very big and strange and confusing. He hoped a good nights sleep was all he needed to make him feel better.

-

Peter woke up in the early hours of the morning, when it was still dark. He felt strange as all his memories came flooding back. Tears filled his eyes. He wasn’t sure why he felt so helpless, or why he was crying, but he knew one thing: he wanted his dad. 

“Daddy!” he cried out. “Daddy! Daddy, please!”

His bedroom door soon opened, but the person rushing to his aid wasn’t the one he wanted. Still, after the way he’d spoken to Tony the previous night, he couldn’t very well push him away now.

“What’s the matter, darling?” Tony asked, cradling Peter in his arms. “It’s ok, I’ve got you”

“I don’t feel well. Everything’s so confusing”

“I know. Why don’t we go and get a drink? We can have a little talk”

“Is mumma still here?”

“Yes. I can ask her to join us, if you like?”

“What about daddy?”

“He’s resting” Tony said. “Let’s go and get mumma, and then we’ll get a drink”

Peter nodded. “Ok”

-

Peter did feel a bit better when he was curled up between Tony and Carol, wrapped in a blanket with a mug of warm milk. He wasn’t really drinking it, and he couldn’t help being distracted by all of the evidence of his toddler life in the room, but he was more comfortable now than he’d been since being zapped with the reversal.

“You ignored me” Peter said. “You wouldn’t talk to me or hold me or help look after me”

Tony looked at him. His heart had started to thump. “I see. You remember that”

“I didn’t understand why you wouldn’t take notice of me. I didn’t understand why you wouldn’t talk to me or hug me”

Tony held him tighter. “I’m sorry”

“I know. How long was it?”

“About a week” Tony said. “I stepped up and got better after that. I still loved you, you know that. I love you. You’re my son”

“You took me to the office with you, and a bunch of your work parties”

“Yeah. You were pretty popular. A few ladies said they were gonna take you home with them if I wasn’t careful” he said. “…You were a cute little toddler. Really, seriously cute”

“I was happy” Peter said. “Daddy looked after me a lot, didn’t he?”

“He was good with you” 

Peter looked at Carol. “You were here a bit”

“A few days” Carol said. “I haven’t had much free time the past few months”

“Didn’t they need your help?”

“Your dads had it covered” Carol said. “I just came to annoy them for a few days, and fill you with sweets and lollipops”

“Loki wasn’t best pleased about that” Tony said. “He’s been an awful stickler for proper diet these last few months”

“Oh, I kinda remember” Peter said. “It’s usually you who’s stupid about sugar”

“Oi, don’t be rude. You might not be a toddler anymore, but you’re still a kid, and you’ve still gotta behave”

“If I ask you something, will you answer me honestly?”

Tony looked at Carol, and then back to Peter. “Shoot”

“Why isn’t daddy about, and why was he so cross with me when we went to see him?”

There was a brief silence.

“I think that’s something you need to talk about with daddy” Tony said. 

“Ok, well I’ll go and talk to him now”

Carol stopped him. “No. You should probably stay here. Your daddy needs some space”

“Does he hate me?”

“No one hates you, Peter”

“Wanna bet?”

“Peter, stop” Tony said. “I think it’s time you went back to bed”

“Why? I thought we were gonna talk”

“Go and rest” Tony said. “You’ll feel better once you’ve had a proper nights sleep. Then we can talk tomorrow morning”

Peter looked down at his mug. 

“Don’t you dare” Tony said, taking it from him before he could throw it. “Go to bed”

“Fine” Peter spat, standing up on his shaky legs. “I didn’t want you anyway”

*


	31. Tell Me What's Wrong

-

Peter wasn’t happy. It had been two days. He was still getting his head around what had happened, and his body still seemed to be adjusting. He cried a lot and he got upset a lot, and he fell over a lot. To make matters worse, Tony was still acting the attentive, over-protective, over-affectionate father. He’d taken him to the doctors for a full medical and check-up, and Peter had gotten into trouble for telling the doctor to - and I quote - ‘get his filthy fucking old man hands off his fucking face’. He’d also gotten into trouble for swearing at Tony’s press manager, and swearing at Happy, and Rhodey, and Pepper, and just about anyone else who tried to ask him about Kindsprengen’s gun and the subsequent reversal.

To make matters even worse, Loki hadn’t spoken to Peter at all. In fact, he’d hardly seen him: Loki had taken on extra shifts at the hospital, and spent his off-shift time reclused in the reading nook or his room, and Tony wouldn’t let Peter near him.

All in all, it wasn’t a great combination.

-

Day Three.

Tony ruffled Peter’s hair.

“Hey kiddo, wanna come and help me in the lab? I’ve started working on this new-”

“No thanks” Peter said. 

“Oh. Uh, just so you know, the school rang yesterday, wanting to know when you’d be back. I’m not gonna rush you; you can go back whenever you feel ready. Have you been in touch with anyone yet? The Bunnies, maybe?”

“Mind your own business”

Tony sighed. “You need to stop acting so much like me on a bad day, chunk. You’ve been really naughty these past couple of days. Like the way you spoke to the doctor? You’re lucky he just thought it was funny”

“When are you gonna let me see daddy?”

“When he’s ready” Tony said. “He’s upset”

“Why? Why won’t you tell me anything about it?”

“It’s not my place to say. If daddy decides to tell you, that’s up to him. Not me”

“Is he sick? Is it because of the crash?”

Tony looked at him. “What crash?”

“He had a motorbike crash, didn’t he?”

“That was a while ago now, chick. He’s pretty much recovered from that now”

“Physically, maybe”

Tony sighed. “It’s nothing to do with the crash, son”

“He loved that bike”

“…How much of that night do you remember?”

“I remember us going to the hospital, and seeing him and Jo Jo. Uncle Clint came and took me home and looked after me”

“Yeah, that’s right”

“You haven’t replaced his bike yet”

“Are you gonna help in the lab or not?”

Peter shook his head.

“Well, you need to come down with me anyway. You can’t stay up here on your own”

“Why not? I’m fifteen”

“You’re very accident prone right now; you’re still adjusting. I need to be able to see that you’re safe” Tony said. “Besides, I don’t trust you not to go and disturb your father”

Peter scowled.

“You know I’ll pick you up and carry you if you don’t come with me like a good boy”

Peter sighed. He didn’t want to go down to the lab. Even worse, Tony always took his hand when they went down the stairs. Loki hadn’t removed the seal from the top of the stairs yet, so Peter wasn’t able to get downstairs on his own. It was incredibly annoying for someone who didn’t even want to be around his father, let alone touch him. But he supposed he didn’t have a choice. Reluctantly, he stood up from the breakfast bar and followed Tony.

-

Peter lounged on the sofa in the lab. Tony had given him a small abacus coaster bead maze, so he held it above him, manoeuvring the beads across their tracks. There was something oddly enticing about it. It wasn’t too unusual: Peter had found himself distracted by simple things very easily since the reversal. He hadn’t even kicked up a fuss when Carol left the morning after, because she’d distracted him with a groan tube. By the time he’d grown bored of it, she was long gone. He’d got a bit upset with himself when he realised what had happened, but there was nothing he could do about it. He cried a bit, and Tony set up his marble run for him, and that distracted him and kept him occupied for a while afterwards. It all felt very strange.

-

Peter fell asleep for a bit. He woke up and stayed still for a while, listening to the sound of Tony’s tools working away. There was something quite comforting about that. After a while, he sat up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

“Hey kiddo” Tony said, not looking up from his work. “How are you doing?”

Peter didn’t say anything. He stood up slowly, holding onto the sofa to support himself. His legs shook, and he took a few moments to steady himself before gingerly letting go of the sofa and standing on his own. He stumbled over to the work bench and leant against it, peering at what Tony was doing.

“You’re shaking, son” Tony said. “You should sit down”

“I’m fine here” Peter lied.

“Peter, do as you’re told, please” 

Peter scowled but did so, admitting defeat. His legs hurt too much for him to be defiant.

“You know, you didn’t really talk much at the doctors, aside from your little sweary outburst” Tony said. “Can you talk to me a bit?”

“What about?”

“Everything. Anything” Tony said. “I’m worried about you. I think there’s something more than just the confusion of what happened going on with you”

“Mumma left too soon”

Tony sighed. “Maria was ill. You can’t really blame her for putting her first”

“No… But I’m still kinda sad about it. But I’m more sad about other things”

“Oh?”

“I want daddy” he picked up a nearby soldering iron, but when he held it poised, his grip suddenly slackened and it slipped in his hand so that he burnt his fingertips on the metal. “Ow!!”

“Peter! Oh, darling. You silly thing! Come on; let’s get that poor hand under the tap”

Tony picked Peter up and plonked him down next to the sink, sticking his hand under the cold tap.

“Ouch, looks like you’re gonna get a bit of a blister there” Tony sucked his breath. “Poor Peter… Oh sweetheart, are you crying?”

Peter turned his head away in a futile attempt to hide his tears.

“Oh Peter, sweetheart! Hey, it’s ok, don’t cry! We’ve all hurt ourselves down here before. Soldering irons hurt, I know. It’ll be better in a minute”

“I’m such an idiot..!”

“No you’re not! It was an accident, chick”

“It was just me being an idiot! My stupid hands don’t work properly anymore! I could even hold it!!”

“Oh honey. You’re still adjusting. Remember what the doctor said? You just need to give it a little bit of time and it’ll be back to normal. Kinda like how daddy was when he was in hospital”

“You’re hearing me but you’re not listening!” Peter whimpered. “No one’s listened to me properly since I got big again! I’m sick of it”

Tony put an arm round Peter’s shoulders. “I’m listening”

Peter just cried harder. “I’m sick of it! My hands won’t always grip properly and I keep dropping things and doing things wrong and I can’t do things properly, and my stupid legs keep giving out on me and I can’t walk for long and they get all shaky and they hurt so much sometimes, and I keep falling over and I have to hold onto things and then daddy won’t speak to me and you won’t let me near him and everyone keeps asking questions about the whole toddler thing and Idon’t have the answers and I still don’t get what happened and I-”

“Hey, hey, slow down, chick” Tony said. “It’s ok”

“No it’s not!” Peter cried. “None of it is ok! I want my daddy!”

“Peter-”

“I WANT MY DADDY!” Peter howled.

Tony watched him for a moment, his heart thumping. This was all on Loki. He’d been doing his best since the reversal, but Peter asked after his other parent so much, and he needed him. He needed Loki’s side of the story, and more than that, he needed him to hug him. Slowly, Tony turned off the tap.

“Right, that’s it” he said, and he lifted Peter into his arms.

“What are you doing?” 

“I’m taking you to see daddy”

-

Loki was sat on the bed, and it made him jump when the door opened. He looked at Tony, and at Peter, who was crying in his husbands arms.

“I’ll call you back” Loki said, and lowered his phone. “Anthony, this isn’t a good time”

“I don’t care. You’ve spent the last three days in here; you’ve had enough time on your own”

“What are you doing here?”

“Your son needs you”

“He’s got you”

“He wants YOU!” Tony sat down on the bed, Peter still cradled in his arms. “You’ve had your sulk-”

“I haven’t been sulking” Loki interrupted. “Go away; I’m busy”

Peter cried harder, clinging to Tony. He didn’t especially want him, but if Loki wasn’t going to pay attention to him, Tony was the best he had.

“Remember that first week, the way I acted? Well you’re getting really close to being that way yourself, and we can’t let that happen” Tony said. “Our little boy needs  _both_ of us, and right now, he really needs you. So sort yourself out and give him a cuddle”

Loki kept his mouth closed, and he didn’t move. Tony scowled and decided to try a different tactic.

“Peter’s hurt his hand, and he says his legs have been hurting, alongside that whole dexterity thing I told you about. Can you have a look at him?”

“What happened?”

“Soldering iron. I put his hand under the tap, but he’s upset about a whole bunch of stuff. He was asking after you”

“I thought you said the doctor said it would all sort itself out”

“Yeah, but he’d never told us about the pain. Loki please, just give him a cuddle. Look at him” he glanced down at Peter, nestled against him, whimpering softly. “He needs his daddy”

Loki slowly swung his legs off the bed and sat beside Tony, leaving just a small gap between them. Tony loosened his grip, and Peter sat up a little. He couldn’t quite bring himself to look at either men. Loki took a deep breath and put his hands under Peter’s arms. He paused a moment before pulling the boy onto his lap. Peter clung to Loki, burying his face in his chest and crying harder still when Loki wound his arms round him. Loki held him tight and rested his head against Peter’s.

“Daddy..! Daddy!”

“Hello, darling” he said gently. “Shush now”

Tony watched them, surprised at how readily Loki had hugged the boy. He’d expected much more resistance than this. He was hugging him properly too; not at all as though he was being forced. It was as though he needed him. It was like he’d been waiting for the right moment to do it.

-

Eventually Peter calmed down, and he sat back, holding Loki’s hand and snivelling.

“Are you sick?”

Loki looked at him. “What do you mean?”

“Dad wouldn’t let me near you, and you haven’t come anywhere near me. You’ve been working all the time, and you’ve been ignoring me”

Loki sighed. “I’m sorry. I’ve just been very mixed up and upset about what happened”

Peter looked at him. “What do you mean?”

He glanced at Tony for a moment before looking back at Loki. Loki stroked the boys hair gently.

“I won’t lie to you” he said. “I don’t think we should have turned you back”

Peter blinked at him. “You mean… you mean you wanted me to stay a toddler forever?”

Loki swallowed, and nodded. “You were so happy. You really deserved to be happy”

Peter looked at him for a moment. He looked at Tony. Tony nodded slightly.

“Daddy was quite… open and adamant about his wants and wishes. We were kinda on other sides of the table with this one, chick”

“I always want what’s best for you” Loki said. “You were so happy as a toddler. You didn’t have any troubles or anything to worry about or anything like that. You had a good life, and-”

“I’ve got a good life now” Peter said. 

“You weren’t poorly as a toddler”

Peter didn’t know what to say to that, or what to think. What if Loki had had his way? He could still be a toddler. In fact, he could have been a toddler forever. And he never would have known any different.

“I didn’t remember being big while I was a toddler” Peter said. “But I remember all of being a toddler now that I’m me again”

Loki sighed. “I see”

“I think I’m gonna go and lay down for a bit” 

He struggled off Loki’s lap and pushed himself to his feet. He wobbled and Loki grabbed his arm, steadying him.

“Ok?”

Peter clung to him, willing his legs to stop shaking. He tried to make them go stiff, and his right knee gave out and he fell. Fortunately he was standing close enough that he simply flopped against the bed instead of crashing to the floor.

“Woah there” Tony said, pulling Peter onto his lap. “Are you ok?”

“No” Peter burst into tears and buried his face in Tony’s chest. “I wanna go to bed!”

“Oh darling” Tony sighed. “Ok darling. I’ll take you”

-

Peter felt a bit better when he woke up. He sat up slowly. He looked round the room, focusing mostly on all of his kids things that were still there. He rubbed the backs of his aching knees and slowly stood up, tucking his rocket under his arm and clinging to the headboard for support. Once he was sure his legs would hold, he carefully made his way towards the door, utilising the furniture for support.

He found his parents in the kitchen, as expected.

“Hey kiddo” Tony said. “Do you want a drink? Kettle’s just boiled”

Peter shook his head.

“Do you wanna sit down? You’re all shaky”

Peter nodded and went over to them, sitting in his usual seat beside Loki at the breakfast bar. Loki took his hand. Peter didn’t pull away, but he held tighter to his rocket.

“I know it’s a shock for you. Maybe you should talk to Steve. He’ll probably understand better than the rest of us” Loki said.

Peter looked at Tony. “My legs hurt”

“They’re still shaking, aren’t they?”

Peter nodded. “What if they never get better?”

“They will. You’ve just gotta adjust a bit first”

“It’s been like, three days, dad” Peter said sadly. “What happened? I mean, my powers…”

“Sweetheart, your healing powers have been a bit, uh, well, a bit less effective ever since the accident. Plus, I don’t think it’s really an injury; just that your body has had a bit of a shock”

“But I could walk and do stuff alright when I was a toddler, right?”

“As well as any other toddler, yeah. I guess turning back is a little different”

“Did all the others get this problem?”

Tony shrugged. “I’ve not really looked into it. I don’t think they really said much about the physical side in their interviews”

“Where does it hurt?” Loki asked.

“Mainly the backs of my knees” Peter said. “It’s really bad sometimes, especially like, if I’ve been kneeling”

“And the shaking?”

“It usually stops when I’m sat down. My knees keep giving out too”

“You should have told the doctor about it” Loki said.

“Um, well, I was cross. I didn’t really feel like talking, especially after I got told off”

“Yes, I was told about what you said to him”

“When are you next at work?”

“I don’t know” Loki said. “I haven’t scheduled anything yet”

“When are you getting a new motorbike?”

“I don’t know”

“Were you really gonna keep me as a toddler?”

“I wanted to” Loki said. “I thought it was the best option. You had a good life, you were happy, you were healthy, and I thought it was best to keep you that way. Unfortunately I was the only one who did”

Peter looked at Tony. “Is that why I was the last to get changed back?”

Tony nodded. “We had a bit of a fight about it. Well, uh, quite a big one. It took us a while to get to a point where daddy would let us use the reversal on you. And even then, he tried to stop it at the last minute”

“It still doesn’t feel right”

Peter looked at him. “You preferred me as a toddler, didn’t you?”

“We could have given you a better life as a toddler”

“It’s because of my PTSD and stuff, isn’t it?”

Loki paused, and then he had to nod. “In part, yes”

“Can we go and watch a film?”

Loki blinked a bit. “At the pictures?”

“No, just here. Please?”

Loki looked at Tony. Tony smiled at him.

“I think I know a good one to watch” 

-

Tony put on Bolt. Peter started off curled up at his side with his rocket, but somewhere along the way, he ended up on Loki’s lap. Loki cradled him close and closed his eyes.

At first he thought about all of the time he’d spent with little Peter, and how close he’d felt to him. After a while he shook his head slightly and tried to shift his thoughts. He held Peter tighter, feeling his skin and touching his soft hair. He thought about the first time he met him. He thought about everything that had happened that first summer, and how hot and cold they’d been with each other. He thought about everything that happened afterwards, in the years that followed. He thought about how close he’d grown to Peter, and how their friendship had stabilised, and he’d grown to think of him as a son. He thought about everything that happened after they lost May. He thought about the first time he’d been called dad. He thought about the adoption. He thought about everything in between, all those nice evenings and holiday moments and conversations. He thought about watching him compete and seeing him in his spiderman suit and reading to him and soothing his nightmares and listening to his problems. He thought about all the times he’d turned up to A&E to find him, and how scared he’d been. He thought about all the times he’d stayed up all night to look after him when he was sick. He thought about cooking for him and holding him close and tending his wounds and kissing his nose and wiping the tears from his face.

“I love you, darling” he said softly.

Peter tore his eyes away from the telly and looked at Loki. Loki opened his eyes and looked at Peter.

“I’m sorry”

“You’re stuck with the regular me” Peter said.

Loki kissed him on the cheek. “I love you”

“I love you too” 

Tony smiled, watching them.

“Anyway, you’ll have a toddler again at some point” Peter said.

“What do you mean?”

“The three-person baby” Peter said. “That’s not gonna be a baby forever”

“Oh yes…” Loki said. “Let’s not talk about that right now. I want to focus on you. You’re my baby boy. Nothing’s going to change that. We’ll work everything out”

“I get what you wanted from keeping me little” Peter said. “Dad once told me that people who think they’re right when they’re wrong are dangerous. But people always just do what they think is right, right?”

“I always want to do right by you”

“I was happy as a toddler, but I’m happy now too” Peter said. “Well, not right at this exact minute, but like, before I got turned into a baby. Even though I’ve got the PTSD and all that stuff. Still happy. You  _have_ done right by me. We’re happy, right? We’ve got a good life, haven’t we? Even after everything that happened with May and all the stuff after that?”

Loki looked at Tony.

“Don’t look at me” Tony said. “He asked you”

Loki looked back at Peter. “You didn’t have nightmares when you were a toddler. You’ve had one every night since you were changed back”

“I had a nightmare every night when we went on holiday with Liz and Flo too” Peter said. “I still had a great time. I have nightmares for no reason all the time”

“And why do you think that is?”

Peter scowled at him. “I used to have nightmares  _before_ the accident too, you know. Not as much, granted, but still”

“Mmm”

“I am happy the way I am. I know horrible things happened before, but so what? Horrible things happened to you, too, and you’re still happy with your life, aren’t you?”

“Well, yes, but-”

“So why do you think I can’t be happy just because of my past? Dad’s happy despite everything too”

“I suppose he is”

Peter buried his face in Loki’s chest, nuzzling into him. “I’m still yours. I’ve been yours this way, way more than I was as a toddler. Nothing’s gonna change that either”

“You’re far too serious for such a little boy” Loki said. “I adore you whether you’re a toddler or a teenager. But I stand by what I said, and I still feel like I’ve lost something by turning you back”

“Well, for what it’s worth, I feel like I’ve lost stuff too. I wasn’t me for four months really” Peter said. “I didn’t remember anything from being big. So I was just tiny Peter instead of like, you know, me. But now I remember everything again, and I remember being little, but it’s weird. Most people who remember being three, it’s distant, right? Whereas I have toddler memories from last week. I’m still getting my head round it all. It’s weird”

Loki kissed him firmly on the cheek. “I can only imagine”

“A bunch of my baby stuff is still around”

“I haven’t gotten round to putting things away yet” Tony said. “We could sort it out together. We should get a charity box sorted”

Peter looked at him. “I don’t wanna give my stuff away! I love all these toys and stuff. I’ve still been playing with some stuff these last few days”

“Have you?” Loki said.

“Yeah, he has” Tony said. He sighed. “Peter, sweetheart, I get it, I really do - whether you want to believe me or not. But there’s no reason for you to keep everything. All your little artworks and stuff, yeah, we can box and keep those. But the clothes? Those have definitely gotta go to charity. It’s not like you can wear any of that stuff again. As for the rest of it, all your toys and stuff, uh… Look, darling. We’ll sort it out together”

“I like all my toys”

“Bambino” Tony sighed. “Ok, chick. Look, my love, I’m not going to force you to give away anything. But I still think we should sit down and go through everything together. After that, if you decide there’s anything you wanna give away, we can stick it in the charity bag. But it’s all up to you. Ok?”

Peter nodded slowly. He might still be getting his head round having been turned into a toddler, but somehow he didn’t feel ready to let go of it. Not yet. Not until he understood.

*


	32. Chiquitita

-

Loki watched Peter closely the next day. He was still feeling very mixed up and upset about everything, but after the very frank chat Tony had had with him after Peter had gone to bed, he realised he had been a bit out of order staying away from their son the way he had. He needed to make up for lost time, and make sure Peter knew he cared.

Peter was definitely struggling. He seemed very mixed up too, which was understandable. More than that, walking - or more, staying on his feet - was definitely an issue.

“Peter, my darling?” Loki said, stopping Peter in the kitchen. “Is it ok if I take a little look at you? More specifically, at your legs?”

“Um…” Peter swallowed, and nodded. “Ok”

Loki scooped him up bridal-style. He took him to the back room where there was more space, and carefully lay him down on the futon.

“Are they still hurting?”

“Yeah” Peter said. “Not as much as yesterday, but they still ache”

“Maybe we should take your jeans off”

“I’d rather we didn’t” Peter said. “I… sorry”

“Don’t be. It’s ok” Loki said, starting to check him over anyway. “Your poor legs are still shaking. Can you try to settle them?”

“I am trying. They take a minute or two to stop”

“I see. Do they feel weak?”

“Not really; just shaky. Even when my knees give out, they don’t really feel weak. It kinda feels like a jolt when it happens, y’know? Kinda like someone’s just hit them”

“I understand” Loki said. “Does it feel like you can’t balance?”

“No. I  _can_ balance, when my legs let me. Like, I can walk and stand and stuff, but then my legs go all funny”

“Funny how?”

“Well, you know. The shaking and stuff. I can’t go for very long”

“I’ve watched you, chick, and I’m not sure it’s a strength thing. Do you mind if I just-”

“Daddy, I trust you, and I’m not saying this to be rude” Peter said. “But this isn’t exactly your area of expertise”

Loki laughed slightly. “I’ve had some experience in physio, chick”

“Mostly personal experience though, right?”

Loki stopped for a moment. “…It’s not really the same thing, honey. Now, I want you to push against my hand with your foot, ok?”

Peter did as he was asked. It felt a little funny: he wasn’t sure how he felt about being on his back being given a consult by his father. But he supposed it couldn’t do any harm. Loki was a nurse, after all.

“Well” Loki said, letting go of Peter and letting him lay his legs back down. “You’re definitely not lacking any strength there”

“So I’m just still adjusting? Kinda like when you were in hospital?”

“Peter, stop” Loki said, firmly. “We’re not talking about me”

Peter sighed. “I think it was worse for us at first”

“Peter, I told you to stop. I don’t want to talk about that”

“Sorry…”

Loki sighed and sat Peter up so he could check his reflexes. He didn’t have a reflex hammer, so he had to make do with his phone.

“Is your lockscreen still a picture of me as a toddler?”

“Yes” Loki said. “Your reflexes seem ok. I think perhaps we should have a bit of a workout and see if we can’t push you a little bit”

“Isn’t that a bit dangerous?”

“No, I don’t think so. A bit of proper exercise would do you good” he thought for a moment. “Why don’t we go down to the pool? Swimming is good for you, and you enjoy that”

“If I can’t walk, I’m not gonna be able to swim” Peter frowned. 

“Well, perhaps not as well as usual” Loki said. “But never mind. The water will be good for you, and I’ll keep hold of you so you’re not going to be in any danger”

“But daddy, you can’t swim”

“That’s what you think” Loki said, prodding him in the chest. “Jo Jo is a very good teacher, and he’s very discreet”

“Wow”

“Mm, wow indeed” Loki said. “So, shall we?”

“What about dad?”

“I think he’s very busy in the lab today”

“Can we ask him anyway?”

Loki nodded. “Of course”

-

Tony was very tied up and said he couldn’t really afford to get away. He was relieved to see Loki was seemingly back to his normal self thought, and he secretly wanted them to spend as much time together without him as possible.

Loki and Peter went downstairs to the pool changing rooms.

“Um, daddy?” Peter said once he and Loki had gotten changed. “My legs have gone all funny. Can you, um..?”

Loki hoicked Peter up onto his hip. “I’m got you, chick. You just hold onto me”

“We went swimming while I was a toddler” Peter said. “You held me up so I could say hello to the seal”

“You loved that seal… We spent hours there. You loved the little whale slide. You were so cute” Loki said. “We didn’t quite get you swimming: you were happy enough splashing around”

“You taught me to read, though”

“Yes, I taught you to read. You enjoyed it…”

“Mm… Can you really swim now? You never tried before. Why did you change your mind?”

“Yes, I can swim now. Never you mind about the reasons why” Loki said loftily. “Let’s get you into the pool”

Peter clung to Loki. “I’m a bit nervous. I can’t walk for long, so… Swimming was my good thing, right? Even though I don’t really like competing. But if I can’t do it…”

“It’s ok. Don’t worry about that; you’ll get back on your game eventually” Loki said. “I’ve got you now. We can go slow”

Peter looked down at the pool. “Um…”

Loki sat down on the edge of the pool with Peter on his lap.

“Um, daddy? I think I’ve changed my mind”

“Too late” Loki said, slipping into the pool. 

Peter squeaked and clung to Loki’s arm, squeezing his eyes shut. Loki kept one arm round Peter’s chest, and rested his free hand on the boys head.

“You’re ok, chick. Open your eyes”

Peter slowly opened his eyes. He looked at the water, feeling it lapping against his skin. It was comfortably warm, as usual, and Loki’s arm was securely round him. He was safe. He kicked his legs a little, testing the water.

“Is it the resistance that helps?” he asked.

“It’s part of it” Loki said. “You have to work harder in water. But I think it’s also the heat. You know, like a hot bath. It can help relax your muscles”

“Oh yeah… Do you know where my box of bath salts went? Those expensive ones? I asked dad and he said he didn’t know”

“You ruined them” Loki said. “It was the next night after… After you got hit with Kindsprengen’s gun… You decided to make a potion by way of a bottle of shower gel mixed into a box of bath salts in the early hours of the morning”

“Oh right” the corner of Peter’s mouth turned down. “That was silly of me”

“I’ll buy you some more if you’d like some” 

“I don’t know” Peter put his hands in the water. “My legs don’t really hurt any more”

“That’s good. Does it hurt all over, or is it just the backs of your knees?”

“Usually just the backs of my knees” Peter said. “I don’t feel very stable”

“Physically?”

Peter nodded. “It feels weird”

Loki turned Peter round and tried to hold him at arms length. Peter squeaked and clung to him.

“Don’t let go! I might sink!”

“You won’t sink” Loki said. “You’ve had more medals and trophies for swimming than you’ve had hot dinners. I’m not going to let go of you completely, I promise. I’ll keep hold of your hands, and you can just try kicking your legs and keeping yourself afloat as best you can”

“I’m scared”

“I know. We’ll go slow. In your own time”

Peter took a deep breath and slowly let go of Loki. Loki kept hold of Peter’s hands.

“There we are! You’re ok” Loki said. 

Peter kept his eyes down, trying to focus. He held tight to Loki’s hands and tried kicking his legs like Loki had suggested.

“There, good boy” Loki said. “You’re doing really well”

“It feels weird. Like wading through custard”

Loki laughed slightly. “I understand. Believe it or not, I did a little bit of hydrotherapy while I was in hospital. I remember how strange it felt the first time”

“Oh, I didn’t know that” Peter said. “Um… Am I gonna have to go to physio because of this?”

“I shouldn’t think so. We’ll work through it together. I think you’ll be ok in a few days. I think- oh! I’ve had a thought”

“Oh. What?”

“I think we need to build your strength up a bit. You’ve been eating as a toddler for so long” Loki said. “Maybe your body had a bit of a shock. After all, if we gave you toddler portions now, it wouldn’t be enough to sustain you, would it?”

“Interesting theory” Peter said. “…Remember that day we went out and I asked to go on the bus, and you said no, and I asked why, and you said because we haven’t got a ticket? And I just kinda accepted that as an answer?”

Loki smiled slightly. “Well, I didn’t lie to you”

“I really wanted to go on that bus, you know. It just seemed so exciting. My rocket- um… I though my rocket would have liked it”

“You were so attached to that rocket. I notice you had it with you yesterday, and at breakfast this morning”

“Mm… I remember getting it. It was the first day, wasn’t it?”

“That’s right. You threw a fit when dad told you no” Loki said. “You had a proper tantrum and he just gave in to shut you up”

“Was I a nightmare? I can kinda remember having tantrums, but like, was I a nightmare generally?”

“No” Loki said. “You were wonderful. You were sweet and quiet and happy and precious. You had your moments, but generally, you were really good. You were incredibly well behaved”

“Oh” Peter said. “I remember getting into trouble a few times. Aunt Nat rescued me from the naughty chair on the landing”

“Mm… Can I ask you something?”

Peter nodded.

“What was going through your head when you had a tantrum?”

“Oh” Peter looked at him. “Um… It depended. I just kinda remember being really, really angry or upset or frustrated and feeling like no one was listening. So like, because people weren’t listening, I had to  _make_ them listen. So I got loud. I guess I just had to let all that emotion out”

“Can I ask you something else?”

Peter nodded.

“Do you remember those days when you got fussy because you didn’t want your coat on?”

Peter nodded again.

“How did you feel when we put you in your coat anyway, even though you were saying no?”

Peter went quiet, thinking and trying to remember properly. He looked at his and Loki’s hands.

“It was kinda scary sometimes. Like, I kept saying no and I couldn’t struggle away because everyone was so much bigger than me. I guess I felt kinda helpless”

“I tried to explain to you why we were doing it anyway”

“I know” Peter said. “I remember you telling me you could hear me saying no, but you had to do it to look after me, or something like that”

“Did it help?” Loki asked. “Compared to people who just forced you wordlessly?”

Peter shrugged. “I don’t really know. I think you were less scary than dad, because you talked to me gently even when I was shouting. Dad just kinda told me to be quiet and then didn’t say anything else until I was all zipped up in my coat”

“We both tried our best”

“I know” Peter said. “Do you wanna know what  _was_ scary?”

Loki looked at him with interest. “Ok?”

“Getting my booster jabs”

“Oh sweetheart” Loki sighed sadly. “Dad said you absolutely howled. He said he nearly cried too”

“It was one in each arm and each leg” Peter said. “Dad had to hold me still; I remember that. It felt like it went on forever, like the doctor just kept stabbing things into me. It was so scary. I didn’t like the doctor much after that. Didn’t really like dad either, ‘cos I started asking him to get the doctor to stop, and he didn’t… I did get gummy bears afterwards though”

“Poor little boy. Was there any talk at the doctors of doing more boosters now that you’ve been, uh, turned back?”

“I don’t know; I wasn’t really listening while we were there: I was too cross”

“Yes, I was told about that appointment. Not to mention the way you talked to dads friends”

“Yeah… I should probably apologise” 

“Perhaps” Loki said, taking him further from the edge of the pool. “I think they’re all very understanding though”

“Do you wanna know something else that was scary?”

“If there’s something else you want to tell me, yes”

“All the crowds. People used to crowd us when we were out, y’know, because of dad? That could be pretty scary, especially when it was men, and especially when they were loud”

“Well, I understand that. You’ve been a little funny with crowds for a long time. I can imagine it must have been very scary when you were so little”

“Mm… Daddy, my legs are getting kinda tired” 

“Come and hold onto me properly again” Loki said, pulling him close and enabling him to do so. “You’re doing really well. We’ll get you there”

-

Tony emerged from the lab and found Loki and Peter cuddled up spooning in the reading nook in their fluffy dressing gowns. Loki had a book in his hands, which he put down when Tony entered the room.

“Hey, you two” Tony said softly. “Did you have a good swim?”

“It was tiring” Peter said. “But daddy said we should keep at it and I managed to do half a length, which I thought was ok”

“That’s good! How are your legs?”

“They ache a bit, but I think it’s because of the exercise” Peter said. “We spent a while in the hot tub too, and that kinda helped”

“He got tired out” Loki said. “I didn’t want to push him too hard just yet”

“Did you have a little look at him?”

“I don’t think there’s anything to worry about just yet. I’ll work on exercise with him, and if you keep him well fed, and we do the rest of it together, we’ll get him back up and running soon enough” Loki said. 

“Is it ok if I join you?”

Loki nodded, and Tony sat down on the armchair by the reading nook.

“Daddy?” Peter said. “Where’s my phone? And my laptop? I had a look, but…”

“I’ll dig them out for you, chick” Loki said. 

“I wanna see my friends. And I need to send a few sorry messages to people”

“There’s no rush, chick” Tony said. “Don’t push yourself”

“I feel a bit like they will have forgotten about me. It’s gonna be weird going back to school… I don’t have to go yet, do I?”

“No, not until you’re ready” Tony said. “If you’re ready in two days, you can go in two days. If you’re ready in two weeks, you can go in two weeks. If you’re ready in a month- well, you get the idea”

“It’s scary to think about it. Daddy and I were talking about some of the toddler stuff earlier” Peter said. “I feel all fuzzy. I’m still trying to understand the whole changeover. I think I’m gonna call uncle Steve at some point and talk to him”

Tony smiled slightly. “Yeah, that might be a nice idea… Have you had lunch?”

Peter nodded.

“What did you have?”

“Broth” Peter pulled a face. “Yuck”

Tony and Loki both laughed slightly.

“He needed something full of goodness” Loki said, in all seriousness. “Broth and a smoothie. It made a good, nutritious lunch”

“Not exactly a tasty one though” Tony said, raising an eyebrow.

“The smoothie was good” Peter said in Loki’s defence. 

“Well, anyway” Tony said. “Darling, can I be a little bit selfish for a moment?”

Peter gave him a look, as did Loki.

“You’ve had a morning with daddy, and feel free to say no, but I was wondering if we could spend the afternoon together?” Tony said. “We need to sort out all your toddler stuff, and I was thinking we could do it together”

“If it’s ok with you two” Loki said. “There are a few things I’d like to keep for myself. For my box”

Tony nodded. “Sure… Peter?”

“Ok. I’m gonna go and put some clothes on first, though” he wriggled away from Loki and stood up. “I won’t be long”

“Are you alright walking?” Loki asked, sitting up.

“I’ll manage” Peter said. “My legs are only shaking a little bit”

Tony watched him go, and turned to Loki. He reached out and took his hand.

“Thank you”

“No, thank you” Loki said. “I needed you to kick me into action, and you did. I shouldn’t have avoided you and Peter, and I definitely shouldn’t have taken on those shifts as an excuse to do so. It was very wrong of me. I’m sorry”

“Thank you” Tony squeezed his hand. “You’ve done a very swift u-turn. It’s a relief to see, and I love that you went down to the pool and helped him there. I know how much you hate swimming. How did it go, really?”

“It went well. It did tire him out, and it did hurt his legs, but that was just to be expected. It wasn’t anything he couldn’t handle. He just needs to build his strength up. I’ll keep up with it. I’ve talked to Jo Jo a bit, an-”

“Jo Jo? Why him?”

“He did a rotation on physio, and his housemate works in the department. He’s got some knowledge that I don’t have” Loki said. “He was helpful”

“I see. Well, I trust you with the medical side of this” Tony said. “I’ll let you get on with that, but keep me updated. I’ll help him sort out all the kiddie stuff today, and then we’ll do everything else as a family. Ok?”

Loki nodded. “Ok”

-

Peter sat looking at all of the little clothes on his bedroom floor. A large cardboard box sat beside him. Some clothes were already folded in it, mainly plain clothes.

“There’s a lot here” Peter said. “There’s so much stuff”

“You needed lots. We didn’t know how long you were gonna be little for, and we kinda thought, like, generally, little kids get through more clothes than like, older people. Getting them dirty and stuff. Although, you were generally ok. Sometimes the spare set Loki shoved in the bag came in very useful though”

“Like the time I wet myself at the supermarket?”

“Oh yeah. It was a clown, right?”

“It came out of nowhere and just  _jumped_  at me! That’d terrify me even now! I couldn’t stop crying for ages” Peter shook his head slightly. “Daddy shouted at him for scaring me”

Tony chuckled. “Oh yes, he was furious when he told me. He said you were very upset”

“Well yeah. I mean, I was terrified, and then I got upset because I wet myself. It was kinda traumatising”

Tony shook his head. “Poor little Peter”

Peter looked back at the piles of clothes, picking up the teddy bear onesie.

“This is cute”

“I think daddy wants to keep that one” Tony said gently. “Why don’t you set it aside?”

Peter nodded and did so. “There’s a lot of cute stuff here. I think it’d be a bit weird for me to keep any of it, though. Maybe a pair of shoes though, for daddy’s box…”

“Well, that’s up to you” Tony said. “You’ve got those socks Liz sent; they’re good to keep. There’s a few things I’d be tempted to keep, but we’ve got photos of you in all the cutest stuff, so I’m happy with those. Even though it feels a bit strange having the sudden age shift. I think you understand that better than we do”

Peter nodded. “All this stuff is in good condition. I think the charity box will appreciate them”

-

Sorting the clothes was easy, and sorting the kitchen wasn’t too bad either. There were a few kiddie snacks left, but it was all stuff that Peter imagined he’d eat at some point. He did spend a while looking at all of his sippy cups and dining sets. Eventually they decided to keep the cutlery set from Steve, and a couple of the nicest cups. Everything else went into the charity box.

“So, uh, the toys” Peter said. “Will they go to the hospital if we donate them?”

“No” Tony said. “Loki’s already warned me against that one. He said they’re constantly overflowing with donations, to the point where they have to turn them away. No, whatever - if anything - you decide to donate, will just go to the same place as the other stuff”

Peter nodded slowly. “I’ve got some toys in my room. We should sort those ones out first”

-

Peter had already suspected that the toys were going to be the hardest bit, and his suspicions were proved correct. Tony suggested he might like the keep all of the soft toys. There weren’t all that many, and Peter nodded at Tony’s suggestion. However, he took the scarf and monkey from his big Steiff elephant, and threw them in the charity box. He hated monkeys, so he didn’t really know why he’d chosen it. He picked up the little dog in its plastic carry cage and the toy horse and set them on the cabinet beside his Steiff bear and penguin. He hadn’t really cuddled them much, so he felt they were better on his technically-toys-but-definitely-more-ornamental shelf.

“I don’t think I could ever part with my rocket now” Peter said, tucking it under his arm. “I kinda like carrying it around. Is that weird?”

“Maybe it’s just a bit of leftover attachment” Tony said. “You carry it around as much as you like, honey”

They spent a while in the en suite. The unopened kiddie toiletries were put in the box, and they decided they could use the last bits of the opened stuff, so those stayed where they were. If Peter decided he didn’t want to use them, there was always the option of binning them. His toddler toothbrush and toothpaste were binned. The little stepping stool was pushed to the corner of the bathroom, under the radiator. They supposed it could come in useful in the future. The towel and flannel from Steve, and the kids sponges were all kept.

The bath toys were harder. Peter threw everything he hadn’t really liked or played with as a toddler into the box, but it still left - amongst other things - all of his boats, his water wheel, and a whole flock of rubber ducks. He sat on the floor lining everything up. He held the water wheel in his hands, flicking it so that it spun.

“What are you thinking, bambino?”

“I loved this thing”

“Remember what I said, honey” Tony said. “I’m not going to force you to give anything away”

Peter looked round the bathroom. He’d chosen some lovely pictures for the walls, but his shelves were fairly empty, aside from his free-standing little unit where he kept his unopened toiletries. He knelt up and pressed the water wheel to the inner side of the bath.

“I want it”

“Ok”

Peter looked at his boats and rubber toys and ducks. He set the duck that quacked in water on top of the cistern. He lined up his bigger ducks on the ledge by the toilet, and the smaller ones along the edge of the bath. He picked up his boats and put them back in the little toy basket. He put everything else in the charity box. He took a deep breath.

“That’s the bathroom done”

Tony gave his shoulder a squeeze. “Well done. Living room next, chick. You’ve got some big decisions to make”

-

Peter was quiet for a long time, looking through all of his toys.

“I feel bad” he said eventually. “Especially about the stuff my uncles and people bought me. I can’t really get rid of all that, can I?”

“It really is up to you, chonk. You can keep whatever you want to keep”

Peter pushed the toy buggy back and forth a little. He looked at the baby doll strapped into it.

“I loved this little doll”

“You spent hours walking round and round the house pushing that little buggy with your baby doll. You liked getting me to help you bath it and feed it and put it to bed too”

“I remember… I think I wanna keep the baby for now, but only with the buggy. Is that ok?”

“Of course. Like I keep saying; it’s entirely your choice”

Peter had a think, and found everything the Avengers had bought him, separating them from the rest of the toys. He looked at the toy till and all the toy groceries. He looked at the wooden toy food set with the velcro so you could ‘slice’ it with the wooden toy knife. He looked at the tin tea set, at the building blocks and the Stickle Bricks. He looked at marble run.

“Uncle Steve got me a big fairy tale book, right?”

Tony nodded. “Loki thought you might end up tearing it by accident, so it’s in the reading nook. I think your flash cards are in there, too”

Peter emptied out one of the small toy boxes and refilled it with all of the presents from the Avengers.

“These are important” he said. “I can’t let go of these”

Tony nodded. He understood. Truth be told, these were all very successful gifts: Peter had played with each of those toys a lot, and Steve’s practical presents had been very useful too. He was glad Peter was keeping them.

-

Sorting through the rest of the boxes was hard, and time-consuming. Peter looked at all of his toys and play-sets, and he just remembered all of the great games he’d had with them. He felt selfish, like a child who didn’t want to share, but he couldn’t help not wanting to let go.

“Is it selfish of me to want to keep more than I want to give away?”

“It’s your stuff, kiddo”

Peter looked at the piles again and had a really good think, reevaluating the situation. He was happy to part with the various sized toy cars (including the remote control one) and his big train set and his action man van and all the action men and Barbies that went with it. He was happy to part with his jigsaw puzzles and his foam puzzle play mat. He was happy to part with his shape-sorter and doctor set and builder set, not to mention his bucket of letter magnets, his Mr Potato Head, his little basketball hoop, doodle board, and fuzzy felts. After some more thought, he pushed a toy digger, toy phone, a barely-used Play-Doh pack, and a bundle of plastic animals into the ‘donate pile’.

“I was really spoilt” he said, looking at everything.

“I don’t think so” Tony said, picking up a plastic dinosaur. “Kids need a lot of toys. Loki said it’s healthy to have a lot of options. Compared to a lot of kids, this isn’t really a huge amount”

“This is my donate pile” Peter said. “And that’s my keep pile”

“Alright, well, do you wanna have a last look through and make sure you know what’s going where, then?”

Peter had another look, and nodded. “I think I’m sure. I’m definitely keeping these dinosaurs and the dolls house and stuff. I can always change my mind and give them away some other time, right?”

Tony put an arm round Peter’s shoulder. “How do you feel?”

“Like I’m about to cry”

“Do you wanna take a little break?”

Peter took a deep breath and nodded. Tony gave him a little squeeze.

“I thought so. Let’s get a drink, and then we’ll finish up”

-

Peter did have a bit of a cry. Tony was very understanding, and he gave him a cuddle and reiterated that it was all his decision, and that he knew it was a strange situation, but that things did need to be sorted. Peter appreciated his honesty and sentiment, and it helped.

Tony helped pack all of the toys in the ‘donate’ pile into big cardboard boxes. He handed Peter a roll of brown tape.

“Care to do the honours?”

Peter took the roll. He hesitated a moment before closing the boxes and taping them securely shut. He took a deep breath.

“This feels weird. Like a loss”

“I know” Tony said, squeezing his shoulder. “But it’s gotta be done. This is all good stuff, and you’ve been really generous. Now, you need to box up your other pile”

“Can you help?”

“Of course”

Tony helped Peter tidy everything he was keeping into the big toy chest. It all fit neatly, with room to spare. Peter looked at the empty toy boxes beside it.

“What do we do with these?”

“Keep them. We can stick them in the back room for now: they’re bound to come in useful at some point”

“Ok” Peter nodded. “What do we do with the toy chest?”

“Leave it in here, if you want to” Tony said. “It’s neat enough, and there’s more room in here for if you want to get things out again at any point”

“What about the charity boxes?”

“We’ll put them all by the door to the garage” Tony said. “We’ll take them to a drop off point another day”

“Why not today?”

“Well, in case you change your mind about anything over the next couple of days… Sweetheart, there’s something I need to talk to you about”

“What?”

“It’s about… May”

“I didn’t remember her when I was a toddler. You said that”

“Yeah… It’s not that”

Peter looked at him. “Then what?”

“Well, daddy and I kept visiting, of course, like always. But we’ve gone more because… Well, we got talking, and we saw the way other people’s, uh, resting places were set out” he swallowed. “We kinda… upgraded everything”

Peter blinked at him, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“We kept the headstone, because you chose that. But we kinda got it integrated with other stuff, kinda made it… Kinda like some of the ones we saw. Listen, I can explain and describe it till the cows come home, but it’s probably better for you to just…”

“See it?”

Tony nodded. “Yeah. If you don’t like it, we can always change it back, but we talked about it a lot and it felt right, and we got it all sorted. But yeah, if you don’t like it…”

“I don’t wanna see just yet” Peter said. “I wanna wait, and do it the same day we drop all these boxes off. Is that ok?”

“Of course it’s ok. It’s your decision”

Peter looked at him, considering. “…You’re my dad”

Tony blinked a bit. “Uh, yeah, I’m your dad…”

“Daddy told me about your argument, y’know, about the reversal and stuff. I understand both of your points of view, but I don’t really know what I would’ve chosen if I were you. It’s hard to figure it out”

“I get that. At the end of the day, most of us just kinda thought that if you were turned into a child by accident, there was no right to keep you as one on purpose. Like, it shouldn’t’ve happened. We would’ve prevented it if we could’ve, so of course we were gonna reverse it when we could. Does that make sense?”

“I think so. I think you were working on logic, and daddy was working on… Not logic”

“It’s all over and done with now” Tony hugged him close. “You don’t need to think about the why’s and what-ifs. We just need to get back to normal”

“Daddy’s still annoyed at you”

“Don’t be silly, chicken. What makes you think that?”

“He’s calling you Anthony. He only does that when he’s upset with you”

Tony sighed. “Don’t worry about all that, chick. We’ll work through things. We always do”

-

Peter felt a lot more relaxed that evening, and he didn’t feel smothered or like he wanted to avoid people anymore. He sat on Tony’s lap, their chests pressed together, and Tony held him tight and rocked him gently. Loki sat at the other side of the sofa, his nose in a book.

“We should start thinking about tea” Tony said, rubbing Peter’s back. “We’ve been a bit slack the last few days. Maybe we could order something in”

“What kinda something?” Peter asked.

“Whatever you like” Tony said. “Call it a treat. It’d be nice”

Peter turned his head, looking at Loki. “Daddy?”

Loki looked up from his book. “Yes?”

“What do you want for tea?”

“I’m not fussy” Loki said. “You can choose”

Peter settled back against Tony, thinking. He wasn’t sure how hungry he was. He didn’t really want to order pizza, because he had a feeling he wouldn’t finish it. He didn’t really like Indian, and every time they had a Chinese there was always loads left over that usually ended up going to waste. He didn’t want a kebab or a chicken burger or any of the usual greasy takeaway stuff. 

“I don’t really know what I want” he said eventually. 

“Well, if you don’t want a takeaway, we could always go out to eat?” Tony suggested. “We could-”

“Halloumi” Peter said suddenly. “Do you remember that fancy looking place we went to on holiday, and I had that burger that was like, halloumi sticks and hummus and lettuce and tomato, and I had a macaroni cheese fritter added? That was so nice”

“I think that’s a little above my area of expertise, chick”

“What about goats cheese? Like, when it’s all warm and breaded, and you have it in a salad?”

“Ah, well that’s something I  _know_ how to do! Is that what you want?”

Peter nodded. “Yeah, and I want that chocolate fried brioche thing for pudding”

“Uuh, I don’t think we’ve got any brioche, chick”

“We have” Loki said. “It’s a loaf though”

“Oh. That’ll probably work just as well” Tony said. “Alright then, chick, I’m gonna have to move you: I need to go and play at being Gordon Ramsay”

-

After tea, Peter curled up on Tony’s bed with his parents. He didn’t go into Tony’s room very often at all, so it felt a little odd - but not in a bad way. He felt good, cuddled between his dads, his rocket in his arms and a blanket round him. 

“Do you miss toddler me?”

“Yes” Loki said.

“A bit” Tony admitted. “But I’m really glad to have you back. I missed you a lot while you were tiny”

“It’s a little bit strange” Loki said. “Because you were always there, but you’re very different now to how you were as a toddler, so it was a little bit like you were a different person altogether”

“I’m still getting used to it” Peter said. “I can’t believe I spent four months as a toddler. It’s super weird”

“You’ll get your head round it eventually” Tony said. “We can talk about it as much a you like. Or as little. Whatever. We’ll work though it together”

“At least… Kindsprengen’s gun wasn’t exactly dangerous. At least it was a gun that just made me little, and not a gun that could’ve killed me, right? At least I didn’t get hurt”

“Exactly” Loki said. “You didn’t remember being big while you were little, but you weren’t hurt or negatively affected. It wasn’t an easy or ideal situation, but at least you were safe”

“There’s something I don’t understand” Peter said. “I got a bit hurt that day, while we were out fighting, like these cuts on my head and stuff. But why were they still there when I got turned big again? It’s weird, isn’t it? Surely they would’ve healed?”

“Well” Tony exchanged a look with Loki. “When you turned little, all those cuts and stuff were gone. We didn’t understand that either. Maybe it’s just one of those things”

“Maybe… Wait! This means that the world hasn’t seen Spiderman for four months! What if-”

“Don’t worry about that” Tony said quickly. “You father is very talented with his illusions. As far as the world knows, Spiderman has still been out and about. There’s some videos knocking about that I can show you”

“Oh” Peter said, visibly relaxing. “That was a cool idea. I didn’t think you’d consider it”

“Dad asked me to do it” Loki said. “He said you’d worry about it otherwise”

Peter went quiet for a moment. He looked down at his tummy, where either parent had rested an arm. He put his hands on theirs. 

“You know how some people ask if you feel like you missed out because you adopted me when I was older? Well, now you can truthfully say you knew me when I was a toddler”

Tony laughed slightly. “Well, you’re not wrong”

“You’re really good parents, you know” Peter said. “I really was happy as a toddler. But I’m happy now, too. That’s kinda because of you two, right?”

“You know we always want to do our best by you” Loki said. “We’ll always be your parents”

“Exactly” Tony said. “We’ll work through everything with you, no matter what”

“And do you want to know another thing?” Loki said. “Just because you’re big again, there’s one thing that doesn’t change”

Peter looked at him. “What?”

Loki and Tony looked at each other, and smiled.

“You’ll always be our baby boy”

*

*


	33. Epilogue

-

Peter’s legs did get better. Loki pushed him quite hard, spending countless hours in the pool and giving him various exercises (recommended by Jo Jo) to do. It was often difficult, and Peter sometimes got cross and upset, but after a few days he was no longer confined to the main pool.

Loki let them venture into the ‘weird pool’ as he called it: the bit of the pool with all the lights and ledges and fairy pools and puzzles. He found that Peter was better when he was distracted. He had to climb a lot and manoeuvre himself and clamber about and figure things out. He had to work quite hard to do it, but having something interesting to do shifted his focus from the pain and trembling in his legs over to the task at hand. It was good for mind, body, and soul.

-

Peter wasn’t back at school full time yet. He had one day decided he was ready, and against his better judgement, Tony gave him the benefit of the doubt and let him go. Peter insisted he would be fine, and Tony just nodded - but he wasn’t surprised when the school rang to say Peter had collapsed. Peter was incredibly upset when Tony picked him up. 

“It was so embarrassing!” he cried on the way home. “My legs gave out and they wouldn’t work again. I just couldn’t get up! Nigel had to help me, and even then I couldn’t stand, and Ms Hathersage was like, I admire your persistence, but you’re just not ready to be back. And then Nigel basically carried me to the sick room and everyone saw and it was so horrible!”

Tony had been sympathetic and did the best he could to reassure him, but firmly told him he wasn’t going back to school until he was 100% ready. A few days later, he had a meeting with the school, and it was decided that when Peter was ready, he would go back for half-days. Tony decided not to tell Peter until the time came.

-

Things did get easier. Against Tony’s wishes, Peter decided he wanted to meet some of Kindsprengen’s victims. A TV station helped set it up, but Tony refused to give them permission to film Peter, so he still stayed out of the limelight. 

Meeting some of the others who had been through the same experience really helped Peter. He met up with five of them, and three of them had experienced the same problem of shaking legs and mild dexterity problems after being zapped back, which came as a huge relief to Peter. It meant his experience was universal. He also found it useful talking about all the other left-over effects, like the emotions and the attachment to toys and kids telly. It was also interesting how being changed into a toddler, and being changed back, felt different to each of them. It was a strange situation, but talking to people with the same experiences helped.

Peter also met up and talked at length with Steve. Steve understood what it was like to suddenly wake up and have his last memories being something they shouldn’t really be. He also knew what it was like to adjust to a world they felt lost from. It really lifted a weight being able to talk about it. 

Reminiscing about the time he spent as a toddler was another important part of coming to terms with what had happened. He liked the stories everyone had to tell, and he liked talking about what he himself remembered. He asked Loki to buy him a notebook, and he spent hours privately writing down all of his toddler memories. He couldn’t change what had happened, and he decided eventually that he didn’t mind what had happened. He wanted to preserve it, strange as it all was. He felt there was something important about it.

-

A few things stuck from his time as a toddler. For one, Tony still called him Bambino. Peter was still attached to his rocket, and he did still play with his toys a fair bit. He was also still happy cuddling down watching kids telly. He generally had to nap in the afternoons, just for an hour or so. He also still started whimpering about things that didn’t really warrant tears, but he supposed there had to be at least one drawback side effect of Kindsprengen’s gun.

-

Tony found Peter wrapped in a blanket, cuddled up on Loki’s lap on the sofa one evening. He sat beside them and handed Peter a mug of warm milk.

“Thanks dad” Peter said, accepting the mug gratefully.

“Good afternoon?”

Peter nodded. “My legs don’t hurt as much anymore, even after that long swimming pool session. I think they’re getting better”

“How long have you been in here?”

Peter shrugged slightly, looking at Loki. “About twenty minutes?”

“About that” Loki said. “Your legs are still a little trembly, but they’re not too bad. You’ve made good progress”

“Does this mean I can go back to school now? I miss my friends”

Peter really did. He’d been too upset about his walking troubles to ask any of his friends round or meet up with them. 

“You’re in too much of a rush” Loki said gently. “If you miss them, ask them to visit. They won’t mind if you can’t walk for very long or if you need to keep resting”

Peter pouted. That wasn’t what he wanted to hear. He sighed and sipped his milk. Tony stroked his hair gently. 

“My little boy” he kissed him gently on the cheek. “You’ll get there. Just take advantage of all the extra looking after and stuff until you do”

Peter smiled slightly. “Well, I have enjoyed not having to make my own drinks”

Tony grinned and ruffled his hair. “I’ll make you drinks whenever you like, chick”

Peter giggled, going back to his drink. “Dad?”

“Yes, darling”

“I love you”

“Aww, sweetheart” Tony kissed him. “I love you too”

Peter looked at Loki. “I love you as well”

“And I love you” Loki said, kissing him on the temple. “You’re my baby boy”

“You say that a lot” Peter said.

He settled back against Loki’s chest and gulped down the rest of his milk.

“Can you do the one with the spices and stuff tomorrow night?” Peter asked. 

“Sure thing, kiddo” Tony said, taking the empty mug from him and setting it down on the coffee table. “Was that ok?”

Peter nodded, pulling the blanket back round himself properly. “Warm milk is such a good thing”

Peter yawned, and his nose wrinkled. 

“You’re so cute” Tony said, stroking his cheek with the back of his finger. “Are you tired?”

Peter nodded, yawning again. “I think it’s probably bedtime”

“I think that would be sensible” Loki said. “It’s been a long afternoon”

“Can you two take me?”

“Sure thing, kiddo” Tony said. “Let’s get you settled”

-

Peter snuggled down in bed. He had a parent either side of him, each of them stroking his hair gently. 

“You’ve done so well” Loki said gently. “You’re doing so well”

“I still get tired more than I did, I’m sure of it” Peter said, hugging his rocket and seal close.

“Never mind. That just means you have to rest a little more” Tony said.

“I’m sure it’ll pass” Loki said. “Like we keep saying; you’ll get there”

“I know. I’ve got you two to help me anyway, right?”

“Exactly” Tony said. “You’ve got us. We’ll do it together”

“We’ll do it all as a family” Loki said. “The way we always do”

*

*

*


End file.
